Chapter Forty-Eight
I ran out of the closet with the box and letter clutched tightly against my torso. My mother stood just under the kitchen threshold as I rounded the corner, heading straight for the front door, when she abruptly stepped in front of my path, blocking the exit.
“Remi, just think about what you’re doing,” she whispered. A hint of hurt and panic laced her words, but nothing could stop me, not even her desperate pleas when all she’d done was lie to me for years.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore,” I snapped. I gripped my grandmother’s belongings like a shield, protecting me from my mother.
“I have every right to want to protect my daughter!”
“By lying to me? How is that any safer? For fuck's sake, Mom, I went in blind! I could’ve been killed.”
She gripped my shoulder. “Don’t you dare walk out that door. I refuse to have my daughter a part of some cult!”
The irony of her words was not lost on me, but it fueled more coal to my already blazing fire. “Sucks knowing you weren’t chosen. It eats you alive, doesn't it? That your own daughter gets to live the life you always wanted.”
Her face twisted in pure rage. “I bet your grandmother loved filling your head with that bullshit. She was such a spiteful woman.”
“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth.” I shouldered past her, pressing Grams’ stuff tightly to my chest, my mother completely unaware of the small whiskey bottle I had stolen from my dad's stash hidden within.
I would rather chew on rusty nails than ever step foot in that fucking house again.
Taking a hefty swig of whiskey to calm my nerves and then stashing it between a few books on one of the first shelves in the small library, I rushed toward Father Benedict, who stood over a stack of thick, leatherbound books at a nearby table. He twirled white rosary beads in his paper-thin hands, a worry line forming on his forehead as his eyes followed the text. After everything that had happened, I was surprised to find him alone and not surrounded by the Aces and their overbearing needs. For once, I got to talk to Father without an audience present.
“Father,” I breathed, my hands shaking from escaping my mother’s clutches.
He looked up with a somber expression, as if life was sucked from him, but when he saw the worry across my face, he stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Remi, what’s wrong?”
With a shaky hand, I offered Grams’ note to him. “I think you need to read this.”
Father Benedict looked from me to the note, unsure whether to take it. I encouraged him with a simple nod to let him know he had permission to. He pocketed the rosary beads and took the letter, unfolding the creased spots.
I watched his expression change from confusion to shock, then—
“Elizabeth,” he whispered more to himself.
“What?” Father placed a finger to his lips to keep quiet and then had me follow him through the line of shelves until we’d retreated safely inside his little office space in the back of the library. I shut the door behind me as he rummaged through his desk drawer, searching for something until he pulled out a long, gold pendant with a delicate cross for a charm. He caressed the cross with his pointer finger, then kissed it and whispered a prayer before meeting my eyes.
“Your grandmother was one special Scarlet. But she was very selective on who she trusted in the Order. It wasn’t until you gave me her note that I remembered she’d entrusted me with this necklace to give to you,” he stated. Father stepped around his desk and took my hand to place the delicate chain in my palm.
It was simple yet the prettiest piece of jewelry I’d ever owned, and she wanted me to have it. A silver cross hung from the chain, shining under the lights. Anything left in Grams’ old room after her death had been stored in one of my parents’ many storage units or thrown away. My mother claimed there wasn’t much to sift through because Grams wasn’t materialistic, but I’d always hoped something would turn up that I could keep. Little did I know that Father Benedict held something so valuable this entire time.
I set the box of the rest of her belongings down on the desk and clasped the necklace securely around my neck, the chain cold against my already too-hot skin.
At that moment, for the first time, I finally felt like I belonged. “I don’t think you realize how much this means to me.”
A smile spread across Father Benedict’s face. “I’m glad it’s finally in your possession.”
Then his smile faded into a severe frown, more wrinkles creasing his forehead. “Remi, your grandmother did something against the whole Order. I believe she did it intentionally.” He gestured to me to take a seat.
I obliged and found myself unsure of what was going to happen next. “What did she do?”
He finally sat in his desk chair and took a long breath. “Did she tell you anything about the Accane Blade before her passing?”
“Father Benedict, my grandmother kept everything under wraps. When I received the invitation, I had no idea this world existed,” I admitted, thinking of my mother, who knew and lied blatantly to my face.
He rubbed his chin and nodded, as I had told him this before. “The Accane Blade is a powerful weapon against a specific type of demonic presence. It is the only one in existence, and it has never been found since the mid-1800s. Some claim it was lost in battle, others believe it was stolen and buried somewhere deep, but it can never be truly destroyed.”
“What does this have to do with my grandmother’s note?”
“After reading it, I can fully confirm she found it and has it hidden.”
I slumped back in the chair, unsure how everything had become so complicated. From the death of Asher to Heather’s possible kidnapping, the urge to hide under my bed for the rest of my life seemed tempting.
“So, we need this Accane Blade?” I clarified.
“If what Abraham and Asher said is true, then yes, we need it.” Father Benedict opened some type of black journal on his desk, skimming through the pages. “There is a meeting in November. All the Aces gather across the world to attend.” He paused, finding the page. I watched him dog-ear it for future reference, “I’m assuming you looked up the coordinates your grandmother left you?”
I nodded. “Edinburgh, Scotland.”
“I think your grandmother hid the Accane Blade there. I’m allowed to bring someone along, and Collin might have to sit this one out. I’m going to choose you.” Father placed the dog-eared page in front of me, showing a long sword with yellow stones on the handle. And as I took it in, my essence seemed to reach out to it, recognizing the blade from the vision of Josh and me going to war. Of Josh dying in my arms. A nightmare that had felt too real and left me gutted.
“But why hide it in a place everyone gathers? Wouldn’t that make it more obvious?” I questioned as I shoved the memory of the dream aside to focus on the here and now.
A rough knock came at the door, disrupting our conversation. “Father, I need to talk to you—” Josh froze just before breaching the threshold, a pain-stricken expression contorting his face as we locked eyes. His uniform looked ironed to perfection, the scarlet S glaring red upon his breast.
“I’m sorry, Josh, I’m currently in the middle of discussing—”
“This can’t wait. A civilian was taken.”
Father stood up, knocking his chair back from the force. “Who?”
I watched Josh swallow, avoiding eye contact with me altogether. Something stirred inside my gut, a feeling of dread taking over as I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear the terrible news.
“Nickie—”
All I saw was red when I stood, swinging a perfect right hook to Josh’s face. The satisfaction of connecting my knuckles to his cheek let out a primal reaction, a sound of agony and pain releasing in a mangled scream, all my anger, fear, and loss going into that blow before I collapsed to the floor, sobs wracking my body.
“Remi!”
I didn’t care if I hurt Josh, and I didn’t care who saw the assault, all that mattered in that moment was my best friend, who got caught in the crossfire, something that should have never happened. Strong arms circled me, holding my uncontrollable rocking back and forth, and by the familiar smell of sea salt and cedar that came over me like a cloud, almost suffocating me, I knew who held me in their grasp. I wanted to pull away. I even tried, but the whispers of okays and gentle strokes on my back rooted me in place, even though my mouth retaliated with unfiltered protests that sounded like gibberish. Every ounce of sorrow poured out of me until my eyes couldn’t produce any more tears. My throat was raw from the screams of anguish, my joints stiff from being held in a crouched position for too long. When I finally hushed my whimpers and let the ache settle in my chest, I took notice of the absence of Father Benedict and broke from Josh’s embrace, resting my back on the solid oak desk. Josh knelt in front of me, but I barely noticed the bruise forming on his right cheek, just below his eye.
“Remi?” Concern laced his words as he reached for my face in an attempt to comfort me.
Now that the loss had taken up residency, rage rippled like waves while I breathed aggressively through my nose. “Get away from me.”
His hand froze in mid-air. “Remi, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You promised me,” I uttered.
“Remi, I left her in the safety of—”
“YOU PROMISED ME!” I shrilled, and my voice bounced off the four walls, the sound mirroring my fury.
“I’M SORRY. You think I fucking wanted this?” He got to his feet, staring down at me, “Remi, I escorted Nickie home, I saw her walk inside, and I made sure I waited ten minutes before I left. We are being watched, and the fact that they were able to grab her goes to show how dangerous our new enemy is.”
I found the strength to stand, and pushed him with all my might back, watching him stagger a bit before he got his footing. “It’s because you work for this fucked up society.”
“Newsflash, Remi, so do you. How do you know you’re not being targeted?”
“Me? What have I done? I’ve only been here for a month. If anyone had enough time to make enemies, it’s you and the rest of this fucked-up society.”
Josh gripped my shoulders, desperate for me to listen. “Think about it, Heather was your roommate. Nickie is your best friend. Don’t you find it suspicious that they were the ones taken? Don’t you think the Aces should’ve spoken to you about this by now?”
I struggled against his hold, but he wouldn’t budge. “I don’t care what you think. You’re the piece of shit who brought her into this world.”
“Who’s to say that you wouldn’t either?” he sneered. I’d never seen him so pissed before, and truthfully, I didn’t care. The bruise I gave him became more noticeable, spreading near his nose, and I had the sudden urge to strike him again, just to prove my goddamn point. Tired eyes and ruffled brown hair fanned his forehead, a look of possible defeat tainting his face.
I got close to his face, never breaking eye contact with those shameless blue eyes. No matter how I felt about him on the inside, my hatred grew tenfold, knowing he was the sole reason my best friend was kidnapped, and nothing would change my mind. “I hope you fucking rot.”
Josh recoiled just as our pagers went off, his grip loosening from my shoulders. I shrugged off his touch, stepping back as much as I could in the limited space provided.
He reached into his pocket, checking the message. “We’re ordered to gather in the church.”
I never gave him a chance to follow as I stormed out of Father Benedict’s office, leaving all Grams’ belongings behind and ripping off my scarlet cape. Every step I took became heavier with sorrow, the dyspepsia settling in my stomach. Eventually, I heard him catch up, but I refused to give him any attention, and judging by the silence he projected, it would have been a wasted effort to interact anyway.
I hope you fucking rot.
My cruel words ricocheted around in my head, but I refused to feel an ounce of guilt, not after the bullshit Josh spewed moments ago. The fact that he assumed I was the one targeted, as if this was all my fault, kept the fire inside burning bright, and if anyone crossed my path, it wouldn’t end pretty. Did he not understand that he was her boyfriend? That he was just as much to blame for bringing her into this mess as anyone? Heather’s situation shouldn’t matter either. She was invited and went through the Blessing willingly, and she would have done it with or without me. If Josh wanted to play the blame game, then by all means, we could play it, but I’d be fucking damned if I would let him pin it all on me.
We continued in silence through the halls and winding staircase that led to the exit into the church. Most of the pews were filled with Scarlets and Saints from different sections of the city, along with our own. Luckily, there was an empty seat next to Chloe, and I snagged it before Josh could follow. He took a seat on the opposite side of us next to Baron, his head down, the bruise vibrant in the fluorescent lights.
Father Benedict stood at the altar with Collin, the other Aces gathered just off to the side in chairs, watching from their prestigious pedestal. I’d never heard silence quite this loud, and the eerie sense of doom looming over us didn’t snuff the flame of my rage, rather it kept it lit, almost burning me from the inside out.
Because my best friend and roommate were gone, and if I had to burn everything in my path to get them back, I would.
Collin handed Father an off-white scroll and started to light some type of incense, cleansing the space around him. He began a prayer, reciting it with a voice so deep and commanding that not a single person turned away. He signed the cross to us and then to the Aces, who returned it without hesitation.
“I know these are hard times, and with the recent events of two kidnappings, one of our own and a civilian, it is best if we let the Lord guide us to salvation,” he said.
“Bullshit,” hissed Chloe.
A glance in her direction was enough to witness her jaw clench like she was holding in her fury. “You think?” I whispered back.
“The Lord himself, if he truly cared about his children, wouldn’t have let two innocents get captured,” muttered Chloe.
Father Benedict now moved to the center of the altar. “As you are all aware, my annual meeting with the Order is slated for Christmas break. I believe with my attendance, we will be able to find answers for the cruel outcomes and a possible breakthrough to our new enemy.” Sweat glistened off his forehead while he adjusted the neck of his robe, almost as if he were struggling to get the next words out of his mouth. “I have chosen two from our Order to accompany me in my travels. The other sanctions outside were notified of my upcoming departure and will offer two of their own to assist with training and patrols.”
I already knew Father had slated for me to attend, I just hoped he would choose someone I didn’t want to murder.
More sweat dripped off his temples, I’d never seen Father so nervous before. “Remi and Josh will be accompanying me on the trip.”
My teeth clenched, holding back the scream I so desperately wanted to let out. Chloe nudged my shoulder and said, “Dude, did you give Josh that bruise?”
“He fucking deserved it,” I grumbled.
“I’m guessing he told you his theory?”
My eyes darted in her direction. “You knew?”
“He mentioned it briefly, but I brushed it off. I thought he was losing his goddamn mind.”
As quickly as the meeting began, it ended. The others scattered, including the Aces, who showed no empathy for the stolen. Their blank expressions did nothing to help ease the tension of the others. Chloe claimed they had their private meetings downstairs to discuss the events and didn’t want an audience.
I called it cowardice.
I said my goodbyes to Chloe and went straight to Father Benedict at the altar, where he started the clean-up process of the incense. “Why did you choose the vilest person to accompany us?”
“He is your guardian. It would be reckless to not have,” he mused.
“He will only cause more problems,” I retorted.
“Wow, Remi. Tell me how you feel.” Josh’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I couldn’t believe how blinded I was by his sincerity, his good looks, his fucking everything.
It was time for me to grow up and face the reality of the situation.
“I believe I showed you with my right hook,” I snapped, refusing to look at him.
“I haven’t forgotten.”
Father Benedict stopped just before the steps on the altar, completely soaked in perspiration. “We leave three days before Christmas break. Remi, you have a month and a half to train with your guardian and prepare for the trip. It would be in your best interest to refrain from killing one another.”
Kind of hard when that was all I could think about.
“I’ll prepare a list of things we need to bring. Any further discussion of what we talked about in my office, Remi, save it for the plane ride. Josh, will you come with me please?”
They both left me standing alone in the church. A heavy weight of defeat and exhaustion crept in, and I couldn’t find the strength to move. I watched the remaining light from the sun peek through the stained glass window above the altar, creating swirls of colors until fading altogether, until darkness engulfed everything I’d lost, including myself.
A sense of dread filled my bones, my chest throbbing from the loss of two important people, my anger and devastation colliding inside, making me drop to my knees because, under all the layers of hatred and despair, my stupid heart left a small fraction of love for Josh.
How fucking sick was that? How could I let myself keep a piece of what I felt tucked away when it should’ve perished within the fire of ferocity? How could he believe that my very existence spawned something so sinister that my friends became the victims? How was it that I knelt before a God who let such vicious actions commence?
I bowed my head, letting a few tears escape to release some of the misery buried within, as if I hadn’t cried enough in Father’s office.
To grin and bare such wreckage only reminded me of what was to come, and I couldn’t sit back and let incapable people take over. If I sat idly by, then what was the point? If Grams knew of such horrendous things to come, then she left it all to me for a reason. Because I would stop at nothing to save the ones I loved.
Lifting my head and wiping the last of my tears, I saw the silhouette of a female appear in the darkness of the chapel, her face barely visible but only recognizable in my dreams that plagued me for months, until the absence cut me right down to my core.
She smiled knowingly before fading into nothing.
My guardian angel.
Juniper.