31. Fiona
Chapter Thirty-One
FIONA
It turns out that teaching is not my strong suit. I appreciate why Cormac is hesitant to put Scout into a public school, but putting his education in my hands feels like too great a responsibility.
“Are we done yet?” Scout grumbles.
I push the worksheet toward him. “You need to finish writing out these letters first.”
“But they’re boring.”
He’s not wrong, but I’ve run out of ways to bribe Scout that don’t involve chocolate chips or pancakes.
“You know, if you want to be an astronaut, you’re going to have to learn your letters.”
Scout pouts. “But astronauts don’t need to write. They just float around in space.”
I let out a sigh. “If you do your letters, I’ll make you pancakes for lunch.”
Scout's face lights up, and he immediately starts working through his alphabet.
“And if your dad asks, we ate them with a salad?—”
The elevator doors open.
I glance up to find Ronan and Brennan storming out, both wearing expressions that turn my blood to ice.
I’m on my feet in an instant. “What’s going on?”
Ronan glances around. “Is Cormac back?”
“N-no. He’s at the office.” My pulse spikes. “Should he be here? Has something happened to him?”
“We must have beaten him to it,” Brennan mutters.
“Uncle Brennan!” Scout abandons his worksheet and jumps down from his seat to launch himself at Brennan.
“How’s my favorite nephew?” Brennan laughs, though I can tell it’s forced from the way his smile doesn’t meet his eyes.
Ronan glances my way. “Is Kieran meeting us?”
I shrug. “Scout and I are the only ones here. Seriously, what’s going on?”
Brennan raises a brow. “I’d like to know the answer to that too.”
Just then, the elevator opens once more, and Cormac appears.
He’s deathly pale, and his eyes are frantic as he scans the room for Scout.
The second he spots him, his entire body sags with relief, but mine doesn’t.
If anything, it only puts me more on edge.
I’ve never seen Cormac look so…rattled.
What the hell has happened?
“Scout, come here,” Cormac orders, though his voice shakes.
Brennan puts Scout down, and Cormac instantly scoops him up into his arms.
“Daddy, I can’t breathe,” Scout chokes, but Cormac doesn’t seem to listen.
He only hugs his son tighter, as if he’s worried he might disappear.
Normally, I would find such a sight heartwarming, but right now it only terrifies me.
“Cormac?” Ronan presses.
Cormac gives Scout one last squeeze before setting him back down.
Scout simply laughs, finding nothing but humor in the fact his father is acting strange, but again, it only makes my stomach sink.
He looks at Ronan and Brennan. “Go on up. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Scout, you can have some tablet time,” I whisper in Scout’s ear as Brennan and Ronan head up the stairs.
“No more lessons!” Scout snatches his tablet off the table and throws himself onto the couch.
“Cormac, what’s going on?” I ask once Scout is safely occupied.
“Nothing.” He reaches out to cup my chin.
“Say that to your face. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Cormac noticeably flinches, which immediately has alarm bells ringing in my head.
“Cormac, what is going on?”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing.”
“I’ve got everything under control. I just need you to focus on Scout. Can you do that for me?”
“Of course, but?—”
“I can’t explain right now. But I don’t want you to worry, ok? You’re safe here.”
I frown.
What does he mean, I’m safe here? Does that mean I’m not safe outside of the penthouse?
I don’t get a chance to press for more details as Cormac disappears upstairs to join his brothers. I stand frozen, staring after him, my thoughts already spiraling out of control.
I need to know what’s going on. And if Cormac won’t tell me, then I’m just going to have to find out for myself.
“Scout, I need you to stay put for a second, ok?”
He nods without looking away from his tablet. I hover just to make sure he’s definitely distracted before tiptoeing up the stairs and down the hall to Cormac’s office.
I can hear the low murmuring of Ronan’s voice, so I hold my breath and press my ear against the door.
“You’re sure about this?”
“Mitch confirmed it. Hence why I didn’t want to have this conversation outside of these four walls. Someone inside Sullivan Investments is feeding information to Lorcan and has been doing so for a while.”
He knows.
I don’t know how, but Cormac knows that there’s a spy, which means it’s only a matter of time before he learns it’s me.
And then what? Will he kill me? Or will he leave that up to Lorcan?
My legs almost give out as I imagine what Lorcan will have in store for me if he learns my cover has been blown.
I want to run. I want to get the hell out of this penthouse, but nothing screams guilty like making a break for it.
So, where do I go from here? Do I tell Cormac the truth or do I warn Lorcan that Cormac is onto him?
No. I can’t tell Lorcan. That would imply that my loyalty is with him. Then again, he is the one who is holding my life in his hands. If he finds out I knew the Sullivan brothers were onto him?—
“Fiona, I’m hungry.”
I practically jump out of my skin at the sound of Scout’s voice. I whirl around to find him at the top of the stairs, watching me curiously.
My heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest.
The last thing I need is for Cormac to find me eavesdropping, so I quickly tiptoe away from the door.
“Let’s go.” I turn Scout around and guide him back down the stairs.
I grab an apple and a jar of peanut butter to start making Scout a snack, but my hands are shaking so badly I can barely cut the apple into slices.
“Do you think Uncle Brennan will want to play Mario Kart?” Scout asks.
I glance nervously at the stairs. “I’m not sure. I think they’re working right now.”
“Work is so boring.”
“Eat your apple, and then you can have some more tablet time.”
Right now, I need Scout distracted because I can’t focus on anything other than the ticking time bomb that is my relationship with Cormac.
I need to tell him the truth about why I’m here before he finds out from someone else.
But how?
Cormac and his brothers don’t surface from his office until long after the sun has gone down and Scout is in bed.
I was in half a mind to knock on the door and ask if they wanted something to eat or maybe a pot of coffee just to have an excuse to find more information, but I was terrified that Cormac would see the guilt in my eyes.
So, like a coward, I hide away in my room once my Scout duties are finished for the day.
My heart hasn’t stopped pounding in my chest, and I feel mentally exhausted from running circles in my head about what to tell Cormac.
The fact that he didn’t come storming out of his office demanding answers means he’s still in the dark about the fact I’m the spy, but for how much longer, I can’t be certain.
Eventually, a knock sounds at my bedroom door, and I immediately know it’s Cormac.
For a beat, I wonder if I should just pretend to be asleep, but then the door quietly opens, and the light from the hall spills into the room.
“Fiona?”
“Hey,” I mumble as I sit up.
“Did I wake you?”
“I was just…resting.”
Or spiraling.
“Sorry I missed dinner. I didn’t expect the meeting to run so long.”
“I was going to bring you some food, but I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
Cormac’s expression softens as he comes to sit on the bed.
I suck a breath as he reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’m sorry for not giving you or Scout nearly enough attention.”
Part of me wishes he was still the Cormac who treated me like crap during my first few days working at Sullivan Investments because it would make it so much easier to shut off my feelings for him.
But this version, the one who looks at me as if I’m his whole world, makes me feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
“I think Scout was more upset that Brennan didn’t come over purely to play video games with him,” I say, and Cormac chuckles.
My eyes flutter closed as I savor the sound. I wish I could bottle it up and listen to it on repeat.
“What are you thinking about?” he murmurs as he strokes my cheek.
“How much I love it when you laugh.”
“Yeah?”
I reach out to stroke my fingers along his stubbled jaw. “You’re so serious all the time. It makes it even more special when I see you smile.”
“You have yourself to thank for that.” He leans in and brushes his lips against mine.
This is the last thing we should be doing.
After what I heard today, being with Cormac almost feels like torture, knowing that it could be the last time. But that only makes me need him more.
So, I kiss him back, silently begging him to take it further because I need more than just his lips on my skin.
We don’t talk. Instead, we slowly peel away our clothes until there’s nothing between us.
I lie back against the pillows and spread my thighs so Cormac can settle himself between them.
The small amount of light casts his face in shadow, and I trace the hard lines of his jaw and cheek as he slowly sinks inside me.
He swallows my gasp of pleasure with his mouth, slowly stroking his tongue against mine as he starts to move.
His thrusts are slow and unhurried, as if we have all the time in the world. But that only makes it more torturous because I know that can’t be true.
Our time is running out.
“Cormac,” I choke.
“I’m right here,” he murmurs against my mouth. “You’re safe.”
I bury my face in his neck as he pumps his hips faster, trying to hold back tears at the thought of letting this man go. But despite all the pain I know I’m going to put both of us through, I wouldn’t change the past because it all led me to him.
When I finally climax, my skin is slick with sweat, and my breathing is ragged.
Cormac sinks his hand into my hair and holds me against him as he spills inside me.
Once he slides free, he moves onto his side and pulls me against him, enveloping me in the warmth of his body.
“That was perfect.” I take his face in my hands and kiss him softly.
“Sweetheart, are you crying?”
I hastily wipe at my cheeks and find them wet with tears. I hadn’t even realized I had been crying, but I can’t seem to stop.
“Fi, talk to me.”
The word is soft, almost a whisper, and I freeze.
“What?”
“You called me Fi.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess I did…”
“Only Zoe and Carly call me that. Or rather, she did…”
“You don’t want me to call you Fi?”
I shake my head, a shaky laugh breaking through my tears. “I’ve wanted you to call me that since the night you took me out to dinner.” I look up into Cormac’s eyes.
I watch his throat bob as he gazes down at me.
“Then I’m calling you that, always.”
Always.
The word hangs in the air like a quiet promise, one that I know neither of us will be able to keep.
“Can I tell you something?” he asks.
I try to stay relaxed even though my heart feels like it’s being cracked open.
“You can tell me anything.”
“Being with you… I haven’t felt anything like this in a long time…” His eyes are on me. So deep and intense. Like he is seeing all the way to my soul. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m falling hard for you, Fiona Callahan. I don’t expect you to say anything?—”
“I’m falling for you too,” I force a smile so he doesn’t see the agony on my face that his words bring me.
“Really?”
“Really,” I sigh before leaning in to kiss him.
Even if what we have blows up in our faces, I need him to know how I feel. I need him to know that among all the lies and the secrets, my feelings for him have been nothing but the truth.