Chapter 14
FROM DEAR DEBBIE DRAFTS FILE
Dear Debbie,
When we first got married, my husband was adamant that he didn’t want me to work.
I thought this was very sweet, and when my children were young, it made sense.
I loved how he provided for us. But it could also be frustrating.
For example, he set up our credit card so that he had to approve every purchase.
When I wanted to buy something, I would have to call him about it and get his verbal approval beforehand, or else the card would be declined.
Similarly, we only have one joint bank account, and it only has a small amount of money that is my “allowance.” Since I am the one who buys groceries, most of the money must be spent on that, and if I want any other purchases, I have to ask him to add money to the account.
He insists that I “save” the money from my tiny allowance, so if my shoes wear out and I need a new pair, I have to save for months to buy them.
He feels that I’m not responsible with my spending, and he has a point.
I’m not the one earning the money. For that reason, now that our children are older, I suggested the possibility of getting a job so I could have my own money.
I thought this was the perfect solution, but when I mentioned it, he became furious and said that if I got a job, it would mean that I don’t trust him to support me.
I am just frustrated because even though we are well off, I have been living on a shoestring budget for my entire marriage. How can I convince my husband to let me work and become more financially independent?
Rich But Broke
Dear Rich But Broke,
What you are describing is financial abuse.
Your husband is using money as a way to control you and he deserves to suffer.
You don’t need his permission to get a job.
You don’t need his permission for anything!
My advice is that you should slip poison into his wine at dinner speak to a divorce lawyer.
I’d be happy to give you more information on poisons that are unlikely to be detected on autopsy local legal options if you’d like to contact me through my email address on the website.
Debbie