Chapter Eight
T he walk to the University Hall had become awkward. I contemplated as we crossed the college path whether to finally come clean and tell Heather or let it die on the tip of my tongue. The more I thought about it, the more things started to piece together.
There was a good chance they placed the ones invited in the same room, so nothing was exposed. Apparently, it was a tight-lipped society that now had my curiosity piqued, and as much as I would rather stick to avoiding the abundance of clubs begging for recruits, there was no harm in finding out.
Fucking fantastic.
Call it a hunch, but I instantly knew who to ask. I just hoped he was here tonight.
We entered the building under a decorative balloon arch of the school colors; blue and white. The school mascot, Roar-eee the lion, was leaning casually against the wall, talking to one of the many photographers of tonight’s event. A hearty welcome sign hung just above, blowing softly in the summer breeze.
Crowds of freshmen covered the event room from wall to wall. At the back were six tables adorned with fancy tablecloths, which displayed silver trays overflowing with fancy school food. Long blue and white drapes hung from the ceiling, and soon, Roar-eee was dancing in the middle of the dance floor.
Some weird techno music thumped for background noise, while others around us chatted and gushed over who had the best summer. The further we traveled inside, the more chaotic it got. A group of young men started a beer pong game, screaming and high fiving one another whenever one of them scored. A few girls set up a karaoke machine, and others were left mingling in small groups, while the RAs and upper-class students ensured we had drinks and something to eat.
A random guy came over, I assumed one of the RAs, and handed Heather and me a red solo cup with weird red liquid.
“Uh, thanks,” I said. It had a bubbly look to it. Most likely, they gave us some carbonated beverage.
Before he could disappear, Heather grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back with such force he almost knocked the drink out of her hand. “Um, is there alcohol in this?”
He smiled and shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. Some of the teaching staff are present, so we couldn’t spike the punch.” He left us staring at our cups in the middle of the room.
“Don’t like alcohol?” I teased, taking a sip of mine. The flavor tasted of cherry with a sour kick; it was rather enjoyable and reminded me of one of the many birthday parties I attended as a kid, which ended with me crashing on the couch from the sugar rush.
“I just can’t have alcohol while on anxiety medication,” she stated. Heather’s mouth hesitated on the lip of her cup, afraid to believe the RA.
“There’s none. You’re fine,” I assured her.
The panic on her face began to subside slightly. “You sure?”
“Yes. I do know what alcohol tastes like.” I laughed.
“Well, good. I’m glad you’re here to let me know.” Heather then went ahead and drank from her cup, looking relieved when she finished.
Just then, a woman with dark hair and wearing a purple skirt and white blouse held a mic to her mouth, trying to get the crowd’s attention. “Hello! I’m Jordan Reiner, and welcome to this year’s freshman mixer!”
Everyone cheered around us as I drank more from my cup, completely over this night already. Jeremy and Nickie would be spiking the punch and trying to play strip poker somewhere exclusive.
“Tonight is all about mingling with each other, getting to know the faculty, and understanding the importance of being a Lion!”
More cheering and whistling erupted in the room, with some frat guys behind us hollering like animals.
“Please, enjoy the food, drinks, and party games! At the end of the night, each of you will get a bag of goodies to help you survive your first semester here at Columbia University! Thank you again for listening, and have fun!” she finished.
Everyone gave her one more cheer until she stepped out of view.
“Well, let’s get to talking,” Heather said, bumping her shoulder into mine.
I crushed the empty solo cup with my bare hand. “Fantastic.”
Observing the rest of the room, I was getting more bored by the second. I promised Heather I’d mingle and try my best to be here, but my social meter was running low. Too many people, and the idea of trying to smile and converse with others felt mentally draining. I just wanted to go to bed.
That was until Josh came into view.
When we first arrived, there was no chance of me coming across him again, and by the grace of God himself, he somehow ended up on my path a second time just at the right moment.
Fingers crossed he knew the deal around campus. Columbia was a big school, and I might not get a chance like this again.
Leaning against a marble pillar, he held a red solo cup, drinking casually and talking to a few of his peers. In a black T-shirt and jeans, his tousled brown curls never failed to send my pulse racing a bit.
“I’ll be right back,” I promised Heather.
She raised her cup in response before I made my way over to him. He immediately noticed my presence, and we met in the middle.
“Hey, freshy,” he said, reaching for a fist pump.
Our fists hit, and I smiled. “Hey.” He had a different demeanor than earlier.
“How’s your head?”
“A little sore but better.” A couple of Tylenol later and I was good to go, thank God.
“I’m sorry about that,” he apologized for the second time.
“Could’ve been worse. You could’ve killed me,” I joked.
“Nickie would never speak to me again.”
That made two of us.
“Enjoying your freshman mixer?” he asked in a teasing tone.
“Yeah… it’s… interesting.” It was a complete drag. I would have more fun in the cemetery with the dead than here with the living. I never went to these types of events at my old high school; everything was a significant cringe-fest. Nickie, Jeremy, and I ran our show and refused to follow any of the social norms.
“I hated mine. I’m only here because I got nominated to be a team leader. The downfall of being a junior,” he explained in horror.
I tried to stifle a laugh, but just by the look on his face of whatever horrifying flashback he went to, I couldn’t help myself. “Oh, yeah, I bet it was horrific.” Good, a casual conversation. That way, I could ease into asking him.
Josh chuckled along with me and finished the rest of his drink before tossing the cup in a nearby trash can, which seemed to be piling up by the second. “The redhead over there? Is she your roommate?”
I turned around to find her standing awkwardly near a fountain of fruit punch, trying to converse with three model-like blondes, and by the looks of them standing away from her, her attempt was unsuccessful. I better finish up here fast to save her from embarrassment. Because although Heather herself was way too perky for my liking, I had some weird motherly instinct toward her.
“Yes, that’s Heather Price. But I had a reason to come over here and talk to you. I have a question.”
Josh gave me a puzzled look, trying to figure out where I was going with this.
Where the heck did I even begin? Did I just come right out and say it? Would he have any idea what I was talking about? He’d probably think I’d lost my goddamn mind.
“Is the university…” How the heck do I even ask? “…are they known for their… clubs?”
Josh cocked his head to the side. “I assume so? You know, the website can direct you to all the clubs available on campus.”
Here goes. “Even the secret ones?”
“Josh!” some girl yelled from across the room, interrupting me and my train of thought.
He held up his finger to signal the person yelling at him to give us a minute. “Sorry about that. Anyway, what were you trying to say?”
Fuck this. “The Order of the Scarlet Quill?”
Josh froze; his eyes darting around before he stepped toward me, leaning in so nobody else could hear.
Jackpot.
“Remi, whatever you think you know—”
“I don’t know anything, so I’m asking you.” My tone came out a little harsher than expected, but I wasn’t going to get anywhere by beating around the bush.
His baby blues flashed an emotion I couldn’t pinpoint. “I don’t have the answer you’re looking for.”
“Never said you did.” Judging by the hostile tone he carried, he knew exactly what I was talking about. But did he know about my invitation? Heather’s? Was he even a part of it to begin with? Was he trying to warn me because there was a danger in knowing?
Josh clenched his jaw, his eyes scanning my face as if he were trying to decide whether to tell me the truth. “Remi, you need to forget we ever had this conversation. It’s not safe—”
“Josh!” she called again, only this time she got the attention of others.
I could see the frustrated look in his eyes when the girl who screamed his name came right over but not by herself. She was followed by a small group, and within that small group was Kal. His blond hair hung over his eyes, and his posture stiffened when he took notice of my appearance. My heart stopped, then picked back up as if a defibrillator restarted it.
This could not be happening right now.
If Kal was involved too…
“Josh, we have to go,” she said sternly. She looked over at me like a piece of trash on the side of the road. Her long dark hair came down in waves over her shoulders, and just by her stance and strong presence, I knew she had to be the leader of their little pack. Kal hung in the back, but his eyes never left my face.
“Yeah, Anna, I’m coming,” Josh responded coolly.
He gave me an apologetic look before joining them. “I’ll see you around, Remi.” There was a warning in his tone to forget what we just discussed.
But I couldn’t hear him, not over the loudness of Kal’s stare. He hesitated, his mouth opened slightly as if he were about to say something to me, but no sound came out, and just like that, he was gone with the rest of them.
I didn’t know what pissed me off more, Josh blowing me off because of that chick Anna, or me giving a shit about this whole stupid thing.
Kal, on the other hand, didn’t owe me an explanation. No numbers were exchanged, no strings were attached, yet his stunned expression was not something I thought would happen. He didn’t take the “see you around” literally.
Heather appeared beside me like an obedient dog. “Hey, you look pissed. Are you okay?
“Yeah…” I trailed off, watching them leave out the door.
“Who was that?” she asked, watching me glare at the front entrance.
“A fucking headache.”
I think she could sense my anger because the following words out of her mouth surprised me. “You want to get out of here?”
We left the mixer, goody bags in one hand and a crappy mood in the other.
Wanting a break from social interaction, I left Heather alone in our dorm as I made the trip to the showers. Finding solitude under scalding water, I avoided thinking about the last several events, but eventually, I needed to revisit them. Why did I care so much when I made it pretty fucking clear I wanted nothing to do with social clubs, let alone college.
Was I losing my goddamn mind?
I turned off the water and wrapped myself securely in a soft, expensive, white towel, courtesy of my mother.
Maybe finding out would give me something to do to pass the time. Then again, I berated myself once more, why the fuck did I care?
Gripping one of the many porcelain sinks, I leaned forward, seeing my tired hazel eyes in the mirror, surprised to find a woman with long blonde hair and a frown staring back.
Did I care because it involved people I knew? I wiped under my eyes, removing the last bit of smudged mascara. Did I care because it was something out of my control? I tried to untangle the knots in my hair with my fingers. Or did I care because maybe for once, my mother wasn’t involved, and this was simply something I had of my own? I huffed a sigh and dried myself off, throwing on a fresh pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt. Could I come to terms with the fact that I wanted to take part in something she had no control over? Was I against all clubs because of how she forced me into similar social events growing up, making me distaste the shit out of them? I squeezed whatever water lingered in my hair and threw the towel over my shoulder, slipping on a fresh pair of socks and slippers.
Stopping to readjust my shower bag strap, I trekked out of the bathroom, surprised to find the hall empty. It wasn’t so late that the RAs called curfew, but then again, the rest of the freshmen were probably still at the mixer.
I was just used to compacted clubs with sweaty bodies at this hour.
Approaching my room, I hesitated just outside the door. Part of me wanted to question Heather about the invitation. The other part… well, I hadn’t figured out if I wanted to ignore it.
Then there was the whole Josh knowing, and now Kal showing up? Could I truly let all of this go without feeling some type of indignation?
Once again, why the fuck did I care?
Goosebumps coated my arms, and the feeling of being watched trickled an uneasy sensation down my back. I turned to find Kal a few feet from where I stood, an unsure look on his face as if he were contemplating whether he should approach me.
I made it easy for him. “Yes?” I fully turned to give him my undivided attention.
My assertive behavior caught him off guard.
“Uh… um… hi.”
I snorted back a laugh. “What do you need, Kal ?”
Adjusting himself, he took a cautious step forward. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.” And it was true. No strings attached, no nothing. I couldn’t fault him for anything. So why did it look like he was going to shit himself?
“Anna can be somewhat of a bully.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Sounded like someone pissed in her cornflakes this morning.”
Kal chuckled, putting his hands through his thick locks. “And that, but I am sorry. "
I smiled. “You’re forgiven.” Reaching behind me, I gripped the doorknob, ready to move on, when I saw Kal take another step forward from the corner of my eye.
“Remi?” His sheepish smile told me there was more than just an apology tonight.
Letting go of the doorknob once again, I crossed my arms, ready to hear his next line. “Kal?”
“The other night…” Kal took another step forward. “…I haven’t stopped thinking about it.” He took the final step toward me until very little space separated us.
His proximity started to overwhelm me, and it took every ounce of my self-control not to lean back and offend him. Granted, what we did that night had been pretty fucking hot, but nothing was exchanged besides names and a possible see you around. If he wanted to hook up again, then yeah, why not? But anything beyond that was something I couldn’t commit to.
Especially in this godforsaken place.
So why couldn’t I take that final step and close the distance?
Why couldn’t I just dive right in and enjoy myself?
Why couldn’t I?
My hesitation was enough for Kal to step back, a look of dejection on his face. “I just wanted to apologize for how I acted. I would love nothing more than to take you out to dinner to make it up to you.”
His offer took me by surprise. “Dinner?”
Kal nodded, waiting for my response to his invitation. A free dinner from a hottie like him wasn’t a totally bad idea, and he wasn’t forcing my hand, either. Just because I wasn’t ready to commit, didn’t mean a friendship couldn’t blossom from this. Why not?
I smiled. “Sure.”
His mood changed as soon as he heard my yes. “I’ll come find you when I have the date set.”
I agreed and retreated into my room, finally able to breathe a bit better.