Chapter Eleven #2
They didn’t speak for a few moments, and during that time, she realized Nolan was still holding her hand. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? And why hadn’t he removed his hand yet? But now, he was slowly rubbing his thumb along her knuckles.
Her heartbeat sped faster. He wasn’t wearing his leather gloves as he’d done when they drove into town, and the touch of his skin was a remarkable change.
A few minutes passed in silence. The awkward stillness between them bothered her. Was he going to say something about holding her hand so personally? Or was he expecting her to say something first?
“I must tell you how impressed I was with how calm you were during the bank robbery,” he said, keeping his gaze on the road in front of them. “Most women in your predicament would have swooned. In fact, I worried about that older woman who stood against the wall.”
“I’ll admit,” she confessed, “that when it first happened, I was quite shaken. But then I realized that you’d lost your pistol when you jumped off the train and that you had no way to protect us.
Besides,” she shifted in the seat, facing him a little better, “I had noticed your gaze darting around the room as if you were assessing the situation.” She shrugged.
“I knew I had to help with some kind of distraction.”
“And your rendition of being in labor was so amazing,” he chuckled, “as if you were really giving birth.”
She laughed. “I was trying desperately to act my part. The bank robbers wouldn’t have believed me otherwise.”
“Well, you had me fooled for a few minutes.” He glanced at her again. “I really wondered what was causing you to be in so much pain... and especially why you had something shoved up your dress to make your middle larger.”
“About two years ago, my older cousin went into labor while we were at church. At first, I thought the devil was in her or something, but it was quite a refreshing break from my uncle’s normally dry sermon.”
“You have family in Bloomington?”
She shook her head. “No. This was when I was in Chicago, visiting them.”
The stroking of his thumb stopped, and when the horse slowed, she lifted her gaze to his. Worry etched across his handsome face.
“Why didn’t you go stay with your family in Chicago instead of coming to Montana?”
“I thought I was applying for a job. Remember?”
“So true.” He paused. “When this is all over, will you want to live in Chicago with your family?”
Emotion clogged her throat. For a moment, she wanted to cry... scream... become angry. Was he trying to get rid of her already? Then again, he hadn’t wanted a wife, just as she hadn’t wanted a husband.
“Probably,” she said softly, relieved that her voice hadn’t broken—since her heart was doing enough of that now anyway.
“Of course. I’m sure they would be happy to see you again.” He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
She couldn’t stop the sigh from releasing through her tight throat. Nolan was such a nice man, and now that she could see his tender side, she realized how much she admired that about him. In a way, he reminded her of Uncle Rick. Or was that trait something that just belonged to lawmen?
“Enough about me.” She smiled as her heart melted. “I don’t know much about you.”
He shrugged and turned his focus back to the road, removing his hand from hers as he gripped the reins and urged the horse into a trot again.
“Since I was fourteen, I had been a wanderer. Both of my parents died of yellow fever. I went to live with my grandparents, and as you can surmise, they didn’t live that much longer. ”
“Oh, Nolan. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Deborah. The trials in my life helped me to become the independent man I am today.”
“How long were you a U.S. Marshal?”
“About ten years. When my wife died, I quit to become a rancher and spend more time with my daughter and brother. Life is precious, and I want to spend it with those I love.”
“That’s a positive way to look at things, I suppose.” If only she had been so wise, especially when she had discovered those documents.
He nodded and stared at the road ahead of them. His disheartening frown made her heart clench.
Nolan glanced at her. “This might sound odd to you, but capturing the bandits at the bank has brought excitement back into my life.”
“Is being a rancher so boring?”
He laughed, but it wasn’t like the other time.
“It’s busy. I do the same thing every day. But at least I spend time with my Ellie.”
“She really is adorable.” Like her father...
Deborah shook the thought out of her head. She couldn’t think that way about him. It was clear he wanted to get her back to Bloomington and turn over the documents, so they could divorce and live their own lives.
Sadness seeped inside of her once again. This was now her life. The quicker she accepted it, the better she would feel.
“Ellie is my world.” Nolan smiled.
“One day, I hope to have the same joy in my life.”
Suddenly, Nolan brought the wagon to a complete stop. He hooked the reins over the seat before turning toward her and taking hold of her hands. She looked at him in surprise. The tenderness in his eyes made her heart hammer faster.
“Something is bothering you. I can hear it in your voice. I wish you would talk to me,” he said.
Deborah held her breath. She couldn’t tell him the thoughts filling her mind. It was hard enough for her to believe she felt this way about him, and he would definitely not believe it either.
“I... um.” She took a deep breath. “Well, you see, I couldn’t help but think of my family just then.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Are you certain that is all?”
The thoughts that had briefly visited her head were now gone.
The more she gazed into his hypnotic eyes, the more she realized she couldn’t look anywhere else.
There was nothing else to see that was as mesmerizing.
She also enjoyed the way her heart softened and how relaxed she felt. He was just too darn handsome.
“Yes, of course.” After she said it, she realized her answer wasn’t genuine, but she prayed he would believe her anyway. “Why do you think there is more?”
“Well, I was truly hoping that you would tell me how much you care about me, and that you want to see me again after the mess with the Sapphire widow is finished.”
Laughing uncomfortably, she tried to pull her hands away from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let go. She gave up. After all, she rather liked their hand-holding. “Well, I suppose I have grown rather fond of you. How could I not when we have spent nearly every minute together since leaving your ranch?”
“I’m very happy to know that.” He winked. “Because I feel the same way about you.”
Her hopes lifted, even after he turned back in the seat, but kept hold of one of her hands.
He picked up the reins and urged the horse forward.
She remained silent. It pleased her to sit so close to him, and yet she didn’t want to have any kind of lovey-dovey feelings for a man who would leave her life just as quickly as he’d entered.