22. Fiona
Chapter Twenty-Two
FIONA
It’s too late to back out now.
I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder as I ride the elevator up to the penthouse.
Today, I am officially moving into Cormac’s apartment, which is not something I ever thought I would do.
In the space of two weeks, my life has done a full one-eighty, but I have a horrible feeling it’s not going to calm down any time soon, especially, considering I’m about to become roommates with a five-year-old.
Does Lorcan know about Scout?
“Stop it,” I snap at myself.
If I thought my guilty conscience was bad before, it’s nothing compared to what it is now that I know a child is involved.
Surely, Lorcan isn’t that much of a monster that he is considering hurting Scout?
Who am I kidding? This is Lorcan Sullivan we’re talking about. As long as blood is shed, he doesn’t care where it comes from.
The elevator doors slide open, and I quickly plaster a smile on my face as Cormac appears on the stairs, looking his usual tense self.
“Hey, roomie,” I say, suddenly feeling awkward. “Where’s Scout?”
“Watching a movie in his room. I figured you would want to unpack in peace.”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.”
Cormac snatches up my suitcases as if they weigh nothing. “I’ll show you to your room.”
The fact that he is carrying my suitcases filled to the brim with clothes and beauty products without so much as breaking a sweat is impressive. I guess his muscles aren’t just for show.
Cormac turns right at the top of the stairs and heads down a long corridor. “Your room is on the opposite side of the apartment from mine and Scout’s. And you have your own bathroom, so there’s full privacy.”
“Pretty sure we’re past privacy at this point,” I joke, considering the fact he’s seen me naked multiple times.
Cormac’s shoulders tense, and he abruptly drops the suitcases on the floor and turns to face me, his expression almost thunderous.
He looks down at me. “I need to make one thing very clear. From here on out, we need to keep things professional with Scout here.”
My pulse quickens as I stare up at him.
I can see it in his eyes that he wants to keep things anything but professional, but as much as I want to unzip his pants and drop to my knees, we need to keep some sort of boundary in place.
Regardless of what we both want or need, Scout has to come first.
It’s exactly how I feel about Amber and Skye. I might despise their father, but my own feelings have to come second. It’s just a shame Joe doesn’t seem to have the same restraint as Cormac.
“O-okay.”
“Good.” Cormac’s gaze flicks to my lips.
It’s only for a brief second, barely long enough for me to catch, but I do.
Now that I know I can’t, I want nothing more than to kiss him. It’s been days since I last felt his lips on my skin, and my body knows it from how it is screaming at me.
“Come on,” Cormac says gruffly as he picks up my bags and carries them into the room at the far end of the corridor.
“Oh, my god,” I gasp as I step inside the room and take a look around.
“Sorry, I know it’s a bit plain.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…it’s the size of my entire apartment! The bed alone wouldn’t even fit.”
“You can blame Kieran for that. This was his apartment before he got married.”
“So, the monochrome metal decor isn’t your particular aesthetic?” I run my finger over the weird-looking piece of art in the center of the dresser.
“Not really. I just haven’t gotten around to redecorating.”
“Is that code for, ‘Fiona, will you please be my interior designer as well as my nanny and assistant’?” I glance over my shoulder and grin at Cormac.
“If redecorating makes the place feel more comfortable for you, be my guest.”
Once again, Cormac Sullivan has my jaw hitting the floor.
I spin around and gape at him in complete disbelief.
“What?” he asks.
“Why am I here, Cormac?”
“What do you mean? You know why you’re here.”
“But…why me?”
Cormac exhales as he perches on the end of the bed.
I fight the urge to scream at him to stand up. I don’t need any visuals of him anywhere near my bed seared into my memory.
“You’ve proven yourself to be capable, and…you’re the only person I trust,” he admits without looking at me.
I blink.
This is one hell of a compliment coming from Cormac. But it also tells me a lot about his relationships with his brothers.
I could tell things were strained at dinner the other night, but I put it down to nerves regarding Scout. Only, maybe the Sullivan brothers are less united than I initially thought.
I need to lighten the mood. “How’s Riley? Has she had the baby?”
Cormac shakes his head as he rubs his hands up and down his thighs.
Seriously, does he not realize what he’s doing to me?
“Not yet. Apparently, it was false labor, but she’s been admitted, and if she doesn’t go into labor naturally in the next twenty-four hours, they’re going to induce her.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.”
When Cormac doesn’t say anything, I fiddle with the hem of my sweater and add, “Well, I should probably unpack.”
“Right. Well, I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.” He gets to his feet.
I press myself up against the wall as he passes so I don’t risk any part of me touching him. I don’t need the temptation.
But of course, I catch a waft of his earthy cologne, and I have to swallow a moan.
God, he smells so good.
Cormac freezes, and for a horrible second, I wonder if I’ve actually spoken my thoughts out loud as he stares down at me.
My breath catches as I wait for him to cross the line, to say to hell with the professional boundary and push me up against the wall and kiss me.
But then he’s gone, and I’m finally alone.
I sigh before collapsing onto the bed. “This is going to be torture.”
It doesn’t take long for my clothes to cover every inch of floor space while I try to decide where to put everything.
Cormac has given me enough closet space for Zoe and me combined.
I decide to use the top shelves as a way to store the expensive decor so the room feels less like a museum.
I carry my toiletries into the ensuite bathroom and almost drop the entire thing on the marble floor.
If I thought the bedroom was massive, the bathroom is on another level.
I have an enormous waterfall shower as well as a jacuzzi bathtub and two sinks.
What the hell am I going to do with two sinks? Would it be too extra to use one to brush my teeth and the other purely for hand washing?
I’m about to text a picture of them to Zoe to get her opinion when my phone lights up with a picture of her smiling face that I took at graduation last year.
“Speak of the devil.” I answer the call.
“What did you just call me?”
I laugh. “You were being a mind reader again. I was just thinking about you.”
“Maybe your apartment knows I'm here and sent you some weird cosmic signal.”
My stomach drops. “You’re at my apartment?”
It’s not unusual for Zoe to let herself in when I’m not there. My place is closer to her work, so she likes to turn it into her own personal dressing room before heading out for drinks or dancing.
The only problem is that I haven’t told her that I’m no longer living there. At least, not for the time being.
“I came to drop off a dress I borrowed.”
“You borrowed a dress? When?”
“The other week. You weren’t home, and I figured you wouldn’t mind. Anyway, that’s not why I called. Do you want to tell me where the hell all your stuff is?”
“It’s with me.”
“So, where the hell are you?”
“Uh…” I glance around the bathroom and cringe.
Zoe is not going to like the answer to that question, but there’s no way I can hide it from her.
“I’m…at Cormac’s.”
“Cormac’s?”
“Yeah…”
“As in your boss, Cormac?”
“How many other Cormacs do I know?”
“For all I know, you could know a hundred, considering the fact that we don’t seem to tell each other shit anymore.”
“Well, I just know the one, and he needs me to be here for the time being. It was sort of a last-minute thing.”
“So what, he snaps his fingers, and you come running? That sounds like a super healthy working relationship to me.”
“Don’t worry, I have everything under control.”
“Do you? Because from where I’m standing, it doesn’t look like it.”
“Gee, thanks, Zoe.” I perch on the edge of the bathtub.
“You know what I mean. This has all just…come out of nowhere. You need to give me a second to catch up.” Zoe is quiet for a beat. “Why don’t we have lunch this week, and you can give me all the dirt on Cormac. I bet he’s the type to leave his socks all over the apartment.”
“Actually, I have a feeling he’s a complete neat freak.”
“Urgh, I don’t know if that’s worse.”
“I’ll have to let you know.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll let you go, and call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Zoe.”
“Love you, Fi.”
After hanging up the phone, I exhale as I walk back into my room.
It’s so different from the one I left behind. The lack of color and pictures on the walls suddenly makes me feel homesick even though I’m barely a ten-minute Uber ride from my apartment.
And this isn’t forever. It’s over once Lorcan has gotten what he’s wanted.
I just have to hope that happens without Cormac finding out. Otherwise, I’ll be losing a lot more than just my job.
A few hours later, I’m relaxing on the bed, scrolling on my phone when a faint knock sounds at the door.
I quickly shut off my phone and sit up, wondering if it’s Cormac. “Come in!”
The door opens, and Scout’s face appears around the edge.
“Hey Scout. Is everything okay?”
“Daddy wanted me to tell you dinner is ready.”
It’s still taking a bit of getting used to hearing a small child refer to Cormac as Daddy.
“Perfect timing, I’ve just finished unpacking.”
Scout looks around the room and frowns.
“What is it?”
“There aren’t any dinosaurs.”
I chuckle. “No, I guess there aren’t.”
“You can borrow one from my room if you like? They help me sleep.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“They keep away the bad dreams.”
“Then I definitely need one,” I mutter.
As I follow behind Scout back down the hall, I catch a waft of something delicious heading up the stairs.
I moan. “That smells incredible.”
“It’s Daddy’s famous spaghetti and meatballs. It’s my favorite.”
I laugh. “I think it’s about to be mine too.”
We find Cormac in the kitchen, plating up three huge portions of food.
Immediately, my stomach growls, and my cheeks flood with color.
His dark eyes twinkle. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“Starving.”
Even though this isn’t the first time the three of us have shared a meal, it’s the first time we’ve shared one alone. It feels weirdly intimate, but within seconds of sitting down at the table, my nerves disappear as Scout eagerly hijacks the conversation.
“No more talking until you’ve eaten some more food.” Cormac catches my eye across the table, and I fight a smile as Scout quickly shovels spaghetti into his mouth.
“So, I already know that your favorite food is spaghetti and meatballs, and your favorite book is The Complete Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs. Hmm…what else do I need to know?”
Scout grins at me, the lower half of his face completely covered in tomato sauce.
I smile at him. “I know. What is your favorite thing in the world to do?”
Scout screws up his face in concentration as he stares down at his plate.
My eyes flick briefly to Cormac, who is watching his son with a mixture of pride and sadness on his face.
“I love rockets!” Scout suddenly exclaims.
Cormac nods. “It’s true, he does.”
“More than dinosaurs?” I feign horror.
He tilts his little head. “Well, I can’t actually become a dinosaur. But I can become an astronaut.”
“An astronaut? Whoa, that’s pretty cool.”
“It’s what I want to be when I grow up so I can fly up to the sky and visit my mom.”
I steal a glance at Cormac, who immediately tenses.
I’m desperate to know the details of his relationship with Scout’s mother, not out of jealousy, but out of a morbid sort of curiosity.
Cormac is the opposite of an open book and seems allergic to any form of intimacy outside of casual sex. So, the fact that he managed to have a relationship with someone long enough to procreate kind of fascinates me. But of course, I know better than to ask any sort of personal questions.
Cormac mutters, “I think it’s time for bed, bud. Go and brush your teeth, and I’ll come in and read you a story.”
“But I want Fiona to read me a story. She hasn’t gotten to the best part of my dinosaur book yet.”
I tense as I catch a flash of annoyance in Cormac’s eyes, but it’s gone within a blink.
“We can read it another time—” I start, but Cormac shakes his head.
He gets to his feet and presses a quick kiss to Scout’s forehead. “It’s fine. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
I watch him walk away, wondering whether or not I should say something. I’m nothing more than a novelty that will wear off in a couple of days. My nieces are exactly like this, or at least they were when I used to go over and visit them.
I push back from the table and get to my feet. “Come on, then, Scout. Let’s get you upstairs.”
But what I want is to yell after Cormac that Scout choosing me to read to him doesn’t mean anything.
Then again, from the look on his face, highlighting the fact might only make things worse.