Chapter 11
“Connor, where’s your focus today? Do another set. And this time, keep your core engaged. You want to get back to one hundred percent? Prove to me you can do a simple rehab exercise.”
I groan. I love Doc but he’s acting like the Copenhagen plank lift is just some easy core exercise, when really, it could probably be used as a torture technique to get information out of someone. I mean, if you were into that sort of thing.
I’ve been working with Dr. Alvarez since last season when I initially pulled my groin.
He’s only about ten years older than me so he’s really easy to relate to.
He’s tall like me, probably standing at six foot three, and he cares about us players like we’re family.
It’s why I trust him, even when he’s torturing me like this.
This exercise is even more impossible when I can’t seem to think of anything other than Avery. Doc is right, my focus is shit today.
“Sorry, Doc. I’ll do better this time.”
I turn and get into a side plank position.
But unlike a typical side plank, this torturous exercise requires your feet to be elevated, instead of on the ground.
I raise my top leg and rest it on the workout bench I’ve been using.
Gritting my teeth, I lift my hip off the ground and position my lower leg under the bench.
I repeat this motion, lowering my hip to the ground and then back up again.
“Eleven, Twelve.” I fall to the ground after my last lift, embarrassed at how out of breath I am. Lying flat on my back, I throw my arm over my eyes. “Please don’t make me do more, Doc. I’ll do anything else.”
A towel slaps me in the chest. Moving my arm, I look up to see Doc holding his arm out to me.
“Let’s get you up, ya big baby.”
I grab his hand and use it to pull myself up off the ground.
“Baby? Why don’t you get down there and do four sets of those and then we’ll see who’s the baby?”
Doc throws his head back and cackles. Once he’s done laughing at me, he pats me twice on the chest. “I may be ten years older than you, but I could out-plank your ass any day.” He tosses me my water bottle then leans back on the counter behind him.
“You wanna tell me what’s on your mind? Because it was anywhere but here today. ”
I squirt some water in my mouth, trying to buy some time to figure out what I should say to him. Doc is the team’s physical therapist so he knows who Avery is. But I’d rather not let him in on my personal business.
“Just having an off day, I guess.”
He shakes his head at me. “Bullshit. Word on the street is our new play-by-play announcer has you all discombobulated.”
Motherfucker.
I bet it was Mack or Jefferson running their mouths to anyone who would listen. I love juicy gossip just as much as the next person, but this is none of their goddamn business. How the hell would they even know? They only saw us together once.
“Calm down, Smith. You look like you’re ready to drop the gloves.”
Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I scoff.
“Can you blame me? There’s nothing going on between me and Avery.
And the last thing she needs is people running their mouths and assuming there is.
Women in the hockey world already get enough shit talked about them.
I don’t need my own teammates adding to that. ”
The reminder of everything Coach Ellie went through when she was hired by the team runs through my mind. “Isn’t she a distraction?” “She’s definitely banging a few players.” It was ridiculous. She is one of the smartest coaches I’ve ever had. Hell, she is the smartest coach I’ve ever had.
Avery used to be the full-time play-by-play announcer for my sister’s team in the PWHL, which made it almost impossible to forget her.
But damn, she was so good at her job. She was lucky enough to be the guest announcer for the NHL team in Minnesota when their main guy was out a couple times.
I’ll never forget the stupid fucking comments I saw on the social media posts celebrating her.
One comment in particular sticks out in my mind.
It was something along the lines of “We can’t win, fellas.
First we have to see women in our sport, and now we have to listen to them?
If I wanted to listen to nails on a chalkboard, I’d call my ex-wife.
Guess I’ll be muting the games she’s working from now on. ”
I’m not ashamed to admit that I did everything in my power to try and track that asshole down. Fortunately for him, he kept his information private and I was never able to locate him. But he did get a colorful message from me in his inbox.
I was surprised when Avery left her job with the Freeze to join her ex’s team in St. Louis. At first I thought maybe she got a commentating job with them, but that wasn’t the case. So, for her to bounce back and land this job with the Bobcats, it’s not something to be taken lightly.
When I look up, I see Doc eying me warily.
“Sorry, Doc. You know what it was like for Ellie when she joined the team. You know people are probably running their mouths already about Avery, too. I just don’t want anyone with the Bobcats to add to the stress.”
He nods his head thoughtfully. “I get it. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m sorry. And before you go interrogating your teammates, you should know that the person who confided in me was just worried about you. They weren’t starting rumors. So you can keep your gloves on.”
A knock at the door steals our attention before I can defend myself further.
“Sorry to interrupt. Dr. Alvarez, I was hoping you could meet with one of my ortho patients before you took off for the day. But if you’re busy, I can try to find someone else.”
The doctor’s voice trails off, and I see Doc push off from the counter where he’s been standing. “Not a problem. We were just finishing up here.”
Doc grabs his coat off the rack near the door and looks over his shoulder at me. “See you next week. Hopefully you bring your focus with you next time.” He’s gone out the door before I can respond.
I grab my keys and phone from the locker I was using and make my way out of the room. Taking the elevator to the main floor, I’m five feet away from the main doors when I see a streak of black out of the corner of my eye.
Avery sprints in front of me, cutting me off, shouting a mumbled, “Sorry, excuse me,” over her shoulder. She’s moving so quickly, I can’t be sure, but I swear I saw tears streaming down her face.
I’m immediately hit with a wave of panic. What is Avery doing at the hospital? And why the hell is she running out of here crying?
My feet move before my mind has fully caught up to what I’m doing.
I weave past a few people walking into the hospital through the automatic doors, trying to get to her as quickly as possible.
Avery’s walking fast, but at this point I’m running, and within a few seconds I’ve caught up to her.
I spin around so I’m in front of her and suck in a breath.
Tears are streaming down her face, and my stomach drops at the sight.
She swipes the sleeve of her hoodie across her cheeks then hugs herself tightly, trying to pull herself together.
I reach my hands out and gently place them on her shoulders to stop her forward progress.
“Avery. Stop. Please. What’s going on? Are you okay?”
It’s a stupid fucking question. Obviously, she’s not okay. But I need to figure out why she’s not okay. Because then I can figure out how to fix it.
Avery groans out in frustration. “Ugh, of course you’re here.
” She starts looking around the parking lot frantically, her breathing intensifying with each second that goes by.
She sucks in a breath and a strangled sound comes out of her mouth.
“Will you please just leave me alone? I need to get out of here.”
Yeah, absolutely fucking not.
She shrugs my hands off her shoulders, but I keep my feet planted. “Sorry, but I can’t do that. I don’t want you driving when you’re this worked up.”
Avery releases a laugh but there’s no humor behind it. “That’s rich, coming from you. Now you’re worried about me. Now that I’m standing in front of you crying, you decide to care? That’s not how this works, Connor.”
The angrier she gets with me, the slower the tears fall. Okay, not the ideal situation but if her getting angry at me distracts her, let’s go with it.
“You’re right. I’m an asshole. But you said it was time for us to move forward.
And I’m sorry, but I can’t just pretend not to care.
Especially when you’re running out of a hospital crying.
I’d be worried about anyone doing that, but it’s you, Avery.
There is no possible way I can turn a blind eye. ”
Silence stretches between us as Avery seems to consider my words. She swipes at her face. “You are infuriating—did you know that?”
I shove my hands in my pockets and shoot her a cocky smile. “I’ve heard that once or twice.”
We both laugh, and although it’s nothing monumental, it feels big. Both of us together, not just saying we’re moving forward, but actually doing it.
“Can you please tell me what’s going on, Avery? Because my mind is automatically thinking the worst-case scenarios here. You run out of the hospital crying…is everything okay? Is it your parents? Is it you? What’s going on Aves?”
The nickname slips but to my surprise, she doesn’t call me on it. At least not out loud, but she does throw daggers my way with her eyes.
“Everything is fine. My parents are fine. I’m just—I’ve had some stuff going on and I finally got a doctor to listen to me. But…”
She averts her gaze from me. Her eyes land on something, and she grabs my wrist to pull me onto the grass at the edge of the parking lot. I hadn’t even noticed we were standing in the middle of it. Cars waiting to pass us finally drive by, scowls on the drivers’ faces.
“I got some tests done this morning after I fell.”
“You fell? Are you okay?” I take her face in my hands, inspecting her head and face for any cuts or injuries.
She swats me away. “I’m fine. Well, I will be. I just need some more tests in order to finally get some answers.”
“What kind of answers?”
She’s not making any sense. All of this sounds like good news to me. Not the fall, but the getting answers. Avery must see the confusion on my face because she explains.
“I think I have something called POTS, but I don’t have insurance right now to get the tests I need to confirm that. It’s my fault. Things haven’t been great since the divorce.”
My eyebrows raise at the word divorce. I suspected it, but didn’t want to get my hopes up. Her confirming it now makes me way happier than I probably should be.
Avery points her finger at me. “Nope. We’re not talking about that. That is none of your business.”
I smirk because we are definitely going to talk about that. Maybe not now, but one day.
“Like I was saying,” she continues, “the tests today and the ones I’ll need are really frickin’ expensive. I finally found a doctor who will take me seriously, but now I’m in a place where I can’t afford to get the answers I’ve been so desperate for.”
“I’ll pay for the tests.”
The words fall out of my mouth so casually, Avery takes a step back.
“No. I’m not letting you do that. I am not your problem anymore.”
I move toward her, closing the distance she’s attempting to put between us. “You were never a problem, Aves.” She shakes her head but I push gently. “Let me do this. Your health is more important than our messy past.”
She shakes her head aggressively. “No. I’ll figure something else out.”
I don’t like this. I want her to get the answers she needs. I want her to find the peace she’s so clearly desperate for.
“Why won’t you let me help you?”
“Because!” She throws her arms out as she yells at me. “Because I was with a man who was supposed to support me and he made me feel pathetic for needing his help. I can do this. I don’t need or want anyone to pay for my shit anymore. Do you understand that?”
Stubborn woman. Beautiful, frustrating, stubborn fucking woman.
It’s been a while but I know Avery well enough to know that I’m not going to change her mind. Rubbing at my jaw, I relent.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” She crosses her arms and holds my eyes. Her stubbornness might be frustrating as hell, but her strength is something I’ve always admired about her. Which has me thinking about what she just said.
“Now, back to the other thing.”
I can’t ignore what she just told me about her ex.
My concern for Avery is high, but the rage I feel toward that pathetic asshole is even higher.
And the anger I feel at myself? I don’t even want to think about it.
I let her go and then cut her out of my life.
Maybe if I would’ve sucked it up and stuck around, I could’ve seen what he was doing to her.
Maybe I could’ve prevented all this pain and heartbreak for her.
I watch her inhale a breath and push down the anger, trying like hell to keep my voice calm when I speak again.
“You said Bryan made you feel pathetic.”
Her nose scrunches at his name, and she looks at something next to us, avoiding my eye contact at all costs.
I reach out and gently grip her chin with my thumb and finger, turning so she has nowhere else to look but at me.
“What the fuck did he do to you?”