Chapter 15
Iyana
Most of the dinner was chatting in between bites with the other royal children.
Well, except for Zahar; he mostly kept to himself, only contributing to the conversation when a question was directed at him.
The king and queen both ate in silence. It was unnerving for Iyana, but as the meal wore on and she continued to sip on her wine with nothing untoward happening, she began to relax.
It helped that Emmeric was seated next to her, giving small, reassuring touches to her back or knee when she was becoming anxious.
Everything was going well until dessert, when Queen Nita spoke for the first time. “Aztia,” she said in a clipped tone. “Maybe you can enlighten us as to how the stars have fallen to the earth again.”
Suddenly, the room was spinning, and Iyana felt all the blood rush from her face. One thought circulated through her mind: my fault my fault my fault.
“Mother,” she heard Kaz say from a distance, “let’s maybe not interrogate our guests during dinner?”
“Zoara, you lost the right to speak to me in such a manner two years ago when you snuck out in the middle of the night.”
Everyone was talking around her, but they all sounded like they were underwater. She was underwater. She was drowning. She couldn’t breathe. Air. She needed air.
“Breathe,” a calm voice whispered in her ear, while a steady hand squeezed her knee with impossible gentleness.
“Well, Aztia?” The queen’s sharp voice filtered through to Iyana again, and she finally took a deep breath.
“It started with only one star falling…” Iyana began.
Then she told the entire shameful tale of how her na?vety had doomed their world.
Emmeric kept his hand on her knee, giving her the strength to make it through the part of the story where Altair had betrayed her trust and called all the stars down from the sky.
Nita was silent while Iyana spoke, but once her story ended, the queen finally spoke. “So if we as humans are enslaved, we know who to thank, then.”
Iyana’s heart rate doubled.
“Nita,” King Saram chastised. “Surely you remember what it is like to be young and in love. I know I do.” The king grinned for the first time since they’d been in Nyr. He had a wonderful smile, she thought; he should do it more often.
Obviously, the queen thought so as well, because she visibly relaxed and returned his smile. “You’re correct, my love. I remember doing some foolish things in my youth for love.”
Zane cleared his throat. “Now that everyone is up to speed, I would like to discuss the matter of the stars in Athusa with you, Your Majesties.”
“We’re listening,” Nita said.
“I was hoping to have access to your army to reclaim my empire, as well as your assistance with the refugees who are slowly making their way over here.”
“You ask for a lot, young emperor,” said Saram.
“I understand that, and I would not be asking if I had any other choice.”
“We will think on it.”
Iyana could see Zane was disappointed in the king’s non-answer, but he still nodded his head and gave them his thanks.
She wondered if there was anything Kaz could do to help the Athusan refugees, but judging by how icy her mother had been towards her since her homecoming, there probably wasn’t much sense in asking.
“In the meantime,” the queen continued, “you are all welcome to stay for as long as you need to. Aztia, I understand you are a healer. You have been granted full access to our healers’ quarters.
Any training or anything you require from the apothecary is available to you.
” Iyana’s soul lifted at Nita’s words. “And it appears you are still in need of a tattoo. You can have that remedied whenever you see fit.”
She’d have her ouroboros at last. Iyana touched the place on her left wrist where the tattoo would encircle her skin.
Grief for Mata Imo flowed through her anew.
Her grandmother should have been the one to tattoo the healer sigil onto her body, but all the same, Iyana was excited to finally receive the ink that would mark her as a healer.
“The rest of you will have access to all our training facilities.”
The men offered their thanks, then the king and queen took their leave.
Sekhan clapped his hands loudly, causing Iyana to jump. “How about we take this party back to my quarters and continue drinking?” The prince raised his eyebrow at her, and she felt a surge of jealousy from Emmeric. That explained what she had sensed earlier, then.
“Thank you for the invitation,” she said to Sekhan. Emmeric’s bitter jealousy increased, and it was her turn to place a reassuring hand on his knee. “But I think I’m going to head to bed. Maybe another time.” She smiled and bade them all goodnight. Emmeric stood to leave with her.
“You don’t need to come with me if you want to stay,” she told him quietly.
“Where you go, I go, Mouse.”
Relief filled her at his words, and although she knew he was able to read her emotions, she still refused to say the words aloud. So she rolled her eyes and said, “Come on, then.”
And she refused to admit how good his hand felt on her skin as he guided her back through the palace.
That first night in Nyr, she bid Emmeric goodnight in their common room, too fearful of the unfiltered hunger in his eyes as he appraised her in that red dress to allow him into her bedroom.
But when she thrashed herself awake with a nightmare, he was beside her.
He had crept into her room while she was sleeping, but Iyana couldn’t find it within herself to be angry.
She curled into Emmeric’s comforting arms. The next morning, he slipped out of bed before she awoke.
Neither of them discussed the matter, but it hung between them all the same.
In order to escape the tension, she found the healers’ quarters and finally received her ouroboros tattoo around her left wrist. Iyana expected to feel elated at seeing that mark, but grief for her grandmother overtook any happiness she might normally have had during that momentous occasion.
Although she had planned to stay with the healers and work, Iyana retreated to her room and curled into a ball on her bed.
She sobbed for hours until she felt her bed dip, and a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Iyana blinked through her bleary vision and wiped away tears, expecting to find Emmeric but seeing Talon sitting next to her instead.
He smiled sadly. “Hey, Smalls. You okay?”
“No.” She sat and wrapped her friend in a hug. They stayed locked in a silent embrace for several minutes. When they finally broke apart, Iyana heaved a deep sigh and felt some of her worries depart her body with that breath. “How did you know I needed someone?”
“Mr. Grumpypants himself. But he said you were a little distant this morning, and he didn’t know if you’d want his company. So he sent me instead. Want to talk about it?”
“About Emmeric?”
“I was going to say about why you’re crying, but, yeah, sure. Let’s talk about Emmeric.” Talon smirked at her, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Iyana shook her head. “I’m only missing my grandmother.” She stroked the new tattoo on her wrist absentmindedly. “How are you doing?” she asked in an attempt to redirect the conversation. Iyana didn’t want to talk about herself anymore.
Talon shrugged one shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“Tal, I think we both know that’s bullshit.”
Her friend breathed a sigh and looked away. He started picking at the fabric of the blanket on the bed. Iyana laid her hand over her friend’s, stilling his movement.
“Talon, please tell me if there’s anything I can do.”
He shook his head. “Thanks, Smalls,” he said, his voice too sober for Talon’s loud personality. “I’ll be okay. It’s all an adjustment. You know what it felt like over there…Being back here—being alive—just feels like a lot sometimes. My body seems so heavy.”
“I get it,” she whispered. “Have you talked to Zane about any of this?”
“No.” He sighed again. “I don’t want to burden him with any of this. His life has already been so hard, and there’s going to be so much piled up on him soon as emperor. He doesn’t need my problems too.”
“He loves you, Talon. I think he wants your problems. He at least wants to help you through them. You should talk to him.”
“I don’t want to scare him away.”
Iyana’s eyes softened, gazing upon her normally vibrant friend, who now seemed so unsure of himself. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Tal. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could say now that would scare him off.”
“He doesn’t know what I’ve done. What if I tell him and he can’t deal with it?”
“Talon,” Iyana said sternly. “We’re talking about Zane Holygazer.
The man with such a fierce reputation that even I had heard about him in my remote village.
You and I both know he’s killed people. You’ve killed people.
Nine hells, I’ve killed people. We’ve all done stuff we aren’t proud of, things we wish we could take back.
I think, more than anyone, he’ll be able to understand what you did and why.
But you won’t know until you give him the chance and let him in. ”
Talon inhaled, held it for a moment, then released his breath in a shuddering exhale. Most of his anxiety seemed to melt off his body with the action.
“You’re right, Iyana. I’ll do my best to let him in more.” Talon grinned with a genuine smile, and it warmed Iyana’s heart to see it on her friend’s face. It made her momentarily forget about her own troubles.
“Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” she asked.
“No, why?” Talon squinted at her, suddenly suspicious.
“I was wondering if your offer to teach me how to use a dagger still stood.”
A sparkle entered Talon’s blue eyes. “Hells yes. Let’s go!” He grabbed her hand and dragged her off the bed. Laughter spilled from her lips as he tugged her through the halls to the training arena.
Over the next week, she fell into a sort of routine.
In the mornings, Iyana would spend time in the healers’ quarters honing her craft, and in the afternoons she would learn how to wield a dagger.
Talon, Zane, and Emmeric all took turns teaching her maneuvers that she could integrate while still using her magic.
She and Emmeric continued their combined training, and Iyana soon was adept at using both her magic and dagger simultaneously, while Emmeric became more attuned to the surrounding magic.
Soon, he was able to discern the strongest magical source nearby and pull from it directly.
He worked with controlling the flow to Iyana, increasing and decreasing it with purpose.
All of this while still wielding his dual swords with ease.
They saw little of the Nyr royalty, other than Kaz and Sekhan, who would both join their training on occasion.
Kaz’s parents had loaded her schedule, though, in punishment for her absence, and so she wasn’t around as often as Iyana would have liked.
Kekari would watch their training every once in a while, and would spend too much time eyeing Emmeric when he took off his shirt.
Misplaced jealousy would flare within Iyana’s chest whenever she saw the two interact.
And Emmeric, the bastard, would simply smirk at her, then take his time chatting with Kekari—usually while not wearing a shirt.
Iyana would look away from the spectacle, but not before noticing the royal’s eyes roaming hungrily over Emmeric’s bare skin.
After the long days, Iyana would collapse in bed.
Exhaustion would stave off the nightmares for a few hours, but they inevitably appeared night after night.
She would thrash herself awake to find Emmeric’s body wrapped around her own, feeding her strength and comfort.
It didn’t matter that they always began the night in their separate rooms. Inevitably, he’d find his way to her when the dreams worsened, and she’d spend the rest of the night tucked in his arms.
A few more weeks passed in much the same manner.
Winter solstice came and went with little fanfare.
There was a small party in the palace that they all attended, but Iyana and Emmeric left early.
She could tell he was sad, and that night he told her winter solstice was his favorite holiday growing up.
He and his parents would always exchange homemade gifts, drink warm cider, and walk through the snow.
It didn’t feel quite the same, surrounded by heat and humidity.
In spite of the heat, Iyana had crafted a small fire to hover in front of them, and they drank spiced wine on the couch in silence. Emmeric’s quiet contentment mixed with nostalgia warmed Iyana’s soul.