Chapter 28 #2
“Why not let her see the outdoors?” I shouted as White disappeared from view, the door slamming shut behind him.
?
Being trapped in a cell underground was incredibly mundane. And depressing. And the perfect storm for the onset of an existential crisis. The lack of clear days, the flickering light, Three’s renewed singing, the boredom, the lack of choice—it was all driving me hopelessly, and irrevocably, mad.
By my guesstimate, I made it three weeks before I got my first waking vision of Todd.
He first appeared, looking grumpy and disappointed, while I was counting the number of tiles plastered to the walls. My count determined that there were 3,456, but that involved some extrapolating since some of the walls were hidden behind storage and cabinetry.
From there, Imaginary Todd was hard to shake, appearing without rhyme or reason.
Sometimes I saw Imaginary Todd out of the corner of my eye, and on occasion, I’d still try—and fail—to imagine him with hair. I toyed with it in my mind, but everything looked like an ill-fitting wig.
That is how I kept my sanity. As much as a person kept in captivity, hallucinating their friend with different hair styles could be considered sane.
I tried to logic my way into any of this making sense. Provide myself with a rationale that what I was doing was for self-preservation. To keep my mind occupied enough that I wouldn’t fall into the lull of inaction. Or revisit my pit.
Todd was the logical choice. I couldn’t think of Jack.
Thinking of him was too sensitive and raw, and brought me right back to where I was.
On a loop. I’d think of Jack, how he’d been kind.
How he felt hot and heavy against my skin.
The slide of his tongue. The grate and grind and friction and want that resulted in me ending up here…
It wasn’t true, I told myself. Being with Jack wasn’t what caused me to be in this hellhole. The Seal would’ve found me, would have done this to me, whether or not Jack had been part of the picture.
But if I wanted to keep my mind elsewhere, to escape reality, Jack was off limits.
Besides it felt good, to pretend I was on the couch with Todd, watching fifty-somethings argue over the best way to bake a brie—which I was fairly certain was a cheese that could be eaten cold.
It also felt good to imagine myself punching him.
Just once, really hard, in the arm. He’d smile. He could take it.
And maybe we’d make idle chatter, and I’d get to know his daughters better. Remy and Rory. I’d like Remy, she was cute, smart, and if I was lucky enough, would want my passenger to end up the same way—full of fire.
That was enough. I was enough. I was going to get out. And get the vamp case back on track to boot.
?
Bang!
The metal door flung open as Madame strode into the room, beelining for the keys hooked on the far wall. Warden White followed close on her heels, carrying a large teetering bucket.
A sudden change like this couldn’t be good. Maybe I asked too many questions. Maybe I put too many ideas into White’s head about what would happen to Three that Madame now considered her a liability.
Trying to hide my alarm, I got to my feet. Slowly.
“No need to escalate. Not yet,” the grumpy tattooed man in my peripheral vision signed. Well, that was new, but I’d worry about that later. “Take a deep breath.”
I did as I was told, as I tried to assess the situation. Three seemed unnerved, which meant neither of us knew what was going on.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“You’ve made it past twelve weeks. Congratulations.” Madame twisted the key in Three’s door. “And we’ve decided to celebrate your accomplishment by granting you your wish.”
Wish? What wish?
I looked to White for answers and only found him red and flustered, as he lowered the bucket next to my cage. His expression unreadable.
“Well, come on, darling.” Madame’s attentions were on Three as she held open the cage door. “We haven’t got all day.”
Three quick-stepped towards Madame. “Where are we going?”
“Two is getting what she wanted. A shower,” Madame pointed at the bucket, “and you, my dear, are going to get some time outside in the sun.”
I tried to use Warden White’s reaction as a gauge to see if Madame was lying, but his face was impassive. Or he was about to pass out, I wasn’t quite sure which. As White huffed and puffed, I conducted a quick inspection of the bucket’s contents.
No wonder Warden White was out of breath. The bucket was filled nearly to the brim with soapy water, an oversized sponge floating at the surface.
He may have been a ‘doctor’ but he couldn’t have been that bright if he carried a bucket full of water down a few flights of stairs. He could have just filled the bucket with the tap we had on hand.
Despite the lack of brain space White used, and every reason I had to be distrustful of the situation, it stood to reason, that if the bucket was for bathing, then Madame could very well be bringing Three outside for some fresh air.
Still, it didn’t sit well with me that Three was being taken to a secondary location, now that my passenger hit the twelve-week mark.
The Seal was under no obligation to tell me the truth.
I knew that for a fact. But making Three anxious when I wasn’t in a position to do anything about it wouldn’t help anyone.
Either she was being taken for some sun, or she wasn’t, and the only thing I could do about it was to confirm whether or not Three was going to return, and if not, the only course of action I had was to appeal to White’s humanity. Without Madame around.
I managed to give Three an encouraging nod as Madame whisked her away and out the heavy metal door, leaving just Warden White and me in the room.
I nudged the bucket through bars with my foot. “Not exactly a shower.”
“No, but the water’s warm and not exactly the worst either, love.
” My eyes shot over to the sink. There was a singular ball valve, which meant there was only one temperature—cold.
Warden White carried a bucket down the stairs for me so I could have access to warm water.
Which meant he’d taken on the burden because he’d wanted to be kind… .
Dipping a finger in to confirm the temperature, the heat snatched the chill from my bones. Turns out he wasn’t lying about that either. A good sign, but I had one more line of questioning. “If this is a ‘shower’, what does ‘outside’ mean, really?”
Warden White pulled up a chair while he caught his breath. “Just that, love.”
“And she’ll come back?”
White’s brows furrowed. “Of course, why wouldn’t she?”
“Twelve weeks is a bit of a milestone, isn’t it?” When he nodded, I continued, “Then you can understand my concern.”
The lack of response told me White hadn’t put two and two together. I’d need to spell it out.
“Given the situation, I was worried she’d be gone… you know, for good?”
The red drained from White’s face, and his breathing steadied. He shook his head. “I love that kid like she’s my own. I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, so get that out of your head.”
I fought the smile that tugged at my lips, my system flooding with relief. Warden White was exactly the person I thought he’d be—he was my key, even if I was the Seal’s. “So, you know what happens to us then? Afterwards? After you have what you want?”
Eye darting back and forth, he opened his mouth, then clamped it shut so quickly I heard the clack of his teeth smacking together.
“Hmmm…I didn’t think so.”
Warden White pushed himself to his feet. “The water isn’t going to stay warm if you keep dawdling.”
“Changing the subject, great avoidance technique.”
“I’m not avoiding, love. I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“You keep telling yourself that.” I reached for the sponge through the bars, before brushing it over my arms. “It would be a lot easier if, you know, I could actually reach the water.”
In my peripheral vision, Imaginary Todd took on a more solid form, leaning against the far wall, as White rooted around some cupboards.
“Not taking any chances, love. Stand over the drain if you’re worried about the mess.
” Grabbing a fresh hospital gown, he crossed the room and handed it to me. “Here.”
Leaving the sponge afloat in the bucket, I took ahold of the gown, pinching it between my fingers to avoid soaking the fabric. The gown wasn’t exactly new, the material as flimsy as the garment I was wearing, but at least it was clean.
While I inspected, White backed away from my cage and began busying himself with some medical equipment—his back to me as a small form of privacy.
Imaginary Todd, however, was still present. And I was at the center of his attention.
“Don’t watch me,” I said as much to White as to Imaginary Todd.
“I’m not looking, and I have no intention of turning around.” From what I could make out over White’s shoulder was that he was taking the pieces of a machine apart and sanitizing them. “But I’m staying here in case you got any funny ideas about the water and that collar of yours.”
Imaginary Todd, however, crossed his arms then ankles, as he continued leaning against the wall. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
If he wasn’t part of my imagination, I’d have thrown the sopping wet sponge in his direction.
“I don’t advise that.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to.”
“Good.” White continued, “Now, I’d recommend getting a move on if you want to finish up before Madame returns.”
Placing the change of clothes aside, I reached for the ties that held my hospital gown up.
I paused. Imaginary Todd raised a thick brow. It really shouldn’t have bothered me that a portion of my imagination was being stubborn. That the fake person only I could see kept their eyes on me.
On the other hand, if he was a figment of my imagination, Imaginary Todd should have obeyed me. It’s not like I wanted Todd to watch, and this definitely wasn’t the situation for it. But then again, not everything had to have a reason.
Oh, there’s a reason.