Tomorrow Never Came
He had to be joking.
“I can see you’re surprised. But I would like to keep you closer for your safety. Surely, after last night, you can understand why.”
“What if I say no?” Having Drayce as a roommate was…concerning. I’d at minimum need to stay away from wine. I’d come dangerously close last time to crossing a line I knew I shouldn’t cross with this male.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “You can say no. But I would ask that you stay here and give it a few days’ thought. I have to leave for a mission, so you’ll have the place to yourself starting tonight.”
“What about the optics? Won’t people…talk?” I walked over to the dining room table and leaned back against it.
“I didn’t realize you were one to care about optics.”
“Well, at this point, nearly the entire base hates me, so not trying to give them any more fuel by shacking up with their leader and receiving preferential treatment.”
“Since I’m their leader, as you pointed out, they’ll go with what I say. And I say that you’re staying. That is, if you consent.”
I crossed my arms, not seeing how this solved anything with the rebels.
“I’ll stay for now until you get back. If I consent, there will be ground rules.”
He laughed and threw his hands up in submission. “Naturally. You can take the room down the hall on the left. Make yourself at home and try not to burn the place down. It’s not much, but I’ve grown fond of it over the years.”
I summoned a ball of fire the size of my fist in one hand. “But I enjoy playing with fire.” Gods, Naci, stop flirting…
He shook his head with a sharp-toothed smile and headed toward the front door, but paused before he opened it, hand already outstretched for the knob. “You know, I think I forgot something.”
He turned and walked toward me, taking slow, deliberate steps, keeping his eyes glued to mine. The closer he got, the more I had to lean my head back to hold his sultry stare, making my neck and ears grow hot. He stopped mere inches from me, close enough that if he leaned down, we would…
Gods, was a kiss what he forgot? Was Drayce going to kiss me?
He slowly leaned down toward me, making me take in a sharp breath, the flames extinguishing from my hand.
“Don’t want to leave without this…” His lips were a breath away from mine as he reached behind me…
And grabbed a rolled-up map from the table while giving me a devilish smile, then stood up once more.
What a motherfucker. It felt like a bucket of ice had been dumped into my stomach.
He headed back toward the door, and when he opened it, Kaelor was there.
“What’s got you grinning like a schoolboy, Dray?”
“Let’s move,” was Drayce’s only reply. With a glance back at me over his shoulder, he was gone.
Gods, this male was frustrating, but I knew one thing for sure now.
I had wanted him to kiss me.
* * *
Since I hadn’t finished my books for Sevrin yet, I had nowhere I needed to be until dinner, so I settled myself in the bedroom Drayce had pointed out.
The room was larger than the one Nella and I shared in Briarstead, and it was the first time I’d ever had a room to myself other than my cell in Ashthorn’s dungeon.
I’d, for sure, give Drayce a hard time when he got back about me staying here, but this room alone made it worth it.
The bed was perfectly made and twice as wide as my bunk in the barracks, complete with small tables on either side. A mirror taller than me was propped up in the corner next to a chest of drawers, a plush chair in the opposite corner pulled out from under a wooden desk.
This room was nothing short of amazing. I lay down on the bed and found it was spongy and soft, and the pillows smelled faintly of something vaguely familiar. Like the salty ocean and something smoky. I guessed I’d smelled it in the port town of Fallorian when we arrived in Elyndor.
The room was comfortable, with the rug and bedding in varying shades of light green and beige. I slipped off my boots, burrowed under the covers, and opened the book on glythyrs, back resting against the wooden headboard.
After only a few pages, my mind started wandering away from glythyrs. I was in Drayce’s house unattended—I didn’t want to be nosy but…
I thought for a minute, tapping a finger on the page I hadn’t retained a single word of, and made up my mind.
I hopped out of bed and went back into the living area.
There wasn’t much out here, but I started looking through the drawers and cabinets by the small couch, mainly finding books and parchment.
But the kitchen was a whole different story.
I found bottled spices and herbs, various knives and utensils, dried rice, and so many other things that meant I could cook!
On one side of the sink was a bowl of fresh fruit, and on the other was a bowl of vegetables.
With a smile wider than the rolling pin I’d found, I opened the cold storage box to find meats, cheeses, and a glass bottle of some fizzy, golden-colored liquid.
I was practically bouncing. I was so excited to be in a kitchen full of food and means to cook. Surely Drayce wouldn’t mind. If I made myself food here, it would mean I didn’t have to go to the mess hall, and the whole point in my staying here was to be safe, right?
That was all it took to convince me as I set to work.
I’d had dinner right before I got here, but I was too excited not to make something.
I had loved cooking growing up. Often, Nella and I wouldn’t eat if I didn’t.
But I’d never had so much to cook with. Giddy was the understatement of the century.
So I filled a pot with water and potatoes, set it on the grate, lit the fire underneath (with my magic for the first time!), and started chopping tomatoes and peppers.
While the potatoes boiled, I mashed the tomatoes in another pot and began a stew, adding the peppers, some spices, herbs, and crumbles of the sharp-smelling cheese.
Once the potatoes were soft, I spread them onto a plate and spooned some of the vegetable stew on top.
But it wasn’t done—the meal needed meat.
I found a small slab of red meat, threw it in a pan with some spices, lit it on fire, and watched it for a few minutes as the outside turned brown and charred.
Once done, I placed it on top of the mound of stew and mashed potatoes.
I stood admiring my handiwork before remembering the bottle of bubbly liquid in cold storage. I poured myself a glass, and when I sniffed it, the bubbles dancing on the surface tickled my nose. And that first sip…was divine. It was crisp and fruity, and I found the bubbles pleasant.
I savored every sip and bite, thinking that this must be the best meal I’d ever had in my life. And after another glass of bubbly drink, I felt the beginnings of a slight buzz in my head.
It was definitely bubbly wine. I’d only ever had wines that were dark red, but I had heard of light-yellow or gold-colored wines too. But never ones that bubbled and fizzed. But I liked it very much.
And after glass three, I simply didn’t care about the mass of dirty pots and pans in the kitchen.
I’d get to those tomorrow. Much to my delight, I found the bottle of golden wine continuously refilling.
The glythyr on the bottle must have been the same as the one on the barrel on the ship here—sneaky Drayce.
Carrying my glass with me, I walked around the rest of the house exploring, feeling more full and content than ever.
There wasn’t much else to see. No paintings on the walls or personal items other than books.
So I ended up back in my new bedroom, where I spied my mother’s journal on the side table.
I took a deep breath and decided—or rather the wine decided for me—that it was time to read it. I would commit to reading Sevrin’s books tomorrow. This felt more important in the moment.
So I curled up under the covers once more and opened the journal, feeling an immediate wave of happiness and sadness wash over me. This wouldn’t be easy, but I was ready.
After weeks crouched in the below-deck storage of that nasty, fish-smelling shit hole of a boat, I finally arrived in Elyndor today.
Gods, this really was my mom. I was really reading her thoughts and seeing her handwriting. She talked and cursed just the same as me, and it made me smile.
I found an inn here to rest before I start my search for the rebels. They have to be close.
I still can’t shake the obsession with this rebellion. I know it’s real, and I know it needs my help to accomplish the mission: end Caedryn’s reign and restore balance between mortals and fae. I’ve been obsessed with this thought for so long now, as if it burrowed into my brain like a worm.
I still think of the night I left Cassius and my little Ignacia. It hurt so badly to leave in the night without saying goodbye, but this obsession just wouldn’t let me go. I’d convinced myself that by leaving them, I could shape a better world for my little girl, and it would be my sacrifice.
I’d also known Cassius would never understand if I’d tried to tell him about what I wanted to do.
Of course, once I’m established with the rebellion, I’ll go back for Cassius and Naci and explain everything, bring them with me. But I couldn’t risk traveling with them now, without knowing where I was going.
So here I am, wondering if I’m the world’s worst mother and wife for leaving behind a home full of so much love. But I must press on. I will see them soon.
This entry caused so many conflicting emotions. I wasn’t sure what to focus on, so I flipped to the next entry, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.