17. SAMMY
SAMMY
Sammy flung himself onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow. Sammy simply couldn’t believe how uncaring and over the top Harrison’s reaction was – he hadn’t even given Sammy a real chance to explain himself.
Suddenly, Sammy was wondering whether Harrison was the man – or Daddy – that he had previously shown himself to be. But Sammy didn’t have time to wallow in his upset, not matter how sad he felt.
Every second that Sammy wasn’t online and trying to sort this whole mess out was a wasted moment.
In fact, Sammy couldn’t quite believe that Harrison didn’t understand this himself.
Sure, Harrison was older. But that didn’t mean that he had no concept of how online culture worked for influencers and content creators.
‘Zozo! Why was Daddy so mean to me?’ Sammy sobbed, sitting up on his bed and bringing his stuffie in close for a snuggle. ‘You should have seen how angry he looked. It was like he just didn’t care about how upset I was!’
Sammy’s eyes were streaming, and his cheeks felt flush with a growing sense of anger too. Not only had Harrison not given him a chance to explain, but Harrison had also seemed on the verge of losing his cool in a way that was borderline scary for Sammy.
I’m not the one who needs to apologize.
Harrison does!
If he wants to be my Daddy, he has to respect me!
Sammy could feel himself getting angrier and angrier. But with each second that passed, his phone kept lighting up with more and more notifications. Whether it was people replying to his comments or new followers leaving mean comments, it suddenly felt very overwhelming.
Sammy was seething about Harrison’s suggestion that he had been online the whole time too. That was simply not fair and made Sammy question Harrison’s feelings for him.
‘If he really loved me, he would never accuse me of lying like that,’ Sammy muttered, frantically typing out a response to another cruel troll. ‘A true Daddy would trust his Little. Urgh. I hate this!’
Then, with his fingers trembling as he typed, Sammy picked up his phone and sent a message to Tucker…
You were right. I was silly and stupid and dumb for leaving the city and messing everything up online. My fans deserve better and I’m going to come back on the train today. Please will you help me fix this, Tucker? Sammy
Sammy wasn’t sure that it was the right thing to do to message Tucker and say that he was coming back to the city.
But Sammy knew that something had to be done.
There was no way he could resolve the chaos by himself, and judging from the way that Harrison had reacted he certainly wasn’t going to help.
As he got up from the bed and began packing his bag, Sammy paused and looked around his room. There were colorful pictures and brand-new recipes pinned up on the wall, and even a photo of him and Harrison having a hot chocolate together at the campus café.
Sammy felt sad. He wanted to cry. But he knew that he had to be strong.
It had been great while it lasted, but maybe him and Harrison just weren’t meant to be.
* * *
The train journey back to the city was one of the worst experiences that Sammy could remember.
The carriage was full to bursting with standing room only which made even attempting to keep up with all the comments and online activity difficult enough.
And to make matters even worse, only ten minutes into the journey Sammy’s phone battery ran out.
The rest of the journey was horrible. The heater was set to maximum, and with everyone coughing and spluttering it felt like exactly the kind of environment where Sammy was going to pick up a nasty cold, or worse.
Sammy was beginning to have serious doubts about his decision to leave so abruptly.
Was this the right thing to do?
I mean… what choice did I have?
This is Harrison’s fault as much as it is mine!
So with that thought in mind, Sammy simply leaned up against the door and closed his eyes. He would be back in the city in an hour or two and could set about sorting this whole mess out.
Sammy hoped that Tucker wouldn’t be too angry with him. After all, it wasn’t as if Sammy had done all this on purpose. At worst, it was a silly decision that went a bit wrong. With Tucker’s help, Sammy convinced himself that everything would be okay.
Upon arrival back in New York, Sammy made a beeline toward Tucker’s new apartment. Tucker had only moved in the previous month, so Sammy hadn’t had a chance to see it yet but he remembered the address well enough from a recent bit of paperwork he had completed.
‘Woah, this looks… expensive,’ Sammy said as he stood at the building’s entry door.
Certainly, the snooty doorman didn’t look overly impressed with a bedraggled and scruffy looking Sammy. But grudgingly, the doorman held the door open and allowed Sammy inside.
As Sammy took the elevator up to Tucker’s floor, he cast his mind back to his childhood.
Sammy moved around so much as a child that he genuinely had lost count of how many schools he had attended.
One year he moved schools three times and by the third school had pretty much given up on even trying to make friends.
This unsettling legacy from Sammy’s childhood had followed him into adulthood too. Sammy was always keen to please new people. The last thing Sammy ever wanted to do was upset anyone or give them a reason to be mean to him.
With this in mind, Sammy began to think of excuses to give to Tucker about why he had so suddenly dropped out of his recording schedule and abandoned social media.
I need Tucker to believe me.
He’s the only person who can make this right now.
And I just don’t want him to be mad with me…
As the elevator pinged at Tucker’s floor, Sammy stepped out and was greeted by the sight of Tucker, standing outside his apartment door.
‘Giles let me know you were on your way up,’ Tucker said, a cold tone in his voice. ‘You’re lucky he let you in looking like that.’
Sammy felt his bottom lip tremble. Tucker wasn’t being very nice, and Sammy could tell that this wasn’t going to be as easy and plain sailing as he had hoped.
‘I’ll make you a drink, it looks like you could use one,’ Tucker said, casting a judgmental eye over Sammy. ‘How does vodka and OJ sound?’
‘Just OJ please,’ Sammy replied, his voice wavering. ‘I… I… I’m sorry about what happened.’
Tucker paused and looked back toward Sammy. With his silk flower-print shirt and new diamond earring, Tucker certainly looked like someone who should live in an upscale apartment like this.
Sammy looked around and noticed the expensive art on the walls, the enormous TV screen and equally extravagant sound system next to it. In addition to the art and the gadgets, the rent on the apartment must have been costing Tucker a fortune.
Even the view was something that Sammy knew came with a huge price tag attached to it. Not many people had a perfect view out over the park like Tucker did. Sammy began to wonder exactly how Tucker was paying for everything, but his thoughts were suddenly brought to an abrupt end…
‘Drink this,’ Tucker said, handing Sammy a glass of OJ with ice. ‘We need to have a serious talk. What you did was so fucking uncool, man. You left me in the shit. Not to mention all those fans you pissed off. You know that can’t happen again, right?’
Sammy didn’t particularly like the way Tucker was talking to him, but he didn’t want to cause any upset given the situation he was in so listened quietly.
‘Things are going to have to change,’ Tucker continued. ‘I’ve got your best interests at heart, you know that. You can still have a great career. It’s not too late to turn things around. But we’ll need to revise how we do things.’
Sammy felt like this was his moment to speak up and show Tucker that he could be relied upon to not mess up again. Even though he felt nervous, Sammy thought back to how Harrison had given him more confidence to voice his opinions.
With Harrison’s training in mind, Sammy began to talk…
‘I agree things need to change,’ Sammy said, summoning up his biggest, most courageous voice. ‘I’m going to stay in the city for three days and film a month’s worth of content. I’ll do an apology video too. But after that I’m going back to Harrison, my Daddy. We can see what we do after that, but-’
‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ Tucker interrupted, a cruel smile coming over his face. ‘You obviously didn’t check the fine print of those contracts you signed. I legally control all your videos, your finances, and even have your bank login details!’
‘No! No! That’s not fair!’ Sammy pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes.
‘I own you!’ Tucker laughed. ‘And no, it’s probably not fair.
But life ain’t fair. So here’s what’s going to happen.
You will stay in the city, and you will be filming indefinitely.
All day and every day if that’s what I need from you.
I’ll pay you a weekly salary. I might even give you a Christmas bonus if you’re a good… boy.’
Sammy was speechless.
This wasn’t part of Sammy’s plan. It was far, far from it.
During the train journey and without a working phone to occupy him, Sammy had come to the conclusion that Harrison had been right all along. But Sammy’s loyalty and not wanting to let Tucker down meant that he still wanted to do some filming, just enough to make things right.
But Tucker saw things very differently. And it terrified Sammy to think that Tucker had such control over him.
It wasn’t just the money side of things either, but all of the videos that included his recipe ideas too.
Sammy had poured his heart and soul into them, especially the earlier videos where it was all about the cooking.
Sammy was totally distraught and didn’t know what to do.
In that moment, he needed Harrison beside him, protecting him. But Sammy also felt a sense of total shame and disgust in himself. How could he have been so stupid as to run away and leave without saying anything to his Daddy?
Yes, Harrison had been super-angry. But Sammy felt like he should have at least given Harrison a chance to explain himself. What hope of that now?
Sammy felt like Tucker’s prisoner.
He didn’t know what to do or what to say.
All Sammy could think of was Harrison’s strong, comforting embrace making him feel better. But in that moment, Harrison felt a million miles away.