Chapter 15 #2
Although Nathan was well aware there was no future for him with Emma, he couldn’t seem to stop wanting one. Repeating the facts in his mind, reminding himself that he was part of the worst thing to ever happen to her, didn't seem to make a difference.
He wanted her.
Simple as that.
Not just her body, but her mind, her strength, her bravery, her heart, and her soul. All of her. But he didn't want to own her, he wanted her to give him those pieces of herself willingly because she wanted to, and because he wouldn't hold back giving any of himself to her.
Falling for one of the victims of the trafficking ring he was trying to bring down had never occurred to him. Why would it? Those women had been abducted. They were scared and vulnerable, and it was his job to pretend to go along with it so he could put a stop to it.
There was just something different about Emma.
Something that drew him to her like a moth to a flame, and now they were both going to burn.
“Nathan, it’s your turn,” Addison’s voice broke through his spiraling thoughts.
Blinking, he did his best to clear away the terror clogging every one of his cells.
Playing Mouse Trap with three little girls and their parents was not what he wanted to be doing right now.
Not that he had anything against kids’ board games, or the three little girls currently watching him with expectant blue eyes.
It just wasn't productive for getting his girl back.
“Sure thing,” he said with a tight smile that was exclusively for Falcon’s daughters’ benefit.
Rolling the dice, he moved his little mouse the correct number of spaces along and landed on a blue one, which meant he got to work the trap.
Adelia grinned, Addison cheered, and even Azalea knew what that meant and giggled excitedly, clapping her little hands together.
“Who are you choosing?” Adelia asked, a slight warning in the seven-year-old's voice that she wouldn’t appreciate him picking her yellow mouse to put where it could get caught in the trap.
Kids had never been something he’d considered before. They didn't fit in with his undercover lifestyle, and he’d always secretly worried that the enormous pressure he already placed on himself to save everyone who entered his path would spin into overdrive and drive him insane.
But now …
The thought of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed little girl sitting in Adelia’s space, or Addison’s or Azalea’s, and a little brown-haired brother giggling in delight as he looked up to the big sister he adored, mini versions of himself and Emma, haunted him.
She’ll never want a man like you.
Heeding that warning, Nathan shoved all thoughts of Emma and a future aside and instead tapped his chin with his forefinger as he pretended to think. “Well, I think I'm going to have to go with … your dad.”
“Dude,” Falcon muttered, but they all knew there was no other choice Nathan would make. He wasn't picking either of the seven-year-olds, nor was he picking the two-year-old and her mother, who were playing as a team.
Setting Falcon’s green mouse beneath the basket, Nathan made a big show of getting ready to pull back the stop sign, and with an exaggerated cheer, he let it go.
They all watched, the girls with so much childish joy it made his heart ache, as the linked system began to move, sending one thing after another rolling, spiraling, or sliding toward the next, until finally the basket wobbled, then slid down, trapping Falcon’s mouse inside.
“It got you, Dad!” Adelia cheered.
“Ha ha, Daddy,” Addison added.
“Got you, Daddy. Got you, got you, got you,” Azalea added, clapping her little hands.
Falcon grumbled, but it was clear as day how much he enjoyed spending time with his kids, how much he adored them, and that he’d let his mouse get caught in a trap every day for the rest of his life if it brought them even an ounce of joy.
It always surprised Nathan to see the huge man who was known for his gruff attitude and somewhat scary expression, being so soft with his girls, but it shouldn’t.
Beneath the grumpy exterior, Falcon had a big heart, and he was glad the man had fallen for a woman who could hold her own with him.
They had the perfect little family he doubted Falcon would ever have admitted before meeting Hope that he would one day like to have.
A family like the one Nathan was just beginning to admit to himself that he wanted.
Impossible though it might be, it was a lovely dream, and maybe one he would have to consider with a little more thought once he’d found a way to save Emma.
Which was what he should be working on right now.
It had been a mistake to let Falcon talk him into playing with the girls.
He knew it was his boss’ way of trying to distract him and take his mind off things for a little while, but it felt like such a waste of time as he sat in this beautiful house, safe and sound, while Emma was out there enduring who knows what kind of hell.
Unfortunately, the problem was that Nathan did know the kinds of hell she would be going through, and he’d been driving himself crazy dwelling on it nonstop.
About to open his mouth and tell his boss that he needed to go back to trying to search for details on last night’s auction, his phone suddenly buzzed with a text.
No one had this number.
Not even his parents or older brother. They had access to a different cell phone number that he rarely monitored because he made it a point to reach out to them before they could reach out to him, since he didn't want them catching on to what he did for a living.
Thankfully, his brother was married with four kids under ten and barely had time to breathe, let alone worry about what Nathan was doing with his life.
And after his mom had struggled with alcohol addiction while Nathan was growing up, she was clean and sober for the last twenty years.
Now that both she and his dad were retired, they were enjoying their golden years by traveling the globe.
Friends were non-existent in his world, and he’d blocked everyone from Azure when he decided he was out.
Trepidation slid through him as he reached into his pocket. As though sensing the change in his demeanor, Hope stood and ushered the girls off to the kitchen with promises of making nachos for lunch, and Falcon looked at him expectantly.
“I blocked Azure,” he said as he pulled out his cell phone. “Which pretty much means I blew my cover just walking out of there and cutting contact. It can't be anyone from them.”
“It’s someone with your number,” Falcon reminded him.
“Could it be one of your other undercover operatives?” he asked.
“I contacted them and asked them to let me know if they heard anything about Emma, but not to do anything that would make anyone suspicious. The last thing we need is all of you blowing your covers at once before we have what we need to bring Azure down.”
Nathan winced, knowing he should have prioritized the job he’d signed up for over a woman who was going to want nothing to do with him, even if he could get her back home to her family.
A woman he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about, a woman for whom the thought of never seeing again made him feel like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the universe.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have left,” he said, unable to look at the screen in case it was bad news. Hell, of course it was bad news, what other kind of news about Emma was he going to get?
“Don’t be sorry, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, and you were right, if your head wasn't one hundred percent in the game, you were a liability. What does the text say?”
Forcing himself to look down at the screen, Nathan braced himself for news that Emma was dead, or that finding out who bought her was impossible. Instead, two words stared back at him.
The one thing he’d been hoping to see but convincing himself he wouldn't.
A name.