Somewhere New #2
“Look, I can’t figure out for the life of me why you wanted to rescue me, and I probably don’t even know half of the lies the king spread about me.
Even though I was forced to say and do those things, if they were a detriment to the rebellion, then I’m sorry.
I put my sister first in my choices, and if that’s why you choose to hate me, then I understand.
” I swallowed. Once I started, I couldn’t stop.
“I just…wanted you to know that. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for her. ”
He visibly relaxed, which made me breathe easier. Maybe this was actually getting us somewhere. I just wished he would say more.
He took a calculated sip of his wine, then said the words that finally made me relax. “I don’t blame you.”
I nearly sighed my relief. But I was Naci Corren, and I’d had too much wine. “Then why are you such an ass to me?” I just couldn’t hold my tongue.
He barked out a laugh, and the smile on his face was exquisite, giving me involuntary and unwanted flutters low in my stomach. He was beautiful with all the sharp angles of his jaw and cheeks and his warm eyes, the color of honey, but gods, he was devastating when he smiled.
The grin remained as he got up and prowled around the table toward me like a predator stalking its prey. Next to my seat, he stopped and leaned against the table crossing his ankles and looking down at me from above.
I audibly gulped, and I prayed he hadn’t heard.
“Are you nervous?”
I guess he had…
“No, why would I be?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible.
“You tell me.” He crossed his arms again, the epitome of laid-back, both intimidating and sexy.
“If I were, maybe it would be because I don’t know when you’ll go back to rudely barking orders at me or giving me the silent treatment or—”
“Or manhandling you,” he remarked with a smirk, in the most sultry way possible.
Oh, this male knew precisely what he was doing. It was all I could do to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. What in the gods’ names was he doing? Hating me one minute, getting too close with that…that smile the next.
When I couldn’t come up with anything to say, my mind reeling, he uncrossed his arms and leaned down close to my face, eye to eye, stealing the breath from my lungs.
“For that, Naci Corren, I would like to apologize,” he breathed, close enough for me to feel the warmth on my lips. “I didn’t think you would follow if I asked, and for the sake of time, carrying you was the best option. If I was…too rough, then I am sorry.”
Gods, I wanted to tell him to be as rough as he wanted with me, but somewhere in my mind I knew that was a bad idea, that it was the wine talking. I hated that the thought even crossed my mind. His eyes were still on mine, and I could see the challenge in them as heat built in my chest.
“Tell me why you wanted to get me out of Ashthorn.”
His face changed instantly, seeming almost scared of the answer. Or scared to tell me; I wasn’t sure which. When he backed away from me, it felt like the temperature dropped in the room, like a block of ice now stood between us.
“You’re not ready to know,” he said, just as cold as the surrounding tension.
“You mean you’re not ready to tell me.”
He paused. “You should get some sleep. It’s late.”
“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Frustration had replaced desire.
I headed into my room without another word, closing the door quickly behind me and finally exhaling, my heart racing.
I was glad he didn’t blame me, but now I was conflicted.
We’d been open with each other for a moment, and his guard had come down, but he was keeping something from me.
Until I knew what it was, I needed to be careful.
No longer would I blindly trust. I would not repeat the mistakes I made with Varyn, no matter how Drayce made my stomach flutter.
I knew deep down that no matter how attractive Drayce was, Varyn was still on my mind.
And by no stretch of the imagination was I ready to be with anyone, no matter what the involuntary flutters made me feel.
As hard as I tried, forgetting the prince was impossible so soon.
When I wasn’t actively trying to shut out the memories from Ashthorn, sometimes I saw him smile and wink, other times I saw the mask of indifference he wore at my trial.
When everyone thought I was already dead, and he couldn’t even spare a glance.
My fists and jaw clenched. Never again. I could never risk it all again for a male.
Because if I were being completely honest with myself, everything that led to Nella’s death was my fault. I had trusted Varyn without question, even when it didn’t make sense. Noxie had warned me, implored me to be smart.
But I hadn’t been, and because I trusted easily, my Nella was dead. During my time in my cell, I had raged and grieved, but I hadn’t faced the guilt yet.
Tonight, as I laid in a warm bed and her cold body rested gods only knew where, I let the tears fall. Let the grief come sharply back and the guilt consume me.
Never again.
* * *
We avoided each other for the next three days until he approached me on the upper deck to tell me we would make land the next day.
“You’ll get your first look at Elyndor before nightfall,” he said.
I forgot to be mad at him. I was suddenly too excited.
“Hear that, Noxie? We’re close,” I said to the crow as Aerie’s massive, winged form came swooping in from the sky to land on the deck beside me in her fae form.
It amazed me every time she did that. And I was super jealous, if I were being honest. It must be so freeing to fly among the clouds, to go wherever you like, anytime you wanted.
“Yep, just saw the port city of Fallorian,” she chimed in, slipping on the clothing she’d left up here. I had grown used to the nakedness of her transformation back to fae by now.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” Drayce said moodily before heading back down to the main deck from which he’d come.
Aerie rolled her eyes at him but moved on. “Just wait ’til you see Elyndor. It just feels different from Ashenholt. Ashenholt is all…cold and oppressed feeling. Elyndor feels wild and free. And in my humble and biased opinion, the land itself is far more beautiful.”
It was then that I realized how much warmer it was on the deck than it had been when we left Ashenholt. We must have been moving south. The climate here was hotter and more humid in winter than I was used to.
I couldn’t wait. I never did like the cold, but I had grown used to it.
“And is the base in Fallorian?”