12
My frustration with him comes to a point as I snap back. “There you go again! You keep doing this!”
“Doing what?”
“You keep freaking out at me out of nowhere! First at the wedding, then on Friday when I told you I had plans, and now when—”
I freeze, my words choking off mid sentence. My eyes widen and lock with his as the bite of burger I’d had settles like a rock in the pit of my stomach. Jeremiah turns red, looking away to stare down at his food. The pieces fall into place in my head as realization dawns on me.
Ever since I started working at the office, Jeremiah has gone out of his way to talk to me and to help me out whenever I need it. I recall how often he spends his breaks standing at my cubicle to chat, and how often he asks me if I want to grab lunch with him. At the same time, Jessie’s remark about how she thought Jeremiah and I would start dating, along with Macy’s pointed comment about how he hardly talks to anyone but me, both come floating back to my mind.
Oh my gosh.
I’m an idiot.
I swallow, lowering my hand and taking a breath. “Jeremiah…”
He still won’t look at me.
“Jeremiah… do… um, do you…” I exhale, leaning forward on the counter. “Do you have feelings for me?”
As I finally get the question out, my eyes land on a corner of the restaurant with a familiar figure in it.
“Scott?” I say it aloud by accident. Jeremiah glances up at me, then over to the same corner of the room I’m staring at. Scott is sitting across from someone else, an older gentleman, but he notices me and waves happily.
What is he doing here?
“That’s the guy from the wedding,” Jeremiah says, his tone low. I turn my attention back to him. His gaze flicks from Scott to me. “Is he the one you’ve been going out with?”
“I…” I hesitate. “Yes.” There’s nothing else for me to say, no way to make the blow any softer.
Jeremiah stares at me for a minute, then nods. “Fine. Then he can drive you back to the office.”
“What?”
He stands abruptly, turning to go.
“Jeremiah,” I call after him. “Jeremiah, wait!”
He stops and turns. Pain and surprise swell in my chest when I notice his eyes are glistening with unshed tears.
“I did wait, Lucy. For four years.”
With that, he shuffles out of the diner.
I stare after him in shock, feeling the prickling of tears forming in my own eyes.
How could I not have noticed?
“Lucy,” I whisper to myself, “you’re such an idiot.”
I continue to stare at the door, at a loss as to what to do. Why did Scott have to be here today? Why did I have to notice him at that exact moment?
No. None of this is his fault.
It’s mine.
Why did I have to be so oblivious?
“Lucy?”
I turn and see Scott standing next to me, his forehead creased with concern. I straighten up and try to give him my brightest smile.
“Hey, Scott! What are you doing here?”
“I was just meeting with the owner, trying to pitch him on a video for his restaurant.” His eyebrows draw even closer together as he looks at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is good. I’m—” I stop as I feel a rogue tear slip down my cheek. “Shoot.” I swipe at it angrily with a trembling hand as Scott leans closer.
“Lucy?”
I look up again and meet his eyes, which are so soft and warm and full of concern all my defenses immediately fall.
“Talk to me.”
“Um… I’m kind of having a rough day,” I admit, another tear slipping down my cheek even as I try to smile.
Scott studies me for a second, then gently wipes the tear away with his thumb before wrapping me in a hug. At first, I’m surprised, but then I relax against his chest, a few more silent tears escaping. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. Him being here, just giving me a hug, is more than enough. He makes me feel safe and secure.
I take a deep breath when the wave of emotion finally passes. His cologne fills my senses, a scent that’s already become familiar and comforting. I’m silent when he releases me, embarrassment preventing me from speaking. He takes a seat on the barstool next to mine.
“Was that Jeremiah?” he asks.
“Yeah. Do you know him?”
“Not personally,” he says, shaking his head. “I just saw him with you at the wedding. When I got your number from Macy, I made sure to ask her if you guys were dating, first. She said you weren’t.”
“No, we weren’t. And we aren’t,” I add, realizing how our lunch together might have looked. “We’re just friends.” I glance at the door. “At least, that’s what I thought we were. I… I guess Jeremiah wanted more than that. But, I don’t feel that way about him. Obviously,” I add, turning back to Scott.
Scott nods, looking from me, to the door, then back to me. “Well, I’m glad for me that you don’t have feelings for him, but at the same time, I’m sorry. This sort of thing sucks. And me being here probably made it worse for you.”
“No,” I shake my head. “I’m glad you were here. It would have been a really awkward car ride back to work otherwise.”
Scott’s eyebrows knit together. “Did he drive you here?”
“Um… yeah, he did.”
His tone sharpens. “And he just left you here without a ride back because he’s upset?”
I blink, surprised by the shift in Scott’s demeanor. “It’s okay,” I say, trying to cover for Jeremiah. “It’s not that far back to the office. I can walk.”
“No way. I’ll drive you back.”
“I’m fine, Scott, really! You’re here for work, right? You should get back. I don’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting,” he says, his tone softening again. “I finished up the meeting with the owner before you and Jeremiah even walked in; we were just talking afterwards. I’m happy to drive you back.”
I hesitate for a moment, then give in. “If you’re sure.”
“Of course I’m sure.”
I let out a little breath of relief and nod, glancing at the time. “We should probably head out, my lunch is almost over.”
Scott nods. “Okay. Want a box for your food?”
I glance at it. I’d only taken one bite of my burger and hardly made a dent in the fries. I felt like I was starving when I walked in, but not anymore.
“Mhm.”
Scott asks one of the staff for a box, then hands it to me. I pack up my leftovers and stand, following him out. He opens the door of the restaurant for me, then grabs my leftovers from my hands to carry them.
“My car is over there,” he says, pointing across the street.
“Thank you,” I say. “I’m so embarrassed about this. I’m a total mess. And I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.” We both climb in the car and pull the doors shut. “And,” Scott continues, “you’re pretty all the time, mess or not.”
I blush, warmed by the compliment.
“Hey, Lucy…” Scott trails off.
I turn to him, waiting for him to finish.
“I know we’ve been talking the last couple weeks, and we’ve been going out, but I never really clarified anything.” His cheeks tinge red, and he keeps his eyes glued to the road. I notice he’s gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than necessary. “I’m not just messing around. I want you to be my girlfriend, if you want that, too.”
A thrill of excitement and nerves run through me as my heart beats a little faster. I want to shout yes, but instead, I squint at Scott, as if I’m evaluating him.
He shoots me a bewildered look.
“Depends,” I say, sitting back and crossing my arms.
“On what?” he asks suspiciously.
“Are you any good at putting together party favors for nine-year-olds?”
His eyebrows rise, then he grins. “As a matter of fact, I do have some experience in that department.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to say yes.” A wide smile breaks out on my face. Scott’s death grip on the steering wheel relaxes.
“Gotta admit, I was a little worried when I saw you two walk in together for lunch.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, wincing. “I didn’t even think about it.”
“Don’t apologize,” he shakes his head. “Remember how I told you that when I got your number from Macy, she said you and Jeremiah weren’t dating? Well, she also told me he was going to ask you out soon, so I needed to move fast.”
“What?” I look at Scott in annoyed disbelief. “She said that? That’s so not true. There’s no way…” I stop, recalling the strange look Macy had given me when Jeremiah and I were leaving for lunch.
“Oh.”
Had he really been planning on making his move soon?
“What is it?” Scott asks.
“I… think Macy may have been trying to warn me when I left with Jeremiah today. She was being weird, but I didn’t know why.” My eyes widen in horror. “Oh my gosh, she probably thinks I’m cheating on you already!”
“Already?” Scott shoots me a look.
“No! No, that’s not what I meant.” I stumble over my words in a panic. “I don’t cheat. I mean, I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so it’s not like I can prove it, but I’m not a cheater. Besides, who would ever cheat on you? You’re, like, a perfect Prince Charming. So, you’re stuck with me. I mean, as long as you want to be stuck with me. If you don’t want to be stuck with me anymore, then I’m not trying to force you or anything. Not that I wouldn’t be sad if you… um…”
Scott is trying—unsuccessfully—not to laugh. My cheeks redden as I bury my face in my hands to stop myself from rambling any further. “Okay, I’m going to shut up now.”
“Am I really your first boyfriend?”
Why did I tell him that? Why did I tell him that? He’s so gonna think something is wrong with me now.
“Yes, and I really regret telling you that,” I say, my face still buried in my hands.
“Why?”
I peek out at him, then sigh. “Because. It’s embarrassing. ‘I’m twenty-six-years-old and I’ve got nothin’ to show for it.’”
He grins. “First of all, you’re twenty-three. Second, that’s my favorite quote from Elf.”
“Figured you’d like that,” I say as a half smile tugs at my lips.
“Third,” he continues, “you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Really.”
I smile, taking in his profile as he drives.
“What? Is there a booger hanging out of my nose or something?”
I laugh and swat his arm. “No, you turd. I was just thinking how glad I am Macy got married and invited me to her wedding.”
Scott grins. “Yeah. Me too.”
We make it back to the office, and, even though I tell him he doesn’t have to, Scott walks me all the way to the door, holding it open for me. I look up at him as we step inside.
“Thank you for the ride. I really hope I didn’t mess up your schedule.”
“No way,” he smiles. “I was happy to see you.”
“Hey, Lucy! And… Scott?”
We both glance up to see a confused Macy waving at us. Scott steps inside the lobby with me, looking around.
Macy squints at Scott, then me. “Didn’t you go to lunch with Jeremiah? Or am I crazy?”
“Yeah,” I nod, my throat feeling a little tight. “Is he back yet?”
“No…” Her brow furrows. “What happened?”
I start to answer, then stop as the door to the office swings open. Jeremiah stops in the doorway with a look of surprise aimed at Scott, which quickly turns into a scowl. Scott placidly stares back, blinking.
This whole situation is beyond uncomfortable.
“Um… Jeremiah, have you met Scott?” Macy asks, trying to break up the tension.
“You mean the new guy Lucy found to run errands for her?” He bites the words out.
“What?” I snap at him, shocked by his comment. Scott tenses beside me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jeremiah locks eyes with me. “Like you don’t know.”
“I don’t.”
“I’ve practically been doing your job for you the last four years.”
“Excuse me?” My voice rises. “That is so not true!”
“Oh yeah? Then why do you ask me for help about fifty times a week?”
“You offered to help me! I asked you if I was asking you to do too much and you said no! I never forced you to do anything!”
My insides are a confusing mix of anger and hurt. Had I taken advantage of Jeremiah? Had I been selfish? He has no right to be lashing out at me this way. But… In some ways, he’s right. I should have noticed. I should have realized how he felt. I shouldn’t have relied on him so much, because, even if I didn’t realize it at the time, I had been leading him on. And now it’s all such a mess.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice softer. “I never knew how you felt. I should have noticed, but I just didn’t—”
“Yeah, well, why would you? You’re Lucy Greene, Monica’s special assistant, who’s so important and so busy with so much to do. Monica dumps her crap on you, and I’m conveniently there for you to dump your crap on me, right?”
My mouth falls open. His words hurt. I’m left speechless as my eyes start to sting again.
Macy cuts in. “Jeremiah, you’re not being fair.”
“You know what’s not fair?” His mouth is set somewhere between a frown and a sneer. “Lucy stringing me along the last four years only to drop me the moment someone else came along.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “What? I never—”
“That’s enough.”
We all turn to Scott, his tone sharp and firm.
Jeremiah glares at him. “What, you’re gonna play the hero now?”
“Dude, what's wrong with you?” Scott shakes his head, a look of disgust on his face. “We all get it. You have feelings for Lucy, and she doesn’t feel the same. That doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk.” His features are tense, muscles stiff with frustration. “You really think the way you’ve been acting would ever get you a chance with her? Or with any girl? You left her behind at a restaurant you drove her to when she had no ride back. Now you’re blaming her for not noticing you liked her when you never even told her in the first place. You’re acting like a child. Back off.”
Jeremiah is silent for a while, his glare gradually turning to a smirk. “Want some advice? Lucy doesn’t have time for anything but work. Go find someone else to hook up with.”
Shock rolls through me at the inappropriate comment, followed by a sharp spike of anger. Scott’s eyes flash as he steps forward, his hands balled into fists. He looks ready to punch Jeremiah, who seems to shrink as Scott gets closer.
“Don’t ever make a comment like that again, especially not about Lucy. Got it?” His tone is deadly, jaw clenched. Jeremiah stares back, but less defiant than before. I don’t know what to do or say in this situation, and frankly I’m so angry at Jeremiah I don’t think I should say anything, in case I somehow make all of this even worse.
The door to the office swings open again, breaking the tension and shifting the atmosphere. Scott steps back from Jeremiah. He runs his hand back through his hair, his jaw still clenched. Lunch is over, and more staff are making their way across the parking lot. Those already passing through the door are shooting curious looks our way, sensing the drama in the room.
Jeremiah glances at me one last time, then shakes his head as he shuffles past us on his way to the accountant’s office. The door to the office swings open again, so I quickly hide by turning to face the front desk, hastily swiping at my eyes as I do. I’m really glad Monica isn’t in the office this week.
“Lucy… are you okay?” Macy asks, watching me with concern.
“Yeah, um… yeah, I’m fine.”
A gentle hand lands on my back. I glance up to see Scott standing beside me. I can tell he’s still upset, but his features soften when he looks at me.
“I’m fine. Really,” I repeat, smiling as best I can.
He watches me, not saying anything. He doesn’t believe that I’m fine, and in truth, I’m not, but I don’t want to deal with it right now. Right now I need to get back to work, not break down in front of an audience. I look away and clear my throat.
“I better get back to work,” I say, stepping back from the desk.
“Can I take you to dinner tonight? Dessert?” Scott asks. “Anywhere you want to go.”
It's sweet of him to try to cheer me up, but I’m still reeling. I just got a boyfriend and lost a close friend within the span of thirty minutes, which has made my insides a bit of a mess. Not to mention the fact that I’m completely mortified by everything Jeremiah said and the fact that I have now cried several times in front of the man I just started dating.
“I have a meeting tonight,” I say. “I’ll be at the office late.”
“I can pick you up afterwards. Or drop something off for you?”
“It’s okay,” I shake my head. “Thank you, though.”
Scott frowns, but doesn’t push further. “You can always text me if you need anything. Okay?”
“Thank you.”
He gives me another hug, then I head back to my desk. Scott stays at the front for awhile, chatting with Macy in hushed tones before eventually leaving.
I don’t leave my cubicle for the rest of the day.
I finally log off of the online meeting at fifteen minutes to seven. The professional smile and upbeat demeanor I’d been projecting fades away as I lean my head back and rub my face.
I clean up my desk, taking my empty water glass and mug that's half full of cold coffee to the office kitchen and depositing them in the sink. I pack up my laptop and notebook, doing one last loop around the building to make sure all the lights are off before I set the alarm on my way out.
Scott had texted me just a few minutes before the meeting ended, asking how I’m doing. Once inside my car, I text him back, telling him I’m fine and that I’m going to the gym. He asks me to let him know once I’m done and safely back at home.
He’s really sweet.
I can’t help but think he might be starting to doubt whether dating me is worth it, what with all the drama that’s already happening.
I chew the inside of my cheek as I pull out of the parking lot and glance at my muscleless noodle-arms. I try to go to the gym everyday after work, but mostly to run. I never use the weights or the machines. I only ever use the treadmills. A lot of people hate running (an understandable opinion), but I love it. Something about it really clears my head and helps keep me sane. And right now, I’d like to run off some emotions.
Once I get inside the gym and get changed, I choose a treadmill, popping in my headphones. There are a ton of news channels on the TV’s hanging above the different cardio machines right now, but I always choose the treadmill in front of a TV playing a telenovela. I might not know what they’re saying, but they’re extremely entertaining to watch. Besides, the news is just plain stressful.
I flip through some podcast options, eventually landing on one about emotional health—something I could probably use more of. As I’m running, my mind wanders to Jeremiah, and the things he said. The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and the faster I run. I’m not a mind reader. Why didn’t he ever say anything? And then that comment he made to Scott…
I wince, another jolt of anger and embarrassment surging through my insides, my speed kicking up another notch.
But then my mind wanders off to Scott and how he stood up for me, how concerned he was for me, the gentle texts he sent the rest of the day to cheer me up, and all those thoughts wipe away my frustrations.