Chapter 2 #2
I thought I was prepared to see him, but I was so wrong.
It doesn’t matter that I knew he might be here, I was still completely taken aback, especially by the look on his face when he saw me.
He was looking at me like he used to do when we were teenagers.
Like there was no one else around but me.
Which, quite frankly, doesn’t make any damn sense.
He randomly cut me and all our mutual friends off two years ago.
That was also around the time I got engaged to Bryan.
Now that I’m thinking about it, that might not have been a coincidence. Except that doesn’t make any sense either. Connor broke up with me. And then continued on with life like he didn’t completely rip my heart out of my chest and break it into a million pieces.
Maybe taking this job wasn’t the best idea after all.
“Avery?”
Katie’s voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts, bringing me back to the present. Shaking my head, I fake a laugh, pretending I wasn’t just analyzing my life choices at a team barbecue.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought for a second.”
The girls all wear warm smiles as they patiently wait for me to tell them a little bit about myself.
“There’s not much to tell. I played college hockey in Wisconsin, and when I graduated, I was drafted by the Minnesota Freeze before taking a job with them as their play-by-play announcer.
Then, when I got engaged, I moved to St. Louis and got a job with the Archers because that’s where my ex plays. ”
I’ve already said too much. Pitying eyes meet mine as I take another sip of my drink, attempting to signal the end of that conversation.
“Were you the play-by-play announcer there, too? Sorry, I don’t keep up with many other teams.”
It’s an innocent question and I know Sloane has absolutely no idea the effect it’s about to have on me. A sinking feeling settles low in my gut and my pulse begins to quicken as horrible memories begin flashing through my mind.
You’re fine. It’s all in your head. There’s nothing wrong. It’s just your anxiety. Even the doctors don’t believe you. I knew you were just with me for my money.
The feel of a hand on my forearm steadies me. Taking a calming breath, I turn to see Sadie, concern clear on her face just like it was earlier when I nearly fainted.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I try to force words out. “No. I worked as an assistant to the media team there.”
My pulse is still racing as all four women stare at me. There’s no judgment in their eyes, only concern. Apparently I’m doing a shit job of hiding the mental breakdown I’m about to have.
What a great first impression, Avery.
“I’m going to take Avery inside for a minute. We’ll be back.” Sadie’s voice is chipper, showing no signs that anything’s off. Luckily, the women all nod and turn toward each other, not making a big deal out of our abrupt exit.
Sadie loops her arm through mine, placing her opposite hand on my forearm. She begins rubbing soothing circles with her fingers, and I’ve never been so grateful for someone’s kindness before. She doesn’t even know me, and yet she was able to read the situation within seconds and came to my rescue.
Once we’re inside the house, the cool air washes over me and I continue my deep breathing. She leads me to the study just off the entrance of the house. Dark green walls surround the room, a floor to ceiling bookcase covering the largest wall behind a beautiful desk.
Sadie settles me onto a leather chair in the corner near the wall of books and kneels down in front of me.
“Is everything okay, Avery? I know we just met so you don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m a great listener. And I’m a vault. So, if you need me, I’m here.”
She reaches her hand out and gives mine a squeeze, her eyes never leave my face.
I’m not sure what it is about this woman, but there’s something about her that puts me at ease.
It’s like the air around her has a calming effect, and it steadies me in a way I’m not familiar with.
Before I can overthink it, the words are already sitting at the tip of my tongue.
But, I hesitate…because saying it out loud makes it real. Because I’m not sure what she’ll think of me after. Because part of me still feels so stupid for not seeing it sooner.
My grip tightens slightly in her hand. Then, quietly, I let it out.
“My ex-husband was very controlling. I thought when he wanted me to move to St. Louis where he played, it was because he couldn’t stand the thought of us being apart.
That’s the way he made it seem, at least. All of that changed within the first couple months of being there.
He told me he secured a commentating gig for me with the team, but it turns out I was just a coffee chaser.
I gave up everything for us. For him. And it kept getting worse… ”
My words trail off as I remember the nightmare that was our relationship. After my health began to decline, Bryan’s gaslighting only intensified. He made me believe it was all in my head. Somehow he even got the doctors on his side.
I don’t even notice that I’m nearly hyper-ventilating until Sadie’s hands cup my cheeks.
“Breathe, Avery. I got you. Let’s do it together.”
We spend the next few minutes breathing together, me mirroring her actions the best I can. Once I’ve calmed down enough, I bury my face in my hands.
“I’m so sorry. I’m ruining your party. Please, go back out there to enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine and call myself an Uber.”
Sadie once again reaches up and takes one of my hands in hers.
“Avery. Please look at me.”
Her voice is soft, another calming attribute about the woman who knows nothing about me.
“We’re a family here in Green Bay. And I know you haven’t even officially started, but now that you’re here, that makes you one of us. You’re part of our family, and there’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you.”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes and I lose the battle of holding them in when I feel one trickle down my cheek. “God, I am such a hot mess.” I swipe my cheek with the back of my hand and let out a self-deprecating chuckle.
Sadie finally stands and slides the other leather chair that’s across from me closer so she’s sitting next to me.
“You are not a mess. You’re just a human with emotions. Welcome to the club.”
We sit together in silence and it’s not uncomfortable in the least. I’m not sure how much time goes by when I hear a soft knock on the wall near the entrance to the study.
Katie stands at the opening, her beautiful auburn hair pulled back into a high ponytail now. In her hands is my large Stanley cup.
“Connor was outside looking for you. I told him you came in here to cool off. He was about to barge in here but I offered to bring it to you instead. I figured you didn’t need some grumpy defenseman in your space right now.
” Her smile is kind as she waits for my permission to join in on the silent meeting Sadie and I have been having.
“Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Come in, come in.”
I’m feeling better now. Both physically and mentally. The cold air combined with getting off my feet has helped immensely.
Katie walks into the room and settles onto the armrest of Sadie’s chair. She hands over my drink without a word.
I take a long sip, savoring the sweetness of my drink. Electrolytes seem to help much more than water when I’m feeling faint and weak. If only I had a diagnosis and could get some freaking answers.
Sadie’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “You know, Katie is the team psychologist. She’d be an even better person to talk to than me. I can help with meditation and mindfulness, but this one actually has a degree in helping people.”
Finding a therapist has been on my to-do list since I left St Louis. I had a great one there until Bryan found out. He berated me and convinced me that therapy was just enabling my crazy thoughts, not helping. God, what type of woman gives in to a man like that?
A weak one.
Nope. Fuck that. I am not weak. I am strong. I left him and now I can work on myself without judgment.
Looking up at Katie, I see she’s already looking at me.
“When can we start?”