Chapter 24 #2
“I’m sorry, Laney,” my dad said, “but your mother and I have talked about this and come to an agreement. If you don’t end things with Rowan, we’re pulling you from Stonemore University. You will return home to Hartford and commute to one of the colleges close by.”
His words reverberated through my head. I heard them but didn’t understand them. “You’re going to pull me from school if I keep seeing Rowan?” I asked, needing verification.
“Yes. You must understand that’s how serious we are. That’s how grave the situation is.”
“If that’s the case,” I said, my entire body shaking in anger, “then I want to know what I’m injecting into my body every day.” I hadn’t meant to say it like that. So demanding. So bluntly. It was just that he’d made me so mad. Both my mom and my dad. It was time they stopped lying to me.
“Your insulin is a complex medication,” he answered. “I can email you exactly what’s in it after we get off the phone.”
Like hell he would. He’d send me the ingredients for regular insulin instead of whatever they were giving me. “My insulin?” I said, enunciating the word in such a way to let him know I didn’t think it was really insulin.
“Since your mother makes it, you can speak to her about it,” he said, pawning me off to her.
“Honey?” Mom said.
Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Mom,” I whispered. I was about to ask her about my insulin when she sighed.
“I’m sorry you feel your dad and I are being harsh.”
They weren’t being harsh; they were being dictators. And worse, they were lying to me.
“I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did,” she continued. “You’re going to have to trust my judgment and experience on the matter.”
“I’m not you, Mom. And I have no intention of making that mistake.” I hated that she always reminded me that I was a mistake. She never came out and said I’d ruined her life, but it was implied. It was one of the reasons I’d gone to the health center and asked to be put on the pill.
There was a long pause before my mom said, “It’s time for us to have a serious conversation in person. Not on the phone. There are some things you need to know. Some things I haven’t told you. It’s time you knew.”
Finally. I just wanted the truth from her. I needed to know what I was.
I heard harsh whispers but couldn’t make out any of the words. It sounded like my mom was talking to my dad, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Mom? Are you still there?”
“Sorry, I’m here. How about I drive up next weekend so we can talk?”
“You can’t come up sooner?” Waiting a week would be torturous.
“If things change, I’ll let you know. As of now, I have a packed week and can’t get away.”
“Okay.” I’d have to wait until next weekend to get some answers.
“I’m serious about Rowan,” she added. “You’re not to see him any more. I’ll explain everything when I see you.”
“Fine.” My schedule was so busy during the week that I probably wouldn’t see Rowan much anyway.
However, I wouldn’t break up with him just because my parents or other people didn’t want us together.
If I broke up with Rowan, it would be because we weren’t compatible.
The choice would be mine, and mine alone.
I was sick of my life being controlled by others who thought they knew what was best for me. That ended, right now.
Feeling reckless, I said, “And when you’re here, I want to know what I’m injecting into my body every day.”
Silence hung between us. I couldn’t even hear my mom breathing. “You mean your insulin for your diabetes?” she said, her voice unnaturally high-pitched.
“You can call it whatever you want, but I know it’s not insulin.” I wanted her to know how serious I was about her telling me the truth. All of it.
In the background, I heard my dad. “Let’s just go and get her tonight.”
“If we take her out now,” my mother whispered to my dad, “it’ll only cause more suspicion.
Let’s just give it some time.” Then louder, to me, “We’ll talk next weekend in person.
Whatever you do, don’t stop taking your injections.
You’ll go into withdrawal, and the consequences will be catastrophic. I’ll explain when I see you.”
“Okay.”
“And we will yank you from that school if you keep seeing Rowan.”
The line went dead.
I sat there shaking. My life was a total mess.
Sarah burst through the door, startling me. “Oh, you’re here,” she said as the door closed behind her. “I thought you’d still be with Rowan.”
“We went on a hike. I came here to change.” I angled my head away from Sarah and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I loved having a roommate, but right now I needed to be alone to process everything.
“Are you okay? You look upset.”
“I’m fine.”
“Did something happen with Rowan?”
“No.” I forced a smile on my face and stood. “I just had an argument with my parents.”
“I’m going out with Danielle,” she said as she went over to her closet and pulled out a red dress. “Do you want to come with us? It’ll take your mind off your dumbass parents.”
“I need to shower, and I have a ton of homework to do, but thanks for asking.”
“If you change your mind, text me.” She started to change, so I stood and headed to the bathroom.
I turned the water on as hot as it would go and peeled off my clothes. I got in and let the water cascade down my body. When it started to cool, I finally washed my body and hair, then reluctantly got out. I put my PJs on and went back into the room. Sarah had already left.
I plopped onto my bed and brushed my wet hair, not wanting to bother taking the time to dry it.
A knock sounded on my door. I jumped up and rushed over, yanking the door open. Adan stood there holding my backpack and bag. Disappointment filled me. I’d been hoping it was Rowan.
“Hey,” he said. “I come bearing gifts.”
I opened the door wider, and Adan came in, setting my stuff on the floor next to my bed. He turned to leave.
“Thanks for bringing my stuff by.”
“No problem.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot, something he tended to do when he was nervous. “Look, I want to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have come into Rowan’s room like that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“I should go.”
I wanted to know what was going on with Rowan. “Is everything okay back at your place?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “Is Caleb there?”
“Look, Rowan told me to swing by and drop your stuff off. That’s what I’m doing. He asked that I not talk to you. I need to be going.” He turned and reached for the doorknob.
“Did I do something to make you mad at me?” He was acting strange and not like his usual carefree self.
“Besides dating Rowan?”
“You’re mad about that?” Was everyone upset about our relationship? I felt tears fill my eyes again.
He snorted. I guess that was his answer.
“You’re obviously friends with Rowan. You like him. You like me. I know you guys are different from me. I know I’m not the same as you.” I fidgeted with my hem. “But am I really so awful that you don’t want me with your friend?”
He looked up at the ceiling before answering. “It’s not that simple,” he said. “And have you ever considered we’re the ones who are too awful for you? That it’s not you but us?”
That went in line with what my parents were saying. However, I couldn’t believe that Rowan was awful or dangerous. “I really like him.”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he said gently. “Sometimes the world doesn’t let us have what we want.”
I stood there staring at him, trying to understand the meaning behind his words. “What is it you want but can’t have?”
He shook his head. “Lots of things. A Lambo for one. To be a pro soccer player for another.”
“Really?” I had no idea he liked soccer. “Why don’t you play that instead of rugby?”
A sardonic smile spread across his face. “It’s out of my control.”
I had no idea what that meant. However, it only helped solidify the fact that I would maintain control over my life.
I would have a relationship with who I wanted to, regardless of what anyone else said.
I would find out what my insulin really was and get my mom to admit that my dad wasn’t my dad.
I would stay in school and get my degree, even if I had to pay for it myself. This was my life. Mine.
“I better get going,” Adan said.
I grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. “No matter what happens, I want us to stay friends.”
“Like I said, we can’t always have what we want.” He turned and left.