Chapter 60 Serafina
SERAFINA
Lev strides by my open door without even a peek inside, which is unlike him. Abandoning my phone, I slip out of bed, rush across the room, and reach the doorway just as his own bedroom door slams shut behind him.
Anastasia rounds the corner then, her frown trained on her brother’s door as she comes to stop beside me. “When he kills, it reminds him of his past.”
Oh. Lev mentioned having to go to the gym, but nothing about it being work-related. Nothing about the possibility of memories from his time in prison.
“Who did he kill?”
“Does it matter?” A challenge runs through her tone, matched by the arched brow.
“Of course not.”
Her frown breaks, and she squeezes my hand. “Sorry. When he’s like this, I get…well, doesn’t matter.”
“It’s fine. Should I leave him be?”
She stares down the hallway again, humming. “You know…no, I don’t think so. You might be the only one he’d be interested in being around. You’ve broken every other barrier, so why not this one?”
“I’ve broken no barriers. He’s done it all himself.”
Her voice trails me to his room, barely heard before I’m shutting his door. “My point exactly.”
In his room, shower noises comes from the bathroom. I rush through the space, past the new TV he installed in here the other day, and into his bathroom. The glass doors are already steamed, the mirror above the sink well on its way too.
A Lev-shaped blur is visible, his palms against the wall, head lowered as hot water pelts his back.
I strip quickly and quietly to join him. The door sends a cool stream of air into the steamed glass box, but he shows no sign that he cares I’m entering. I stroke over his wet back and up the old scars and tattoos that indicate his dedication to this life.
“Hi,” he murmurs so quietly, the water drowns most of it out.
“You okay?”
“The person who fed Vitale information is gone.” Coiled muscles spring to life when he turns around, revealing specks of red rinsing on face and neck. Besides the drying blood splatter being washed away, he seems alright—physically.
There isn’t anything to really say except, “Grazie,” and I wrap my arms around his waist, giving him whatever I can, whatever parts of me he needs to heal.
After a few stiff and awkward seconds, his muscles uncoil, and his arms come around my body, his own curving over me. He buries his face in my hair, and we remain like that for a long moment until, with a shuddered breath in my neck, he turns us around until the hot water hits my back.
“It’s not killing that bothers me,” he murmurs.
“Not even close, actually. I don’t…feel their deaths, if that makes sense.
Taking Vitale’s life was simple, and no less than what I dreamed about.
Previous kills never mattered; they were my job.
And so was this one—because it’s my job to keep you safe, and there’s no way you’ll be living in an organization where someone can be bought so easily.
But I hate how fighting brings me back to another time. ”
“Do you need to talk about it?” Although, knowing Lev, I think we just did.
As presumed, he shakes his head. “This is perfect. Just stay, please. Stay. That’s all…that’s all I need from you.”
His trauma is always hinted at, never spoken aloud. There’s something he isn’t saying. Something big. Though it might be years before it’s mentioned again, I don’t prod.
Minutes pass before his hold loosens, and he tilts my face with a finger beneath my chin. “Make no mistake, I’ll torture and murder anyone who comes near you, no matter the flashbacks. You’ve been mine to protect since day one, and that isn’t stopping now. Mine to protect…mine to care for.”
Then he lowers onto his knees to show me exactly what his brand of care is.
He grips my thigh and tosses it over his shoulder, barely letting me catch my breath before his mouth is on my core, his tongue bringing me to the edge. Electricity makes my body tingle, my back arching off the shower wall to press into him, getting closer, needing more.
Needing him.
“Lev.” I push my hips backwards and try to lower my leg while nudging at his head. “Lev, stop.”
He does immediately, tipping his head back. “Are you not feeling well?”
Ever since we’ve gotten back from Italy, he’s been overly gentle, never wanting to push me too hard. We haven’t had sex yet because he fears my concussion flaring up. Whether that’s possible, I don’t know.
“I feel great. But I want you.”
Fire ignites, which he quickly douses. “Not until—”
A finger to his lips shuts him up. “Lev, I’m fine, and I want you. Right now. I think, after today, you need it too. To feel that I’m yours.” I grasp his hand from my hip and rest it atop my breast, where my heart is. “Only yours.”
Maybe it was my words, maybe it was the mention of what he endured today, but it seems to unlock his resistance. Lev stands and wraps his arms around my hips in one movement, my legs winding around his hips. He grasps himself, rubbing the head of his cock through my wetness.
“All mine,” he grates before pulling me down on him.
“Only mine. No one will touch you. No one will hurt you. I’ll slaughter the world to keep you safe.
I’ll return to my prison cell if it means you live a long, happy life.
” His hips slap against mine as his eyes, glazed, centre on me.
I realize whatever I did, I didn’t just unlock his restraint—I shattered it.
His cock pounds harder, deeper than ever. My nails dig into his shoulders as my head flings back against the wall. “Shit, Lev.”
He ducks, capturing a nipple between his teeth. He’s usually so gentle with me, but he isn’t this time as he bites until it’s red and throbbing and then does the same to the other.
“Then again,” he murmurs into my skin, “they’ll need to catch me first. I’ll never be locked in that fucking cell again if it means being away from you. Not unless they want a psychopath who’ll smash every stone to return to you.”
I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I don’t interrupt him. Hell, I’m not even sure Lev is completely present anymore.
It’s okay, because this is what he needs, and not enough people have been giving him that. Love, affection—there’s a lifetime for me to make up. So, as he thrusts into me, pulling my orgasm closer to the edge, I grip his hair, his neck, his shoulders, and let him do what he needs to.
To take me how he needs.
“Lev,” I groan, reminding us both I’m here.
“Fina,” he answers, hoisting one of my legs up higher and changing the angle slightly. “Come for me, printessa. Come now.”
I do, and he soon follows, our pasts washed away with the force of our joint release.
Later, Lev heads downstairs while I return to my room to grab my cell before joining him in the basement. As I do, it lights up with the messages delivered in my absence.
Amara
I’m sorry.
Our friendship was a lie, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. Good luck in life.
I read it four times over, nearly unable to believe the words. She wasn’t at the wedding and kept me blocked in the weeks leading up to it, even after revealing herself.
I mistype my password three times before eventually unlocking the device.
Me
It’s okay. Can we talk? Can I call you? I miss you.
The message hangs for a few long seconds before being delivered. Delivered turns to Read, and I bring the device even nearer, anticipating her reply.
Amara
No.
I’m sorry for the role I played in my cousin’s deception. For what it’s worth, I’m glad he’s dead and it’s all over.
Don’t contact this number again. I’ll be moving to the US soon.
Thank you for giving me a normal secondary school experience.
The talks, the parties, the study sessions—all of those were real to me.
I’d hoped to get more months with you at uni, but now you can guess why I had to go home after move-in.
When Alessio gave me next steps, I felt like I was losing something real.
You’re free, Sera. Use it wisely.
It’s a pointless attempt, but one I try, nonetheless, needing to hear her voice one more time. No fighting, no explanations, just to talk. If she really is leaving, never planning on answering again, then at least give me this much…
My finger stabs into her name, dialling her number.
It rings twice before being abruptly cut off. My heart flies, assuming she’s picked up, a deep inhale the start of my impending ramble, only for the mechanical voice on the other end to talk instead.
“We’re sorry, but this number is no longer in service.”
Hope dwindles until I drop my phone to the bed, rereading her final words, trying to make sense of it. Her initial one sounded like the Amara who walked into Zeno’s restaurant, but the rest was my friend.
Taking the phone, I slip down to the basement to show Lev. He’s at his desk, working, and, without looking away from the screen, loops his arm around my waist to drag me onto his lap—something he’s doing more and more lately.
I lower my phone to the desk so he can read the messages himself.
“The United States, huh? Bet we’ll see a wedding engagement soon enough. Assuming that’s why she’s being sent. The Famiglia and another Cosa Nostra family own the US. No other reason for her to be there.” He nudges my phone further away. “You okay?”
“It’s weird; I don’t know whether to be mad or not. She lied to me, but she really was my friend. I only knew her for the last year, yet she’s basically the only one I kept in contact with.”
“Maybe it’s something for the future. Let a year or so pass. Let her settle from what happened and then reach out to her. In the meantime, I’ll keep an eye on anything that comes stateside about her.”
“Might be a good idea.” It’s nowhere near enough, but it’s something. Lev’s correct; maybe with time and her own healing, she’ll come around.
“Yes, and speaking of the future…” He pushes his chair back from the desk, lifts me into his arms, and carries me to the couch while keeping me on his lap. “We should talk about yours.”
All the dread I felt grows heavier in my body.
“My sister not-so-subtly pointed out that you might be worried, and I don’t want you to be.
Us being together changes nothing, Fina.
Whatever your post-university plans are, I want you to do them.
I’ll stand by you. Your brother fought hard to keep you from the life of a mafia printessa, and I don’t want you to feel like that’s what you need to be.
The Serafina Mancini I fell in love with isn’t a Cosa Nostra robot. ”
I never had doubts about Lev’s plans, like I told Zeno in the hospital the other day, but hearing then straight from his mouth prevents future arguments. So, I lean forward to kiss him, only for his chin to lift slightly, blocking me.
“There’s more. I want you…need you…to—if—” Frustration locks his muscles, his gaze moving from me to the TV on the wall.
“You’ve changed me, Fina, in all the right ways, but I don’t think I can change more than this.
If, one day, you wake up and realize you want someone normal, someone who might want kids…
those will never be me. Whatever’s wrong with me isn’t going away.
And I don’t think children are for me. The noise, the crying…
” He shudders. “When Vanessa eventually pops out her heir, it’s as close as I can get. ”
Oh. Oh. I hadn’t thought that far in the future. Lev trying to plan one hundred steps ahead is everything.
I readjust myself until I’m over his lap and his face is between my palms. “One, you’re perfect.
Please never change. You’re who I fell in love with, and nothing will ever change that.
And two, Lev, I don’t even like children.
They’re messy, annoying, and rude. Like you, I always assumed whoever Z got with would make me an aunt and that’d be enough. ”
Relief filters through the brown of his eyes, and then somehow, they soften even more. “I love you, Serafina Mancini. You taught me the definition of the word. I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving myself to you.”
“I love you, Lev Petrov, and don’t need you to prove anything. Just be with me.”
“On my soul…on the heart gripped in your hand, I vow to never leave you.”
Since he’s a man of actions over words, I bring my mouth to his, vowing myself to him in return. To never leave him, to love and protect him…to never weaponize him.
To be with him.
Just like this—forever.