Chapter 13 #2
Worry didn't even come close to describing how he felt when it came to her.
When Mateo told him he had to go help Josh with the broken-down van, he thought it would be an hour or so tops, but nothing had gone right, and the longer he was gone, the more he knew Emma wouldn't still be sitting in her cell where he left her when he got back.
Even if he’d been there, he wouldn't have been able to stop whatever punishment someone decided to dole out. Not without breaking his cover anyway. But he would have found a way to ease it for her, cut it short if he could, be the one to deliver it if possible, and if he couldn’t do any of those things, at least he could have been there for her.
It wouldn’t have been much, but at least his presence might have provided some measure of comfort.
Instead, he’d been miles away, stuck at the side of the road, forced to listen to Josh’s constant rambling, chattering away like he was high on something even though they weren't permitted to do drugs. The problem with the engine had turned out to be a lot worse than he’d been hoping for, and he’d had to take several trips to a local auto shop to grab parts.
A few times, people pulled over to see if they needed assistance, and he had to deal with the stress of talking them out of calling a tow truck because they had a kidnapped woman in the back of the van.
To add to his frustrations, Josh only had enough of the drug to administer one additional dose, so after that, they had to have Josh stay in there with her in case she woke up. At least that had given him a break from the younger man’s incessant talking.
Shutting off the engine, Nathan climbed out of the truck and stretched his back.
Maybe he should go and check on Emma before he took a shower.
He was filthy, and it would look weird that the first thing he did was go to the basement instead of taking a shower to clean up, but at least he’d get to put eyes on Emma.
On the other hand, he hadn't yet had a chance to meet up with Falcon to get the drugs, so if he went to see her first, it would mean walking away from her twice today, and he wasn't sure he was strong enough to do that.
These feelings he was developing for Emma were making him weak, yet he couldn’t bring himself to resent or regret them.
They were the most beautiful thing he’d ever experienced, even if they were also the most terrifying.
If they felt like this now, what would they feel like a year from now if they were given a chance to be nurtured and grow?
Not something he should be worrying about because they weren't going to be given that chance.
With a sigh, he headed for the elevator. He was going to have to go and take that shower. Whatever punishment Emma was suffering through wasn't really going to change whether he was there or not. Maybe she’d already suffered through it anyway and was back in her cell.
Uneasiness still rolled through him as he strolled into the elevator and hit the button for up instead of down.
There was that feeling of bugs crawling all over his skin, telling him something was wrong.
Was Emma back in that box? Of everything they could do to her, he was afraid that might be the thing that did wind up breaking her.
She was claustrophobic, which made the entire experience even worse than it already was.
If she had been put in the box, he had no way of getting her out.
She’d be in there for thirty-six hours, and there was nothing he could do to change that.
The box had left Emma shaken, and she knew he was getting the drugs today to fake her death and get her out of there.
Maybe she’d just decided to go along with whatever anyone asked of her to avoid punishments in the meantime.
Especially now that it was common knowledge that she was afraid of the box.
Hank had blabbed like a gossip that she’d begged and pleaded not to be put inside, and that she’d told him she was claustrophobic.
Now everyone knew it was a great threat or a great tool to use on her.
That uneasiness grew as he stepped out onto his floor and headed for his apartment.
Emma needed him, and he wanted to go to her.
But it felt like he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. If he didn't go to her, it was like he was abandoning her to the rest of the men there, who would enjoy every second of making her suffer.
If he did go to her, he honestly wasn't sure how he was supposed to drag himself away from her, even if it was for such an important reason as getting the drugs that would get her to safety.
Deciding he’d hurry through the shower as quickly as he could and do the bare minimum to avoid anyone wondering why it was more important to him to check in on a bunch of abducted women, who everyone else viewed as products to be sold, rather than cleaning up when he was covered in grease and oil.
Never once had Nathan seen these women as just property, but everybody else did.
The others all enjoyed torturing the women, breaking them, and they loved the money Azure made from selling them off.
While of course neither he nor any of the others were paid as much as the boss, they did make good money.
Stepping under the shower spray felt wrong when Emma hadn't taken a shower or bath since she arrived there almost a week ago. After what happened last time, he was pretty sure that when the next group shower came around, she’d play along just to enjoy the warm water and soap.
The second he was clean, he was out, not even bothering to towel off properly before throwing on a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt, then shoving his feet into a pair of sneakers. He was already out the door before he realized he hadn't put on boxers.
Oh well, not like it mattered, and he absolutely wasn't going to waste time going back to get some. Not when the need to get to Emma was thrumming through his system with an insistence that couldn’t be ignored any longer.
Aiming for nonchalance, but pretty sure he failed miserably, he headed down to the basement, hoping he could pull off pretending to be interested in who was suffering what punishment.
Those attempts fled when he reached the basement and strolled along the pathway between the rows of cages. Emma’s was empty. The blanket and pillow he’d snagged for her were both still there, the blanket strewn aside as though she’d dropped it in a hurry.
There hadn't been time to check the cameras because it had felt like a waste of time, but now he wished he’d spent those couple of minutes trying to find where she was.
“Get the van fixed?” Van asked, sticking his head out of the guards’ room.
“Yeah, took forever though,” he grumbled. “Plus, I had to listen to Josh ramble away about nothing the entire time.”
Smirking, Van nodded his agreement. “That boy never shuts up. Thought you’d come down here to unwind?”
“Need to do something to blow off some steam,” he agreed.
“Plenty of ways to do that down here.”
“Yeah, minus one. Where’s blondie? She get herself into some sort of trouble?
” Nathan asked, hoping he didn't sound as desperate for her location as he did to his own ears.
Once he knew what hell she was living through, he could figure out a way to get her out of it.
Or if she was already in the middle of a punishment, he could just head straight back out and meet up with Falcon to get the drugs, then come back and get her out.
“You could say that,” Van said with a dark chuckle that had every atom in Nathan’s body standing to attention.
“Find herself back in the box?” he asked, assuming that was where she was. As awful as it would be for her in there, she knew that he was planning on getting her out, so at least she’d be able to hold onto that, and it would help her endure.
“Nope. Deacon and William took her this morning. She’s going up for sale at an auction for buyers interested in a less well-trained new toy.”
And just like that, the bottom fell out of Nathan’s world, leaving him plummeting toward a landing he was pretty sure was going to shatter him.