Chapter 31
Connor has been gone for three days now and the fact that I have a countdown going in my head for when he returns should concern me. I feel like a teenager again with a huge crush, and that feeling is only amplified when I look down at my notebook and see I’m literally doodling his name right now.
It isn’t lost on me that I’ve scribbled his names a thousand times before, but I’m a grown woman, for fuck’s sake. Not to mention, this whole thing is temporary. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
Now that I have my diagnosis, there’s really no need to stay fake married to him—and I will admit this to no one, but I don’t want our time to end yet.
How much longer until he brings up the annulment?
I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, missing him like this or not having enough time to figure out what this all means.
Slamming my notebook shut, I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it’s well past dinnertime and Tamara still isn’t home.
Realizing that I haven’t eaten anything yet, I trod into the kitchen hoping there’s some leftovers in the fridge.
Opening the doors, all hope is lost when I see the empty shelves.
I scour them, looking for anything feasible to throw together that might constitute a meal.
I’m about ready to grab a bag of shredded cheese to melt on top of tortilla chips when I hear the door open.
“Honey, I’m home!”
Grabbing the bag of cheese, I close the door and holler back. “I’m in the kitchen! About to make a very sad excuse for nachos.”
I open one of the cupboards and grab a paper plate. When I turn to head to the pantry, Tamara is blocking my way, holding a takeout bag out in front of her.
“Looks like you can skip the nachos. This was waiting outside the door and your name is on it.”
Confused, I grab the paper bag from her. Looking at the receipt, it does have my name on it but that doesn’t make any sense.
“I didn’t order any food.”
Tamara hops onto the counter, and I set the bag next to her. Peering inside, I see several different takeout containers. My curiosity gets the best of me so I take them all out and open them. Each one is filled with food that smells so good my mouth is watering.
“Girl, either you pick one or I will. I haven’t eaten since seven this morning.
I am starving.” Tamara grabs one that contains chicken and asparagus before I even have the chance.
She grabs a plastic fork and stabs a piece of asparagus with it.
When it’s a few inches from her mouth, I grab her wrist.
“Wait! We don’t know where this came from. What if it’s poisoned or something?”
Tamara raises her eyebrows and huffs out a laugh. “Are you really pretending you don’t know who sent this? I’ll give you one guess. He’s gigantic and handsome with gorgeous hazel eyes and a great ass.”
At the mention of his butt, I glare at her. She throws her head back and cackles.
“Ha! You should see your face right now! One mention of Connor’s hockey ass and you’re ready to throw down. You know he sent this. Who else could it be?”
“Just wait!” I hold up one finger and rush to the living room in search of my phone.
The coffee table is littered with my notes and work.
I lift everything up but don’t find it. Next, I search in between the couch cushions, but it’s not there either.
Finally, only after I lower myself to the floor, I find my phone kicked underneath the couch.
When I pull it out, I have two missed calls and three texts waiting for me. All from the same person. I click on the texts and read the most recent.
Connor
I’m trying not to overreact right now, but I’m about to send Sadie over there to do a wellness check if I don’t hear back soon.
Before I can even read any of his other messages, my phone starts vibrating in my hand with an incoming video call.
I have no idea what I even look like right now, but if I don’t answer, there is no doubt in my mind that Connor really would send someone over here.
I run my fingers through my hair quickly, trying to smooth down the hair I’m not even sure I brushed this morning.
“Just answer the phone, Avery.”
My body jumps at her voice. I turn to see Tamara leaning against the wall near the entryway to the kitchen trying to hold in a laugh.
“I hate you,” I hiss at her before accepting the video call.
Connor’s face fills the screen and it looks like he hasn’t combed his hair yet, either. It’s sticking up on the top and if I didn’t know any better, he’s been pulling it himself. Is he really that worried about me? That thought alone has me fighting back a grin.
“Avery. Oh, thank god. You’re okay.”
I plop down on the couch and glance up to see Tamara still standing near the kitchen with a shit-eating grin on her face. I flip her the bird behind my phone.
“I’m fine. Sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts, I apparently lost my phone a couple hours ago. I’ve been busy working and didn’t even notice.”
Connor sits down, and from what I can see, it looks like he’s in a hotel room. He leans back and rests a hand behind his head. He is in no way trying to be sexy, but my eyes immediately move to his bulging bicep and that view alone is enough to spike my heartrate a bit.
“I’m just glad you’re okay. The app wasn’t showing any data when I checked and my mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. Especially when you didn’t respond to my text about ordering you dinner. Shit. Did you get it? It’s probably cold by now. I should’ve given you more notice.”
He’s rambling now, and it’s actually fucking adorable. This six-foot-five professional hockey player is nervously babbling to me about having food delivered to his fake wife. I can’t make this shit up.
“Connor, stop. I took my watch off when I was working because it kept annoying me. I should’ve given you a heads-up, sorry. But I got the food. I was just about to pick what to eat. You ordered like half the menu.”
“It’s delicious, by the way!” Tamara yells from the spot she has yet to vacate. This time, instead of giving her the finger, I pick up one of my pens and hurl it at her.
She dodges it at the last second and lifts her hand in surrender. Sorry, she mouths, before finally slinking away to give us some privacy.
“I wanted to order more but Niko said that would be overkill.”
The thought of him contemplating what to order and asking Niko for help causes the dimple to appear on my cheek.
“Thanks for ordering me dinner. You didn’t have to do that.”
We continue to chat for a few minutes before he tells me to go take care of myself and get some food. My stomach has been rumbling since I smelled the food, so as much as I’d love to talk to him longer, my hunger wins out.
I hang up after saying goodbye and skip into the kitchen. Picking up the container with the shrimp, I move to join Tamara at the kitchen table. She’s done eating already, her laptop open in front of her, as she clicks away on her keyboard.
“You’re humming.”
My finger stalls inches away from my mouth. “What?”
Tamara keeps her eyes trained on the screen in front of her. “You skipped in here and have been humming since you got off the phone. It’s cute.”
I pop a piece of shrimp in my mouth and chew on it while I try to come up with something to say. I know she’s teasing me so once I swallow and take a sip of water, I lean onto the table.
“Well, you’re scowling at your screen. It’s going to give you wrinkles. That’s not cute.”
She finally looks up from her computer, and I can tell she’s holding something back. Pushing up from the table, I slide into the empty seat next to hers. Slowly, I shut her laptop.
“Why are you scowling like that?”
Tamara slumps back into her chair. “That tennis player I wanted to sign went with someone else.”
“Damn, I’m sorry, T. Anyone else you can scoop up? I know you were really hoping to add to your clientele.”
Her head is tilted back and she’s staring at the ceiling. At first she doesn’t respond, and after a minute, I don’t think she’s going to at all. But after an exhale, she sits up straight and turns in her seat to face me.
“Actually, there’s a few athletes I’ve had my eye on.” Her voice doesn’t match what she’s saying. She should be excited at the prospect, but for some reason, her tone is not enthusiastic at all.
“Why the doom and gloom then?” I gesture with my hand to where she’s sitting.
Tamara grabs her laptop, opening it and turning the screen so I can see what she’s been working on. “They’re all overseas.”
I’m still not comprehending. “And…”
“I can’t just leave you here and fly across the world. You’re going through some shit. I don’t want you to be here alone.”
There it is. This is exactly why I didn’t want to stay here for free. She should not be worrying about me. I am not her responsibility. Does it suck that I’d be alone? Yeah. Am I afraid I might pass out while she’s gone? Maybe. But she can’t hold herself back because of me.
“Tamara. Book your damn flight. I’m a grown-ass woman who can take care of herself.” She shoots me a look that says she’s less than convinced so I push on. “Sadie said her old apartment at Niko’s is empty, I can ask to stay there.”
She crosses her arms and nods to my phone that’s sitting at the other end of the table.
“Well, ask her then. I know I’m not your mother, but I do care about you and I don’t think you should be staying here alone right now.
Not after you just got your diagnosis and are still trying to find your new normal.
I wouldn’t feel right leaving you alone.
You’re family. I need to know you’ll be taken care of while I’m gone. ”
As annoyed as I am, her thoughtfulness tugs at something inside of me. I reach across the table to get my phone and shoot off a text to Sadie, hoping for a quick response. Less than a minute later my phone buzzes.
Sadie
Ugh! If it was sometime next month, I’d tell you to come and move in. But Niko’s family is flying in from Finland tomorrow for a couple weeks. They asked if they could stay in the apartment. You could always crash in one of the guest bedrooms!
“Damn.”
Tamara leans forward, resting her arms on the table. “I take it that’s not good news.”
I type out a quick response telling Sadie I’ll let her know then lean on the table, resting my chin on my hand.
“Niko’s family is visiting from Finland. She said I could crash in one of the guest bedrooms. I really don’t feel like imposing when his family is flying in to see him, though.”
My phone vibrates on the table again and I pick it up, anticipating a text from Sadie. My eyes light up when I see it’s a text from Connor instead.
Connor
Breakfast will be waiting for you in the morning too. Sweet dreams, Aves.
My stupid, stupid heart does somersaults as I reread his text again.
“Or you could ask the handsome hockey player if you can stay with him. I’ll wait till he’s back in town and you can ask him then. He’s already taking care of you and showing up at all your appointments. It would make it a little easier on you both if you just stayed there, don’t you think?”
She’s not wrong. I have a couple appointments booked with a physical therapist this month, and Connor already mentioned he’d like to come if I was okay with it.
He’s been the greatest support system, and after coming out of a relationship where I had zero support, I’ve been leaning on him and not feeling guilty about it.
Plus, I really don’t want to stay with Sadie and Niko.
They’re in a little love bubble and with his family coming, I’d feel out of place there.
When I look up at Tamara, she’s eagerly waiting for a response.
The idea of staying with Connor in the dream home we designed together makes my stomach roll with anxiety.
Do I really think it’s a good idea? I still haven’t even fully come to terms with the fact that he literally brought the home we designed together to life.
How did he remember every single detail all these years later?
Better yet, why would he build it at all when we weren’t even together anymore, let alone even speaking?
I don’t know how to unpack everything it might mean. If I stayed with Connor, that would mean walking through his penthouse full of rooms that feel like stepping into an alternate version of our life.
The life we were supposed to have.
He held onto our dream all these years while I thought it was long gone. I don’t know what the fuck to do with that.
“Let me sleep on it.”
Tamara hums and opens her laptop back up, returning to work. I clean up the food and put the rest of the take out containers in the refrigerator.
Before I go to bed, I open his text thread one more time, reading the last message he sent. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep shortly after, having those sweet dreams he wished for me.
Every single one of them starring him.