Seventy-Two Deaths
My mother died on that mission, beheaded by Caedryn.
Tears poured down my cheeks to join the spilled wine on the table.
I didn’t understand it yet, but something had been influencing her, pushing her away from me and drawing her here.
Every time she got close to coming back and straying away from this rebellion, she got sucked back in.
With a shiver, I wondered if there was any dark magic that could do this.
Because I knew now, without a doubt, that my mother loved Cassius and me and had never wanted to leave. I’d asked myself this question so many times throughout my life, and I finally had the answers, even if there was something amiss. She’d loved me.
I could never forgive the way Cassius treated and abused me, how he neglected Nella. But a small part of me felt bad for him. He never knew what I know now. He just woke up one morning to find his wife gone and himself alone with a baby.
Maybe one day I’d go back to Briarstead, when Caedryn was dead, and tell Cassius this.
The rest of the anger left my body, leaving me emotionally drained and exhausted.
So I cleaned up the spilled wine, stacked the dishes in the sink, and dragged myself to bed after a quick stop at the bathroom.
My final foggy thoughts as I laid in bed were on the mystery that was Nella and Aemilia’s mother.
She was to blame for the unraveling of my family.
She had to be. And when I figured out who she was, she would be added to my list, second only to Caedryn.
I’d walk every part of Caelia to find this female if I had to, to get justice for my family.
* * *
I woke the next morning, thanking the gods for my newly fae nature to aid in faster healing. My head hurt slightly from the wine, but I knew, as a mortal, my head would have been absolutely pounding.
I shuffled toward the bathroom but paused in the hallway. I hadn’t realized it last night, but there were only two doors off this hallway: one was the bedroom I was occupying, and the other was the bathroom. There were no other rooms in this house…
So, where exactly did Drayce plan to sleep when he got back if I stayed?
Gods, it hit me like a boulder. I ran back into the bedroom and opened the drawers to find male clothing. This was Drayce’s room.
When I asked him where he wanted me to stay, he’d said, “Here. With me.”
He’d meant literally sharing a room, a bed with him?!
Oh, he was getting an earful when he got back. He’d lost his damn mind. No way.
Absolutely not, right? I’d have to ponder that later. I couldn’t be late for training. Maybe my time with Garrick would make me strong enough to kick Drayce’s ass for this.
I dressed in a hurry to get to my workout. I was actually looking forward to training with Garrick today to blow off some steam. He was a hardass, but he wasn’t mean. Just a little…pushy.
“Morning, Garrick, sir!”
He looked stunned at the enthusiastic greeting then gave me a terse nod.
During our run, thoughts kept swirling about in my head—did I stay, or did I leave? My mother seemingly hadn’t had a choice, but I did. I’d be damned if having a choice was ever taken from me again.
Did I stay and fight, taking the same path my mother took that led to her death? Remain in a community that despised and feared me? Endanger them with my shadow explosions that I couldn’t control?
Or did I leave to fend for myself once I had the fail-safe magic-blocking ring? Figure out my own way into Ashthorn and prevent any…casualties here. I didn’t plan on surviving after my mission was complete. Maybe it would be easier not to tie myself here.
I still wasn’t sure, but whether I stayed or left, I knew I needed to get stronger, so on I ran.
And on I trained for the next four days—my body, my mind, and my fire magic. I worked as hard as I could every day in my workouts with Garrick and in my combat magic with Bramick by day, reading on and on through Sevrin’s books by evening and night.
I was learning and growing so fast that when Drayce walked through the door on that fourth day, he just stood in the doorway and looked me up and down from where I sat at the dining table.
“Something’s…different,” he said.
I got up from my seat and walked toward where he was planted in the door frame.
“Could it be the fact that I’m lifting weights now and growing massive muscles at an alarming rate?
” He raised an eyebrow. “Or that my brain is growing in my skull from the vast knowledge I’ve gained since I’ve been here?
” He smirked. “No, I don’t think it’s those things, do you?
I think what’s different is that we’re no longer flirty strangers but bedmates. I know, it was a shock to me too.”
He finally took a step toward me, trying to hide his amused surprise.
“Forgot to tell me that my new room is your room, did you?” I wasn’t exactly mad, just confused at what game he was playing.
“I see you still chose to stay.” He looked around at the dirty plates and pans in the sink from the breakfast I’d made myself. “And made yourself at home.”
I blushed a little at that. “I just…haven’t ever had so much stuff to cook with. And I love cooking.”
“I tell you what then, I’ll keep the kitchen full of all the food you could desire and sleep on the couch, which was my plan anyway, in exchange for just one thing.”
It was my turn to raise an inquisitive brow. “I’m listening.”
“You cook for two. And we eat together when I’m here.”
I felt like I was playing with fire, and not the kind that I now had complete control over. No, this felt like the dangerous kind that would burn and scar.
I crossed my arms, giving myself time to be sure. “Fine.”
He huffed a laugh, making me melt just a little inside at how beautiful he looked when he laughed. “Deal. I need to debrief with the rest of the captains. Since I’ll likely be back late tonight, let’s plan for dinner tomorrow.”
With a smile, he turned and left. I couldn’t help but feel like I was playing right into his hand, losing at whatever game we were playing.
Maybe I was okay with losing. Perhaps I wanted to.
No. Absolutely not. I had to protect my heart.
“He’s not so bad, Naci. Trusting people here wouldn’t kill you,” Noxie said.
“Trusting people got Nella killed, which is far worse.” I wasn’t sure if I was convincing myself, or Noxie of that.
* * *
Many hours later, I laid awake in bed, unable to fall asleep. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was mostly waiting for Drayce to return. Thoughts of him and me living under the same roof weren’t helping either.
Just as I’d let my mind wander to deliciously inappropriate places, I heard the front door open and close.
I sat up in bed, debating whether I should go out and see him, but by the time I slipped out of bed and reached for the door handle, I heard the front door open again, followed by a hushed voice.
I pressed my ear to the closed bedroom door and listened hard, even my fae hearing barely able to make out the words that seemed to be coming from Kaelor.
“Final casualty report?” Drayce asked in an equally low voice.
“Our soldiers, only the three: a light bender, a lightning wielder, and the bear vey.”
My heart dropped. Three rebel soldiers were dead from whatever mission Drayce had been on.
“And what about the local civilians?”
Kaelor paused before answering Drayce. “All targets neutralized. Four mortals perished in the fight. The townsfolk saw to it that they were properly buried and mourned.”
Mortals died because of these missions? I felt my pulse quicken as rage tainted the sadness in my heart. What was the point in protecting the world from mortal-murdering kings if the mortals died in the process?
Just like Nella and the other servants had in the castle, dead by Caedryn’s hand, but as retaliation for the rebellion attacking the ball. This thought brought angry shadows to my hands.
When Kaelor left, I threw the bedroom door open and stalked toward a shocked-looking Drayce.
“Mortals are dying because of your missions?” I asked, crazed. “How many have died, Drayce? How many, including my sister and all the servants in Ashthorn, have died because of your raids? Look me in the eye, Drayce Rhyven, and tell me how many you’ve killed!”
“Naci, I…”
“Give me a number!” I shot a shadow tendril at him that collided with his chest and sent him stumbling back onto the couch. This time, I wasn’t sure if it was actually my anger controlling the shadows, or if it was the shadow magic’s influence.
His face fell. Despite my boiling anger, I could tell how much this tore him apart.
“Since I became the rebellion’s leader…” He swallowed. “Seventy-two.”
“Seven…seventy-two?!”
“Yes, Naci, and I carry that with me every day. I see their faces, hear their pleading or their crying. Some have died taking up arms by my soldiers’ sides and fighting their persecutors.
Some have died from rogue magic. Others…
hostages when the fae realize who we are.
We do everything to protect them, Naci, but we can’t protect them all. ”
The look on his face was begging me to understand, but in that moment, I couldn’t. I turned toward the bedroom and shut the door, leaving a dejected Drayce in my wake.
He didn’t follow.
I hadn’t wanted him to.
* * *
For two days, I avoided Drayce—I still had questions, but I didn’t want to have dinner in order to ask them. I left each morning for my workout without a word, and when I returned to his house in the afternoon, I shut myself in the room and read Sevrin’s books.
It wasn’t until the third day after his return that he attempted to speak to me.
He knocked on my door, causing me to look up from Nox Incineram.
“Naci?”