Chapter 58
Iyana
Iyana felt the moment that Altair’s soul left his body.
And although he had hurt her badly and betrayed her in the worst way, he still took a piece of her with him.
She gazed down at him; his eyes were closed, his chest refused to rise, and those hideous, ugly black lines had started to recede once he died.
This was the most at peace she’d ever seen him.
Hot tears continued to flow and fall onto his body as she refused to move away from him. None of her friends even tried, letting her have this time—even Emmeric. Her Kanaliza brushed against their bond to let her know that he was still there for her.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. That was the thought circulating through Iyana’s mind.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had gone to Athusia, hoping they would be able to free Zane and Talon without any problems. But her backup plan had been to offer herself as a replacement for her two friends, thinking Rigil would jump on the chance to capture her without a fight.
It was her hope that would suffice as the ‘willing sacrifice’ that would be required to banish the stars, and then she would simply find a way to escape the dungeons. For a second time.
She’d gravely misjudged the situation. And look where that had gotten them. Her errors had cost Altair his life. There had been a minute after she offered herself as a trade that she could tell Altair wanted to grab onto her and teleport them out, but he wouldn’t have been able to because—
Iyana surged to her feet, leaving her former lover lying in the snow, and marched to Okab.
“How did you teleport us out of the castle?”
The star frowned. “What?”
“Altair said there was magic in place preventing people from teleporting in and out of the castle, and that he’d had that privilege revoked because he was branded as a traitor. So was he lying to me? Or are you working for Rigil?”
“Iyana, I swear, I had no idea about the magic, but Altair was probably telling the truth.”
“Then how did you get us out?” she shouted, her tears falling faster. Iyana hated that this was her response to the situation. She actually liked Okab, and if he had double-crossed them as well, then Iyana didn’t think she’d ever be able to trust anyone again.
“I don’t know!” he yelled back, throwing his hands in the air.
“All I know is that no matter what I do, the other stars have always underestimated me. I’ve always been overlooked.
Rigil and Hadar honestly probably didn’t think of me as a threat.
The only one who ever saw me as capable is lying dead at my feet.
My brother. My twin is gone.” His breath hitched, and his own teardrops finally fell.
“He’s gone. The only person who ever told me how capable and how good I was while he was critiquing himself so harshly is just…
gone. He gave his life for yours, and now I don’t know how to move on from this. ”
“Okab…” Iyana said, reaching for him, but he stepped away.
She understood. She’d just accused him of betraying his own brother mere minutes after his death.
A small part of her shriveled inside, chiding herself for throwing accusations around that were unfounded.
But it was something she’d needed to know, and for that reason, Iyana couldn’t regret asking.
“I need…” Okab took a deep breath. “I need to find Tara. Oh gods, I have to tell her what happened. We’ll have to burn his body somehow—I can’t just leave him here.”
“I can take care of that, Okab. Do you have any rites that need to be done?” It was easier for her to take care of someone else for a few minutes.
The other star, who was so much like Altair, shook his head. “We only burn our dead and commit their energy back to the universe.”
Iyana nodded. She could do that. Taking one last look upon the face that she had fallen in love with, Iyana used her magic to set Altair’s body ablaze.
She forced herself to watch as the fire ate away all of those features she’d known so well—the lips that had professed his love to her, the golden eyes that had bored into her soul, the hands that had worshipped her.
Emmeric finally approached her and wrapped her in his arms. Iyana allowed herself to lean against him and steal some of his strength.
She was so conflicted about Altair’s death, because not only was he one of the strongest assets on their side, he had once meant the entire world to her.
While their relationship never would have gotten back to where it had once been, Iyana could have seen forming a tentative friendship with him.
Now that he was gone, she would never have that chance.
They all silently watched as the embers floated above their heads and hovered like stars against the backdrop of the burgeoning dawn, until Altair was nothing but ash at their feet.
Okab had wordlessly teleported them closer to Nyr’s border at their request, then disappeared once they were all safe. He’d have to go break the news to his sister, and Iyana knew that would be a difficult conversation.
The five of them crossed over Nyr’s border.
Iyana couldn’t even appreciate the temperature difference as they decided to camp right there for the rest of the night.
All she was capable of doing was curling into a ball at the base of a tree and pretending to go to sleep.
Emmeric could tell she was still awake, and she loathed the concern and pity she felt from him.
Shouldn’t he be angry with her? For mourning a former lover who had stabbed her in the back? Altair didn’t deserve her sadness or grief. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself, but she gave it to him, anyway.
Em told the others in whispers to leave her be, but he sat nearby. He didn’t try to reach out through their bond, and he didn’t touch her. It was comforting, though, to have his presence so close.
It took them several days of walking through the forest to reach the edge of Yrza.
Jato and his group of warriors met them, but one look at the group and he apparently decided against antagonizing his betrothed.
Kaz was silent like the rest of them, and he kept stealing little peeks at her, a crease between his brow.
No matter what either of them said, it was obvious he cared for her in some capacity.
The king and queen requested their presence in the throne room to debrief them on what had happened since they left, but none of them felt up to it. Kaz told Jato that her parents could ‘fucking wait until we’ve had a fucking bath.’ Iyana loved her a little bit more for it.
Once they had returned to the same rooms they’d been in before, Emmeric ran her a bath.
He hesitated in the bathing room, like he was unsure if he wanted to help her or leave her alone.
In the end, he left her in silence for Iyana to bathe herself.
They still hadn’t said more than a few sentences to each other, and those were only out of necessity.
Iyana was grateful he didn’t try to speak through their bond either, because she’d feel the need to put up her barriers then, and she didn’t have the energy for that.
She didn’t have the energy for anything.
The thought of talking or eating was too much to bear.
It was difficult enough to complete her entire bath, and the only reason she did was because she hated the layer of blood and dirt that covered her.
The crying started again as she watched the dried blood, long since turned brown, washing off of her and going down the drain.
That was the last piece of Altair left on this earth, and she’d washed it away like it was nothing.
Iyana’s hand strayed to the necklace at her throat.
It felt so right to be wearing it again, and the weight and warmth against her skin were comforting.
She could sense the hum of Altair’s magic within the pendant and knew what she had to do with it.
Altair had saved her, offering his own life in exchange.
In other words, a willing sacrifice.
The magic he had gifted her would help banish the rest of the stars—one last act to prove his love for her.
A tapping on the door jerked Iyana away from her spiraling thoughts. “Mouse, are you okay?”
Opening her mouth and moving her vocal cords seemed almost impossible, so she sent the message through their bond. I’m okay. It was all she was capable of saying. They both heard the lie, but Iyana could feel Emmeric’s relief that she had at least answered him.
After toweling herself dry, Iyana couldn’t be bothered to get dressed.
She didn’t have any clean clothes, anyway.
Kaz probably would have had some brought to her, but the act of searching for them was too great of an ask.
So she walked through the bedroom naked.
Emmeric only watched as she climbed into the bed and covered herself up to her ears with the blanket.
There was not a single hint of lust through their bond, verifying just how worried Em was.
Iyana fell asleep easily through sheer exhaustion, but her dreams were fraught with nightmares and memories of Altair.