15. Fiona
Chapter Fifteen
FIONA
I’m half asleep and almost out the door on my way to the office when I finally check my phone and see Cormac’s name on the screen.
CORMAC: I’m away on business. Don’t come into work.
I don’t know what I’m more surprised by, the fact that he knows how to text or the fact that he’s giving me a rare, mid-week day off.
But my happiness at the prospect of climbing back into bed is short-lived as I open up Cormac’s calendar on my phone and see no trips planned.
So, either this happened too last minute for him to inform me, or this is just one big ruse and he’s gone to visit whoever he was talking to on the phone the other night.
Maybe he really does have a secret girlfriend…
I drop my phone onto the counter like it just burned me.
Why does the thought of Cormac visiting another woman have my stomach bottoming out?
“He’s not Freddy,” I say to myself.
Every time he blew off plans, I was left feeling like this. Sick to my stomach and spiraling about what he was getting up to. Then, of course, when I found out he was actually sleeping with my sister, I suddenly missed the time I was left in the dark.
I guess there’s only one thing for it. I’m going to need a Zoe-shaped distraction.
ME: I’ve got the day off. Fancy blowing off work to hang out?
ZOE: You know, now that you mention it, I have been feeling a little under the weather… ;)
ME: Usual place?
ZOE: See you in an hour!!!
I manage to spot Zoe easily among the crowd of half-asleep commuters thanks to her bright pink hair.
Zoe side-eyes a group of guys who have just walked in. “I had to practically wrestle with a finance bro to get this table.”
I grin as I shrug off my coat. “You’re terrifying, you know that?”
“I try.”
I leave Zoe to guard the table and go place our order. While I’m waiting for our drinks to be made, I pull out my phone and log into Cormac’s work calendar for what feels like the tenth time this morning.
At this point, I’m no longer feeling confused about his sudden disappearance. Actually, I’m pissed.
If he has decided to take a business trip, shouldn’t I be made aware of it? I am his assistant, after all.
Unless this is his way of phasing me out. He hasn’t exactly hidden the fact that he never wanted an assistant, and maybe even the sex isn’t worth keeping me around.
Great. Now I’m back to feeling deflated again.
I don’t know why I do this to myself. I’ve never been one for separating feelings from sex.
And yet I thought with Cormac it would be easy, considering the fact he’s never so much as smiled at me before.
But apparently, half a dozen orgasms are enough to turn on that particular switch in my brain that has me looking at Cormac with hearts in my eyes.
I’m pathetic.
“Uh oh.” Zoe sets down her cappuccino and banana bread in front of her.
“What?”
“You’ve got your sad face on.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Uh, yeah. You do.”
“This is my happy face. See?” I force a huge grin.
Zoe laughs. “That’s terrifying.”
I scowl.
“So, what’s with the random day off?”
I shrug as I pull my croissant toward me.
The smell of the buttery pastry has my mouth watering.
I can’t remember the last time I ate something that didn’t come from a takeout box or the vending machine at work.
Maybe I should expense this to Sullivan Industries to make up for it.
“Cormac’s away on business.”
“Oh, so it’s Cormac now?” Zoe teases.
“That is his name.”
“Not Mr. Sexy Boss Man.”
I mean, she’s not wrong…
“It’s just Cormac.”
“So, where did he go?”
“No idea.”
I realize my mistake the second the words leave my lips, and of course, Zoe picks up on it right away.
“What do you mean, you have no idea? I thought you were meant to be his assistant.”
“I am. This was a last-minute thing that happened overnight. I wasn’t aware of it.”
“Sounds like he really trusts you,” she mutters.
“You don’t know him,” I say without thinking.
Zoe looks taken aback before her face breaks out into a huge smile. “You slept with him, didn’t you?”
There’s no point in trying to lie, not when my face has turned the color of a ripe tomato.
I pull apart my croissant and quickly shove a piece in my mouth to buy me some time.
“Oh my god, you did! Fiona Callahan, I don’t know whether to be impressed or disgusted.”
“Uh, thanks?” I say with a mouthful of pastry.
“Fi, what’s going on? This whole situation…quitting your job and now sleeping with your boss? This isn’t you.”
She’s right. It’s not. But right now, I need to pretend that it is because the alternative is coming clean about Lorcan. And that’s not an option.
“I already explained about the job.”
“Okay, so explain to me about the fact that you’re dropping your panties in the middle of the workday.”
“Zoe…” I glance around at the nearby customers.
Thankfully, everyone still seems too half-asleep to take any notice of our conversation.
“What? You said so yourself, you’re sleeping with the guy, and I’m guessing it’s not after a nice long romantic dinner at the Ritz.”
“No…but?—”
“But what? Are you trying to gain something from this, is that it?”
I push my pastry away and glare at Zoe. “I thought you, of all people would be happy I’m getting out there.”
“Believe me, I am.”
“Tell that to your face.”
“Fi…”
“Don’t Fi me. I’ve listened to you tell me about all of your casual hookups, in excruciating detail, by the way, without judgment. And the second I tell you about mine, you act like I’ve committed a crime.”
“Because for you, you have!”
For a beat, we just stare at each other until Zoe lets out an exhale and reaches across the table to push my croissant back toward me.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“Are you giving me my own croissant as a peace offering?”
“Yes, but only because I know you don’t like banana bread.”
I roll my eyes but happily tear off a piece and pop it in my mouth.
“I’m just worried, that’s all. Guys like Cormac aren’t known for settling down.”
I think of the phone call I overheard and wonder if that’s true. Then again, he’s sleeping with me, so either he doesn’t have a girlfriend or he’s pretty lax about committing adultery.
My stomach sinks.
I really hope it’s the former. Because if it’s the latter, that would make me no better than Carly. And while I love my sister, I can’t forget how it feels to find out the guy you thought was the one was, in fact, sticking it in someone else on a regular basis.
I keep my gaze down. “What I have with Cormac is purely physical. It’s a way to blow off steam, that’s all.”
“I’m sure that’s not all you're blowing.”
“Zoe!”
“What? Oh, come on. You’re telling me that you’ve never once crawled under the desk while he’s on the phone and got him off?”
“No!”
Zoe smirks. “But you want to.”
My cheeks feel like they’re on fire from the image Zoe has just conjured in my mind.
Sex with Cormac is so different from anything I’ve experienced.
He’s pushed my boundaries further than any guy ever has, and instead of terrifying me, it’s only turned me on even more.
“I know this is out of character, but after the year I’ve had…
” I suck in a breath as I pull off another piece of pastry just to have something to do with my hands.
“Maybe that’s what I need. What I had with Freddy was enough to put me off relationships for life.
So, trust me. There’s no danger of me developing any sort of romantic feelings for Cormac. ”
When I’m with him, at that moment, I don’t have to think about anything. Not Carly or Joe or even Lorcan. For that time, I can focus on myself and let everything else go, and that’s a feeling I didn’t realize I have been missing until now.
“That makes me feel a little better.”
“Good.”
Zoe leans forward and looks at me eagerly. “So…what’s he like to work for?”
“Honestly? He’s an asshole.”
She sighs. “All the hot ones are. That’s what makes them extra hot.”
“He seems intent on trying to make me quit. I mean, the first day I showed up at nine, which I thought was a reasonable time, by the way, he lost his shit. Said he expected me at seven.”
“In the morning? Does he not realize it takes time to look hot? For most of us, it doesn’t come naturally.” She flicks her pink ponytail over her shoulder.
“Now I arrive at six-thirty just to prove a point.”
Zoe laughs. “I love that. But seriously, Fi. You must be one hell of a good lay if he’s kept you on for a week.”
“Maybe… But honestly, I think it’s just turned into a battle of wills. He’s trying his hardest to break me, and I refuse to let him.”
Zoe wraps her hands around her coffee cup. “Tell me something. Whose idea was it to have sex?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how did it happen? Did you just stroll into his office one day and whip off your bra?”
“He kissed me.”
“Seriously? You’re telling me Cormac Sullivan, the man who, from the sounds of it, could easily pass for a robot, was the one to make the first move?”
I laugh. “Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are. But afterwards, he said it could never happen again.”
“So, naturally, he took you to his bed.”
“Technically, we’ve never made it to a bed. We did it against the window last night,” I say a little smugly before sipping on my matcha.
“If this floor wasn’t so disgusting, I would get on my knees and bow to you, my friend.”
I laugh. “I appreciate that.”
“Then I guess we should hit Macy’s and find you some ridiculously sexy office attire for when he returns.”
I smile. “It couldn’t hurt.”
“Maybe he’ll throw in a raise as well as an orgasm.”
It’s almost five o’clock by the time I arrive back home.
My arms are aching from carrying so many shopping bags, but I haven’t been able to stop smiling all day.
Spending time with Zoe really lifted my spirits, and I can’t lie, it felt good to treat myself to some new clothes now that I don’t have to anxiously check my bank account every time I dare to buy a coffee.
I force myself to hang up all of my new skirts and dresses before they get too creased and take a long, hot shower, exfoliating and shaving every inch of my body just in case Cormac decides he wants me to stay late tomorrow. The thought sends a thrill through me.
It’s been less than twenty-four hours, and already I’m craving his touch. I know this is bad, but sex with Cormac is just too good for me to care about the consequences, and if it helps me pay off my debt to Lorcan, then that’s a bonus.
After stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around myself and pad into my bedroom, where I light a few candles and turn on the twinkle lights above my bed. I’m excited to climb between the sheets and actually fall asleep before midnight for once.
I throw on a pair of fresh pajamas and go to retrieve some cookie dough ice cream that I keep in the freezer for nights just like this.
With a pint of ice cream in one hand and a can of whipped cream in the other, because I’m feeling extra fancy, I head back into my bedroom and climb into bed, ready for a few hours of uninterrupted trashy TV time.
Setting my supplies down on the bedside table, I pick up my phone to check that my alarm is set and see a new message on the screen.
CORMAC: Don’t wear underwear tomorrow.
Suddenly, the thought of getting up at five a.m. doesn’t sound too bad.