Chapter 19 #2
“I know that, Van,” she said gently, as if he were the one who needed soothing right now when she was the one putting her life on the line.
For him. For Prey. For every other woman who would fall victim to Azure.
None of this was for herself because if she were putting herself first, she would be sitting in this SUV, not outside Asahi Watanabe’s home, but on her way to the airport, ready to go home.
“Do you?” he growled, because all these emotions he was feeling right now were like distant, unwanted friends.
Well, mostly unwanted. Working undercover at Azure had always been easy for him, as had all his other jobs, because he didn't get angry.
He did this job because it suited his skillset, not because he got emotionally invested in saving victims.
“Of course I do.” She lifted a hand and placed it on his forearm, braced against the roof of the car as she slid closer. “I understand what I'm risking, and I'm willing to do it.”
“Because you're too good,” he grumbled. It was what he liked about her, respected about her, what had managed to get through his shields. But he hated that the very qualities about her he loved were also what were going to put her in danger. “I can't control what happens when we get in there.”
“You said you wouldn't leave without me, that’s enough,” she assured him.
“Never, sweetheart,” he vowed. He didn't make promises. Ever. Why would he when he formed zero connections with anyone and focused only on doing the job he was hired to do? But he couldn’t let Makayla walk in there, risk her freedom and her life, without her knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would never leave her behind.
“Hate to break this up, but we need to move,” Trigger said, looking at him from the other side of the SUV.
“It’s okay, Van. It’s going to be okay. I trust you, I trust the guys, this is going to work out, and we’re going to find what we need to destroy Azure,” Makayla said, her soft voice soothing the roughest edges of his anger and fear, as her fingers tightened on his arm.
“Wish we didn't have to do this,” he said as he pulled out a pair of plastic zip ties. He couldn’t just walk her in there free, he was here as a representative for Azure, and he was reclaiming a prisoner.
He wasn't supposed to care about her, and when he walked into that house, he would have to put on his Azure persona.
Something that should be second nature to him and yet felt incredibly foreign.
“I know you do, but I want to help,” she assured him.
“Too good, you're too damn good,” he muttered as he took both her wrists in one of his hands, caressing her soft skin, and hating that the hard plastic was going to cut into it, mar it, maybe even leave behind scars.
“It’s really okay, Van. I swear, I can do this, I won't let you down.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I'm not worried about you letting me down.
I'm terrified that I'm going to let you down.” Putting those plastic zip ties around her wrists was one of the single hardest things he’d ever done in his life, which was why he didn't tighten them anywhere near as much as he would have for anyone else.
“Sorry, man, you're going to have to tighten those,” Trigger said, watching through the window. “They see the cuffs that loose, they’ll know something is up. We’re already leaving the bandages on, which is a risk.
We can't afford anything else if we want to ensure we get her out. Sorry, Makayla, I know this makes it more uncomfortable for you.”
“It’s okay, Trigger,” she told the other man, then offered him another one of those sweet smiles. “It’s going to be okay, Van, please keep faith, because if you don’t, then I can't.”
The slight wobble in her voice threatened to undo him, but by allowing herself a moment of vulnerability, she was also giving him something tangible to hold on to.
Makayla needed him to be strong, needed him to stop treating her like she was fragile and incapable, when all she’d done since he met her was prove she was anything but. That he could do.
“You got this, sweetheart. I believe in you, it’s just I don’t want to let you down.”
“You won't let me down, Van.”
That she said it with such confidence eased his fears a little.
Pulling on the plastic zip tie, he tightened it to the same point he would have for anyone else.
Then he reached in and scooped her up. There was no way in hell he was letting her walk on her feet, she’d be lucky if she could bear weight on them in a week, although knowing what he did about Makayla, she’d walk in there with her back straight and her head held high, and never let on that she was in excruciating pain.
Trigger was right that leaving the bandages on made it clear they’d treated her cut-up feet, but he was sure he could convince them that he’d done it to be helpful to them, given her a shot of antibiotics, and cleaned the wound so she wouldn't get sick, and Asahi Watanabe would get his money’s worth.
Before he lifted her out of the car, he pressed his lips to hers, aware that it could be the last time he ever got to if things turned bad. “Want to be the person you can trust, sweetheart, the one you know is safe, who will never let you down.”
“You are, Van. Because you came. You didn't have to. You could have just let the others handle it, could have let them come with someone else from Azure and handle this differently, but you came. For me.”
Holding onto those words, Van did what he knew he had to do.
He carefully maneuvered her out of the car, making sure not to bump her head against the roof of the car in doing so.
This was the last thing he wanted to do, and it went against every one of his newly awakened protective instincts, but they didn't have a choice, and Makayla was right in that she could handle this. He just wasn't sure he could.
But since there was no other choice, he reached for the emptiness that had saved him so many times before, letting it cover him in a blanket of nothingness. Only what had always been so easy to do before, now seemed much too difficult.
With the guys flanking him and Makayla in his arms, he strolled up the front steps of the impressive mansion, and when Lucky knocked on the door, it was opened a mere minute later.
To the rest of the world, it would look like he was simply here to do a job, that he didn't care one iota for the woman in his arms. Instead, he cared too much. A scary amount.
It was a young maid who opened the door, but as he carried Makayla into the foyer, Asahi Watanabe himself appeared. Dressed in silk pajamas, walking down the grand staircase, his gaze zeroed in on Makayla, the twigs still in her hair, the bandages on her feet, the bloodstained maid’s uniform.
“Missing something?” Van asked, as he held out Makayla as though she were a sacrifice, and that’s exactly what she was.
To find the proof he and Prey needed to destroy Azure, he had to offer up an innocent woman, knowing that she might wind up paying with her life, and there might be nothing he could do to stop it from happening.