Dawn is the End #2
There was no way they’d find me not guilty. There were tons of witnesses to every crime he had listed, including the king and queen.
And Varyn. Traitorous bystander Varyn.
It was odd how detached I felt from my impending death.
Maybe after losing Nella, I’d lost the crucial ability to give a shit about anything except revenge.
And it seemed I wouldn’t even get that. That made me angry, but as the hours passed, I found I cared less and less.
I wouldn’t be able to kill the ones responsible for so much misery, but I doubted I would care in the afterlife, if I even got one.
Maybe I was destined for the hellish realm of damnation for an eternity of punishment.
But what could possibly be done to me that’s worse than what I’d endured in this life in the living realm?
So cold, indifferent detachment was all I felt. I decided too that I would die with as much dignity as possible—I wouldn’t go out kicking and screaming and begging. No, I would go out with my middle finger firmly up and pointed at the crown.
Knowing how much time I had left would have been nice, though.
“And what of the castle’s mortal servants? Did the murderer kill them all or just the ones that annoyed him that night?” I yelled over to the guards. They, at least, seemed willing to talk to me. It was worth a shot.
I didn’t expect them to answer, but it still felt good to siphon some of my anger off by insulting the king.
“I can’t say, ma’am,” Ponytail said, his voice slightly echoing from where he stood.
I snorted. “Ma’am? What, is this some kind of psychological trick? Trying to make me feel like I’m not a caged animal before executing me like an animal?”
“Is ma’am not what you’d call the one engaged to the crown prince?” Ponytail’s voice was quieter. He must have been asking the other guard, because the question made no sense to me whatsoever.
My heart plummeted. Varyn was engaged? Was it to the busty female that he’d danced with at the ball? The thought made my blood inexplicably hot.
He could marry whomever he wished; it was never going to be me, anyway. It had been a stupid fairytale that I had done my best, and failed, not to envision.
“I think so,” came the quiet, delayed response of the second guard.
“So that makes you a ‘ma’am’ as Varyn’s fiancée.”
“Wait…me? What are you talking about? I’m not… He didn’t…”
“King and queen announced it shortly after the ball,” said Ponytail, a slight bitterness to his tone.
No way. There was no way. Why would the king and queen say I was engaged to Varyn? He had betrayed me. He felt nothing for me. He definitely had wanted nothing from me other than sex.
What would the royals gain from lying to the continent about this? I knew there was a game of politics, but it made no sense. And I wasn’t sure how to feel.
I grew more uneasy with each passing thought.
I was angry that the world believed me to be engaged to a male who betrayed me, especially as I sat, rotting in a dungeon awaiting my execution.
But more than the anger, there was a fear that I was missing something big here.
They wouldn’t have created this ruse for nothing…
My uneasy thoughts followed me into sleep.
* * *
I didn’t know when it would be, but I knew judgment day was coming.
“Noxie, I know you can’t speak to me, but I hope somehow you can hear me.
I learned a couple of days ago that I am to die by public execution after a trial, and they won’t tell me when it will be.
Turns out you were wrong, by the way, when you told me I didn’t have a drop of magic in my heart.
Turns out I have a lot. Enough to be elemental, Veythryn and Umbrathren.
If the queen is to be believed… I wonder if I’ll ever know what my vey form is.
I’m not thrilled that I’m fae, but I do wish I had time to figure out what I am and what I can do.
“And I guess this officially makes you my Familiar now that my fae heart is free. That’s what Malvina said too.
Not the Familiar part, the fae heart part.
It was apparently bound to a mortal heart, so that’s why nobody knew I was fae.
So anyway, I’m sorry we didn’t get more time, Noxie.
You were annoying, but you were a friend.
A good friend. And I hope, somehow, I’ll see you before I… go.”
As expected, I got nothing in return, felt nothing come from where our connection used to twinge with his emotions in my chest. I would miss that pesky bird. He’d been the only one in my life that came along and chose to stay. Nella was family, but he had a choice. And he chose me.
“Nella,” I said out loud, down on my knees in my cell as if praying, “I’m so damn sorry I couldn’t save you.
And that I couldn’t avenge you in this life.
But I swear I will find you in the Vale, if that’s where we go.
And we’ll stay together forever in a place where all the shit the living realm dealt us can’t get to.
No Cassius, no Aemilia, no hunger. A place where you can watch Halden from above, because I know you loved him.
I saw it in your eyes, and in his. It’s so fucking cruel that you didn’t get the time you deserved with him.
You deserved so much more than this life gave you.
And more than I gave you. I tried so hard, Nella, I hope you know that.
It will eternally kill me that you didn’t even get a burial or a funeral or anything. ”
I had started crying at some point, realizing my face was soaked with tears. I heard a small cough come from where the guards were stationed.
“Listen all you want,” I snapped. “I don’t care! I’ll fucking find both of you when I’m dead and haunt you ’til the days you die, which are days I’m so looking forward to!”
Nothing.
It wasn’t the guards that made me so mad, not really. It was that, in my final days, I would get no privacy to mourn my death or to make my amends.
* * *
It was several sleeps later before I got my next visit. I woke to find a large blonde male standing at the bars of my cage, just watching me.
But before I could even get angry about the invasion, I saw one strong arm ending in a bandaged stump, and I smiled.
“Ambassador, how’s that hand treating you?
Bet magic is tough to cast with only one hand.
Hope it really hurts and inconveniences you.
” I wasn’t sure if casting magic was actually more complicated with only one hand, but I didn’t care.
I wanted to say something to siphon some of my rage off onto someone else.
“Your concern is touching, Naci, really. I’ll be sure and speak a few words over your dead body at your execution.” He looked positively thrilled at the thought.
“What do you want, Ambassador?”