Chapter 18 #2
“Sure you're not. Why else would you be here?” she growled.
“Knowing I was sold wasn't enough for you, was it? You had to lie to me, give me false hope, string me along just to be cruel, and then you fly all the way over here to Africa to what … rub it in my face? Mock me? Taunt me? Remind me that you have all the power while I have none?”
“Emma,” he said softly, painfully. Knowing she thought that of him even though he had failed her and she had no reason to believe he hadn't been lying, cut through him, leaving him flayed open before her.
His tone must have resonated with her because she stilled. Glancing over her shoulder at him again, he saw the confusion swimming in her gorgeous blue eyes. The anger was still there, hurt too, but now there was an element of uncertainty.
“I never lied to you, blondie,” he told her, infusing as much sincerity into his voice as he possibly could. “I was telling you the truth when I said I was working undercover, and I was telling you the truth when I said I was planning on faking your death and getting you out before you were sold.”
“But I was sold,” she said, a quiver slipping into her tone.
Closing his eyes, fighting not to choke on the guilt and regret, he gentled his hold since she didn't appear to be trying to get away from him any longer.
“I know, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry. I got sent out to fix a van that broke down with a girl in the back. I was on my way down with breakfast to check on you when I was told to go. By the time I got back, it was too late, you were already gone.”
“You left,” she whispered, and her voice wobbled.
“I didn't want to, blondie, I swear I didn't. If I’d thought I could refuse to go fix the van, I would have stayed, but I would have given myself away, and I thought that would put you in more danger. When I got back and learned what happened, I … lost it.” The admission came easily. Knowing what she’d thought of him, he shouldn’t let on that he felt more for her than was professional, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“You lost it?” Her brows furrowed adorably, and he couldn’t help reaching out with one hand and smoothing the pad of his thumb along her forehead.
“Of course I did, blondie. You were gone. Gone. I left as soon as I could pack up my things and get out.”
“Left?”
“Blew my cover to go talk to my boss to figure out how I was going to find you and get you back.”
“Blew your cover? You can’t do that.”
“I did.”
“But all those other women—”
“Aren't you,” he inserted, his fingers sweeping across her temple before he palmed her cheek. “I care about all of them, want to save them, but they don’t mean something to me personally beyond my job.”
“And I mean something to you?”
Abruptly, he set her down and took a step back, needing some distance before he made a complete fool of himself.
“It’s not appropriate, blondie. You’re a victim, I was in a position of power.
Even if I wasn't what you first thought I was, I'm still part of the worst thing to ever happen to you, and I … I failed you in the worst possible way. I let you get sold. Hurt.” His fingers reached out to brush across a lump on her forehead. Even if Emma could ever forgive him, he’d never forgive himself.
“But I mean something to you?” she pushed, and he didn't have the heart to lie, the least he owed her was complete honesty.
“Yeah, blondie. It’s wrong, and I'm not putting any pressure on you. I have zero expectations. I understand you just want to get far away from me and forget I ever existed, but yeah, I have feelings for you.”
“I thought you'd abandoned me,” she murmured. “I thought you’d been lying to me the whole time, trying to mess with my head, trying to break me. It hurt.” Her voice cracked completely on that last word, and tears rolled down her cheeks in a steady stream.
“It shouldn’t have hurt. I should have just been angry, you were just one of the guys who abducted me, but it hurt. A lot. It felt like a betrayal.”
She may as well be slicing through his chest and ripping out his heart. If she wanted to punish him for failing her, she was doing a damn good job of it. “I get it, blondie,” he assured her. “You hate me, and you have every reason to.”
For a long moment, she just stood there and stared at him.
The clothes she wore were too big for her slim frame, and a weariness in her eyes spoke of the horrors she’d endured.
He wanted so badly to fold her into his arms, cradle her against his chest, drop kisses to the top of her head, and whisper consolations to her until she believed she was safe now and nothing would ever touch her again.
Instead, he stood there, giving her time to formulate whatever thoughts she needed to. At least he should be glad she seemed to want to spare his feelings. It was more than he deserved.
“I don’t hate you, I think … I might like you too.
I knew from the beginning that you were different.
I don’t know how, I just knew. You protected me when you didn't have to, risking your life in the process, and putting your job on the line.
Then you quit, blew your cover, all because of me.
I thought you played me, but I was wrong.
You're here, you didn't give up on me. You came for me.”
“Nowhere in the world you could be that I wouldn't come for you, blondie,” he told her, tentatively reaching for her again. When she didn't pull away, he cradled her cheek in his hand, letting out a breath of relief when she nuzzled into it.
“Thank you for coming,” she whispered, offering him a wan smile.
“Don’t think you needed me to, blondie, you already had yourself free.”
Emma shrugged. “I got away, but we both know I wasn't going to survive out there on my own. At least with you, I stand a chance.”
“Not just me, blondie. I brought a whole Delta Force team with me.”
Eyes widening, Emma gasped. “A Delta Force team came all the way here just for me?”
“Course they did,” he said, tucking a lock of tangled hair behind her ear. “I told you, there was nowhere you could be that I wouldn’t look for you, and I sure as hell wasn't coming here and not getting you out.”
Taking a step closer, she tilted her head back to look up at him. “Is Nathan really your name?”
“It is.”
“Thank you, Nathan, for everything you did for me, for being here now.” Pushing up onto her tiptoes, she touched a kiss to his cheek.
“Always, sweetheart.” Framing her face with his hands, he leaned in, paused, then when she sucked in a breath, her gaze dropping to his lips, he closed the distance between them and feathered his lips across hers.
Uttering a soft sigh, she deepened the kiss, and he let her take the lead despite the fact that they’d already been standing in the open for too long when he should be grabbing her and running back to the safety of the jeep and the Delta guys.
In the distance someone shouted.
Gunshots were fired.
Emma jerked backward, fear coating her features.
Nathan snatched her into his arms, turned, and ran.