Chapter Three
Sometime later?—it could have been five minutes or five hours?—Josh had left Eliza in the company of her coworkers. They’d all come?—Vanessa, Nourish Our Youth’s director; her assistant, Bridget; Davin, the communications director; Patrice, the vice president of operations, and their admin, Amber. Eliza found herself thinking it was a good thing none of the youth needed to be nourished at that moment, since no one was minding the store. The fact that this thought amused her probably had a lot to do with the wine she had drunk and the food she’d failed to consume.
“I don’t want to bother you with work, but where do we stand on securing lunch with the mayor for the silent auction? I’m working on the press release and...” Davin was all about issuing press releases.
“Leave the poor girl alone,” Vanessa interrupted, her immaculately plucked eyebrows raised. “Eliza. You take the time you need. But I’m sure you’ll be back next week, yes?”
Bridget rolled her eyes at Eliza, and she only just stopped herself from rolling hers back.
“Yes, next week. Sure. Next week.” Or that was what Eliza thought she’d said. But maybe it came out “wext neek”? So she repeated it again. “Next week.”
Vanessa looked at her oddly, and Eliza realized she was still nodding. She stopped.
Patrice, whose ubiquitous cardigan was black today, probably in deference to the shiva, interjected. “What can we do for you, Eliza?”
Amber replied before Eliza could. “I know?—I’ll bring you some bread. My sourdough starter is perfect now.” Eliza wasn’t sure how Amber managed living in Queens when her hobbies were much more suited to the great outdoors. She was forever bringing herbs into the office for everyone to use in their cooking, not seeming to realize that most of them ordered their meals in, already cooked.
“Bread. Great.” Eliza looked over toward the table, now crowded with all the offerings everyone had brought. Food. Maybe she should have some. That side of the room just felt so far away. As she pondered, a voice she recognized separated itself from the others.
“Hey?—I’m looking for Eliza?”
And there was Carter?—his navy button-down tucked into jeans, his nearly black hair flopping into his face. He was exquisitely beautiful. And he knew it. He’d spotted her and was heading in her direction. She realized in that moment that she’d never actually expected him to show up.
“Babe!” He put his arms around her. “I’m so sorry.”
“You came!” she said.
He drew back. “Of course I came, babe.”
“I didn’t think you would.” Did I say that out loud? Eliza’s eyes slid across the room and caught on Josh’s own narrowed ones. She reached up to Carter’s face, feeling the stubble on his jaw. “But I’m glad you did.” And then she was kissing him, right in the middle of the room.
She heard throat-clearing. Scott was standing next to them, his hand outstretched. “Scott. Eliza’s brother.”
Carter flashed his disarming smile. “Carter.”
“My...” Eliza trailed off. “Right. Carter.”
And then Mo was there, too. “Hi. I’m Mohini. Eliza’s best friend.” Clearly that relationship status was defined.
“Mohini. Nice to meet you.” Carter shook her hand as well. “And, Scott?—I’m sorry for your loss, man.”
Scott acknowledged Carter’s words with a nod.
“Do you think I could grab something to eat, babe? I’m starving.”
“Oh, right, sure.” Eliza felt a little off-kilter. Having all these people together in one room was wrong. Like kung pao chicken served with potatoes au gratin and baklava for dessert. Her coworkers, Scott, and Mo watched Carter head off toward the food.
Davin spoke a moment later. “Well. I guess I should be going.” The rest of the Nourish Our Youth group murmured assent.
Amber gave her a quick hug. “I’ll bring you some bread this weekend.”
Vanessa patted her shoulder. “Let us know when you’ll be back in the office.”
As soon as they’d moved away, Mo sidled up to her. “So this is the famous Carter.”
“You haven’t met him before?”
“No, Eliza, I haven’t met him before,” Mo replied with exaggerated patience.
Scott watched the two women’s back-and-forth. “Is this another one of your winners, Eliza?”
Eliza rolled her eyes at her brother and walked away, leaning up against Carter as he piled pastrami onto rye bread.
“How long have we been together?” she asked.
He glanced at her and then back at the array on the table, reaching for a pickle. “Together?”
“You know.” She pointed from him to herself and back to him. “You and me. Together.”
He shrugged. “I dunno.”
It was suddenly very important to Eliza to know the answer. It had been a while, but Mo hadn’t met him? How was that possible? Maybe because they spent most of their time alone in her apartment?
“We met that weekend I was out in the Hamptons, right? So it was July...?”
“I guess so, babe. Does it matter?”
Easier to puzzle about how long they’d been bumping uglies than about the fact that her dead father wasn’t her father.
As they turned from the table, Scott appeared again. “Eliza. Can we talk?”
“Sure. Talk.”
Scott looked pointedly at Carter. “In private?”
Eliza gave a deep sigh. She was so very tired.
“Go ahead, babe, I’ll be fine.”
From the look on Scott’s face, it appeared he didn’t appreciate Carter giving them permission to step away.
Eliza followed Scott into the bedroom. He switched on the bedside lamp. The bedspread was striped in muted gray and taupe, and a collection of pillows?—some round, some square, and some cylindrical?—were artistically heaped against the padded headboard. Next to the lamp on the nightstand was a copy of the latest Fredrik Backman release. Must be Maren’s side of the bed.
“So can we go back to that little bomb you dropped earlier?” Scott asked.
Eliza blinked. Her head was full of cotton.
“Eliza! You said Mom left a letter for you. What are you talking about?”
Oh, that little bomb. Scott, you don’t even know what a bomb is. She thought hazily about the group of people in the other room. Josh. Carter. Adam. Mo. It was all such a blur. “Can we do this another time, please?”
“Seriously? You can’t just say something like that and not expect me to ask questions.” Scott pushed his hand through his hair.
“I know. You’re right. But it’s too much. It’s too big. I can’t.”
Would Scott look at her differently when he knew they were only half siblings? Would he think of Laura differently? How could she tell him Laura’s secret when their mother wasn’t even here to defend herself? To explain herself? But she created this mess of a situation, didn’t she? Was it up to Eliza to protect her? If not her, then who?
“Eliza. Come on. She was my mom, too. And you and me?—we’re all we’ve got now.” Scott’s voice caught, and tears sprang to Eliza’s eyes.
“Seriously, Scott. I just can’t right now. I’m sorry I said anything.” She turned to leave, and the room spun around her. She closed her eyes to get her bearings and then made her way back out. She found Carter with Maren, Maren laughing at something Carter must have said.
“There you are!” Carter reached for her, and she let him pull her in to his side.
“Eliza! You can’t walk away like that!” Scott was right behind her, his voice quietly loud?—expressing his frustration while trying not to draw attention to them. Quite a feat.
“What’s going on?” Maren’s eyebrows drew together, lines bunching between them.
“I just want Eliza to tell me about my mom’s letter.”
Since when did she become his mom and not our mom?
Eliza looked at Maren, who was clearly torn between wanting to take Scott’s side and feeling uncomfortable interjecting.
“Scott...” Eliza’s voice trailed off.
Carter took a half step forward. “Look, if she doesn’t want to talk about it, just let it go.” Eliza appreciated his gamely entering the fray for her, even as she wished he’d stay out of it. More cooks weren’t going to turn down the heat in this kitchen.
Scott’s face hardened. “I’m sorry, Carter , but I don’t think this has anything to do with you.” His voice was quiet, but still angry.
Eliza noticed people drifting toward them. Mo. Josh. They’d clearly been keeping a watchful eye. She put her hand on Carter’s arm, silently asking him to let it go. She knew her brother was hanging by a thread. Carter glanced at her and raised his eyebrows.
“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked.
Did she? What she wanted was to turn the clock back twenty-four hours to when she didn’t know what she knew. She closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she opened them, it seemed like everyone was staring at her. Just like everyone stared at her when she went back to school after Laura died. She felt like an animal in a zoo?—if it were the kind of zoo where visitors were allowed to get close enough to poke at the animals.
She nodded. She needed air.
“Eliza...” Scott’s tone was pleading, and Maren stepped to his side, gripping his hand.
Eliza’s heart was pounding, and her hands went cold. Josh’s eyes didn’t leave her face. She opened her mouth to say she needed a minute. To repeat that she couldn’t talk about it. And everyone was looking at her. And the walls were closing in.
“Fine!” Her voice was loud to her own ears. Was she shouting? “You want to know? I’ll tell you. Dad wasn’t my dad. Mom slept with her high school boyfriend at her reunion. And got pregnant. With me. That’s the big secret. That’s what was in the letter.”