Chapter 21 #2
“It’s the truth,” she chokes out, her breath hitching. “I went from meaning everything to you to meaning nothing.”
“You think you’re the only one hurting? You think this doesn’t gut me every second of every day?
Being around you, wanting you, and not touching you—I hate it.
But I had to put up walls, Addie. You ripped my heart out, and I barely survived it.
Yeah, Zeke and Jasper patched me up, but don’t you dare think you ever left me. Don’t you dare think I ever stopped—”
“Yes, you did.”
She doesn’t see how much I still carry her with me.
“I miss you, Roman. I miss you so much that it physically hurts. I need you. I need every beautiful, infuriating part of you. I want the man who used to love me so hard it felt like I was the center of the fucking universe, but I know you’ll never give him to me again.
So please don’t touch me. Don’t comfort me. Don’t make this harder for me.”
That’s it.
That’s the breaking point.
“Fuck that.”
I close the space between us and press my mouth to hers. I drink down her cries as her hands fly up around my neck, and I lose myself in her—her taste, her touch, the way her tongue slides against mine. Every piece of me that ever broke starts healing right here in her arms.
“I love you, Roman. I’m so in love with you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t do this the second I saw you again.”
I lift her, one arm tight around her waist, the other gripping her thigh as her dress rides high, and she locks her legs around my hips.
I don’t stop kissing her, not when I carry her to the bed, not even when we crash down together.
It’s like we never stopped. Our bodies just remember, as if we’ve been doing this every day.
There’s nothing to relearn, nothing to fix.
We just fit. And fuck, I knew it. I knew it back then, and I know it now—we were always supposed to be this.
I lay her back on the bed, grinding against her so she feels just how badly I still want her.
Her sobs have faded, but the tears still fall, and I kiss them away one by one while her hands fumble with my shirt, desperate to get to my skin.
I shove her dress higher, exposing that perfect pussy, and this time I’m taking what I’ve been dying for every time I watched Zeke or Jasper touch her.
I sit up, yank my shirt off, and she drags her nails down my chest, just like she used to. My eyes slam shut, and my whole body shudders under her touch.
“Addie… I’ve never stopped loving you. Not once.
” I toss my shirt across the room and slide back down, cradling her head in my hands as my lips ghost over hers.
“Tell me this is forever, baby. Please. Because I can’t lose you again—I won’t.
I need you all in. If we do this and you walk away…
” I swallow hard, my forehead pressed to hers, my heart hammering out every last piece of pride I have left.
“I won’t,” she whispers. “I’ll never leave. My heart’s been all in since day one, Roman. I just got a little lost along the way.” She lifts her hips, grinding against the front of my pants. “I want you. Jasper. Zeke,” she breathes out. “I want a life with you in Boston. I want us.”
My whole body freezes. “What?”
“I need to be where you are.” I kiss her because now that I’ve tasted her again, I’m never stopping.
She pulls back, lips kiss-bruised, and her blue eyes burn like the heart of a flame.
“Now will you please touch me because I’ve been pretending it’s easy not having you, but it’s killing me, Roman. It’s killing me, and I—”
“I’ll never stop touching you again,” I promise, crushing my mouth to hers.
We fumble her out of her skintight dress, ripping it off her while she tugs at my belt until I shove my pants down, and we’re finally bare—chest to chest, her nipples dragging across my skin, while my cock grinds against her soaked pussy.
I can’t stop kissing her. I can’t get enough of those needy little whimpers that spill out every time our lips meet.
“Roman… please.” She lifts her hips, searching for friction.
“I forgot how fucking needy you get when you want my cock.” I run my tongue along her jaw before sinking my teeth into her neck just hard enough to make her gasp.
“You remember what that does to me, don’t you?
The way you’d moan, beg, and fucking demand it from me.
” I press into her, needing her closer. “I’ve got all night to pull every last orgasm out of you, so let me have this. Just let me touch you for a minute.
I lower my head to her chest, kissing the curve of her breasts, before taking her nipple into my mouth. My hands are everywhere—palming her tits, gripping her hips and thighs. I rut against her, my cock grinding against her slick, aching pussy.
“Holy shit, Roman… Keep going,” she gasps out, breathless and begging.
I greedily suck in as much of her breast as I can while I tug and twist her other nipple. She meets me for every roll of my hips, and I feel it the second her orgasm rips through her. Nipple play always got her off, and fuck if it doesn’t make me wild that I get to be the one to do it again.
I trail my hand down between her legs, soaking my fingers in her arousal before smearing it across her lips. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, desperate to taste how wet I make her, kissing her again and again, and getting off on the way she melts beneath me.
“You feel how much I want you?” she asks, arching into my hand as I slide a finger inside her.
God, she’s still the softest thing I’ve ever had.
“You want another, Addie?”
“Stop teasing me.”
I push in another finger, then a third, curling them deep as I grind my palm into her clit. I keep my eyes on her, memorizing every gasp that tells me she’s seconds from breaking. She’s come for me a hundred times before, but this is different. We’re different.
I don’t look away from her as I move down and lower my mouth, lashing her clit with my tongue.
Fuck, I’ve missed this pussy—missed the taste of her.
“Remember when you couldn’t sleep without me eating you first?” I remind her, spitting on her clit before sucking it hard. “You still mine like that, baby?”
“Roman,” she whimpers.
“Let it go. Come for me like you used to.”
Her orgasm tears through her, body tensing so hard she arches off the bed. When I pull my fingers out, they’re dripping with her, and I smear it down my cock, groaning at how wet she is for me. She’s still trembling, but I don’t give her a second to breathe.
I don’t want her to come down.
I want to fuck her a thousand different ways, but right now, I just need to be buried so deep she forgets we were ever apart. And when I finally push into her, it’s like every second I lived without her just burns away.
I drop my mouth to her ear, nipping her skin before dragging my lips across her throat. “Do you know how fucking wild you looked grinding on my cock like you’d forgotten how it used to feel? I bet you’d beg if I made you.”
I pull out to the tip, then slam back into her, hard enough to make the bed rattle.
“Baby, I’d do anything you wanted,” she whispers, “as long as you never stop moving inside me.”
We’re not just fucking.
We’re taking back everything we lost.
We’re locked together—eyes, bodies, and souls—uniting in a way we haven’t in so long and moving like we were made to.
“Roman…”
“I know, baby. I’m right there with you.”
This is everything.
This is home.
I catch her wrist, slam it above her head, and lace our fingers together.
I drive into her harder, deeper, until the room is nothing but the sound of her moans.
Sweat beads across her chest, running down that dip in her throat, and I lower my mouth to her skin, licking up the salt and heat as I fuck her into the mattress.
I want her to feel this for days.
I want every muscle in her body to remember me and ache for me tomorrow.
“You’re almost there, baby,” I murmur, brushing my mouth over hers. “Let me feel you break.”
My name tears out of her throat as she tightens around my cock. She’s falling apart for me—so completely, so fucking beautifully. It’s everything I’ve missed, everything I swore I was done needing, and I’m already lost in it.
“Fuck, Addie,” I choke out as my orgasm slams into me. I bury myself to the base, feeling her clench and pulse around me while I spill inside her.
Chest to chest, breath to breath, I look down at the girl I’ve loved every day, even when she wasn’t mine, to find her staring up at me like I carved the constellations just to guide her home to us.
My fingers thread through her hair as she drags her nails gently over my back. We don’t talk. We just breathe each other in and let the weight of what this is settle into our bones.
When I finally pull out, she lets out a soft gasp. I spread her legs wider, looking down and watching my cum leak out of her, and with two fingers, I push it back in.
“This is still mine, baby.”
“It never stopped being yours. Not in here,” she says, tapping her temple.
I kiss her forehead and linger there for a moment, my body exhausted but my heart wide open. When I roll to my back, I tug her against me, and her head finds my chest while soft, delicate fingers trace my ribs.
“Did you mean what you said? About coming to Boston?” I ask, my thumb brushing slow lines up her spine.
She lifts her head, resting her chin on my chest. “Of course I meant it. I can’t come with you tomorrow, but I’ll take care of things here and be with you as soon as I can.”
I hate that. I hate the idea of leaving Addie here, even for a day. She knows that too. She knows patience has never been my strong suit when it comes to anyone I love.
“How long?”
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly. “But I refuse to spend another Christmas without you.”