Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Rowan and I entered the genetics lab. I spotted Teagan hunched over a microscope, recording something on the notepad beside her.
In her email, she’d said helping me was no big deal since she needed so many research hours for her master’s, and insisted the more hands-on experiments she did, the better.
“Rowan, what are you doing here?” Teagan asked.
“Laney is one of my good friends,” he replied. “I’m here to hang out with her. Just ignore me.”
I liked that he considered us friends. Now that I was toiling over the word, I knew it was true. We’d moved into the friendship zone. We were hovering there. Where we went from here was still to be determined.
I unzipped my backpack and pulled out the two baggies holding my parents’ toothbrushes. “Here,” I said, handing them over to Teagan. “Hopefully, there’s enough saliva or cheek cells to extract their DNA.”
“We’ll find out,” Teagan said, standing and taking the baggies. “Now I need your DNA.”
I went over to the cabinet and got a cotton stick and swabbed my cheek.
Rowan sat at one of the tables and pulled out a book. He started reading, letting me work with Teagan without hovering. It was probably obvious to him what I was doing, but I was thankful he didn’t come out and ask me about it.
Teagan took the toothbrushes and dipped each one in a tube, extracting the DNA. I did the same with my cotton swab. Then we put the tubes into the machine.
“Basically, we’re going to check to see if you share enough DNA markers from each parent,” Teagan said. “It’ll take a couple of hours.” She checked her watch. “I’m running another experiment until eleven. You’re welcome to hang out here, or you can come back.”
“Thank you for doing this.” I could have done this at my mom’s lab, but then she would have known what I was doing. Until I had the results, I didn’t want either of my parents to know I was questioning them and everything I’d been told.
“Can I ask you something?” Teagan said, her voice low and barely audible over the purring of the machines.
“Sure.” I sat on one of the lab stools.
“I know this is none of my business, but are you ready for the results?”
If my parents were my parents, I was ready.
If they weren’t, then no, I wasn’t ready.
I had no idea what I’d do with that information.
That, coupled with the insulin not being insulin and me not being fully human, well, I’d probably lose it.
It already seemed as if I stood atop a steep cliff, the wind blowing, trying to knock me off.
It was only a matter of time until I fell.
“I need to know,” I replied. But needing to know was different than being ready to face the outcome.
“Then I guess it’s a good thing you brought a friend with you.” She nodded her head toward Rowan.
The word friend wasn’t quite right. While we were friends, we also shared an intense physical connection. I didn’t ever think we could just be friends.
“I need to get back to my other project,” she said.
I went over to where Rowan was sitting and joined him. “It’s going to be a few hours.”
He looked up from his book, his eyes on mine. “Okay.”
I wanted to make sure no one tinkered with the samples. “I’m going to stay, but you can go.”
He lifted his bag off the floor, plopping it onto the table. “Then let’s start studying.”
Smiling, I pulled out my laptop and books and got to work.
For the next three hours, we sat there studying. It was nice to have something to keep me occupied so I didn’t stress over my paternity test. Or the fact that freaking Rowan Ward was sitting next to me.
A ding resounded through the lab, making me jump.
Teagan stood. “The machine is done.” She went over and removed the samples, studying them. Her head tilted to the side, but I couldn’t see her face. “Why don’t you read the results for yourself?”
Rowan rubbed my back. “You’ve got this.”
I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and went over to where Teagan was standing beside the machine.
There were three DNA samples. Two of the lines aligned and one didn’t.
My heart started pounding. My mom was sample M, my dad was sample D, and I was sample L.
Samples M and L aligned, indicating that my mother was my mother.
I exhaled, thankful for that connection.
But sample D didn’t align with mine. Which meant my dad wasn’t my biological father. My eyes filled with tears.
I tried to think rationally. My mom had gotten pregnant in college.
Maybe my biological dad didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
Or me for that matter. Maybe she didn’t know who the father was.
There were a ton of plausible reasons. I’d have to ask my mom and give her the chance to tell me the truth.
The part that hurt the most was that they’d lied about it. They should have told me. This only made everything worse since it was apparent they were lying about multiple things.
“There’s something wrong,” Teagan said. “Look at your DNA.”
“Hey, Teag,” Rowan said, gaining her attention. “Can you come here and help me with this?”
“Sure,” she replied, leaving me standing there with the three samples.
I looked closer at sample L. Some of the markers didn’t look right. There were some extra sequences. The machine had flagged a couple of parts as unknown. When I’d tested my DNA previously, I’d gotten a not human origin.
My hands started shaking. I didn’t know what I was, but I knew no one could find out I wasn’t fully human. I went over to the hazard waste compartment and shoved the samples inside.
“Are you okay?” Teagan asked, coming back over to the machine to shut it down.
“Yes,” I lied. “Thank you for doing this.” Hopefully, she forgot the part about my DNA being weird.
“No problem.”
I went back to the lab table and packed my things, ready to get out of there so I could process everything.
Thankfully, Rowan seemed to understand. He didn’t say a word as we rushed out of the lab and exited the building.
It was becoming hard to breathe. It seemed as if hundreds of bees were inside my head, buzzing in a chaotic symphony, driving me mad. I didn’t know what to focus on first. I didn’t know what to ask or even say. I didn’t know what to feel.
My world had been flipped upside down. I was falling off that cliff, and I had no idea how to protect myself from getting hurt.
“Hey,” Rowan pulled me to a stop. He leaned down, looking into my eyes. “I promise you, it’s okay. I’m here, and I will help you through this.”
I barely knew the guy, and yet, I somehow believed him. “I’m going to head back to my room so I can process this.” In other words, I was going to lie in bed and cry, trying to figure out how everything had become such a mess.
“Why don’t you come to my place like we planned? I don’t have a roommate, so we can talk privately in my bedroom.” His voice was soothing, as if coaxing a spooked dog on the verge of running away.
“I don’t know.” I rubbed my forehead, a nasty headache forming. “Are you ready to answer my questions?” Because if he wasn’t, then there was no point in being with him right now. I needed honest answers.
He sighed and nodded. “I’ll tell you what I can. Come on, I’ll drive us there.”
I’d forgotten his truck was in the parking lot. Without really thinking about what I was doing, my mind in this weird fog, I got in. As we drove to the rugby house, I stared outside into the night sky, not seeing a single star tonight.
For the past twenty years, my mom had been lying to me each and every day.
If she could lie to me so easily, then she could very well be lying to my dad as well.
Maybe he didn’t even know I wasn’t his. As far as the truth went, she’d had ample opportunities to tell me not only about my biological father, but about my insulin.
I needed to find out the reason for all the secrecy.
Sarah and I had just gone through my photo albums last weekend.
I should have realized it then. My dad was a lot older than my mom, he’d delivered me at home while no one else had been there, his name was on my birth certificate, and my parents had married after I was born.
I drummed my fingers on my thigh, trying to find logical answers for these illogical discrepancies.
Rowan pulled up to his house and parked. He got out and came around to my side, opening the door and holding out his hand for me.
For some reason, this moment felt important. If I took his hand, I was choosing to go with him, to trust him. I slid to the edge of the seat and grabbed his hand, holding on tightly like it was a lifeline. Touching him, trusting him, felt right. Like breathing. It was instinctive and natural.
I got out and numbly followed him inside. I was vaguely aware of other guys in the house. Several were in the TV room watching football while others were playing a game of pool. I heard noise coming from the kitchen.
Still clutching onto my hand, Rowan led me straight upstairs and into his room. He flicked the light on. His bed was neatly made. No clothes were on the floor. It smelled faintly musky, like cologne. He went over and closed the blinds.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, his voice husky. “Water?”
“I’m good.” I dropped my bag on the floor and kicked my shoes off.
Rowan slid his backpack onto his chair. He took off his shoes and socks.
With my hands on my hips, I started pacing. “I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted.
He came over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”
A tear slid down my cheek. He wiped it away.
“Come on. Let’s sit down and figure this out together.” He pulled me over to the bed. He sat, leaning against his pillows, which were situated along the wooden headboard.
I crawled onto the bed next to him.
He wrapped his arm around me, hugging me to his body. Being in his arms felt right. The noise in my head vanished. A calmness settled over me.