Chapter 16 #2
Drayton hurried down the back hallway, slipped into Theodosia’s office, and pulled open the back door. And that’s when it all took a hard left into crazy town. Because just as the door sprung open, something—or someone—came hurtling in at him!
Drayton barely had time to utter an abridged, “Whuh?” when a body smacked him with the force of a cannonball and he was rudely knocked flat on his back.
Then someone was directly on top of him, holding him down and punching balled fists into his ribs.
Sharp pain ignited as he was pounded and punched again and again.
Drayton fought to pull himself into a ball to deflect the blows, but couldn’t quite make it.
Then he tried rolling away from the forceful, debilitating punches and calling for help, but the air had been driven from his lungs, making it almost impossible to cry out.
All he managed was a soft croak.
Desperate for oxygen, Drayton twisted and torqued away from his attacker, somehow managing to free an arm and tuck it in front of his body. That helped shield him from some of the painful blows that still rained down. From there he was able to inhale a glut of air and gasp out an audible, “Help!”
Back in the tea shop, Theodosia had just picked up a half-empty teapot when she heard something.
A faint noise. Maybe someone walking by in the alley?
Or at the front door? Hmm? She wasn’t sure what it was until another noise drifted toward her.
“Drayton?” she said, curious but not alarmed since Drayton was known to mumble to himself upon occasion.
“Help!” Drayton’s cry was louder now and sounded anguished.
“Drayton, what?” Theodosia called back. Then she heard a definite commotion, a series of thumps and bumps that could only be…
Drayton’s in some kind of trouble?
Theodosia raced down the back hallway, teapot in hand, only to find…
A man in a brown workman’s jumpsuit, his face covered by a Porky Pig mask, was sprawled atop Drayton, punching him wildly.
The blows rained down on Drayton’s shoulders and jabbed at his ribs.
Except the man’s punches were beginning to slow down—clearly the attacker was starting to get winded—and had turned to wild flailing.
When Theodosia saw Porky Pig beating a helpless Drayton, she didn’t hesitate. With a wind-up worthy of a major-league pitcher, she threw the teapot directly at Porky’s head.
SMASH!
“Owww!” A wild howl rose up from Drayton’s attacker. He immediately quit punching and rolled away, grabbing his injured head with both hands.
“Get him!” Drayton cried as he scrambled away, seeking shelter under Theodosia’s desk.
Theodosia looked around, saw a broom leaning against the wall, and grabbed it.
Wielding it like a broadsword, she whacked the broom against Porky’s head, giving him a solid smack as he fought to scramble to his feet.
Still on his knees and breathing hard, Porky glared at Theodosia as she bashed him again, trying to dislodge his mask so she could see who this crazy intruder was.
That was enough for Porky. Gasping loudly, he pushed himself to his feet, then hunched forward.
Lurching out the back door, he swung left and headed down the alley, running for his life.
Theodosia stayed hard on his heels, shouting at him and waving her broom, but ten seconds later the man had spun around the corner of the building and was out of sight.
Theodosia knew she should call 911, but first she had to make sure Drayton was okay, that he was actually breathing and not bleeding to death. Rushing back inside, she dropped to her hands and knees and plucked at the back of Drayton’s jacket.
“Drayton, Drayton, are you okay?” Theodosia shouted. She was worried sick about his heart, his ribs, and most of all his breathing.
Hearing her cries, Drayton slowly rolled over, both hands shielding his eyes. Then he took one hand away and peeked at her. “What just happened?” he asked in a croaky voice.
“You opened the back door and somebody attacked you,” Theodosia said.
“Porky Pig?”
“Yes, I think so. At least that was the mask he was wearing. How are you feeling? Where does it hurt?”
“I think maybe…maybe I’m just a little stunned,” Drayton managed to cough out. Then he tried to sit up. Halfway up, Drayton grimaced and clutched his right side. “Drat, my ribs are burning like fire.”
There was a loud clatter as Haley came pounding down the back stairs from her upstairs apartment. Teacake, her orange-and-black cat, was cradled protectively in her arms.
“I heard a terrible commotion!” Haley cried. Then she saw Drayton still sprawled on the floor. “Whoa. What the heck happened to you?”
“Drayton was attacked,” Theodosia said.
“No way!” Haley shouted.
Drayton gave a faint wave. “Not to worry, I’ll live.”
“But who…?” Haley was practically at a loss for words.
“When I opened the back door, someone in a Porky Pig mask jumped me and knocked me down,” Drayton said. “Started beating on me like I was his personal bass drum.”
“The guy was wearing a Porky Pig mask?” Haley said. “That’ll for sure give you nightmares.”
“Haley,” Theodosia said, “help me get him up.”
Haley set down her cat and helped Theodosia lift Drayton to his feet. “You feel dizzy?” she asked.
“I feel stupid,” Drayton said, “opening the door to some crazy person like that. I should have my head examined.”
“You should have your ribs examined,” Theodosia said. It was apparent that Drayton winced with every breath he took.
“Can you take him to the ER?” Haley asked. “Maybe get an X-ray?” She reached down and picked up her cat.
“I think that’s a smart idea,” Theodosia said.
“No, no, I’m fine,” Drayton protested. “Just shaken up.”
“Then how come you’re all crumpled over?” Haley asked.
Drayton looked surprised. “I am?”
Both women nodded at him. Even the cat gave Drayton a questioning look.
“You look like you’re auditioning for a remake of The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” Haley said.
“Give me a minute while I straighten”—Drayton let out a high-pitched squeak as he tried to unbend his body—“up.”
“Nice try,” Haley said. “You just hit high C. Now for an encore…”
A sudden knock at the back door caused them all to jump.
Haley let go of Drayton’s arm and tiptoed to the door. She looked out the side window and said, “Relax. It’s just my delivery from Glaser’s Restaurant Supply.”
The real delivery guy had finally shown up.
“Got a package you need to sign for,” the delivery guy said when she opened the door. He indicated a large package sitting on the ground, then held out his clipboard. As Haley jotted her name, the delivery guy gazed at Drayton and said, “Hey, man, you don’t look so good.”
“You see?” Theodosia said.
“Yeah,” Haley said as she handed the pen and clipboard back to the delivery guy. “When some random dude says you don’t look so good, maybe it’s time to get a professional opinion.”