Chapter 15
I head over to Daisy’s bakery, walking there after Kai dropped me off.
I love how close everything is to my little house: a coffee shop, the bakery, the surf shop, cute little cafés and bars, and a quaint convenience store.
It’s perfect—almost like a little piece of New York here in a tropical paradise.
One of the things I loved about living in the city was the proximity to everything. I could just walk out the door of my building and find everything I needed.
Although I will admit, this is better—better in all the ways I’d never be able to experience in New York. And its distance from Sean makes it worth the long trip here.
I take in the beautiful view as I walk along the quiet street, the ocean waves lapping at the shore. The sound is so peaceful. It’s hard to believe anyone ever moves away from here.
When I walk in, it’s busy—a line has formed about seven people deep, and it makes me smile.
Daisy catches my eye, waving me around the line. She lifts a little hinged piece of counter, letting me behind to come in.
“Hey, how are you? Heard you did some surfing with Kai this morning,” she says, casually chatting with me while simultaneously serving customers.
“Yeah, I’m getting better, and it’s really fun.”
“I know, right? I love surfing. So jealous that Alana gets to do it every day as a job,” Daisy teases, smiling sweetly. “So, take whatever you want.” She motions to the cases, stocked and ready for the morning rush.
She’s way too generous, and there’s not a chance I’m leaving without paying her. I get what it’s like to have a job that people love, and it’s hard to say no to friends.
The number of friends I had in New York who used to ask me to give free massages or donate a gift to an auction or whatever was sometimes too much.
It was also hard because they knew I was married to Sean, assuming I didn’t need the money from my job—or my hobby, as I now assume all these so-called friends thought my job was. Just like Sean did.
Washing my hands first, I slip on a pair of gloves. Using a paper, I grab a mango coconut scone and the flavor of the week cupcake, lychee vanilla. Boxing them both up, I toss the gloves in the garbage.
Washing my hands again, I then reach for a cup, filling it with coffee, just as I catch Daisy watching me.
She lets out a laugh as she packages up the customer’s order. “Wanna job? Worked in food service before, huh?”
“I can stay and help until the crowd dies down,” I offer, and without words, I seamlessly slip into helping her.
About twenty minutes pass and the crowd dies down, leaving us both a little tired and me hungry, since that’s what I initially came in for.
I grab my scone, leaning back against the counter, I take a bite.
Moaning out loud at how good and fresh it is.
There is something different about the fruit here.
It’s fresher and sweeter, and it pretty much grows everywhere on this island.
I have several fruit trees on the property I’m renting, and I rarely have to buy anything at the store.
“Careful with that moan,” Daisy jokes, jabbing me in the side with a soft elbow. “You’ll have Kai desperate to get you in the sack.”
“I think he’s already desperate to get me the sack,” I reply, laughing. “Sometimes I think he only invites me to go surfing so he can see me in a bathing suit.”
“Nah, he never invites girls to surf with him unless it’s me or Alana or Sloane, and even then, the guys are usually with us. Although, there’s probably some truth to the bikini thing too.”
I take in what she’s just shared, curious if he’s playing a long game here.
Inviting me to surf, listening to me bitch about the shitty situation with Sean, helping me at the house, introducing me to his friends.
All of it feels too involved for him to be just interested in getting laid.
And if the way they all talk about Kai is any indication, he’s not hurting in the department of finding women to sleep with.
“Any plans tonight?” she asks me as I’m dropping some cash on the counter to cover what I’ve eaten. But Daisy shakes her head, pushing it back toward me. “Not today. You just helped me clear my morning crowd. It’s on me.”
“Next time, I’m tipping really big then,” I hit back, and she only laughs.
“Back to tonight. You busy? We’re doing a girls’ night at Sloane’s. We make pizzas, gossip and bitch, watch some cheesy romcoms. Why don’t I swing by and pick you up? You can join us.”
“I’d love to,” I respond, honestly loving all the friendships I’m building here. It feels more like home than New York ever did. “I have orientation at Orchid Bay today, but after that, I’m free.”
“Oh yeah, Orchid Bay. You’ll get to see Sloane and the guys,” Daisy says, winking when she says “guys,” obviously teasing me about Kai. “So much for you working here, but you’re going to love Orchid Bay. The Sinclairs are awesome people. So easy to work for, is what Miles and Kai say.”
“Kai’s the reason I got a job there in the first place, marching me over there and introducing me to the owners. He’s just so damn assertive, but it all worked out.”
Daisy chuckles at my words, nodding in agreement, and Kai really is assertive, but in a way that makes him endearing and sweet.
I’ve never met someone like him, and I’m finding it easy to get close to him, easy to wrap myself in his calmness.
He calms me, despite the chaos I’m currently dealing with.
“Pick you up at seven?” she asks, my thoughts strangely consumed with Kai. I can picture him, hear his voice, feel his presence, his smell and the way he talks, and I want more.
But it all feels way too soon.
Like I’m jumping in without ever healing.
Or maybe this is what healing looks like.
“Sounds great.”
Orientation at Orchid Bay goes quickly, and while I’ve never worked at a day spa like this one, a luxury resort, the job is still the same.
I just won’t have the regular clients like I did in New York, and I’m totally okay with that.
Making the change to move here was huge, and now I’m trying something new in my career too.
Dealing with the glamorous clientele of a high-end hotel, massages that last two-plus hours and come with a much larger price tag, and hopefully larger tips too.
I peek out the window, seeing Daisy’s old Jeep pull up. She beeps, and I grab the two bottles of wine I picked up—a bottle of red and a bottle of white—not sure what everyone drinks, but not wanting to show up empty-handed either.
“Hey, hey!” Daisy says when I hop in. “How’d orientation go?”
“Good. Not too busy, and I start tomorrow. First day of massages. I guess I already have a full day lined up, so that feels good. I was worried I was hired just because Kai bullied them into it.”
“I mean, he might have,” Daisy jokes.
“I need to get a car soon too,” I say, making small talk as we drive. “I took an Uber there today, but that’s not a permanent option.”
“New or used?” Daisy asks.
“Definitely used,” I reply, but I catch myself, my mind instantly flashing to the offer of eleven million dollars.
Every one of these people would probably take the money.
Daisy has just opened her bakery and is working her ass off to make it a success.
And while Miles toured with Sean, his band’s album a huge hit, he hasn’t made an album since.
I know how residuals work, and he’s bringing those in, but it would take years to get to eleven million.
Nate and Sage own a thriving surf shop, and she’s about to start a job teaching high school here on the island. Again, doing great, but not millionaires.
The rest of them, the same. All making enough money to support themselves, and they’re happy. No one seems to care about money, content to enjoy all the island has to offer and to surf every day.
Guilt churns in my stomach, my chest tightening at the idea of admitting this to any of them. Not that I think there will be judgment, but there will be the question of how I could possibly turn it down.
It’s the kind of money I could live off forever, and Sean knows that, dangling it in front of me, but with a price that far exceeds the offer.
I swallow hard, pushing away the feeling, overwhelmed by a decision that just yesterday was so easy to make. Now I’m second-guessing it.
But I don’t want to lose my voice. The media will find me soon enough, asking questions about our break-up, curious as to why.
Tabloids will run stories, the internet will follow, the public will eat it up.
Rumors will swirl, and things will be said about me, my family, my friends, and the friends I’ve made here, even if they are just innocent in all this.
“You okay?” Daisy questions, realizing I’ve gone silent.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m good.” I take a deep breath, letting it out, trying to rid my mind of what eleven million dollars could look and feel like. “I hate car shopping. I just feel like I’m always getting scammed, especially buying a used car.”
It all comes out in a rush, sounding slightly rehearsed but helping me forget that I don’t need anyone. I don’t need Sean’s money.
And I need to keep telling myself that when the fear and the guilt creep in.
“Flynn works on cars. Knows a ton about them. I’m sure he’d be willing to go with you and check them out,” Daisy tells me.
“Really?”
“Yeah, ask Alana when we get there. She’ll tell Flynn.”
“Sounds good.”
Girls’ night is off to a great start. We’ve made pizzas, had some wine—actually several bottles—so we’re all feeling pretty good when Alana suggests we watch American Gigolo just for the penis scene, and we all start laughing.
Sloane comes around, filling our glasses once more, and I need to tell myself to slow down. I have to work tomorrow, my first day, and I should not be hungover for it.
“Okay,” Daisy barks out, letting out a loud giggle along with it. “Let’s set the record straight. How big is Owen’s dick, like for real, Sloane?”
All of us turn to look at her, Sloane’s cheeks flushing bright red. Sage giggles, covering her mouth with her hand as Alana lets out a gasp of shock.
“Daisy, what the fuck?” Alana says, swatting at her. “Why do you want to know? Not getting it from Miles?”
“Hang on,” Sloane jumps in. “This needs a little background for those of you who missed it. Back when I first moved in with Owen, I had, um…I had a sexy dream about him, and I told Daisy, who then informed me that Owen has a twelve-inch dick.”
“Whoa!” Alana shouts, her eyes wide. “This conversation took a turn that I didn’t see coming, and now I’ve got to know too.”
“Sloane, you don’t have to answer that. That’s between you and Owen,” Sage says sweetly, totally defending Sloane, and I love the way these girls just support each other. No jealousy, no competition. Just friends no matter what.
“No, it’s fine. It’s probably the biggest I’ve ever been with,” Sloane admits, the flush creeping down her neck and onto her chest. “It’s like, I don’t know, maybe seven inches.”
“Seven inches!” Alana squeals. “Do you know how big seven inches is?”
Holding out her hands now, mimicking seven inches, the group laughs hysterically. Tears stream down our faces. Sage has her face buried in a pillow.
Daisy jumps up from the couch, returning a few seconds later with a tape measure. Plopping down on the couch, she stretches the tape measure to seven inches, placing it on her lower stomach.
“Okay, so like four inches is out and three inches in?” she asks, and this only adds to the hysteria.
“I don’t know!” Sloane wails, hardly able to get the words out through her embarrassment and laughter. “I don’t know how long the inside of my vagina is.”
“Hey, Alexa, how long is the inside of a vagina?” Alana calls out, and not one of us can hear her answer over our laughter.
“Honestly, Sloane, seven inches is really long,” Sage adds. “Is it…uncomfortable?”
“No, never! It’s fucking amazing. He’s the first guy I’ve ever had an orgasm with. His dick is magical.”
I catch what she says immediately, the part about never having an orgasm with a guy except Owen. I fall silent, the room chatting, laughing and carrying on with the conversation.
“So, wait,” I interrupt, holding up a hand, and they all look over at me. “You’ve never had an orgasm with a guy till Owen?”
“Nope,” Sloane replies.
“My first one was with Miles, but never with Isaac. It was too much fucking work for him. Plus, fucking him was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.” She holds up her pinky finger, and the room erupts with laughter again.
“You?” I ask Sage, and she shrugs.
“So like a couple of times in high school, but that was like forty-five minutes of oral, and he bitched that his jaw hurt and he was tired. But with Nate, it pretty much happens all the time.”
Without asking Alana, she begins, “I’ve had a few before, but fuck me, Flynn is ridiculously good at oral sex. I come every damn time.”
“And you’ve got to rub things down there to get it going,” Daisy adds in. “Like, fuck me, but don’t forget to strum that thing like a guitar to get me to sing.”
Her analogy has us laughing again, but this whole conversation is incredibly eye-opening. I’ve never once come from any kind of sex or dry humping or anything. I just fake it so it’s over quicker and grab a vibrator and take care of myself.
“Have any of you ever faked it?” I ask hesitantly, biting the inside of my cheek while I wait for an answer. That’s all I ever did with Sean. Over-the-top, porn star-style orgasms, but I was bored out of my mind, waiting for him to finish.
“Fuck yes!” the answer comes from Alana, who has the rest of the girls nodding in agreement. “But never with Flynn. He makes sure it happens.” She winks as she grabs her phone, her fingers moving quickly as she types out a message, and I can only imagine what she’s texting him right now.
“Same,” Daisy says. “When you find the right person…” She trails off, her eyes widening. “Oh, fuck, you’ve never, huh?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, I know someone who would love to help you out with that,” Daisy says, smirking at me.
And so do I.