Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
cove
“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”
Charles Dickens
Shakes wrack through my body.
I know if I check the mirror, my mauve lipstick will either be horrifyingly smeared or clinging to my teeth from biting my cheeks.
It doesn’t help that the car ride has been silent.
I was forced to sit between Nathaniel and Austin while Harrison rode shotgun, purely to see us off for the next six days.
With my arms banded at my waist, I attempt to make myself smaller to avoid touching either of the men beside me.
The emotions coming from none other than the wise words of Charles Dickens, firing off in my mind some of my favorite quotes and sayings, providing the mental distraction I long for.
All leaning toward the more morbid side of English literature.
Not quite sure this feels similar to the joy you mention, Sir Charles.
But I had to focus on something good. Something familiar. I’m too far from home, and I got myself into this mess. It’s on me to get myself out of it.
The moment Bryan drove us through the large pipe gates with a sign above reading Coleson Ranch, I knew I wouldn’t survive. It’s odd to feel both sick to my stomach yet thrilled to see Stetson after missing him.
Although, he may hate me at the rate I’ve ignored him. But I have my reasons, and knowing I’ll see him makes me terrified I’ll spill all my little secrets and ruin this for my mom.
I can handle being forced to pretend I’m something I’m not for a short period of time. The thing putting my emotions in overdrive is that I’m forced to do that while staying at the home of the man I’m almost certain I’m falling for.
Or at least I really, really like.
A chilling sensation washes over me, replacing my nausea with shame. I can spot Stetson instantly, the window tint doing nothing to mask the man who somehow manages to command a space even silently.
His black cowboy hat rests high upon his head, the same simple Southern style I’ve come to appreciate, spiced up a bit more than usual. A dress button-down replaces his normal white or black tee, and I’m almost positive I spot a hint of color in the muted print.
I wish I were in a position to tell him how handsome he looks.
Leaving him in Chicago left me feeling sore—and I don’t mean my body. Although that, too. My heart felt sore. Like it could predict the pain to come.
Message received.
The car pulls to a stop in front of the dimly lit outdoor space, and it hits me like a ton of bricks that this is Stetson’s home. His ranch. The place he told me about in confidence that means the world to him.
And I can’t even appreciate it.
His smile is bright, and men who seem comfortable around him laugh while sipping beer and enjoying the beauty of the night. It’s Stetson’s fiftieth birthday. He deserves this.
And here I am, about to fuck it all up for him.
His text message from earlier replays in my mind. I had to toss my phone in my clutch and place it at my feet to keep from answering him back.
I wanted to so badly.
Now, I’m destined to watch the man who’s spent the past three months pursuing me consistently, witness me on the arm of another man. Pretending to date another man. A man who sadly isn’t him.
I’m a horrible person. And now I’m just expected to lie to him about it?
I hate to admit it, but a small part of me worries my mom won’t respect me after this. I already hate keeping it from her. But I know nothing will ever be solved without this. Nathaniel’s money.
And he owes me.
Nathaniel waits near the hood of the Rover, an unfamiliar woman chatting him up as he stands there like a robotic statue. What did my mother ever see in him?
Austin whispers in my ear, “Ready for our coming out, princess?” I hold in a gag and smile as fake as possible. “Let’s do this,” I mutter.
I can tell Austin has zero experience reading women, or he’d know right away how uncomfortable I am. I had to use hand gestures and useless conversation to get him chatty enough to take his slimy hand off my leg on the way here.
Bryan opens the car door, and Austin exits, my eyes never leaving Stetson’s in the crowd of party guests. I search the car for my clutch, not realizing it’s in Austin’s hands, before taking a deep breath and sliding across the leather seat as gracefully as possible.
I’m confident the hammering in my chest can be heard by the outside ear. “Play the part, Cove,” I whisper to myself. “A brighter future. A better tomorrow. Persevere.”
And I stand tall, a wide smile cresting my face as I take Austin’s hand and round the car door. Nathaniel stands idle beside us, and everything in me avoids Stetson’s eyes. I know they’re on me. I can feel the heat behind them in my bones.
Bones that are close to giving out.
“And who do we have here, Nate?” the woman who hugged him earlier asks with curiosity. She seems kind, but clearly not expecting us.
Nathaniel clears his throat as a tall and dominating frame in my peripheral closes in. “This is my…daughter, Cove, and her boyfriend, Austin. Austin is a business colleague. I hope it’s alright that they join me, Abigail?”
“Of course,” Abigail sighs happily, her eyes watering a bit as she takes me in. “I didn’t realize…” She stops herself and resets. “Any family of yours is family to us. All are welcome.”
“Nate. My brother.”
God, his voice. He feels even more untouchable since the discovery of him being my asshat of a sperm donor’s best friend. No part of that makes sense, and despite being here with Austin, I have an astronomical number of questions. But I’m in no position to ask them now.
Austin grips my hand tight, and I’m reminded of his comment about Stetson yesterday. I never realized the pedestal people put him on. A stand I know for a fact he despises.
“Happy birthday, Stetson. It’s really good to see you.” Holy shit. I think Nathaniel just smiled.
Stetson pulls him in for a hug and waves off his greeting. “Ah. It’s not till Friday. Although, my dear sister seems to think a week-long celebration is necessary. But I’m grateful. You’ve been a stranger. It’s good to see you, man.”
Nathaniel nods before shifting his attention to Austin and me. I’m eternally thankful the rest of the crowd has since returned to mingling and dancing, leaving less attention on us. “I hope you don’t mind me bringing some guests?” he asks.
And this is where it happens. The moment shame rears its ugly head inside of me. I can’t back down. Austin’s arm finds my lower back, pulling me closer as I switch on my bravest face. It’s when Stetson’s crystal-blue eyes meet mine that I almost deteriorate right here.
I can do this.
“And who might this be?” Stetson’s voice doesn’t waver. His tone is strong, but it’s as if it’s just he and I, Austin a mere dirt pile at his feet.
Nathaniel catches me off guard with his attempt at fatherly affection as he reaches to rest his hand on my shoulder. “This is my daughter, Cove.” It’s clear Stetson didn’t hear our previous introduction to Abigail, as she’s still looking at us in blatant shock.
A sharp inhale resounds without warning, Nathaniel not missing the evident bomb he dropped on his best friend. Do they not know about me? But he’s his best friend, right?
Nathaniel continues without explanation. “And this is Austin. Cove’s boyfriend.” A brown and white dog uses this uncomfortable moment to make itself known at my feet. As if by muscle memory, I reach to pet it, the softness of its coat and licking gives me a sense of comfort.
Stetson’s eyes lower to the dog, and with nothing more than a snap, it rushes to his side obediently.
“Your daughter…” Stetson draws out, finally looking away from where I am to catch Nathaniel’s eyes.
For a man who seems to always maintain composure, he looks restless.
Fighting back an urge to react. “And her boyfriend?” Now, the sharp features I’ve learned to appreciate that only complement his age, shoot near-death daggers at Austin.
Sucks to suck, Austin.
“Nice to meet ya, man. I’ve heard all about you. My princess and I can’t wait to spend the week here.” Austin bites his own tongue.
Something that resembles a smirk lifts at the corner of Stetson’s mouth, and it’s dangerous.
For Austin and all who fail to answer. “Princess, huh?” He makes an unashamed perusal of my body, eyes dragging leisurely from the tips of my heel-clad toes to the top of my raven curled hair. “That’s a pretty fucking princess.”
Oh. My. God.
Austin doesn’t seem bothered, only egged on more. “That’s what I’m sayin’. I picked out the dress. Doesn’t she look stunning?”
He absolutely did not. I have my own style, and I’ll never be caught dead letting someone else decide that for me.
A sage-green and brown bodycon dress clings to my frame from my calves to chest, accentuating every one of my curves.
My hair falls in voluminous curls to the center of my back, and my makeup is natural yet striking.
I may have dressed myself with selfish intention, knowing I’ll get to see Stetson again. Sue me, but I couldn’t help it.
“Now, that is where you’re terribly wrong, Austin. She looks breathtaking. And if I had to guess, perfectly capable of picking out her own clothes.” Stetson’s eyes rise to mine before he holds a hand out to introduce himself. “Stetson Cole.”
I don’t think twice, just reach my hand to conjoin with his, desperate to feel his touch again. “Cove Davenport. Nice ranch.” I smirk.
I wait for the same from him, but he looks away and nods. I know I’m in trouble. Whatever the equivalent of a doghouse is for women, I’m there.
“It’s my family lineage. But you may know that already, no?”
Yep. He’s pissed.
I smile softly, hating myself for all of this. “I’m afraid not.”
Nathaniel claps his hands beside us, pulling me from my sad stupor. “So, is this everyone? Kyle? The kids?”