28. Cormac
Chapter Twenty-Eight
CORMAC
“Fuck,” I slam the door to my office.
That’s twice now in a matter of days where I’ve let my emotions run wild, and Fiona has been left bearing the brunt of my bad mood.
If I don’t get it together, she’s going to walk, and I can’t afford to let her go.
Not just because she’s good with Scout, but because somewhere along the way, she became something I’m not ready to lose.
Fiona has avoided me all day, and after putting Scout to bed, I came downstairs ready to talk everything out, only to find that she’s locked herself away in her room.
I can’t really blame her. I acted like a complete ass in the park, but can she really blame me?
When I came back to the penthouse to pick up my laptop and found the place deserted, I panicked. I just wish Fiona could see that beneath all the anger I aimed at her was a crippling fear of losing my son.
Normally, when I feel like this, completely consumed by my intrusive thoughts about what Adrian Smirnov could do to Scout, I turn inwards and push the feelings down until they’re buried so deep that I no longer feel them.
But I think of Scout’s face when I yelled at Fiona, and my heart sinks. I never want him to see me like that again.
I know what it’s like to grow up with a father who took his emotions out on everyone around him, it’s one of the reasons I left New York in the first place.
And the thought of Scout needing to move to the other side of the world in order to escape me is enough to get me pulling out my phone and calling Brennan.
“Cormac!”
“Are you busy?”
“I’m never busy for you, brother. What’s up?”
His chipper tone has me fighting the urge to hang up the phone.
I need someone to talk some sense into me, but I don’t want to bother Ronan and Kieran when they have families of their own to deal with. So, I guess I’m going to be asking my little brother for advice for the first time in my life.
“I…need some advice.”
Brennan is quiet for a beat. “You fucked Fiona, didn’t you?”
My teeth grind as I stalk over to my desk and take a seat.
“We’ve spent some time together, yes,” I grit out.
I can’t believe I’m admitting this to Brennan of all people, but there’s no avoiding it. When it comes to Fiona, sex is now a part of the equation. And as good as it is, it complicates things.
“Good for you, Cormac. You needed a good lay.”
“I didn’t call you so you could congratulate me.”
“So, you’re calling to boast?”
“No.”
“Ah, so you need me to tell you where the clitoris is.”
I run a hand over my face as my temper rises. “I’m calling because I keep putting my fucking foot in my mouth.”
“How so?”
“Every time things are going well, I just…explode.”
“And I’m guessing not in a good way.”
“Brennan.”
He laughs. “You walked right into that one. But in all seriousness, it sounds like you’re more into Fiona than you want to admit.”
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“Are you sure about that? Because you just admitted that every time things are going well, you do or say something to sabotage it.”
“I…”
I let Brennan’s words sink in. I hate to admit it, but I think my little brother might actually have a point.
The idea of getting close to someone scares the shit out of me, but can anyone really blame me? What happened to Nadia completely shattered me, and I’ve spent the last five years slowly piecing myself back together.
“I don’t want Scout getting attached.”
“You mean, you don’t want to get attached.”
“I didn’t call you for a lecture.”
“Well, you’re getting one because you’re being a dumbass. Fiona is hot and nice and seems to actually like you for some insane reason, so you would be an idiot to fuck it up just because you have attachment issues.”
“When did you become the resident therapist of the family?” I grumble.
“Since Ronan and Kieran decided to settle down. It seems the Sullivan men aren’t great at having healthy relationships with women.”
“No shit.”
“Look, it’s clear that you and Fiona have something good going on.”
“It is?”
“You didn’t exactly hide it at the dinner the other night.”
Well, shit.
“It’s about time you let yourself be happy, not just for you, but for Scout too.”
“But—”
“Why don’t I look after Scout one night so you and Fiona can have some proper alone time? Go book yourself into a hotel and have all the hot sex you like and actually talk.”
I want nothing more than to have an uninterrupted night with Fiona in a fancy hotel, but I have a feeling that’s the last thing she wants.
“After how I treated her earlier, I don’t think she would agree to go.”
“You must have fucked up big time.”
I rub my jaw. “Yeah. Besides, I’m not sure if I trust you to look after Scout.”
“Excuse me? I am an awesome uncle.”
“Who promises to buy my kid whatever he wants.”
“Of course. That’s what uncles are for.”
“Well, I hope you upped your credit limit because, apparently, my son has very expensive taste.”
“That’s what Ronan’s card is for.” Brennan laughs. “But seriously, book the hotel and maybe a fancy restaurant for dinner. Girls love all that crap, the flowers and champagne. Stop being a grumpy ass for a night and woo the shit out of her.”
“So poetic. Remind me again why you’re single?”
“I’m single by choice, brother. I like to keep my options open.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“I sleep just fine, don’t you worry. I’ll be over around six to help look after your spawn.”
I heave a sigh. “Okay, and Brennan?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
The next morning, I head to the office to catch up on all the work I missed yesterday before either Scout or Fiona wakes up. I decided to take Brennan’s advice for once and book a suite at the Plaza, as well as make reservations at an exclusive sushi restaurant downtown.
The only problem is that I still haven’t told Fiona because I don’t think my ego could take the hit if she turns me down. Even if I only have myself to blame if she does.
I arrive home just after six to find Brennan lounging on the couch with Scout beside him, the pair of them glued to some game on his tablet. Neither of them glances my way as I step out of the elevator, but Fiona does.
She’s leaning against the kitchen island, sipping on a mug of tea as she frowns at Brennan.
Fuck. I was hoping I would have time to talk to Fiona before Brennan arrived. I really hope he didn’t shoot his mouth off and give away my plans for this evening.
“Fiona, can we talk?” I ask under my breath.
She doesn’t look at me. “Apparently, Brennan is babysitting.”
It’s the first words she’s spoken to me since the park, and it’s clear she’s still pissed from the ice in her tone.
If I manage to get her to agree to come to dinner with me tonight, it will be a miracle.
“Yes, he is.”
“I thought that’s why I was here?”
“Tonight, you won’t be.” I leave no room for argument.
Fiona’s brows shoot up as she finally looks at me.
Even when she’s furious, those blue eyes still steal the breath from my lungs.
“Why?”
I shoot Brennan a look to silently tell him to leave us to it.
“Uh… Come on, Scout. Why don’t you show me your room?”
“Okay, but it’s not finished yet because my racecar bed hasn’t arrived yet.”
Brennan gawks at me. “You’re getting this kid a racecar bed?”
“Just…go upstairs,” I say through gritted teeth.
“You have no idea how lucky you’ve got it, kid.” Brennan sighs as he follows Scout up the stairs, finally leaving Fiona and me alone.
Fiona folds her arms over her chest. “Cormac, what is going on?”
“You and I are going out.”
“Where?”
“That’s for me to know. So, go and pack something nice to wear for dinner.”
“Pack?”
“Yes.”
“Why would I need to pack?”
“Because we’re not coming back here tonight.”
Fiona gapes at me as if I’ve just grown another head.
“You’re kidding, right? After how you spoke to me yesterday, you must be crazy to think I would go anywhere with you.”
I exhale a breath as I perch on the arm of the couch.
“I’m sorry for losing my temper like that. It never should have happened.”
“No, it shouldn’t have.”
“When I came home and found the apartment empty, I just…panicked. I didn’t think to check my phone to see if you messaged.
And then when I saw you out the window in the park…
Fuck, I’m sorry. I hate how I treated you, and I hate it even more that it happened in front of Scout.
I never want him to see that side of me, or you, for that matter. ”
“But I did.”
“I know. When it comes to Scout, I lose any ability to think rationally. If anything were to happen to him… I would never forgive myself. I know that’s not an excuse, but I hope you can see how sorry I am.”
I look up at Fiona, and her expression finally softens.
“I know that, which is why I would never put him in danger. And it hurt that you thought I would.”
“Logically, I know that you would never knowingly put him in danger. But there is so much you don’t know, so many dangers that you can’t see?—”
“Then tell me!”
I shake my head. “Not right now because tonight, I want to make it up to you. So, will you please go upstairs and pack?”
Fiona looks at me for a beat, and I can see every unspoken question in her eyes. But instead of pushing me on the subject, she drops her arms to her sides and lets out a fake sigh of annoyance.
“So bossy…”
I let out a breath of relief as I watch her disappear up the stairs.
Thirty minutes later, our overnight bags are packed, and we’re on our way to the Plaza, though Fiona doesn’t know that.
“You’re seriously not going to tell me where we’re going?” Fiona asks from the passenger seat of my Aston Martin.
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
“You know, I think this might be some huge ploy to kidnap me.”
“What? By luring you out of the house by promising you a fancy dinner?”
“Ah, so we’re going somewhere fancy?”
I roll my eyes. “If you ask one more question, I’m going to turn the car around and then you’ll never find out what I have planned.”
That does the trick. Fiona settles back into her seat and looks out of the window at the city as I take us further downtown.
When I stop at a red light, I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and quickly check that the ringer is on.
“That’s the third time you’ve done that,” Fiona comments.
I tuck the phone back into my pocket. “Is it?”
“I’m surprised you’re leaving Scout for the night, and even more so that it’s with Brennan.”
“Trust me, I’m not thrilled about it. But it turns out, trusting people might not be so bad after all.” I glance over at her.
Her lips twitch with the hint of a smile, but she quickly looks out of the window to avoid my gaze.
She’s clearly overthinking, but I don’t push her on it because I am, too.
I’m not exactly sure what this is between me and Fiona, but one thing I do know is that we need to take things slow if this has any chance of turning into something real.
Like me, Fiona clearly carries a lot of baggage, but it’s not enough to scare me off.
If anything, it’s making me want to dive headfirst into the fire.