Chapter 47
Forty-Seven
A good brownie...
I’m not a good brownie. - Arienna
My vagina is still uncertain, but my ass frickin’ loves me. Who knew that anal could feel so good?
I hurry into the bedroom. Dropping to my knees, I check under the bed. No Fabia. And no bottle of poison. Thank the gods.
Sighing with relief, I lift my head and crawl onto the mattress. But just as I’m about to draw the covers up and fall asleep, my eyes snag on the closet door.
It’s open a crack, when earlier, it was completely closed.
A horrible feeling settling in my stomach, I walk towards it. My hand reaches out. Twists the knob.
Swinging the door open, I find Fabia crouched inside, poorly hidden amongst the black suits. Gods, Ajax wasn’t joking when he said Richard’s entire fashion sense centres around black armour with pockets.
Shaking that thought aside, I focus back on Fabia. “What are you still doing here?” I whisper harshly.
“Me? What took you so long to get here? I said one hour.”
“I was hoping you’d be gone by the time we came in.” Glancing over my shoulder, making sure Richard isn’t about to come in, I lower my voice some more. “I don’t want to kill him.”
“What? Arienna, this was your idea.” She sucks in a breath, struggling to control her volume. “You practically begged me to give you some poison.”
“I did not,” I protest. “You volunteered. Very quickly, might I add.”
“Because you were already trying to kill him.”
“But not really,” I say, ignoring how lame that excuse sounds even to me. “I kind of just fed him cake.”
Fabia rolls her eyes. “With the plan to butter him up to poison him. Or more likely, knowing you, waiting until he accidentally died of obesity. But whatever. It doesn’t matter.
” She crosses her arms. “Because he’s still planning on killing you, so I’m sorry if you got attached, but if it’s between him or you, I’m choosing you every time. ”
“Fabia, you’ll get charged with treason!”
“Not if it works.”
“But it won’t! I didn’t even bring any cake with me.”
She looks away.
But she doesn’t look worried.
My gut flips around, then shoots up into my throat, shouldering my heart hard in the process. “What did you put it in?” I ask, my voice trembling, my hands shaking. “Fabia, where is it?”
“This is for your own good.”
Reaching into the closet, I grab her shoulders. “Tell me where it is!” I hiss, anger and desperation pouring out of me.
But they bounce off the wall of her stubbornness.
Realising she’ll never tell me, torn between outing her and saving Richard, tears burn my eyes.
Shoving her back into the closet, I race into the kitchenette and start opening up the cupboards.
I pull out everything that’s already open and throw it in the rubbish bin.
Anything she could have contaminated, I toss out.
“What are you doing?” Richard asks as he strolls out of the bathroom, his towel around his waist, smelling of fresh minty toothpaste.
“I saw roaches.” Trembling, I throw out a whole box of unopened cereal.
“They’ve probably laid their eggs in all this.
We have to get rid of it just to be sure.
” Opening the mini-fridge, I pull out the leftover cake that I made.
Guilt crushes my shoulders. This is all my fault. I never should have told Fabia.
“Arienna,” he begins, but he doesn’t finish his sentence. Reaching out a hand for the breakfast bar, he sits down on one of the stools.
“I’m not crazy,” I say, pulling everything out and tossing it. The bin gets full all too quickly. “I really saw a roach.”
I refuse to look at him, refuse to let him see the tears rolling down my face because he’ll know then. He’ll know that all I’ve been doing these past few days is trying to kill him – just like everyone else.
“Because trust –having yours and giving you mine– that is the biggest thrill for me.”
And of course it would be. Who does he trust in this life? Jace and Nicholas. That’s it. Everyone else is out to kill him, and I can’t be one of those people. I can–
A hard thump stops me cold.
My blood drains from my face –from my whole body it seems– as I turn towards him.
Or rather, towards where he was sitting.
The breakfast bar is empty.
His stool is lying flat on the floor.
Next to his body.
I drop the milk I’m holding. It sprays all across the floor as I scramble over to his side. “No. No, no, no, no, no.”
Grabbing his shoulders, I shake him.
He doesn’t react.
Pressing my head against his naked chest, I listen for a heartbeat.
The softest thump.
Anything at all.
There is nothing.
Just silence.
I have killed my king.
No! An unholy noise rips through the air. Monstrous and cruel, it bounces around the room, tainting everything with its darkness. Snuffing out all the light and happiness, it overwhelms me, suffocates me.
And then I realise it’s coming from me.
My lungs. My heart.
Broken.
Shattered.
Guilt-wracked.
Empty.
Trembling, I clamp my jaw shut.
I refuse to accept this.
I won’t.
When I shake him harder though, he doesn’t wake up.
Desperate, I slap his face. Hard.
Pain shoots up my arm.
Still, he does not move.
“No!”
Tears run down my face. Pinching his nose shut, I take a deep breath and place my lips over his. Exhaling, I fill his lungs. Breathing deep, I do it again. I’ll breathe for him. I have to. He can’t be dead because of me.
“Jace, stop her!” Fabia yells. “There can still be traces of poison on his mouth!”
Strong arms wrap around me. I’m lifted into the air.
“Get off me!” I pull at his fingers. Wrapping mine around his thumb, I yank it the wrong way, desperate for him to release me.
Crack!
I look at the backwards finger in horror. My stomach revolts as I release his thumb. I didn’t want to hurt him. Just like I didn’t want to hurt Richard, and yet, I’ve done both.
“Stop, Arienna. Just calm –”
“I need to bring him back!” Slamming my head against his chest, I hit him over and over again.
“Bring him back?” Fabia shouts. “You can’t bring him back!”
My nails scrape into his skin. “Yes, I can. I read about it before. I just need to pinch his nose and –”
“Pinch? That’s for someone who can’t breathe!”
“And he can’t!”
“No, I mean – Oh, for fuck’s sake, Arienna.” My best friend appears in front of me. My ex-best friend. Her eyes are full of pain but not regret. How could she have done this? How could she have done this to me?
“I used anguku poison,” she says sternly. “It’s quick and painless, but irreversible. You can’t bring him back.”
Trembling in Jace’s arms, I cry, “But necromancers do it all the time.”
“Necromancers put a bit of their own soul into the corpse. It’s not the same thing.”
“So what are you saying?” I ask frantically. “I just need to put his cum back inside him?”
“What? No. Their own –” She shakes her head. “How are you even equating a soul to cum?”
“Cum makes babies! Babies have souls.” I don’t have time to explain this. Necromancy needs the body to still be warm to work, I think. I have no idea how long that gives me, and I’ve never attempted necromancy before. I need time to get it right.
I have to get it right.
When my feet touch the ground –Jace having released me– I collapse to the floor. Crawling on my hands and knees, I make it to Richard’s side. I place my hands on his chest, feeling for warmth.
“What are you doing?” Fabia hisses. “Why did you let her go?”
The jacket! I need the jacket.
“I figured she might as well try.”
“You know it won’t work.”
Ignoring them, I race into the bathroom and pick the jacket up off the floor.
Shuffling it in my hands, I try to find the wet smears, praying that they aren’t all crusty yet.
I’ve never timed how long it takes for semen to dry before.
What if it has been left too long? Does the soul disappear when the cum is no longer viable?
How do I not know how long cum can last outside the body?
My shoulders bow forward in relief when I finally find the clumps I’m looking for. Except they are already crusty. No! It doesn’t matter. I have to try.
“Arienna, stop. You have to accept he’s gone!”
Kneeling beside him, I pray that this will work. I don’t want to think about a future without him. He’s my lifemate, I think. But I love him – and I know that for sure. “So what do I do?” I whisper hoarsely. “Do I just put it in his mouth?”
“I’m no necromancer,” Jace drawls, “but that sounds right to me.”
Trembling, I place the jacket in Richard’s mouth and drag it across his tongue. “Come on,” I pray. “Come on, come on, come on. Hel, Venir Goddess of Death, if you give him back to me, I promise I will sing your praises for as long as I live.”
“I think you need to give him some more,” Jace says.
Pulling the jacket out, I realise the splodge of cum is gone. Shifting it around, I scrape another clump onto his tongue. Tears rain down my cheeks. The world blurs. He blurs. This has to work.
Why isn’t it working?
“You mother fucker,” Fabia says slowly as I try a third time, my hands shaking. “He’s not dying, is he? That’s why you’re just standing there and why we’re not dead yet.”
My head jerks up.
My heart grabs hold of her words.
“He’s not?” I breath, praying it’s true.
Jace smiles, but it is heartless and cold. “No.”
I blink. I don’t understand. “Then why isn’t he moving?”
“Because it knocked him out. She must have used a hel of a dosage, way more than the necessary amount.”
I pull the jacket out of his mouth and lean down to check his pulse. My head on his chest, I hear nothing.
And then – there.
A slow thump.
A sign of life.
Holding him tight, I cry, “I don’t understand. Why let me try my hand at necromancy then?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to until you mentioned putting cum in his mouth.” He shrugs. “The fucker ate my cake; I wasn’t going to pass the opportunity up.”
“Opportunity…?” He’s insane. This is insane.
“How did you know we’d poison him?” Fabia asks, her voice a lot stronger than mine.
“What else were you going to do? Get close enough to stab him?” He shakes his head, then pierces me with a stare. “I knew you were planning on killing him from the moment I learned about the wasps. So I made sure any plans you ‘thought up’ were ones I approved of.”
The disappointment in his eyes cuts me down like wheat at harvest time. Caving in on myself, I wrap my arms tight around my waist and try to breathe.
He turns to Fabia. “And I swapped out all of your poisons with another – one he’s immune to. Did you really think I wouldn’t recognise them when I had them boxed up and brought back?”
“But why not just leave them there?” I ask, wiping at my tears. “Why go through all this?” Why hurt us like this?
His words, although soft, make me flinch. “Because he’s been targeted all his life by everyone he knows. The Court tries to kill him constantly. I just really hoped you would be different.”
“I didn’t want this,” I whisper, my voice ragged and raw.
“But it happened.”
“Because he was going to kill her!” Fabia shouts as tears rain down my cheeks and drown any defence I have.
“No, he wasn’t.”
She snorts in disbelief. “We know the decision is not his to make. It’s the Court’s, and they –”
“Were tricked by Richard into dropping all charges.”
I suck in a ragged breath. My hands cover my mouth. It was for nothing. All of this, this heartache, was for nothing.
Knowing this will be the last time I see any resemblance of peace on my king while I’m in his presence, I run my eyes over his face. Searing it into memory. This moment, despite all the pain, will be infinitely better than what I will face when he wakes.
When he learns what I’ve done.
When he looks at me as if I’m just another enemy.
When he treats me with the coldness I deserve.
“So what happens now?” Fabia asks, but I don’t care.
Execute me or not, I am already dead.
My life is over.
I killed it.
Jace’s voice sounds so far away. “When he wakes up, he will decide if he wants to charge you with treason.”