Chapter 7 #2
Just thinking her name had him almost swinging the car around and heading back to the warehouse so he could watch over her, because there wasn't a doubt in his mind that she wasn't going to heed his warnings. Damn, this meeting with Falcon.
His boss was a good guy to work for. All the Oswald siblings were.
They’d had a crazy upbringing, being raised in a remote cabin with no access to modern civilization until their quiet, peaceful way of life was disrupted in the most horrific way.
Oldest daughter Raven still bore the physical scars from that night, and it had gone a long way in shaping the oldest sibling, Eagle, into the controlling, somewhat egomaniacal older brother and boss he’d become.
The man took his responsibilities seriously, and if you worked for Prey, you became part of that family and thus one of Eagle’s responsibilities.
Falcon was the third oldest and second son, and he was by far the gruffest of the siblings.
He scowled more often than not. In fact, the only time Nathan had ever seen the man soften was when he looked at his wife, Hope, his three sweet little girls, or one of his sisters, nieces, or nephews.
The man had a soft spot for family, there was no doubt about it, and Nathan knew that Eagle wasn't the only one who considered Prey a family.
But what would Falcon think if he found out Nathan was having totally inappropriate thoughts about one of Azure’s victims?
His job there wasn't to find a girlfriend, it was to find intel that could link the head of the operation to Azure.
Cutting off the head of the snake was the only way to shut the whole thing down, but that head was smart.
He was completely hands-off when it came to Azure, and if they wanted a shot at bringing his empire crashing down, they needed to find the physical proof to tie him to it.
Once that was done, maybe …
“No. Of course, you can't call Emma up and ask her out on a date,” he muttered as he found a spot to pull his SUV into at the local park where he was meeting Falcon. His job was to find proof, get what they needed for Prey to destroy Azure, and in the meantime, figure out a way to get Emma to stop putting herself in danger until he could get her out of the ring’s clutches and back home safe and sound to her family.
The entire drive there, he’d been constantly checking to make sure he wasn't being followed, and he’d also pulled over at a local restaurant about ten minutes away from the warehouse so he could check his vehicle for tracking devices.
If he’d found one, he’d leave the SUV there, have everyone think he’d gone out for a meal, and take his back up vehicle to the meeting.
But there was no tracking device.
No sign he’d been followed.
He was too good at his job to be caught out, which had always been a blessing until now, when he knew his acting had convinced Emma he was nothing but a disgusting monster, the worst of the worst, the same as all the others who worked at Azure.
“What's wrong?” Falcon demanded the second Nathan slid onto the picnic table bench. A spread of food sat on a bright red-and-white checkered tablecloth, and a picnic basket sat on one end of the bench. When Nathan looked away from Falcon’s shrewd blue gaze, he saw Hope’s bright red hair as she pushed the couple’s younger daughter on the swing while watching the older two do the monkey bars.
“Why would something be wrong?” he asked, aiming for nonchalance, but knowing from the way Falcon arched a dark brow that he had failed.
“Because you're tense. You're never tense,” Falcon added, which was completely true.
It wasn't that he didn't understand the risks of his job, of course he did. He lived with them every single day of his life. But this was his life, and it always had been. Saving people was a compulsion and one he was prepared to go to any lengths for.
But he couldn’t admit the truth to Falcon.
Say out loud that one of Azure’s victims had gotten under his skin in a way she wasn't supposed to.
Not only was it completely inappropriate, but following through on his attraction would make him no better than the men he was trying to bring down.
Falcon was quite literally paying him to work undercover at Azure.
His boss would be disappointed in him if he knew the thoughts running through Nathan’s head, and would likely yank him from the case.
Falcon sighed. A long, slow sound, and he saw his boss’ gaze cut to Hope and his daughters. “It’s gotten personal for you.”
A statement, not a question, so Nathan didn't say anything. No point in digging himself a deeper grave.
“Do I need to pull you?” Falcon asked, returning his gaze to Nathan.
“No.” The word blurted out too fast, too panicked, too forceful, too … everything.
Arching a brow, Falcon waited for him to elaborate.
Only he didn't want to. Didn't need to hear someone tell him how wrong it was for him to develop any sort of feelings for one of the ring’s victims beyond general empathy and a willingness to do whatever it took to get them out.
But his boss didn't waver, waiting patiently, and Nathan knew he owed Falcon this much at least.
“I didn't mean for it to happen,” he admitted.
“Feelings don’t usually present themselves at a convenient time,” Falcon agreed, and since Nathan knew the story of how Falcon had met Hope, he knew his boss got it.
“It’s wrong,” he said. “I know it is. They kidnapped her. They have her naked in a cage. She’s completely vulnerable.
I've never … I don’t want … I can't help …” He trailed off, not sure how to finish any of those sentences without feeling like the worst man alive, let alone the worst undercover operative.
“I rescued Hope from a human trafficking ring,” Falcon reminded him.
“The timing was wrong, and yet it was what it was.
I wouldn't give her up, give up our lives together, for anything in the world.
She and our three little girls are my everything.
You're allowed to be human, Nathan. Allowed to want what everyone else wants. A home, a future, a family. Love.”
The problem was, to have any of those things, he’d have to give up his job, and he wasn't sure what he was if he wasn't saving other people’s lives.
“Do I need to pull you?” Falcon asked again.
The idea of leaving Emma there, alone and unprotected, completely at Azure’s mercy, with no way to ensure she would be picked up once she was sold, other than hoping one of the other Prey undercover operatives, whose identities he didn't even know, would have noticed his obsession with her and stepped in to protect her, made him feel ill.
“If you want to pull me, I won't fight you on it. I know I've let you down.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, all of them, because if he was pulled, he was also letting Emma down, but his boss had the final say.
“Being human isn’t letting anyone down. You're not a superhero, Nathan. The pressure you put on yourself is going to crush you. I won't pull you for now, but you’ll keep me updated. Let me know if you can no longer hide that you’ve fallen for the girl, then we’ll figure something out.
Worst case scenario, we’ll get you some drugs, and you can fake her death, then we’ll pick her up at wherever they decide to dump her body. ”
“You've got my back?” he asked, a little confused that Falcon was taking this all in stride. Taking it better than Nathan himself was.
“I'm offended you even have to ask,” Falcon said with a glare as he swung his legs over the side of the bench, his gaze once again searching for his girls before returning to Nathan.
“You're human. Things happen. I trust you to keep it under control and do what you're there to do while also protecting your girl as best you can.”
As Nathan watched Falcon stride across the park toward his family, he let those words repeat themselves in his mind.
His girl. It was a totally inappropriate way to think of Emma, and he was sure she’d have some sassy comeback if he dared speak them aloud in her presence.
They were wrong in so many ways, and yet … they were right too.