Chapter 32
Jordan
I feel physically lighter after divulging the horrors I went through with Kate. I know sharing it with her won’t get rid of my memories, but to share them with someone and not have them judge me or turn away from me makes me feel almost weightless.
She’s been looking at me slightly differently, though. It’s not in a pitiful way—more like a melancholic way. Maybe even looking at me longingly.
I try to shake that from my head. I’m probably imagining things.
Traversing the mountains gets more difficult with each passing hour.
With the trails now closed, they’re not maintained, so debris and fallen trees litter our path.
The air gets colder the further we go, reminding us that winter has barely passed.
Not to mention the changes in elevation as we hike upward.
We need to push through, I tell myself, the beast groaning in the recesses of my mind. Just keep going.
It isn’t until I force the thoughts from my mind that I see something in the distance. I blink a few times, trying to make sure I see what I actually think I see.
There’s smoke rising from the mountains.
“There’s people over there,” I state, pointing.
Kate comes up next to me. “How do you know?”
I forgot the virus makes my eyesight keener. “There’s some smoke coming from that direction,” I explain, lowering my arm and turning to her. “I didn’t think anyone could survive out here.”
Her eyes go distant. “There was a rumor; it’s said that a group of religious fanatics believed the virus was a way of God punishing humanity for its sins, and that only the true believers would be freed.
They gathered together and left the city to live out in the mountains.
” She shakes her head before looking at me, brows narrowed.
“But it can’t be true. Seeing all the infected go into the cave?
There’s no way a horde didn’t find them all by now. ”
“There’s a fire out there,” I reiterate. “There has to be someone lighting it.”
Kate narrows her eyes. “Even if there’s someone out there, what does that mean for us?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe we just avoid them.”
Kate gnaws on her lower lip, eyes darting back to the mountain range. “How do we know it’s not others like you?”
The beast snarls at the idea of others being like me. As if that means Kate will leave us. I shake my head. “We don’t, but it’s best not to engage.”
She lets out a nervous sigh. “Okay. We’ll avoid them.”
The beast settles down at her agreement.
The mountains are unrelenting. Fat snowflakes fall from the sky as we get closer, reminding us that spring has yet to arrive this high up.
The virus keeps me warm, but Kate began shivering hours ago. I couldn’t stop myself from scooping her up and throwing her over my back like a backpack, throwing my actual pack against my front. Kate is slower than I am, and I don’t want to spend more time out here than necessary.
Her arms are wrapped around my neck like a vise. The haunted memories sit in the back of my mind, ready to pounce at her touching me, but they’ve held back for now.
“We should find shelter,” I tell her over my shoulder. “We don’t want to get caught in a storm.”
The only response I get is the sound of her teeth chattering. The beast and I anxiously scan for breaks in the rocks, looking for reprieve.
We walk for what feels like an eternity until we finally reach another building—a small, brick structure that, according to the map, is a small historical house. I rush in, sniffing for any threats, but the tiny building hasn’t seen any visitors for some time.
I carry her in, and she dismounts with a sigh of relief, her breath a cloud in the cold.
“I’ll—g-get a f-f-fire going.” Her teeth are chattering so hard, the words come out stuttered.
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her before saying into her hair, “No, I’ll do it. You sit.” A protective surge rushes through me—whether it originates from the beast or from myself, it’s unclear. But it doesn’t matter.
Kate and I detangle, and I get to work. The building has a small fireplace, with a few pieces of wood settled beside it.
Placing the wood in and grabbing the fire starter from my backpack, I make quick work of the fire.
Kate shuffles over, her hands outstretched toward the flames, her face red from the cold.
The beast whines in my mind, feeling helpless. I crouch behind her, quickly taking off her outer layer.
“W-what are y-you d-d-doing?” she stammers.
“We need to dry these,” I explain.
She lets me undress her until she’s stark naked. She’s as close to the fire as she can be without burning herself. A relieved hum comes from her as the flames reach for her.
After spreading out her soaked clothes, I strip myself down quickly and roll out a sleeping bag. “Come here,” I demand, unzipping it for her to climb into.
She obliges, not bothering to question me, even as I climb in beside her.
“Oh,” she sighs dreamily. “You’re so warm.”
The beast purrs. “The virus—”
“I know,” she interrupts, her eyes closing with a satisfied hum. Her arms wrap around my waist. “I noticed it before, when we…well, you know.”
“When we fucked.”
The beast groans.
Anxiety winds down my spine, waiting for the smell of those bodies, the feel of their skin against me—
Her eyes peek open to throw me a scandalized look. “Yeah. When we did…that.”
I snort, trying to hide the smile that wants to spread across my face, keeping myself present. “That was fun.”
Kate inhales sharply, her eyes shutting again before murmuring, “It was.”
“We’ll do it again,” the beast promises.
“Maybe.”
I peer down at her, and she has a smirk lighting up her face. I pull her tighter against me. “Brat,” I scold playfully.
Kate settles into me, her face burrowing into my neck as she breathes deeply. Her tremors are gone, and exhaustion seems to be taking over.
I should sleep too, but I’m too wired. From having her close. From knowing there are people out there somewhere close by. Some of the memories come forward, threatening to ruin this moment. Having her pressed up against me brings me back—
I shake my head, trying to dislodge the images, the smell. I press my face into her hair and inhale deeply, telling my brain that I’m with Kate; I’m not stuck in that cave.
Forcing myself to take deep breaths into her hair, I feel Kate’s muscles relax against me, letting me know she’s asleep.
The memories start to fade and I settle against her.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach staying next to her all night, so I hold her tighter as the wind whistles and howls past.