Chapter 2
Charlotte
Being fertile is humiliating. That alone sums up my situation.
On top of really needing to get over my ex by making new memories, I genuinely needed sex to relieve stress and settle my uterus down.
But even though I'm inside a university with thousands of young people bursting with hormones and more than willing to sleep with anything that moves, for me it isn't so simple.
I was never the most extroverted person.
I'm not exactly shy, I just really like my comfort zones.
In school they called me a nerd, because I never struggled with any subject, especially math and language, plus I was always living with my face buried in some book.
But I got along just fine that way, thank you very much.
I had a few friends besides my cousin and had fun going out with them.
I'd even risk the occasional party, because I loved to dance.
That's how I caught Johnny's attention. We were in the same year and he was one of the best-looking guys in school, so, yes, I always had a bit of a thing for the guy with the huge shoulders, the nice smile, and the football player status.
But he only noticed me sophomore year of high school, when I got my braces off and my boobs finally decided to show up.
He asked me to dance at a little party in some classmate's basement, and after that... we never let go of each other again.
And only now am I starting to realize I ended up making him the center of my world back then.
Things started to change when I got to college and saw the classes weren't so easy anymore and I had to apply myself, especially if I wanted to stand out and land a job as soon as I graduated.
That's when his complaints started, about me not giving him enough attention, about not going with him to every damn game and party with the football crowd.
I'd go to one here and there just to please him, but I always came back early so I could get a good night's sleep, only to be forced to put up with him sulking about it the next day.
How was it possible he didn't understand my side?
Still, after a few months he actually stopped insisting I come. He'd swing by my dorm before heading to the game, give me a kiss, and sweetly tell me I really should just stay in and study or rest. Obviously that was because by that point he was already cheating on me.
Fucking asshole!
I grunt to myself in the dorm hallway and a girl gives me a "what's your problem, psycho?" look, but I ignore her completely and head out of the student building, since I have to be at the Statistics support room in twenty minutes and it's on the opposite side of Lexington Crown.
Johnny was actually the reason I chose Lexington Crown University over Harvard, which also sent me an acceptance letter. Harvard used to be my dream, but I didn't even blink when he said it would be so much better if we went to the same college so we'd never have to be apart. It seemed so sweet...
God, I was so stupid!
I'll admit I still don't quite understand how the guy I once fell in love with became the one who cheated on me and then, when I confronted him, said every kind of horrible thing to me.
"What did you expect, Charlie? All you care about is studying, reading, and at most going out for pizza. I'm a fucking football player! I've got to go to parties, meet people, and have fun in my free time!" he accuses, throwing his arms open, and my mouth forms an O of outrage.
"I went to plenty of parties to be there with you! I just didn't stay up all night like you guys! And then you were the one who said it was fine if I didn't come!" I shout, and he shrugs.
"At first, yeah. After that it was just a great way to keep having my fun," he says with the most shameless face I've ever seen. I lose it completely and go at him, smacking the tall blond guy on the shoulder.
"You bastard! I hate you! You're a huge son of a bitch!" I scream while I hit him and cry, all at the same time.
"Stop it, you psycho!" he says, trying to fend off my slaps. When he manages to catch my arms in his fingers, he huffs and gives me a mocking smile. "And you want to know something else? I went after other girls because on top of everything you're terrible in bed too!"
That made me stop, and I pull out of his grip, taking steps back, and shake my head no.
I didn't recognize the man in front of me. It was like a fucking nightmare.
"Get out! Get out! Leave! Get out of my sight and out of my life," I say with one last thread of strength, because my whole body aches and trembles, and I'm about to drop to the floor of my room.
"Oh, I'm going. I was only with you because it was comfortable, but all I have to do is blink and ten others prettier and hotter than you land in my lap," he finishes cruelly, and I clench my jaw.
I grab the first thing I see on my nightstand and hurl it at him.
Unfortunately the bastard makes it through the door before I can hit him.
When the object slams against the wood and drops to the floor already in pieces, I realize it was my favorite mug, but I'm so numb to everything else that I don't even care.
I know I follow him and throw even more things at him, but I barely register what I'm doing.
I go back into my room and stare at the floor.
The shards of the mug will be easy to clean up.
What do I do with the shards of my heart, my trust, my self-esteem?
I let myself slide to the floor and cry even harder.
I let out a long sigh at the memory and feel my throat tighten, the urge to cry reaching for me the way it always does, but I don't let it, because I promised myself I'd get past this crying phase.
Now it would be the hatred phase. And the revenge phase.
I refused to let this piece of shit named Jonathan Blakely keep me at rock bottom forever. My confidence and self-esteem might be shaken, and they weren't much to begin with, but I was determined to turn this game around.
My cousin repeated that speech to me practically every day, which was helping too.
But right now I really needed to kiss another mouth to forget the con artist's.
I'd actually already kissed one. The Kappa Nu fraternity threw a huge party last week and Maddie talked me into going.
I ended up making out with a tall, really good-looking Black guy, but we got interrupted when a drunk girl threw up on my foot and I nearly died of disgust. I ran to wash my shoes in the bathroom and then left without even asking the guy's name.
Which was really a shame, because he had game and a really good kiss, but now I'm just counting on luck to run into him again. He might not even go to Lexington Crown, so I wasn't going to get my hopes up.
I needed to find new opportunities for romance. Or actually, not romance. Love and feelings only brought disappointment and cheating. What I needed was casual sex. A friend with benefits, at most. Someone I trusted enough to open up to, but didn't run the risk of falling for.
But how do I find that? Just the thought of downloading a dating app gave me the creeps. Who knows what kind of weirdo I'd come across. So the only option left was to go to more parties...
I stop dwelling on my sad social, sexual, and love life when I finally reach the math and sciences building. Most of the support and tutoring rooms were in the basement, including Statistics, and that's where I head.
I liked my job as Professor Whitman's assistant.
She taught several math-related subjects across the university and I'd loved her freshman-year classes, so I was thrilled when she offered me the position, since it gave me the chance to build up my résumé and also guaranteed the extra income I needed to keep myself here.
I help her in the classroom, grade tests and assignments, and also spend an hour a day in the support room answering questions from anyone who needs help.
I blink fast as I get close to the room and see the lights are already on and the door is open.
Monday-morning tutoring sessions weren't the most popular, except when the end of the semester rolled around and everyone panicked, so I'm surprised to think there's someone here before me.
I'll even admit I was planning to spend this time reading an erotic romance on my Kindle.
I check the watch on my wrist to make sure I'm not late and breathe a sigh of relief when I see I've got five minutes to spare.
Walking into the room, I come face to face with Ethan Clarke.
And I swear my uterus breaks into applause.