Chapter 1
one
Three Years Later
Iswipe on the last bit of makeup before I look at myself in the mirror. The black circles never seem to disappear these days, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I will keep worrying no matter what I do. I can’t not.
Leaving my room, I hear my father talking.
My heart sinks in my chest. Dementia is a scary thing.
Oftentimes I find my father speaking to long-passed relatives.
From today’s conversation, I think he is talking to my grandfather, who died when I was very young.
I don’t even remember the man, yet my father speaks as if he is in the room with him.
It breaks my heart. Two years ago, he went in for a checkup because his brain was foggy. He was forgetting more and more things, to the point I was concerned. I begged him to go get checked out, so he did.
There was nothing they could do for him.
Not for his mind, at least. They switched his medication that he took for heart disease and warned us of the side effects that could happen from the other medications they put him on, but that was it.
He is only in his fifties, but his mind has already decided to betray him.
He is losing memories every day. Some days, he looks at me and thinks I am my aunt. Other days, he doesn’t know me at all.
When we found out, we knew we would need to take care of him the best we could.
We can’t afford round-the-clock nursing care, so I planned to leave school and take on the responsibility.
My brother had other plans. He quit his job and moved out here.
We rented a house together and brought Dad here.
Together, we make up his care team. I take care of him throughout the night while my brother, Will, takes care of him during the day.
“Good morning, Daddy. How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“Agatha? Is that you?” Dad asks me, making tears prickle my eyes.
God, will this ever get easier?
“Yes. It’s me,” I tell him as I try to fight back any emotion.
“See, Father. I told you Agatha was a good girl. Father was worried you ran off with that Rich again,” Dad says, referring to my aunt’s teenage boyfriend.
I have heard the story many times over the last two years. How my aunt was a harlot back in the day. Nowadays she would be considered a normal woman, but when she was growing up, promiscuity was a sin.
“No. I’m a good girl. Do you need anything?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “You go to bed now.”
“Okay. Love you,” I tell him, leaving off the “daddy.”
He likely thinks I was talking to my grandfather when I said it before.
“Love you too,” he tells me before turning back to his conversation.
I leave the living room and head into the kitchen. I take several deep breaths, willing the tears not to fall.
The front door opens, letting me know my brother is home.
“Hey, sorry I’m late. Boss wanted to talk to me after work. I’m getting a raise.” Will smiles at me.
“That is great. I’m happy for you.”
He hears Dad talking, his smile dimming. “How is he today?”
I sigh. “Well, I am Agatha, so there’s that. He has been talking to Grandpa for the past hour.”
“I’ll be Harold with pride then,” he says, referring to our uncle.
I know it hurts him as much as me to see the man we both love losing his mind slowly, but at least he is at home with family.
We had the option to put him in a state-run facility, but he wouldn’t have wanted that.
He wanted to be home with his family. This might not have been the home he had been hoping for, but it’s the one with both of his loving children.
I clear my throat. “I should go. I have the pep rally to get to.”
He nods. “Go enjoy life a little. I’ve got Dad.”
I walk over and hug him. He squeezes me back.
I’m so glad he decided to come. I hate that he had to give up his life for this, but I am glad I am not going through it alone. I fight the urge to thank him for the millionth time but bite my tongue.
Letting him go, I head toward the door. When I get there, I call out, “I love you, bro.”
I hear him say, “I love you, sis,” before I shut the door.
I start the walk from the house to school, leaving the car for Will. He will be mad about it, but we are so close to campus that it is a waste for me to take it when I can walk.
My phone rings by the time I reach the end of the block.
“Hey, Kyle. I’m on my way. I had to wait for Will to get home,” I tell him, picking up my pace.
“Seriously? You know today is important for me. It’s the first pep rally of the season. My girlfriend should be here supporting me,” he snaps.
I suck in a breath. I hate that I am letting him down, but my father can’t be left alone, and Will needs that job.
“I know, and I will be. I am going to be a couple minutes late, is all. I promise. I’m on my way,” I tell him calmly, which only seems to piss him off more.
He scoffs. “I swear you have become less of a girlfriend over the last year. It’s never about us or our relationship.
I know you have stuff going on, but you need to prioritize us too.
We are in college. We should be enjoying ourselves, but you never even want to come out anymore. I didn’t sign up for this.”
Anger burns in my gut at his words. As if I planned to have my father be ill. Like I wanted all of this to happen.
“That’s not fair, Kyle. I do the best I can, but the evenings are when I need to be with my father, so no, I can’t go to parties. I will be there for you, though. Ten minutes. I am walking now.”
It’s silent on the other end of the phone for several moments before he finally speaks.
“Don’t bother. I don’t need you here,” he says and hangs up.
Did he…I look at the phone, shocked. Did he really hang up on me? Seriously, after three years this is how he treats me? Don’t get me wrong, I knew we haven’t been perfect lately, that I haven’t been perfect, but come on. Three. Years.
The first two were amazing. Even when my father got his diagnosis, Kyle was by my side. He let me cry on his shoulder.
Now, he is acting like a prick. He isn’t the man I met freshman year anymore. It’s like the years of getting his ego inflated changed who he is.
The sad part is that I once would have said I loved him, but I am not even sure I do anymore. I feel like my whole life is just going through the motions these days.
I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
Part of me considers listening to him. Turning around and going back home. I would love nothing more than to go home and fall face first into my bed. I promised him I would be there, though.
Reluctantly, I pick up the pace and jog toward the stadium.
I might not know how I feel about Kyle anymore, but I still don’t want to let him down. He is still my boyfriend, and I am going to show up for him.
I don’t want to go. I really shouldn’t go. It’s a boneheaded move to show up. It’s not like she will even know I’m there.
Still, I change my shirt into a Walker Wolves hockey T-shirt before I head out of my room and down the hall.
When I enter the living room, I am relieved that Kellan is the only one there.
“What are you doing right now?” I ask him.
He turns and looks at me. “Watching the Halloween Baking Championship?”
He poses it as a question.
“Will you go somewhere with me, no questions asked?” I ask him.
Kellan is the best person for this. I would have taken Brett if he hadn’t graduated and been doing the whole “dad” thing. He has the most adorable daughter ever. I love Alissa to death. Still, Brett is invasive. He would have asked a million questions.
Calvin was an option, but he is focused on becoming captain when Kellan leaves next year. He will only have a year left, but he wants the feather in his cap, and I think he’s going to get it. Kid has made strides since he joined the team. I’m not surprised he’s not home right now.
Then there is Pender. He is our newest freshman. He took Brett’s old room. I don’t know him enough to trust him to mind his business.
So Kellan is my only option.
“Is this like that movie The Town? Are we going to hurt people? Because I mean, I got your back always, but I don’t want to go to jail.”
I laugh. “No. I want to go to the pep rally, and no, I will not be answering questions on why.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you just say that? Let me get my shoes.”
Within minutes, we are out the door, walking toward the football stadium.
“So I can’t ask why we are going, which is fine, but can we get food afterward? I am starving, and Cora is working all day today.”
Cora is his girlfriend. I always knew they were going to get their issues straight at some point.
It didn’t help that Kellan used to be in love with our former captain and one of my best friends’ girlfriends at one point.
Clayton and Grace met during Grace’s freshman year.
She was close with Kellan and thought she might love him too, but he wanted nothing to do with her until Clayton took interest. Due to that, Clayton and Kellan didn’t get along when they met, but when he fell in love with Clayton’s sister the following year, I knew things were going to change.
Thankfully, Kellan proved that he was no longer in love with Grace and committed to Cora.
I should probably text Grace and make sure she doesn’t need anything. Peyton too, where both their men are off in a different town for hockey.
“Yes, I will feed you,” I tell him.
“Good. Is there anything I need to do at this rally? Like throw tomatoes at them or something?” he asks.
Quickly I open the texts between Grace and me and send her one.
“Where do you get your reference points? No you don’t need to throw anything at anyone. We are going to the rally. Watching it. Then going to get food. That’s it,” I tell him.
“Okay, good. Shit, there’s a lot of people here,” he says as we walk through the parking lot.
I agree. It seems the whole student body has shown up. Instead of heading in the main entrance, I walk toward one of the side ones that is closer to the locker room. The security guard nods at me as he opens the door.
We have an arrangement of sorts. He is a huge hockey fan, so he lets me slip into the stadium undetected when needed in exchange for getting him tickets to our games. It’s not a hardship for me. I never give my tickets to anyone anyway.
“Wow, he let us in without question,” Kellan murmurs.
I don’t bother to respond. We walk toward the locker rooms when I see him. Kyle is leaning over a woman in the hall. They are kissing, so I go to turn and walk the other way. I really don’t want to see Lyla making out with Kyle. I may be masochistic when it comes to her, but even I have my limits.
Something makes me look back, though. What I see makes me freeze.
“Is there a reason we are staring at Thomson making out with some girl?” Kellan whispers to me.
That snaps me out of it. I am full-on glaring at the cheating asshole.
“What’s your beef with him?” Kellan asks.
“That’s not his girlfriend he is kissing,” I growl.
Kellan looks down at me before looking back at them. “It’s not our business. Unless you know something I don’t?”
He’s right. It is none of my business. Lyla wouldn’t even believe me if I told her. Maybe if I took a picture and sent it to her, but I don’t want to see her hurt. I also don’t want to be the person to cause that hurt, even if indirectly.
Fuck, I can’t do anything about this even if I want to walk over there and punch Kyle in his douchebag face.
Where the fuck is Lyla anyway? The whole reason I came down here was to see if I could get a glimpse of her.
She is usually with the girlfriends before the pep rallies and games.
At least the ones she comes to. Could she not make it today?
Is that why this cocksucker is locking lips with another woman?
“We should go find our seats,” Kellan whispers to me.
I breathe in deeply, my fists clenched. Then I let it out, trying to relax.
“Yeah, we should. If we don’t, I might do something I regret.”
“Man, I told you. I’m not hurting anyone,” Kellan jokes, jostling my shoulder as he turns to head the way we came.
“I didn’t ask you to. You might have to bail me out, though.” I joke along with him, walking at his side.
“Nah, I’m not all money like you. Bail yourself out.”
As we walk away, I don’t forget about what I saw. I know I need to do something, I just don’t know what it is.
Thankfully, I have a whole rally to figure it out. One where I plan to stare daggers into the fucker’s back until he can feel my ire from across the crowd of people.
Kyle Thomson is marked. I will make him pay for what he is doing to Lyla one way or another.