Chapter 9 #2
How deeply the need to spot her and assure himself that he’d gotten to her in time should scare him, for some reason, all he could feel was fear for Emma, not fear of the near all-consuming feelings he was developing for her.
Since he didn't smoke, he didn't think anyone would look to him as the cause of the fire, and he wasn't worried that it would do any major damage. When he’d come down there, the room was empty and the other men were escorting the women back to their cells, so he was also pretty sure that he’d gotten there before Emma’s punishment started.
So where the hell was she?
Ignoring everything else, he continued down toward the shower room, assuming that if that was where Emma had gotten herself into trouble, that would also be where her punishment was going to be.
It was chaos down there. Some of the women were freaking out, screaming and hysterical. A couple who hadn't been there long seemed to be trying to make a run for it. The guys were focused on securing everyone, and no one gave him a second glance as he searched for the woman he had to save.
There.
A blonde head peeked out of the shower room and took off in the opposite direction.
Lengthening his stride, Nathan hurried toward her. He had to get to her before she got on the elevator, because if she got up there, then she’d be shot rather than being allowed to escape. If she wasn't killed outright, she’d only get herself a worse punishment once she was healed enough.
Because Emma was trying to be sneaky, and he just wanted to get to her, he caught her as she passed the storage closet, the final door before the elevator.
Wrapping an arm around her chest, he lifted her feet off the floor, slapped a hand over her mouth so she didn't do anything to draw attention to them, and shoved his way into the small space.
In his arms, Emma went wild, trying to buck him off, thrashing and kicking. The size difference between them meant she would never be effective, but at least she was trying, and he was proud of her for that.
“It’s me,” he whispered in her ear, his lips close enough that he knew she felt his warm breath, because not only did she still, but she shivered against him.
Just because he wanted to turn her around, crush her in an embrace to reassure himself he’d gotten to her in time, bury his face in her hair, and take a moment when he wasn't afraid of being watched to just hold her, didn't mean Emma felt the same way.
There was some part of her that trusted him, he knew that, but she still believed he was a human trafficker, so there was only so much comfort his presence could provide.
“You going to be a good girl and not scream if I move my hand?” he asked, waiting until she gave a shaky nod before slowly removing his palm from her mouth.
The second he did, she squirmed in his hold again, although this time she seemed to be trying to turn around and face him rather than trying to get away from him, so he shifted his hold on her, so they were chest to chest. As soon as he did, she had her legs hooked around his waist and her arms locked around his neck.
“You came, you're here,” she whispered, sounding somewhat in awe of that.
“Almost didn't make it in time. Thought I told you to be a good girl while I was gone,” he whispered back, bringing his hand down lightly on her bare backside, and rocking her center against his crotch, where he started to grow hard.
“I tried, I did. I didn't fight when they told us to go to the shower, but … I couldn’t go through with it. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be a brat, I just … I can't seem to stop fighting them.”
“I know, blondie, you're a fighter, stubborn, brave, they’re good qualities, just dangerous ones in this world.”
“You never call me by that number,” she said thoughtfully, and even though there was nothing more than a dim lightbulb illuminating this tiny space, he could see her expression, and it was much too knowing for either of their good.
“And I won't.”
“Do you have nicknames for the other women?”
This was a bad idea. They were heading into dangerous territory, yet his head nodded just the same. “Most of them.”
“Even though you took over a couple of punishments, you’ve never hurt me. And when we were in the room alone together, and you had me on my knees, you never intended to make me do anything, you were blocking me from the cameras so you could feed me.”
“I was,” he agreed. Maybe if he didn't outright tell her he was an undercover agent, he could just leave her to make her own conclusions, allowing her to draw comfort from his presence, but still not technically break his cover.
“You're responsible for the smoke. You got back in time to stop what Mateo was going to do to me.
You didn't like it when I called the others your friends.” Emma cocked her head to the side, studied him in the dull light, and he could practically feel her gaze raking over him. “You're not one of them.”
“I'm here,” he reminded her.
“But not to hurt women, not to turn them into slaves. I remember what you said to me when you carried me into that cage the first night. The drugs were starting to wear off, and I heard you. You told me to make this easier on myself and not fight. You were trying to help me. Are you … are you working undercover?”
It didn’t surprise him that his intelligent girl had figured that out all on her own.
But Falcon was putting a huge amount of trust in him by not pulling him even though he’d thrown a major spanner in the works by developing feelings for one of Azure’s victims, and he couldn’t betray that trust. “Emma … I'm here, and I’ll keep trying to protect you as best as I can. Let’s just leave it at that. ”
The arms around his neck tightened. “I can't, please, I need to know. You feel different than the others. They feel evil, but you don’t. Tell me, are you undercover, Nathan?”
Hearing his name on her lips almost shredded his control. “You're in dangerous water here, Emma.”
“Please, you can tell me. I won't do anything to put you in danger if you're really undercover.”
“And if I'm not?”
“Then I’ll throw you to the wolves to save myself,” she said with determination.
Nathan chuckled. “That’s my girl.”
The words slipped out before he could stop them, and Emma’s eyes grew wide. While he expected her to pull away from his possessive words, ones that took on an even deeper meaning given where she was right now, instead her grip on him tightened even further.
“I need to know I'm not going crazy. I need to know that my instincts were right when I felt there was something different about you. I need to know I'm not all alone, that there’s hope. I won't do anything to ruin your case, I promise. I won't let on to anyone that you're not one of them.”
“You think that, but you can't know what will come out under pressure.” As badly as he wanted to shield her from everything happening there, he knew he couldn’t make any promises.
He’d do his best, but there would be times he wouldn't be around to protect her, times he wouldn't make it back before punishments were given. Times he’d be there and have to watch and not let on that it was killing him inside, because if he tried to stop it, he’d give himself away.
“You’ve already basically admitted it,” she reminded him. “Please, I just need you to say it. Please.”
That whimpered plea broke through the last of his resistance. With a sigh, he dipped his forehead to rest against hers, deciding he’d give her the truth. “Yeah, blondie, I'm working undercover to bring these monsters down. But as badly as I want to, I can't get you out of here.”