Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
D eke studied Suzi as she played at the kitchen table while he cleaned up after lunch. He’d been watching her all day, and one thing had become crystal clear. His rosebud had not been wrong when she’d told him she had no idea how to allow her Little out to play.
Even now, as she drew and colored a picture, she constantly monitored everything around her. She’d asked him several times if she could help, and the more he told her no, the more irritated and unhappy she grew.
“But that’s not fair to you,” she’d said. “You’re doing all the work, and I’m not doing my part.”
“You’re doing exactly what I want you to do, babygirl. I want you to play while I finish this up, and then I will join you.”
“You don’t want to do that,” she’d answered too quickly. “I’m sure you have more important things to do than play with me.”
And that damn near broke his heart. Had her mother never played with her? If he was going to help her connect with her Little, he needed to find out more than what Vivi had been able to share.
When Suzi’s phone dinged for the twentieth time in the past thirty minutes, Deke had had enough. There was no way for her to sink into her Little headspace when her adult world kept demanding her attention.
As he finished with the kitchen, he came up with a plan.
“Okay, little one. You have been so patient, waiting on Daddy to finish the dishes, you deserve a reward.”
The confusion that slipped across her face only made him more determined.
“Daddy is putting a few more rules in place.”
Her shoulders slumped. “More rules?”
“Yep. These may be harder to follow at first, but I want you to promise you’ll give it a try.”
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, but her enthusiasm was less than stellar.
That was fine. If everything worked the way he hoped, she would be more than thrilled soon.
“These aren’t hard rules, although they may take some getting used to. I want Little Suzi to enjoy our stay as much as Big girl Suzi. But Big girl Suzi is so strong Little Suzi has a hard time coming out to play. So, here’s what we are going to do. I’m going to call Carly and tell her if there is anything urgent she needs to tell you, she needs to text or call me. We are going to put your phone away so you can relax.”
When Suzi opened her mouth to argue, he held up a hand.
“I promise if she really needs you, I will tell you. And you can have your phone to call her and check in two afternoons each week. Other than that, I want you to unplug so you can focus on getting to know Little Suzi.”
Deke placed a calming palm on Suzi’s cheek and gently tugged her bottom lip from the vice her teeth had around it.
“But what if something happens? What if someone needs me?”
“If someone needs you, I will tell you. You’ll have to trust me, Rosebud. You can do that for Daddy, right?”
She searched his eyes for what he didn’t know. But she must have found what she was looking for. She nodded slowly. “Yes, Daddy.”
“That’s my good girl,” he said. He understood what he was asking, and he was proud of her for being willing to at least try to step away from her adult responsibilities for a short time. “Think of it as learning a new language through immersion. Now, tell me some of the things you remember enjoying as a child. What did you do for fun?”
If her expression was anything to go by, his question confused her. It took her a while to answer him, and when she did, he made another vow to have serious words with Terri Daily.
“I… um, I read books a lot.”
Not exactly what he was going for, but it was a start. “What kind of books did you like to read? Did you like Dr. Suess? Or Curious George?”
Her confusion had returned.
“I didn’t read anything like that. My mom thought they were silly.” Her face lit up when she added, “But she bought me a used set of encyclopedias when I was six, and I used to try to read through one book a week. I learned a lot of really cool facts about all sorts of things.”
Deke wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He’d enjoyed reading nonfiction as a child as well, but he had wonderful memories of the bedtime stories his mother read to him that filled his dreams with wonderful adventures.
“Okay, what kind of toys did you play with? Is there something you’d like me to get that you remember loving when you were growing up?”
Suzi bounced her foot and was back to nibbling on her bottom lip. Yeah, he was having a long, unpleasant conversation with Terri Daily.
“Well, I made up stories a lot. Does that count?”
Not really, but he’d take it. “Of course, Rosebud. What kind of stories?”
She blushed and stared at her tightly clutched fingers. “They were silly. I’d hear kids at school talking about their favorite television programs and I’d make up stories to act out in my head.”
“Did you ever have friends over to act them out together?”
That earned him a frown and a quick shake of his Little girl’s head. “No, not usually. We lived in a tiny apartment, and I wasn’t very good at being quiet when I had company.”
Suddenly, her eyes lit with joy. It robbed him of breath. She was so beautiful.
“I did get to go to my friends’ birthday parties sometimes. They were a lot of fun. But I could see from all the noise and chaos why my mom didn’t want things like that happening at our apartment.”
“Noise and chaos are part of being a child, Rosebud. It’s how you learn and grow.”
Her back stiffened. “My mom did the best she could,” she insisted.
She didn’t.
Suzi wasn’t done. “You may not realize this, but I wasn’t an easy child. I was constantly asking for things and making messes. Once, I tried to make my mom a birthday cake, and I wound up getting frosting all over the counters and the table. It took her hours to get it cleaned up. Some birthday present that turned out to be! From then on, she made sure to have one delivered the day before her birthday so I wouldn’t get any crazy ideas again.”
Deke tried to stop grinding his teeth.
“How old were you then?” He shouldn’t have asked. The answer was just going to piss him off.
“I was seven. Way old enough to know better.” Suzi shook her head. “See? It wasn’t easy.”
“Yeah, you were a regular Dennis the Menace,” he said. “That was a joke, by the way.” He wasn’t going to allow himself to give rein to the fury that boiled inside his chest. It would serve no purpose. Instead, he said, “So, what other toys did you like? Did you have many dolls?”
“No, Mom thought playing with dolls fostered the patriarchal structure of society by teaching girls they should stay barefoot and pregnant.”
Yeah, Deke just bet she did. “Ok, what about blocks or Legos?”
She scrunched her brows. “Our apartment was very small. Toys create clutter, and clutter clouds the mind. But I had Kiki.”
The mention of her one and only stuffy brightened her entire face. “Tell me about Kiki. Where did you get her?”
“From my BonBon.”
“BonBon? Like the candy?”
She giggled. “No, silly Daddy. BonBon was my grandmother on my mother’s side. She was amazing. She always had time to stop whatever she was doing and talk with me and draw. She was an artist. And she crocheted the most amazing things. She’s the one who taught me. She made Kiki just for me. I loved her so much.”
A shadow fell over her face.
“What?” Deke asked. “What makes you sad about your BonBon?”
“When I started school, she had to go away. Mom said she had dementia, and that was why she played with me like she did. I thought she did it because she loved me. Anyway, Mom got power of attorney over BonBon and placed her in a facility where they could look after her. I never got to go see her, but Mom told me how she was doing. I missed her so much.”
If Deke clenched his jaw any tighter, it would break. But the alternative was to actually say all the things he was thinking about Suzi’s mother. He’d be putting in a call to Sawyer as soon as Suzi went down for a nap. He wanted to know exactly what actually happened to Suzi’s BonBon.
He’d been approaching the problem of Suzi finding her Little headspace all wrong. Most Little’s tried to recreate some version of their childhood from the memories they held dear. They had memories of what they liked and disliked as a frame of reference.
Suzi had none of that. Suzi couldn’t get to her Little because she had never been little at all. She’d been an adult almost from birth.
“Okay, enough talking for now,” he announced. How would you like to get your swimsuit on and play in the river while Daddy checks the fish traps?”
Suzi squealed. “That would be awesome!”
“All right then. Let’s get you changed. Before we go, we are going to put all your electronics in my office. You can check them twice each week, and I’ll make sure Carly knows to call me if something happens that has to have your attention at the paper.”
He couldn’t say her response to that was as excited as going swimming, but she was willing to give it a try.
His brave girl.
It didn’t take long for him to have her in her swimsuit. She was adorable. The top was a light purple tank top with ruffles for straps. There was a unicorn with a silver glitter horn on her tummy. The bottoms had a wide ruffle as well. He pulled her long hair up into puppy dog ears of a sort, and Suzi wrapped them up to make what she called space buns.
Yep. Adorable.
Once she had on sunscreen and water shoes, they dropped off her electronics and headed for the river. It was the perfect place for her to play. He’d gotten some pink water toys so they could play together after he checked his traps.
“Daddy is not going far. See the bend in the river down there? That’s where I’ll be. You can stand in the water to your ankles, but that’s all. I’ll be right back. The middle of the river is deep, and because of the recent rain, the current is up. So stay close to the bank.”
Everything went according to plan. Suzi had not forgotten her spanking from their first day at the cabin and was still on her best behavior. When he finished with his traps, he headed back to join her.
When he reached her, her lips were blue. She shook like a leaf in a storm, but her eyes were bright, and she sported a grin. Unable to resist, he lifted her from the water and kissed her silly.
“I think it’s time for you to get out and warm up,” he said.
“N-n-nooo. I want to play.”
“We can get back in once you stop shivering.”
“But I’m not c-c-cold,” she protested as he lifted her from the water. Once he had her wrapped in a thick, fluffy towel, she admitted, “Maybe the water was a bit chilly.”
“Mountain rivers usually are,” he said.
They played off and on for about an hour. His Little girl was unsure at first but quickly got the hang of it. She squealed and laughed. When he brushed his thumb across her nipple, the heat flaring in her eyes was intense, in spite of the temperature of the water.
Time to take this party back to the shore.
He’d already spread the thick blanket he’d brought out on the grass and the edge of the tree line. Lowering her to the ground, he said, “This wet swimsuit is probably making you colder. Let take it off and let it dry in the sun.”
She smiled, and despite the cold water, his dick grew rock hard. His hand trembled as he reached for her top, and not from the cold. He leaned in and caught her the scent of sugar and river water and breathed it in.
Relieving her of the top, he feasted on the site of her. Her breasts were the perfect fit for his palm, high and firm, and nothing but woman. Her waist tucked in, her stomach smooth and soft, before her hips flared back out. He peeled off her bottoms and pressed a kiss on the slight Buddha belly that she hated, but he adored.
He swept aside the damp hair clinging to her face and ran his fingers along her jaw. She shivered, and her nipples pebbled ever harder. He leaned closer and ran his lips along the same path his fingers had traced. He was in no hurry. He wanted to take his time and enjoy every moment.
Nothing could have stopped the words he said next. Not that he wanted to. He wanted her to know. Needed her to know what was going on in his head. In his heart.
“I love you.”
Her eyes met his as her lips rounded, making his cock pulse. “You love me?”
He nodded. “I do, Rosebud. I have for a long time. You were made for me, and I will be by your side for as long as you’ll have me.”
She stared at him as if he had said something she couldn’t comprehend. “You love me? Why?”
Why? That was easy. “I love how you care for everyone you meet. I love how you attack everything you do with passion and determination. I love how you take on any and every cause you believe in. I love your innocence. The way you make me feel. The way you walk. The way you look when you sleep.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “In short, Rosebud. Everything.”
She gazed up at him, reaching to cup his cheeks with her soft hands. She ran them down to his chest, her eyes following the path they took. Skating her thumbs over his nipples, she smiled when he moaned out, “And the way you touch me. God, I love the way you touch me.”
“I’ve wanted to be right here for years, you know. With you. With you on top of me,” embarrassment flooded her cheeks with a peachy glow. “I love touching you, feeling the warmth of your skin.” She traced the dragon tattoo covering his left upper chest before returning her gaze to him. “I didn’t believe it would ever be real, but I’m so very glad it is.”
“It’s definitely real, Rosebud. And it’s going to stay that way. You won’t be getting rid of me.” He skimmed her cheekbone before twining his fingers through her hair and lowering his mouth to hers. “I fought it as long as I could. I told myself I was too old, too harsh. But you were made for me, and now, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”
She smacked his chest lightly. “If I can’t say bad things about myself, neither can you. You are the most wonderful part of my life. I can’t imagine living without you now. You’re my everything.”
At her words, he decided the time for talking was over. He lowered his mouth to hers.
An unbroken current of desire wound its way through him as she made her way even deeper into his heart. She was his. No matter what came at them in the future, they would face it together, and he would protect her with his life.
He deepened the kiss. Taking his time, he swept his tongue inside her mouth when she opened for him. They had no need to rush. They had all the time in the world.
She slid her arms around his neck, lifting herself to press against him. Her taut nipples teased his desire higher. He returned the favor, grinding his cock against her pussy. The whimper that escaped her as she matched his movements almost had him coming in his swim trunks like a teenager.
He caressed every inch of her, running his hands down her ribs, flattening his palm on the abdomen. Slowly moving lower until the tip of his finger rested just above her pussy.
She lifted her hips, trying to get the touch she craved, but he smacked her hip. “Daddy’s in charge, greedy girl,” he rasped out. “You take what I give you.”
“But Daddy,” she protested, a heat older than time burned in her eyes.
Because he couldn’t resist, he tapped his finger lightly on her swollen clit. The gasp that earned him turned him almost primal. He wasn’t going to last much longer.
“I need you, Daddy,” she said.
“What do you need, babygirl?”
“You, Daddy. I need you. Inside me. Please.”
Damn but hearing her beg was going to be the death of him.
And he, evidently, wasn’t moving fast enough. He couldn’t hold back a smile when she mewed her discontent and nipped his chin. His mistake was pulling back to look at her. The pout on her face pushed him over the edge. She wasn’t the only one who needed this.
Pushing her to her back, her slid down her body, his mouth leaving a trail of soft kisses until his lips found her mound. Still, a little punishment was in order. After all, he was the one in charge.
He played, using his tongue to plunder and explore. She writhed as he took his time, teasing and tasting every inch of her pussy. She moaned and arched against him, seeking relief. He chuckled, and if her movements were any indication, the vibrations stoked her need even higher.
She wasn’t the only one he was punishing. His cock throbbed with the need to be buried inside her. He kissed his way back up her body until he was positioned on top of her, his hips pressed to hers, his cock pressed to the slick, hot entrance to her core.
He took her mouth again, memorizing everything about her. When he moved to lick the pulse point of her neck, he heard the words he’d longed for.
“I love you, Deacon Winters, with everything I am.”
Her words settled something deep within him. She deserved better, but she’d chosen him. He’d live every day for the rest of his life, keeping her satisfied with that choice.
He clenched the cheeks of her ass and buried himself inside her in one powerful motion.
“Oh, God, yes!” she cried out and wrapped her legs around him, giving him deeper access.
She was so damn tight. Her wet heat was almost his undoing. Entwining his fingers with hers, he slid out of her and back inside. He tried to go slow and speed up gradually, but damn it was hard. Torture.
“Please, Daddy. Faster. Harder,” she cried out.
He picked up the pace, thrusting deeper and harder.
“Oh, yes, Daddy. Yes!”
Her lids fluttered closed, and fuck if that wasn’t sexy as hell. Her breathing grew ragged. A deep rose flush spread upward from her breasts. He held on by a thread, watching. He wanted to see her fall over the edge into her release.
Lowering his hips slightly, he changed his position just enough to hit that magical spot inside her.
“Daddy!” she sobbed out his name. Then her cries of release filled his senses. The slick walls of her channel clutched him even tighter, pushing him past the ability to think. Shouting out his own release, he followed her to heaven on earth.
As they came down together, he lowered himself to cover her, being sure to prop himself on his elbows so his weight wouldn’t crush her.
Her face smoothed, and she wore a satisfied smile. He kissed her gently. “I will love you forever, Rosebud,” he promised.
Her smile grew, and she opened her eyes. The love that shone from them would have sent him to his knees if he’d been able to stand at all.
“Forever, Daddy. I promise.”