Chapter 8
Jordan
Aggravation rears its ugly head.
I knew she’d run, but actually having her do it made me see red. I didn’t even care that the beast took over and had me chasing her down and dragging her back.
She’ll be tied to this bed indefinitely.
Her talk of the work she’s doing in the zone has me feeling a myriad of emotions.
At first, I was shocked, but that quickly morphed into disbelief.
There’s no vaccine, no treatment. The world has all but forgotten us, leaving us to rot.
There were talks that some scientists were working on it, but as time passed and nothing definitive progressed, the hope for one died.
Kate is living in an alternate reality if she thinks her little science projects are going to save us.
“If you won’t untie me, will you at least answer my questions?”
I hover between sitting and standing, weighing my options. Say no and this ridiculous attempt of hers can be put to bed. But the beast lurks in the recesses of my mind, hungry to be close to her, so I find myself saying, “Yes” before I can really consider if I want to go down this road.
She blinks in surprise before giving me a tentative smile. It makes my heart pound forcefully in my chest, and the beast purrs. “Okay.” She dips her chin. “Sit.”
I do without hesitation, which earns me a wider smile before a serious look replaces it. “When were you first infected?”
“Six months ago.”
“How?”
Her question makes me pause. “What do you mean, how? An infected bit me.”
She shakes her head. “I mean, what were the circumstances? Was it a horde attack? Where did it happen?”
Memories of that horrible day come to the surface without permission. I force them back into the shadows, unable to deal with them. “I was in the city. On a run.”
A little gasp. “You were a runner.”
The poor survivors tasked with retrieving supplies from government aid drops. It’s arguably one of the most dangerous roles in the zones, having to traverse parts of the city overrun with infected or raiders.
I nod jerkily, wishing I had said no to this inquisition. “Yes.”
“For how long?”
“Long enough.”
“Which zone?”
“Does that matter?”
She seems to ponder my question for a moment. “Maybe not for understanding the infection, but it helps me better understand you.”
I don’t like that one bit. “Next question,” I grit out.
“Okay.” Her eyebrows furrow, but she continues, “What happened after you were bit? What were your symptoms?”
I shrug. “The usual—fever, sweats followed by chills, cough. I couldn’t go back to the safe zone, but the other infected didn’t bother me. We can sense when you’ve been infected.”
“How?”
“We can…smell it, I guess.” It’s hard to put into words. “But truthfully, I don’t know. The virus inside us seems to know and only goes after non-infected people.”
“Unless the virus has progressed,” she adds.
I nod. “Right. Once it’s progressed enough, you’ll attack anything.”
“Any other symptoms that are unusual?”
My eyebrows raise. “Like what?”
“I don’t know, like anything that isn’t common.”
I wrack my brain for anything, but I come up short. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“What is the beast? You mentioned it but didn’t elaborate.”
“Next question.”
“But—”
“Next.”
Her lips purse and her eyes narrow slightly. The beast likes that look. “When did you realize you could speak or be in control of your body?”
Fear from that day floods my system. I can still hear the infected, feel their bodies pressed against mine, smell the body odor and—
“Are you all right?”
The words reach my ears, but they’re muffled. My vision has gone dark around the edges, and my limbs tingle, as if asleep.
The terror of waking up, surrounded by them, wondering if they’ll rip me apart—
“Hey.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head like I’m a dog shaking water from my ears. I force myself to take a deep breath, then another, letting my lungs expand.
I’m not down there, I remind myself. I’m out.
I open my eyes to find Kate’s face etched with concern. “Are you okay?” she asks, her voice soft.
Jumping up from the bed, I grunt, “No more questions,” before nearly running for the door.
“Wait!”
The beast forces my body to freeze, even though all I want to do is be anywhere but here. I look over my shoulder to see concern still in her features.
“I just…” She bites her bottom lip before saying, “I’d like to know your name.”
Her question nearly throws me from my panic, but I still need to be alone.
“Jordan,” I tell her, but I don’t give her a chance to reply before I’m rushing down the stairs, sequestering myself in a room on the first floor.
I pace back and forth, hoping the movement will get the anxiety out of me. Remembering that traumatizing day is the last thing I want to do.
I woke up surrounded by infected.
That’s the best way to describe it—I was lucid as the virus controlled me, moved me around of its own accord. I’d come to randomly, while my body was ripping into someone’s flesh, or when the sun would hit my face in the early mornings. But I could never control what was happening.
I receded into the depths of my mind, forcing myself to sleep so I didn’t have to face what I’d done. What the virus forced me to do.
But when I awoke in the cave, I couldn’t fall back asleep.
Others were pressed against me, the smell overwhelming my nostrils and making my eyes water.
We were all standing, preparing to leave for the night, to hunt for non-infected.
I couldn’t turn my brain off, couldn’t stop the terror crawling up my throat as I realized what was happening.
I could control my body again—somewhat. And I had to get the fuck out of there.
I moved with the crowd, breathing through my mouth, trying to copy their swaying movements to not draw attention.
Would they consider me an outsider now? Would they kill me?
I didn’t understand why this was happening, or what this all meant.
I knew I was still infected; I could feel the beast lurking under my skin.
Once we exited, I scoured the area for a way out.
Slowly, so painfully slowly, I eased myself away from the horde, fighting every instinct I had telling me to run.
I weaved through abandoned homes, putting as much distance between me and them as I could, hyperventilating as the calamity of this crashed down around me.
I stumbled into a house, nearly ripping the door off its hinges as I collapsed to the floor, my entire body shaking.
Calm down, a voice that was not my own commanded in my head. It sounded like granite.
“Who is that?” I whispered, unable to speak louder, my throat raw. It snarled, racking my brain. I clutched my ears in pain. “Who are you? What are you doing in my head?”
The chuckle it let out made my hair stand on end. I’m you.
The virus had warped me on a molecular level. I thought I had gone mad. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling of others pressed against me, their skin on mine. Memories of what I’d done spiraled through my mind, showing me moments of ripping people apart, gorging on them while they were still alive—
I started dry heaving, my stomach desperate to empty, though there was nothing in it.
I didn’t understand what was happening, but I needed it to end.
I tried so many times to end my life. I’d get close, just for the virus to stop me.
I’d scream and thrash in my own mind, but I was never successful.
Eventually, I came to call the virus ‘Beast’ because it was ruining my life and my desire to die.
Forcing me to be alone, to neither live with the infected nor the non-infected.
I was alone, and I couldn’t even end it.
Now, the virus has forced me to do something even more unexpected—to kidnap a woman. Not to infect or eat, but to…what? Keep as a pet? Its motivations are still unknown.
It doesn’t really matter—I’ve taken this woman and we seem hellbent on keeping her.