20. Chapter 20 – Zach
“ H ey.” Rae looked up from the couch, her smile the welcome I needed after our morning rescue.
Without a word, I went to her, pulling her up and into my arms for a hug. Holding on as if my life depended on it. She wrapped me tight, her hug just as fierce.
I hated the rescues that turned into recoveries. They stayed with me, forcing me to relive every step, trying out different variables. This time, there was nothing we could do. The pilot’s injuries were severe enough that he was dead on impact. But I still played the “what if” game.
At least with Rae in my arms, I felt whole again.
This was the first rescue we’d tackled together since I’d admitted, at least to myself, that my feelings for her went way beyond friendship.
And I’d been terrified. She had a low-risk role, monitoring the rig.
But I’d had to keep repeating to myself that she was safe to focus on my climb. My emotions were complicating things.
Her hands ran up and down my back, soothing me. Slowly, my breathing matched hers, my exhales becoming longer and smoother .
“Let’s do something fun today. Let’s take the kids sailing,” I finally said.
She burrowed closer, her hands linked around my waist. “Deal. We could all use the distraction.”
Slowly, she peeled away, looking up at me, a tender light in her deep brown eyes. Her calm presence grounded me in a way I couldn’t explain but cherished. It made the way I’d drawn little cries of need from her last night even more precious. She’d quaked beneath my fingers. Beneath my tongue.
As if she could sense the direction of my thoughts, she said, “We have the kids.”
“Right.” I coughed, giving her a sheepish smile. “But I hope tonight you’ll let me distract you later in private.”
Her mouth drew wide in a wicked grin. “Deal.”
“If we drop by Nauti by Nature , I can pick up supplies.” I dropped my voice to a whisper. Fuck subtle. “ I mean condoms .”
Her giggle made me smile. “Fenwick, you had me at sailing.”
We rallied the kids and packed snacks to take to the boat. Hana skipped ahead on the dock. Her step faltered as we passed the berth where her dad and Brandon docked. Tae seemed to avoid looking at the boat’s berth at all.
“Was this a mistake?” I muttered to Rae.
“No. This is part of the healing. Let’s get them out on the water.”
It only took a few minutes to strap on life jackets and cast off. Nauti by Nature and Sailor Swift were nearly identical, but Rae had grinned and suggested that we take Nauti out since it had more “provisions.”
Tae and Hana clambered around the deck as I motored us into open water. Rae and I worked together to unfurl the sails. We tacked into the wind, sailing around the north end of the island. The kids waved to other boats that passed by, grinning from ear to ear .
The sun beat down on us, prompting Rae to bust out the sunscreen, scolding me to put some on. “You’re worse than the kids.”
I flicked the brim of my hat. “I’m protecting myself.”
“C’mere, Fenwick. Your arms are still exposed.”
“You’re bossy, and I like it,” I said with a toothy smile. She ran her sunscreen-slicked hands over my forearms, lingering over my biceps as she drew her hands up. I dropped a quick kiss on her mouth, pulling my gaze back to our heading when all I wanted was to sink into her.
“Now I need you to do me.” Rae held up the sunscreen.
“My pleasure.” I warmed the lotion in my hands, holding Rae’s gaze as I slid my fingers over her forearms to her shoulders, rubbing sunscreen beneath the straps of her tank top. Tempted to slide my hands lower, cup her breasts. But. Children.
I bit my lip, concentrating on covering her smooth skin evenly, painting her with my fingers in slow, sinuous strokes. “How’s that?” My voice came out so hoarse, it was almost unrecognizable.
Rae’s jaw was relaxed, her eyes mere slits. “Wonderful,” she purred, rolling her head from one side to the other. The stretch exposed her strong neck, making me wish for a nibble. But. Children.
“Later I can do more.”
“Promises, promises.” The slow way Rae smiled made me think she was anticipating more time alone just as much as I was.
We sailed around Jones Island, dropping anchor for snacks and to relax.
The water was too cold for swimming, but the kids didn’t seem to mind.
They waded along the rocky beach, splashing each other mercilessly until they were both drenched in saltwater.
Their shouts and giggles filled the air, making me smile.
Rae snuggled under my arm, watching them play.
“I’m glad we did this.”
“Took them sailing? Me too,” Rae said .
I linked my fingers with hers, caressing her knuckles gently.
“No, not just today. All of it.” I gestured to the kids. “Watching Tae and Hana together.” I bumped my shoulder gently against her. “Kissing you.” I leaned away, holding her gaze. “Mostly kissing you.”
“We make a pretty good team.”
I snorted. “We make a fucking fantastic team,” I corrected, dropping a noisy kiss across her knuckles.
She giggled, the sound showering me in sunshine. Peace. A comfortable silence enveloped us, punctuated by Hana and Tae’s laughter.
“How’s the half-marathon training going?” she asked as Hana took off chasing Tae after he splashed her.
I groaned, the sound long and low. I shook my head. “Don’t remind me. Lee has been making me run with him at lunch. That bastard actually likes the hills. I need a new running buddy.”
Her gentle laughter warmed me, bringing a smile to my face. “I’m not volunteering,” she cautioned, clapping me on the knee. “You need guy time. I’m glad you and Lee are preparing for the half together.”
“But now he’s talking about a full marathon.” I pulled a sad face, turning beseeching eyes on Rae. “He’s a monster.”
“Pssh. You love it.”
“Not that much.”
“Hmm. Either way, the kids and I will come cheer you on next weekend.”
A happy squirm wound its way through my chest. It sounded like she was proud of me. Even though I’d done the half-marathon with Lee before, it was sweet.
We were all tired by the time we got home, opting for an easy dinner of grilled cheese before settling in to watch a movie together. Hana and Tae bickered over the popcorn bowl, but otherwise it was a quiet evening, just Rae, the kids and me, doing family things .
The shot of normalcy after our rescue left me feeling grateful for my life.
For Rae. For the kind of community that would pull together to search for lost hikers, or help out a new widow with her kids.
It had taken me a while to open my eyes, but I was done pretending I didn’t see the woman next to me for exactly what she was: meant to be mine.