Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
SIX WEEKS LATER ….
D eke waited for Suzi outside the women’s locker room at Defenses so he could take her home. Her car was in the shop for repair, so she couldn’t get home on her own. It would take some doing to convince her, but in.
She’d let him take her home, but only after he convinced her. And he would because no way in hell was his Little girl driving that thing she called a car all the way out to the ranch. Reid and Winnie were supposed to have looked it over earlier that afternoon. No way would Reid have let it leave the shop in that condition.
He hated watching her battle between what she wanted and what she thought she should want. As soon as the girls filed out, he headed straight to her.
“Let’s go, Rosebud,” he said.
“Go where?” she asked.
“Well, since your car’s in the shop, you need a ride home.”
When all her friends turned to look at her, waiting for her response, she blushed before pasting on a smile that never made it to her eyes. “That’s okay. I wouldn’t ask you to do that. It’s not like the ranch is on your way. I’ll figure something out.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. It’s too late to figure something out, little girl.” He shuddered to think what her solution would be. She proved him right with her next words.
As she pulled out her phone, she said, “No, really. It would be too much of a bother. I’ll just get a taxi or an Uber.”
Deke scowled. Over his dead body was she getting into a stranger’s car and riding, alone, out to her uncle’s ranch this late at night. Or ever. “That’s not happening. What did Winnie and Reid say was wrong with your car?”
Suzi nibbled her bottom lip. “Winnie would rather be customizing some new Lamborghini or something rather than work on my old clunker.”
“Suzi,” Winnie said. “That’s not true. I wish you’d told me. Reid and I would have been happy to take a look.”
He didn’t like the way Suzi’s shoulders slumped. “Rosebud, if you didn’t take your car to Winnie’s, where is your car?”
“Who’s asking?” Gabi, Suzi’s best friend, demanded.
He’d said it before, and he’d say it again. Gabi was a nut, but she was crazy protective of the people she loved. He could respect that, even if it irritated him.
“Who does it sound like is asking?” he said, trying to keep his tone even.
“It is a question that should always be asked. You could always be acting as a puppet for someone else.”
“I don’t think anyone but Deke would want to know where my car is, Gabs,” Suzi said. Turning her eyes back to him, she lifted her chin. This should be good. “I found a place called Honest Abe’s Car Genie. The man I talked to said they could fix everything for less than fifty dollars. Unless they found something they weren’t expecting.”
Deke gritted his teeth. What Able Spivey expected was to take his customers for everything they were worth. The guy was a shark in grease-stained overalls.
“Rosebud,” Deke purposefully, pulling out his Daddy voice.
“I know! But he’d already looked at it when he said that. When I told him no thank you, he said I had to pay him the fifty dollars for his time, so I might as well leave it.”
“I’ll take care of Abe tomorrow. Then we’ll go together and drop your car off at Winnie and Reid’s shop. Is there anything else you want to tell me before we go?”
“Actually, I--′
Gabi covered Suzi’s mouth with her hand. “Be careful! Once it’s recorded, you can’t keep it out of court,” Gabi said. Turning to face Deke, she eyed him with suspicion. “We should frisk him to see if he’s wearing a wire.”
Oh, for god’s sake. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or shake her. “Isn’t it past your bedtime, Gabi? You weren’t in the locker room, and all the fitness classes ended an hour ago. Didn’t Raleigh say he wants you in bed by ten every night so you could get a good night’s sleep before work?”
The pink heat that colored her cheeks at his question piqued his curiosity.
“I was taking a private dance lesson, not that it’s any of your business. And it’s certainly not any business of Raleigh’s. Just because he’s the boss of the law office doesn’t mean he’s the boss of me.”
Suzi stepped between the two of them, smiling back at Gabi. “No worries, Gabs. I’ll be fine.” Her smile disappeared when she turned back to Deke. “I still don’t see why I can’t call a taxi or an Uber.”
“It’s too dangerous,” he said.
“No it’s not. You can’t take me all the way out to my uncle’s ranch. It’s already late.”
It was all he could do to keep his lips from twitching. After a glance at his watch, he crossed his arms. “Ten o’clock. I’ll remind you of that the next time you’re still at your office at midnight.”
Suzi’s posse of Musketiaras still stood gathered around her. The only difference now was their men had joined them. His brothers didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave. Nosy bastards.
“Deke!” She stomped her foot and cried, “Give me back my bag.”
Walking to her, he caught her chin between his thumb and finger. “Little girls who stomp their foot at their Daddy get their butts smacked. I’ll give you your bag when we get to my car.” Taking her by the hand, he led her toward the door.
“You make me so mad!” she said as she stomped to keep up with him.
“Well, since I’m already making you mad, there's no reason not to tell you that if I hear of you taking a taxi or Uber anywhere instead of calling me, you’ll be sitting on a red, hot bottom when I find you. And I don’t care where you are.”
For the first time in his life, he was glad she drove that piece of shit car of hers. It gave him a reason to be close to her. He hated that she took taxis and Ubers when he wasn’t in Darling. She damn sure wasn’t taking them when he was standing right in front of her.
He made a mental note to tell his brothers to watch out for her when he was on assignment. Scratch that. If her car situation didn’t get resolved soon, he would buy her a new one himself.
Six weeks. That’s how long ago they’d talked about him Daddying her and helping her find her Little. The universe had been conspiring against him. He’d either been out of town on a case or working a bodyguard assignment that took all his time and attention. But he couldn’t say things weren’t moving in the right direction.
They’d kept in touch by phone. They talked or texted throughout the day. He’d loved every minute of time she gave him, whether they were bantering back and forth or talking about more serious things.
When they reached the front door of Defenses, he held it open for her. With a huge sigh of exasperation he could swear was feigned, she said, “Fine,” loud enough for her friends to hear, and crossed out to the sidewalk.
He’d parked a few blocks away, and they took the first block in silence. Deke just waited. There was no way his Rosebud could last three blocks without talking. If he didn’t miss his guess, she had something weighing on her. He’d let her work it out and tell him what was going on in her head in her own time.
“I don’t like Gage anymore,” Suzi stated one block from Deke’s car. “He’s mean.”
The corners of Deke’s lips tipped up. Thankfully, the dark kept her from noticing. The idea that she still didn’t think she was Little was ludicrous.
It was true the night at Defenses hadn’t gone according to plan. And apparently, Breezy Boucher, Gage’s Little girl, had shared a part of her past that none of her fellow Musketiaras had known. “He tattled on all the girls to their Daddies. You don’t think they’ll get in trouble, do you?”
Deke couldn't hold back his grin. “I think there’d be a lot of angry Little girls in town if they didn’t,” he said.
She stopped walking and stared at him. “What do you mean? You think they want to get in trouble? Why would they do that?”
He smiled down at her at the sheer innocence of her question. It wouldn’t occur to her to deliberately try and get into trouble. As much as he liked to tease her about being a brat, it wasn’t true.
Oh, she could drive him crazy with her actions and her attitude sometimes. But she wasn’t doing it for his reaction. She wanted to be a good person more than anyone he’d ever met. Lord knew she worried about it more than he did.
She had big emotions. His girl was all heart.
“Haven’t you ever been mischievous on purpose just to get a reaction out of someone?”
“Well, sure,” she said, wise enough to leave the duh she obviously tagged to that answer in her head. “But not to earn a spanking.”
“I believe you. But deep in your deepest heart secrets, have you ever wished you could?”
She stared at him as if he were some kind of psychic mind reader. But you didn’t have to be psychic to understand how the heart and desires of a Little worked. Littles wanted someone to prove they were worth the effort it took to correct them. They wanted the security of knowing they could let go of all their worries and let someone else hold the boundaries in place so they could be carefree.
They longed for the freedom to be happy. Be adventurous. Break rules. Let go of everything they kept bottled up inside them that weighed down their hearts and minds. And to be loved through it all.
Littles were brave as shit. They allowed themselves to be vulnerable in a way that was awe-inspiring to him. Daddies had to be brave, too. But not in the same way.
And his Little girl was the bravest of them all.His mind told his heart to stop thinking of her as his, but his heart gave his mind the finger and told it to shut the fuck up.
She started shaking her head. The longer she went, the faster her motions. When she stilled, all she said was, “I tried. It didn’t work out very well for me.”
Memories of Don Smith still haunted her. He wanted to bury that guy under an ant-infested log at the top of the mountain, where no one would find him or hear his cries for help. But that dick wasn’t important right then. He needed to focus on Suzi.
“One day, you’ll be able to act out deliberately, Rosebud. You’ll be with a Daddy who cares for you more than he cares about himself, and you’ll be able to relax and just be Little, knowing your Daddy will take care of everything you need in a way that is safe, sane, and consensual. I hate that you didn’t have that before.” The scary thing for him was, more and more each day, he wanted to be that Daddy. He couldn’t let his heart get ahead of his head. It wouldn’t work out well for either of them if he did.
When her lip trembled, he couldn’t take it anymore. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her into his embrace.
She stiffened. It was the first time he’d done more than hold her hand. After only a moment, she relaxed in his arms.
“Baby, I promise you, that man was not a Daddy. He was an abusive asshole on a never-ending power trip. That is on him, not you.”
“My brain knows that, but my Little is scared.”
Finally. It was the first time he could recall her speaking about her Little as if she were real.
“I understand why she’s scared. Both of you had a very frightening experience. But she doesn’t have to stay afraid. I’d love to help her be brave. I’ve seen glimpses of her, and I think she’s precious. I think each and every part of you is precious.”
“I was feeling better about a lot of things.” She said it as if she were confessing something bad. “But when Breezy told us what Gage did… I don’t understand how he could do that to her. They’d been together the whole way through school. How could he just see something he didn’t like and leave without giving her the chance to explain? That’s why I’m not naughty on purpose. I’m too afraid of what it might cost me.”
Yeah. Deke kicked himself again for hurting her the way he had. When Breezy’s story came out, it fired up all the memories of that day and every stupid thing he’d said to her.
He understood it, but it was time to put it in the past. He just hoped she could. She was right. It would be a step of faith, and life had taught her trusting people, even those closest to her, could be painful.
“Is that why you said you don’t like Gage anymore?” he asked.
She nodded with her head pressed against his chest. “That wasn’t okay. He couldn’t have done that if he really loved her.”
If only life were that simple.
“There are two sides to every story, Rosebud. I’m not trying to say what Gage did was right. But if you are willing to hear his side of things, you might have a better perspective on why he did what he did. I do know the last ten years have added to the scars he already had on his soul. And I’d be willing to bet, now that he knows the truth, he’ll do everything he can to make things right. That’s what you do when you care about someone. No one is perfect. When we realize we’ve screwed up, we do whatever it takes to make it right.”
Releasing her with reluctance, he opened his car door, but she didn’t climb in. “And that’s what you’re trying to do?” she asked. “You’re trying to make things right between us?”
“Yes, babygirl. I’d like very much for things to be right between us.”
“Does that mean you care about me?”
“That is exactly what it means. I care about you a lot.”
“Why?” she asked. She’d never sounded more lost and confused. She truly didn’t get how precious she was. His chest burned with the need to hold her. To kiss her until she understood the treasure she was.
But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.
Fuck it.
He moved closer, pinning her between him and the open door. She leaned back until she was pressed against the frame of his SUV. But she didn’t try to get in. Instead, she stared up at him, those beautiful blue eyes shining in the moonlight.
His gaze took in everything about her. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breathing sped up. That pulse at the base of her throat begged him to lick and taste. He tried to clear his head, to think, but he couldn’t think clearly for the pounding of his own heart. Was it him, or was the air hard to breathe?
The top she wore stopped just above the waist of her yoga pants, the ones that displayed the luscious curve of her hips and ass to perfection. She tugged it down to cover her exposed skin, which revealed the delicious curve of the top swell of her perfect breasts.
Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “You shouldn’t–”
He stepped closer and gripped her hips. They fit perfectly in his hands. “I shouldn’t what, Rosebud?”
The light in her eyes heated as her nipples became visible against the material of her top. His cock pulsed, and it was all he could do to hold back a groan.
“I’m going to kiss you, Suzi. One kiss.” He searched her eyes.
There was no fear there, no resistance. All he saw brewing there was a desire that almost matched his own. That didn’t make it a good idea. It wasn’t. Not even close, but he was going to kiss her anyway and pray that when she remembered it tomorrow, she didn’t hate him for it.
He ran one hand from her hip to the small of her back. The other, he drew up the curve of her waist and along the side of her breast to tangle his fingers in the silken tresses of her hair.
He lowered his lips to hers. They were soft and sweet, and they parted for him almost instantly. He didn’t hesitate. His tongue was in her mouth as if he owned it, owned her. He was demanding, as if she were already his. He should rein back, but he knew he wouldn’t.
She tasted amazing, pressing into him instead of pulling away. Thank god. She ignited for him, wrapping her arms around his waist and running her hands under his T-shirt. He was on fire.
He forgot where they were. Or that anyone could drive or walk by and see them. It wouldn’t have mattered to him if they had. He didn’t give the first fuck who saw them in that moment. He only cared about her.
Even though he didn’t want to, he finally broke the kiss. His hunger still raged and was probably evident on his face. She stood soft and panting in his arms.
And in that moment, he knew without any doubt he had made a colossal mistake. Her taste was stuck in his head now, and if he wasn’t careful, it would be stuck in his heart, too. And if she couldn’t get past what had happened months before, she could destroy him.