CHAPTER 16
ARDEN
It was only a few days after Rosalie returned home to Sagebrush when she sat Ford down and told him how she’s planning on moving to Rafael’s house.
She doesn’t want to miss out on time with her grandbaby, but she won’t leave for six months.
I’m sure there was part of her which was pained to give him that much time.
I don’t think Ford was surprised, but I do think he was hurt. Rosalie is the only mom he’s known for a long time and after severing ties with the mother who gave him life, he was already a little adrift. Rosalie’s announcement hit him hard.
The next time I saw him, he tucked his head into the crook of my neck and held onto me tightly. It was like he was afraid I would disappear right in front of his eyes.
I cleared my throat as I ran my fingers through his hair. “You’re sure about this thing with me?” My voice was soft, hesitant.
His head shot up and he looked at me for a long time, as if he was trying to measure the true meaning of my question. “The only thing I am sure of is Sagebrush and you, Sunflower.”
I nodded, swallowed hard, and decided to be brave. “Then I don’t see why we need to wait,” I started, my words slow and unsure.
“I don’t understand,” his hand came down to rest on my belly, a reminder about how we weren’t exactly waiting for much of anything as we gambled with nature.
“We’re going to build a life together, one that is just ours, one full of happiness,” I sounded unsure, but I wasn’t. Ford nodded, his expression was still filled with questions. “Then we don’t need to wait to get started.”
He cupped my cheek, his voice earnest, “You need to spit it out, Arden, because you’re starting to freak me out a little.”
“What if I moved in here? I could take over the kitchen duties and running the house. I know it’s not as important,” my words were cut off as I let out a yelp of surprise.
I was up and in Ford’s arms so quickly my hair was still flying around my head.
“Don’t do that,” his voice was fierce, “don’t ever downplay the role of the home and kitchen on a ranch.
Without fuel, nothing gets done around here and that is true from the tractors to the horses to the men.
This ranch house used to be the heart of this land, and I want it to be again, so damn desperately I can’t even put it into words. ”
The way his voice cracked did me in. I cupped his jaw and pulled him close enough to kiss him softly. He tried to chase my lips, but I covered his mouth with my hand and smiled.
“This way it gives me six months to learn about everything Rosalie has been doing around here. It might take that long,” I mused.
He nodded and swallowed hard, a mixture of awe and remorse in his gaze. “Thank you,” he rasped. I wrap myself around him, hoping to ease some of the pain he was wrestling with. “I’m going to miss her,” he mumbled after burying his face in my hair.
“I know,” I tried to soothe him.
Just then Rosalie bustled into the room, her eyes wet with unshed tears.
“Ford Conners,” she chastised him and his head shot up.
The uncertainty in his gaze gutted me; I’m sure it did the same to her.
“You better listen to me and listen to me good, I am not abandoning you. Rafael might be my son by blood, but I love you like a son and have treated you like one for as long as you can remember.”
One side of his mouth tipped up, barely, but I saw it. “You have,” he admitted solemnly, “which is why I’m going to miss you so much, but I’m happy for you too.”
“Being two things at once is hard,” Rosalie’s words and smile were brittle.
“I’m torn too, Ford,” she admitted, “especially now that you’ve found the woman strong enough and warm enough to stand at your side and build a family to be proud of together.
” She shot me a smile and winked, her tone turned teasing, “I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure I would ever see the day. ”
Ford chuckled and I could see the triumph in her eyes. She looked at me again and I could practically hear her instructions. Get him to laugh more often. Don’t let him work himself into the dirt. Ride the lows and celebrate the highs.
“I’m just going to miss you,” Ford’s words were rough and my heart melted for him.
“I’ll be back to visit you, I promise.” He nodded, but I could still see the pain in his expression, the loss he was bracing for.
Her voice was sure, but soft, “It’s time for a new era at Sagebrush.
I know you’ll work together, build a family, and get the next generation ready to take over when it’s time. The cycle continues, life goes on.”
I hope I can live up to everything Ford needs because he’s certainly more than I ever expected.
It was only a matter of days before Ford, all of his ranch hands, Rosalie, Kendrick, and Eliza showed up at my door ready to help me pack and to get all my stuff moved out to Sagebrush. Now, we’ve been living together for a month and slowly tackling the easy things we wanted to change around here.
The first thing I did was get all of the furniture out of the drawing room. Drawing room; what pretentious crap. Nothing should be in a farmhouse, one which sits on a working ranch, which has people thinking twice about sitting down.
When it’s all done, the drawing room will be a den. It’ll be cozy and business associates as well as family and friends will feel equally comfortable sitting there and spending time.
We’ve made a plan for getting the things done that will require a contractor. Ford wants to tear out some walls, but he knows the bones of the house are solid.
Just like the life we’re building here, together.
It might be solid, but I still feel like I’m going to throw up at any moment. At this point, I’m not even sure how long I’ve been standing in front of the vanity while staring at the six pregnancy tests in front of me.
I thought one was going to be enough, but I still unwrapped all six. Just to be sure when the first test was certainly sure enough.
And every subsequent test has said the same thing.
Pregnant.
“I’m pregnant,” I try out the words, a whisper that is loud in the silence of the bathroom.
“Arden?” Ford calls out to me right before pushing the bathroom door open.
I don’t have the chance to even consider hiding the tests because he’s there next to me before I know what’s happening. His whiskey-colored eyes are locked on the tests lined up in a perfect row as if that somehow matters considering the gravity of the situation.
Ford picks up one of the tests and brings it far too close to his face considering it’s been in contact with my urine. My face scrunches up and I reach for it, but he holds it up too high for me to reach.
With a pout, I cross my arms across my chest and wait.
“You’re pregnant,” he breathes out the words like he can’t believe he’s saying them out loud.
Emotion rushes through me and my arms drop to my sides. It’s not easy, but I manage to swallow past the lump in my throat.
“I’m pregnant,” I confirm.
He puts the test down on the counter like it’s precious before his arm hooks around my waist and he’s pulling me flush against his chest. My hands come up and brace against him and I watch the emotions flit across my man’s face.
“Our family is growing,” his voice is husky and his eyes are glassy.
I’m being lifted and carried back into our room where he puts me back on my feet. When he’s standing next to the bed, next to where I know he still keeps all my letters, he pushes my shoulders gently until I’m sitting on the edge.
He gets down on his knees in front of me, the action feeling like sacrifice and reverence at the same time.
He slides a ring out of his pocket, and I gasp at the size of it. “Ford Conners,” I admonish him, “please tell me you have not been carrying around a gem that size in your pocket.”
The smirk on my man’s face is devastating in the best of ways.
“I’ve been looking for the right time to slip this on your finger, and I can’t imagine there being a better one.
” His large hand slides over my belly which shows no signs of the life growing inside me.
“Please be my wife, Arden, my Sunflower. Please,” he begs.
“Write me letters until we’re old, fall in love with our land over and over again, laugh and love with me right here, and make this place a home with me. ”
Tears are streaming down my face and the only thing I can manage to do is nod. “Yes, Ford,” my words feel holy, like a vow, “I’ll marry you.”
His shoulders drop and he plays with the ring sitting on my finger. I can see the pride shining in his eyes and I can’t help but admire the ring.
“You should know something,” he starts and clears his throat, his body shifting like he’s uncomfortable.
I’ve learned a lot about Ford over the last month of living with him.
He’s stubborn.
He’s fiercely loyal.
He loves this land with everything in him.
His heart beats for me and he puts me first before anything else.
And not much rattles him, so seeing him nervous right now is strange. I’m not sure whether to giggle or take whatever is about to come out of his mouth very seriously.
“I’ve had my will, the deeds to the land and the house, as well as the business paperwork, changed to ensure you are always protected and taken care of.”
I blink at the man in front of me a few times, unsure if I heard him right.
Yeah, giggling would not have been the right move.
My stomach pitches and this time I’m not sure if it’s because of the baby I’m growing, or the words just laid at my feet. Maybe a little of both.
I can’t believe what he’s just told me. “That’s too much,” I try to argue.
He shakes his head, his voice like steel, “No, it’s not nearly enough. You are everything to me, Sunflower, and you deserve to be protected if something were to happen. You better believe I wasn’t going to wait around until something did.”
My hands cup his face and I kiss him hard. “I love you, Cowboy,” I mutter the words against his lips and feel his curve into a smile.
“I love you, wife.”
I chuckle and shake my head while pointing out, “I’m not your wife yet.”
He pulls back, his amber colored eyes intense as he stares down at me. “Are you wearing my ring?” I nod and he looks very satisfied with himself. “Are you growing my baby?” I nod again. “Like I said—wife.”
I shake my head at him, but I don’t argue. It would be useless anyway.
“What kind of wedding to you want?” His question is curious and I find myself shrugging.
“Nothing outlandish. I want to get married here, on our land, surrounded by the people who matter to us,” I admit.
He kisses me softly and whispers, “Perfect.”
I’m not perfect, far from it, but I think we might be perfect together. It’s hard to believe there was a time when I watched this man from afar. I’m still not sure where I got the courage to write him in the first place.
And now here we are, looking toward a future which will be as glorious and full as we make it.
“We have to get ready for the fundraiser. It’s Casino Night,” I remind him gently and he groans.
“I’m only going because you’re going,” he grunts.
As if I didn’t already know that. But it’s time for Ford to rejoin life in Seneca Falls. Because this community is what will help lift us up when times get hard. They’ll also be right there to cheer us on when success feels too easy.
“Here’s the plan,” I can hear the negotiation in his voice, “I’m going to strip you and make love to you to celebrate our good news.” Even though we’ll probably be late then, I perk up at the suggestion and Ford smirks. “Then while you’re getting ready, I’ll make you a PB&J.”
“They’ll have food at the event,” I remind him.
His mouth turns down into a wicked scowl. “But you don’t know what they’ll have. Maybe you won’t like it.” He shrugs and explains, “I can’t have you not eating because of Mrs. Riley’s menu choices.” I’m stunned into love-filled silence as I study the man in front of me.
“Then we’ll go, but I’m already reserving the right to slide into you before sleep takes us,” he tells me with a grin.
When he kisses me this time, the heat behind licks at my skin. He undresses me with reverent hands and words of love whispered against my skin like a prayer. As he slides inside of me, all I feel is the love this man has for me.
It’s amazing to think that my future all began with a letter I addressed to my ‘Dear Cowboy’.