Chapter 17
Zane
Zane flopped down on the bed he and Talon shared.
“I’m the emperor of nothing,” he lamented.
“My heart…” Talon began, but Zane cut him off.
“No, Talon, it’s true. Saram and Nita refuse to answer my requests for an audience, they don’t call me ‘Your Majesty,’ and all I’ve done this past week is fucking train.
A star sits upon my godsawful, garish throne.
My people are in danger, and I’m over here sitting on my ass hoping the king and queen will eventually give me some aid. ”
Talon sat next to him on the bed, threading his fingers through his hair and gently massaging his scalp. Zane closed his eyes at the sensation, all the fight evacuating his body.
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know, Tal.” Zane sighed. “I guess I’ll just be persistent about it until they give in and talk to me.”
Talon’s deft fingers continued their perusal of his scalp, and Zane lost all ability to think.
It was the most Tal had purposefully touched him in what felt like a lifetime.
They slept in the same bed, but most of the time, they did so without touching.
On a few mornings, Zane had woken up tangled in Talon’s arms, but it was rare, and Talon always removed himself as soon as he awoke.
Zane soaked in the few moments he was allowed, trying not to move and pretending that everything was okay—that Talon would wake up with a smile on his face, and the haunted look in his eyes would be gone.
He’d gaze upon Zane with love, the way he had before.
They would take their time with each other, and then Zane would rule over Athusa with Talon by his side.
But then his love’s eyes would actually open, and the blue would be duller than Zane remembered. And Talon would wordlessly untangle his limbs from Zane’s and go into the bathing room. Sometimes Zane would hear him sobbing on the other side of the door.
So he laid on the bed silently while Talon played with his hair, and he tried not to move in fear of scaring the other man away.
“What if they don’t offer aid?” Talon finally asked quietly.
Zane’s eyes snapped open as he groaned. Nyr very well could refuse to help him. They could refuse to give the refugees shelter as well as the use of their army.
“We should go, then,” he said, springing up from the bed and beginning to pace—all thoughts of Talon’s fingers forgotten.
“Go?” Talon asked, frowning.
“Or I should go. You can stay here where it’s safe.
” Zane began talking faster as an idea formed.
“I’d travel faster if I went by myself, anyway.
I could sneak into Athusia and get your parents out, but then I’m the only one capable of getting into the castle undetected.
I know every inch of that place. It’d be so easy to get in, kill Rigil in his sleep, and retake my empire. ”
Talon jumped up and stopped Zane’s pacing with a hand on his shoulder.
“And then what, Zane?” he asked, anger lining each word.
“You’d get yourself killed immediately. Murdering Rigil doesn’t automatically stop any other star within the castle from ending you.
And that’s assuming you’d even be able to get that far without dying! ”
“I’m willing to die for my empire. What kind of emperor would I be if I wouldn’t give myself for my people?”
“Well, I’m not.”
“I’m not asking you to, Talon!” Zane threw his hands in the air, exasperated.
“No, Zane.” Talon shook his head. “I’m not willing for you to die for Athusa. I’m not willing to lose you for a maybe. For the mere chance of getting your empire back.”
Zane felt like he’d been doused with cold water. Talon’s grip on his shoulders tightened.
“If you left me,” Talon continued, his voice softer, “I wouldn’t survive it. You’re the only thing tethering me to life. If you left, I would be following you to the Everlands.”
Oh.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Zane pulled Talon close and held him tightly. Tal’s face was buried in his neck, and Zane gripped his long red hair in one hand, his other fisted in his tunic. Tal heaved a deep, shaky breath.
Stupid. He was so stupid.
The last thing Zane wanted was to give Talon another reason to leave him. He tugged Talon back gently by his hair. The other man was slightly taller, so Zane looked up into his face and willed him to see how sincere he was.
“Talon, my soul, I didn’t think—I’m so sorry. Of course, I won’t do anything foolhardy. I’m here with you, okay? Forever.”
Talon leaned his brow against Zane’s. “You promise?”
“Promise.” It wasn’t lost on Zane that Talon had made him a similar promise and then died. But he vowed to himself that this time would be different. They’d been given a second chance, and he would not squander it.
The next day, Zane was finally— finally—granted an audience with the king and queen. Talon was still sleeping when he received a slight knock on the door from a page giving him the news, so he dressed, left Tal a note explaining where he’d gone, and slipped out quietly.
He met with King Saram and Queen Nita in the small dining room where they’d had dinner the first night in Nyr.
Kaz and Zahar were both present, the latter sitting stiffly while the crown princess of the kingdom shoveled scrambled eggs into her mouth.
Zane almost wanted to laugh at the dichotomy of the two siblings.
“So,” Saram began in between bites, “young emperor, what can we do for you?”
Only Zane’s upbringing as a crown prince with a tyrant as a father allowed him to school his expression and tuck away his anger. He fell back on old habits, hiding his hands underneath the table and clenching them into fists.
“Your Majesties, I still would ask for your kingdom’s aid in sheltering Athusan refugees and taking back my empire.”
“Again, Zane”—he let the disrespect of using his first name roll off his back—“you ask a lot of us.”
“I understand, but—”
King Saram held up a finger to silence him. Zane clenched his jaw. They were testing him. He understood that, and he knew that should he fail, they wouldn’t grant him an audience again.
“We will allow your refugees into the forest, but no further. We will, of course, make sure that they are housed, fed, and given any medical attention they may require—we are not monsters. Some of them have already crossed the border and are being aided as we speak.” He took a bite of scrambled eggs and chewed it agonizingly slowly.
“As far as use of our military goes… that is a much higher ask. Were we to stay in Nyr behind the safety of the wards, then we would have no cause to go to war.”
“So you would condemn the rest of the continent to suffer under the might of the stars instead of fighting back for the good of humanity?”
Nita’s eyes flashed. “You should watch your tongue, young emperor.”
“He has a valid point, though, Mother,” Kaz said.
Her parents’ ire turned to her, and Zane gladly accepted the reprieve it gave him.
“Although we are safe now, it may not stay that way forever. And I don’t know about you, but I would have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror, knowing others were suffering when I could have done something about it. ”
“I agree with my sister,” Zahar said. They were the first words he’d spoken the entire meal.
“No shit?” Kaz exclaimed.
“Zoara!” Nita chided her daughter.
“I will offer you a deal,” Saram said, “as I also agree with my daughter. If you are able to recruit the aid of Istora, then we will add our armies to theirs to help you reclaim your empire.”
“Thank you, Your Majesties.” Zane bowed his head to them in respect, then stood from the table without finishing his breakfast. “I hope you all have a good day.” He nodded again to Kaz and Zahar, then left the room.
“Zane, wait up!” Kaz jogged up next to him. “So, what’s the plan?”
“The plan? The plan is I go to Istoria and try to get their queen to join our war.”
“That’s not going to be easy. I’ve heard she’s exceptionally difficult to get along with.”
Zane pursed his lips together. “I know. I’ve met her once, as a child. But I suspect that’s why your father tasked me with this. Let’s go chat with the others to get their opinions and see who wants to come with me.”
By this time, Talon was awake and eating breakfast in the common area outside of Emmeric and Iyana’s rooms. The three of them glanced up from their food when Zane and Kaz entered the space.
“What’s wrong?” Talon asked, getting to his feet.
Zane waved his hand at him, telling him he could sit back down. “I just had breakfast with the king and queen.”
“You didn’t eat anything,” Kaz interjected.
“Besides the point.” Zane sat down between Talon and Iyana. “The point is that they said they’re already aiding the refugees and plan on helping any who cross the border.”
“That’s great news!” Iyana said.
“And they promised me the use of their army.”
“What’s the catch?” Emmeric asked, ever the practical one.
Zane sighed. “I have to convince the Istorian queen to join the war as well. If she won’t, then Nyr will not lend me their forces.”
Talon chewed on his lower lip in the silence as everyone absorbed this latest information. Zane wanted to grab his lip between his own teeth and—
“So when do we leave for Istoria?” Talon asked, jolting Zane out of his daydream.
“You don’t have to come with me.”
Talon shrugged a shoulder and took another bite of his breakfast, the picture of nonchalance. “I would follow you anywhere.”
And those five words did something to Zane—they set his skin on fire, made his heart pound out of his chest, made butterflies erupt in his stomach. He could have easily yanked Talon to his feet and dragged him out of this room, down the hall, pinned him against the wall, and kissed him senseless.
But, unfortunately, this conversation still needed to be had.
“I think we should all go,” Kaz said brightly.
Iyana suddenly choked on her water and began spluttering and coughing. Emmeric patted her back gently in an effort to help, and they all sat there patiently as she suffered.
“I kind of like it here,” she said quietly once she had recovered. “I don’t really want to leave.”
Her words shocked Zane; she’d always seemed to be the best of them—someone who was reluctant to take a life, always wanted to help, and generally only saw the good in people.
“You’re gonna let them win?” Kaz asked. “Just like that?”
“We all saw what one star was capable of. And now you want us to go up against thousands? It will be a bloodbath.”
“It’s going to be a bloodbath with or without us, Smalls,” Talon said. “We might as well do all we can to help. And now we know what they can do, and we aren’t going in blind.”
“Could you really sit by while those people out there suffer?” Emmeric asked. Iyana only pursed her lips and stayed silent.
Would we have any chance without the Aztia? Zane thought to himself. He could tell the others were thinking the same thing as they all watched Iyana silently.
Honestly, he couldn’t blame her hesitation. While he, personally, would have wanted to get revenge against Altair for what he did—nine hells, he did want revenge against Altair for killing Talon—after someone she loved so deeply betrayed her; it made sense she’d be skittish.
“I have an idea,” said Kaz. They all swung their attention to her, waiting for her to elaborate. “We can go to our divine site and ask Yrza.”
“You have a place where you can commune with an actual goddess?” Zane raised a brow, doubtful of Kaz’s claim.
“Yeah! I’ve never been myself, and from what I’ve heard, she doesn’t always answer but—”
“So,” Emmeric interrupted, “we’re going to base our decision on asking a goddess who may or may not show up?”
Kaz shrugged. “It’s worth a shot. She only would answer during a full moon, but that’s only in two days.
We wouldn’t be able to leave for Istoria right now, anyway.
It would require some planning. So why not give it a shot and see if she answers?
We can ask her what we need to do to beat the stars, if Iyana needs to be involved… that sort of thing.”
Nobody else had any better ideas, so they agreed to hike out to this mystical site in two days to try to commune with a goddess. Zane didn’t have high hopes for success.