Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
L andyn
The front door clicks shut behind us and I lean against it for a moment, relieved to be home.
I set my purse on the entryway bench and glance down at Poppy.
She’s holding onto my pinky, her face drawn in a way that makes her look older than six.
She’s too quiet, too still. She was brave at the hospital, my dad and I did our best to keep her occupied, but I know today has left her with worries.
I smooth a hand over her hair and bend down slightly. “It’s late, baby. Why don’t you go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth, and I’ll come tuck you in, okay?”
She nods tiredly, and disappears down the hallway, bare feet padding softly over the hardwood. As soon as she’s out of sight, I let my eyes fall shut as the weight of the day crashes into me.
Mom is still at the hospital. She’s stable and they’re running more tests, but for now, there’s still so much we don’t know.
And then there’s Ford. The look on his face in the hospital parking lot when he said, “ I missed her whole life.” I can’t get it out of my head. It shattered me.
I press a hand to my chest, wishing I could stop the erratic beating of my heart. I want to fall apart. I want to scream. I want to curl up and cry. But I can’t. Not yet. Not while Poppy is still up.
“Mommy?” her voice calls from down the hallway.
I swipe at the corner of my eye quickly and force a smile into my voice. “I’m here, baby. You ready for your story?”
I find her standing at the foot of her bed, looking half-asleep already. We go through the usual bedtime routine—pulling back her covers, turning on the little cloud-shaped nightlight beside her bed, picking out her favorite book about a purple dragon who breathes out sparkles instead of fire.
She’s asleep by the third page, her cheek resting on my shoulder and one hand clutching mine. I stay that way for a little while longer, finding comfort in the stillness, in her sweet little face. When I finally get up and slip out of her room, it all comes crashing in again.
He was so angry. He looked at me like I was the enemy, like I’d done something unforgivable—and I know I have. Every accusation he hurled at me was true. I tried to explain, but there’s nothing I could say that would make this better or lessen his pain.
Before he left the hospital, he said he wanted to meet her, and I immediately agreed. Of course. He deserves that. They both do.
I sink into the couch, tucking my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. My life feels like it’s spinning out of control—my mom, this secret, the man I’ve loved for so long. The father of my daughter.
When I made this decision seven years ago, I thought I was protecting us all. But maybe all I did was take away their chance to love each other from the beginning.
The sun is just starting to break through the low-hanging clouds as I pull out of the school parking lot, the weight from yesterday still pressing heavily on my chest.
Dropping Poppy off at before-school care felt like peeling off a part of myself. She was quiet again this morning, still trying to process what happened at the hospital. What she saw. What she felt. And I didn’t have the heart, or the strength, to unpack it all with her. Not yet.
I take the familiar turn down toward Cove, sipping lukewarm coffee. When I walk into the office, Becca and Marco are already sitting at the worktable, whispering like they do when something is off. I haven’t even put down my bag before Becca’s eyes land on me.
“There she is,” she says softly, giving me a once-over. “How’s your mom?”
I manage a smile that feels stretched too thin. “Stable. They’re running more tests today. My dad stayed with her overnight and I’m heading back there after work.”
Becca nods, stepping closer. “We’ve been thinking about you. If you need anything…”
“You look tired,” Marco cuts in, brow creased.
“That’s because I am,” I answer with a weak laugh.
“You should have taken the day off. Ford would have understood.” Becca says, pulling me into a hug. “But seriously, anything at all—rides for Poppy, meals, even someone to run interference here— we’ve got you.”
“Don’t try to be a hero,” Marco admonishes. “You’ve had a lot dumped on you this week. You can’t do everything.”
I shrug. “I don’t really have a choice.”
Becca’s gaze softens. “You do, actually. You don’t have to do everything on your own. You’ve got people now. We’re your friends, Landyn.”
I blink at that—friends. It’s been a long time since anyone other than my mom felt like a sure thing. I lost contact with most of my friends soon after leaving Deep Cove. And once Poppy arrived, I was a single mom, working in every spare moment I could find. I didn’t have time to make new friends.
“Thank you. That means a lot,” I tell them, meaning it.
Becca leans in a little, dropping her voice. “Something’s weird around here today. The vibes are off.”
I arch a brow. “Weird? How so?”
“Ford didn’t come in. No one’s seen him. And even stranger…nobody seems to know where he is.”
My chest clenches, but I keep my expression neutral. “Work has really ramped up at the new site, maybe he’s dealing with things out there,” I offer.
Becca gives me a look like, sure, girl , but she doesn’t push. Before I can say anything else, Jesse’s voice calls from behind me. “Landyn, you got a sec?”
I turn to find him standing in the break room doorway, hands stuffed into the pockets of his Cove zip up. His usual easy charm is dimmed today, softer around the edges.
“Sure,” I nod, following him inside. The break room is empty, quiet. Jesse leans against the counter and for a long moment, he just watches me. It makes me wonder how much he knows.
“How’s your mom, really?” he asks gently .
“She’s okay, but worried. We all are. They don’t know what it is yet.” I hesitate. “Thanks for asking.”
He nods, then exhales slowly. “I hope it’s okay that I know. Ford couldn’t hide it.”
My stomach turns. “He told you?”
“Not exactly. But when he couldn’t get a hold of you yesterday, he… panicked. I’ve never seen him like that.” Jesse crosses his arms. “He tried to keep it together at the site, but we all saw it.”
I look down at the floor. “I didn’t mean for any of this to get messy.”
“Life’s messy,” Jesse says. “But you should know he sent me a message this morning.”
My heart stops. “What kind of message?”
He offers a small smile. “An order, more like. I was instructed to tell you to take the rest of the week off. Be with your mom. No debate.”
I blink. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he says. “And between us? I think he’d be there himself if something wasn’t tearing him up.”
I nod, throat tight. So, Ford didn’t tell his brother. “It’s complicated, Jesse.”
He steps closer, voice soft. “Whatever’s going on between you two… he’s still that guy. The one who’d do anything for you.”
I don’t say anything, because I’m not so sure that’s true anymore. Not after the way he looked at me outside that hospital.
Jesse pushes off the counter. “I meant it when I said take the week. Ford will have my head if you aren’t at the hospital with your mom.”
I clear my throat. “Okay. Thanks. Really. ”
He gives me a quick, reassuring smile. “Go be with your mom. You only get one.”
As I walk out of the break room, I can feel the weight of everything that’s waiting for me. The grief I’ve been holding at bay, the guilt I can’t shake, the fallout I’m still bracing for, and somewhere beneath all of that…the aching hope that maybe, just maybe, Ford can find a way to forgive me.
I gather my things from my desk and slip my phone into my bag, grateful to Ford for knowing that I need to be with my mom. Right now, my mind is anywhere but Cove.
Becca catches my eye as I pass her desk. She doesn’t say anything, but there’s concern written all over her face. She doesn’t know the whole story, but she knows enough. Enough to see the exhaustion in my eyes, the cracks I’m doing a poor job of hiding.
Outside, I wince against the bright glare of the sun. The air has a crisp bite, and I pull my sweater around myself as I head to my car, wishing I had put on something warmer this morning. Or maybe I’m just cold from the inside out.
The moment I close the car door, the silence swallows me whole. No voices. No questions. Just me and the ache I can’t shake.
I drive on autopilot, familiar streets blurring past the window. I should be thinking about my mom and what the doctors might say, about the way my dad hovered around her yesterday like she might disappear if he blinked.
Instead, my thoughts drift—again—to Ford.
I haven’t heard from him since he left me standing in the parking lot. The questions in his eyes, the pain—it wrecked me. And now, nothing. No calls. No texts. Just silence so loud it feels like punishment. A punishment I know I deserve.
I pull into the hospital lot, white-knuckling the steering wheel for a beat before I finally let go. My legs are heavy when I step out of the car, anxiety building with each step toward the hospital doors.
I need to focus on my mom, and on what today might bring. But in the back of my mind, I can’t stop thinking about him .
Because if Ford can’t find a way to come back from this, I’m not sure I’ll be able to either.