Chapter 18
“Like seriously sure, though?” I ask and swear I sound like a fucking idiot.
No chick has ever gotten me this tangled up—my tongue, my feelings, my stupid fucking heart. I don’t know what’s going on, but I know I can’t stop thinking about this woman sitting across from me.
I also know I lied when I told Eli he hadn’t lost his wingman last night.
Because he had.
Has.
Has lost his wingman.
I have zero interest in sleeping with another woman right now. I haven’t since I met Quinn, and it’s taken me until today to realize what that fully means. I don’t give sex up for anyone, yet I’ve given it up for her, a woman I haven’t even kissed, let alone slept with.
So yeah, I actually want to try this thing that all my friends seem to think is the greatest thing ever.
Dating. A relationship, even.
Fuck me.
Quinn laughs, bringing me back to the table. “Yeah, I’m sure,” she says with a nod, still holding my hand. “But can we set some ground rules?”
She blushes a little as she asks this, and it’s all sorts of nervous and adorable, making me feel a whole lot better that I’m not the only one who’s freaked out by all of it.
“Okay,” I say, drawing out the word. “What were you thinking?”
Quinn takes a sip of wine, her eyes darting to the horizon and the slowly sinking sun. I can see a million different thoughts running through her head, most of which I’m sure all trace back to that asshole she was married to.
“Quinn,” I prompt, squeezing her hand. “Talk to me.”
She blows out a breath as she lowers her wine glass to the table. “So, if we agree to date,” she starts, clearly nervous. “What exactly would that look like?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. I’m pretty sure I know exactly what she means, but I still want to hear her say it. “What do you want it to look like?”
She swallows, pulling her hand from mine as she says, “Are we like...are we dating just each other? Or will you be...seeing other people?”
The laugh bursts out of me before I can stop it, and I don’t miss the way Quinn flinches in response. I know it’s because of the way she said ‘seeing’ when what she really meant was ‘fucking’.
Grabbing my chair, I move around the table so I’m sitting beside her, taking her hand in both of mine.
“Quinn, I promised you I’d always be honest with you, right?
” I pause, waiting until she nods. “Okay, so this is me being honest.” I pause, taking a deep breath before I continue.
Before I come clean on shit I’ve never said out loud to anyone.
“I have never done this before. Never dated a woman, never had a real relationship. I sleep around, and I get how that looks, but I can promise you that’s not what this is. ”
I stop, shoving a hand through my hair as I try to work out how to say this without scaring her off.
It’s not that I’m afraid of being honest. If anything, I’m too honest, always have been, always telling someone what I’m thinking and feeling.
It’s gotten me into trouble in the past, but it’s also saved me a lot of drama, too.
“I want to date you,” I tell her. “Only you. I’m not going to see other women, and I’m sure as shit not going to be sleeping around, okay?”
She swallows hard, licking her lips as she whispers, “Really?”
Chuckling, I lift her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “You know I haven’t hooked up with anyone since I met you, don’t you?” I ask, smiling when she shakes her head. “And you should know I totally got a booty call during that time and turned it down, too.”
“You did?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“Yep,” I confirm with a nod. “You wanna know why?” Quinn nods this time, and I smile, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Because you’re all I can think about, Quinn,” I whisper.
“Really?” she asks again.
I nod, holding her hand against my lips. “Really. So, tell me what else you need.”
She swallows again, her gaze dropping to my lips, which rest against her knuckles. “Will you tell me if this isn’t working for you?” she asks, the words barely audible.
“I will, I promise,” I immediately say. “Although for the record, I don’t...well...yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”
I don’t think it will, but what the hell would I know? I meant it when I said I’d never had a real relationship before. Never dated, either. I was the hook-up guy, the guy you came to for a fun night.
And I was okay with that. I wasn’t looking for anything more.
Until now.
Which is really fucking weird.
“Anything else?” I ask when she doesn’t continue.
“Do you have any ground rules?”
Chuckling, I kiss her knuckles once more before finally letting go of her hand. “Just one.”
“Okay, and?”
I smile, shifting my chair back around to the opposite side of the small table.
“That you’re always honest with me too,” I tell her.
“I want to know what you’re feeling and what you want.
Don’t be afraid to get pissed off or think you need to hide whatever’s going on with that asshole ex of yours, okay? ”
Quinn stares across the table at me, her eyes wide and unblinking as she takes me in. She watches me for so long that I start to laugh, shaking my head a little as I ask, “What?”
A slow smile pulls at her mouth now as she says, “Has anyone ever told you you’re kinda perfect?”
Now I do laugh. “Yeah, babe, all the time,” I tease with a wink.
Quinn blushes, and it’s all kinds of adorable as she swats her napkin across the table at me. I catch it, standing and shaking it out before I lean down and lay it across her lap, resting one hand on the back of her chair.
She tilts her head back a little so she’s looking up at me, and I watch as my other hand cups her jaw, my thumb brushing across her cheek.
“This is all sorts of new for me too, Quinn. And yeah, I’m kinda scared about all of it,” I admit. “But...I also want to try because I think you’re worth it.”
She laughs at this, her eyes closing briefly as she says, “Oh, you do, huh?”
I open my mouth to answer, but instead, I close the distance between us, dropping my lips to hers in a kiss that’s so different from any kiss I’ve ever had before. It’s a kiss that’s not going any further. A kiss without an agenda or a motive.
But it’s a kiss that’s so fucking perfect, I don’t ever want it to stop, even though I know it has to.
Quinn’s lips respond almost immediately, brushing against mine as my fingers tighten on her jaw. I feel the tip of her tongue teasing me, and for a second, I give in, returning the favor before I pull back.
“Fuck,” I breathe, straightening, trying like hell to remove the temptation of kissing her again.
Quinn is still staring up at me, her cheeks a little flushed and her lips parted. With a laugh, I brush my thumb across her mouth before walking back around to my side of the table.
Taking a seat, I lay my own napkin across my lap and say, “Okay, so we’re dating.”
“No, come on,” she says, throwing a cherry tomato at me. “Seriously, what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”
I laugh, catching the tomato before popping it into my mouth. Tonight has been fun. Easy and relaxed now that we’ve had our ground rules talk. The sexual tension is still there—holy fuck, is it still there—but it also feels different now.
Like we’re both finally on the same page with what we want here.
“What, you don’t think that whole thing with my boardshorts busting open while surfing was embarrassing?” I ask, reminding her of the day she lost her bikini when she was first learning to surf.
Quinn giggles, shaking her head as she says, “No way, I think that’s probably pretty tame compared to what you might have done.”
I scoff, a hand on my heart as I say, “Quinn, what are you suggesting?”
“Um, that you’re cheeky and playful and like to get into all sorts of trouble.”
“Hmm, well I mean, this is true,” I say with a shrug.
“So,” she says, waving a hand as though to encourage me to continue.
I laugh, topping up our wine before relaxing back into my chair. “I don’t know, I guess I don’t really get embarrassed about shit,” I say with a shrug. “I’m pretty chill about most things.”
“You are,” she says, smiling. “Honest about things too.”
I take a sip of wine as a server comes to clear our plates. “Is that a good thing?” I ask.
Quinn nods. “It’s a very good thing, refreshing even.”
“It’s who I am, Quinn,” I say with a shrug.
She doesn’t say anything, just watches me, a soft smile on her face.
“Do you have any siblings?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I do, I have a younger sister,” she says, her smile growing.
“Are you close?”
She takes another sip of wine, her eyes darting to the now dark horizon as she thinks about her answer, stalling maybe. “Yeah, we are,” she starts. “But Isla didn’t really like Sean, so that made things difficult at times.”
“Have you spoken to her since you left him?” I ask.
“I have, yeah,” she replies, blowing out a breath.
“And?”
Quinn refills our glasses, stalling again as she contemplates her answer. I feel like she thinks she has to filter herself before she responds, and a part of me doesn’t like that.
“And she’s happy I did it. Says it’s something I should’ve done a long time ago,” she finally admits.
I stand, holding my hand out to her. She looks up at me, blinking a couple of times before she finally slides her hand into mine and stands. I lead her over to the couch, pulling her down beside me, my arm around her shoulders. Pressing a kiss to her temple, I tuck her into my side.
“I’m guessing that’s kind of the last thing you needed to hear,” I eventually say.
She shrugs. “In hindsight, I obviously know he’s an asshole. A lying, cheating, thinks money can solve everything, asshole.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t think that when you married him,” I counter.
“No,” she breathes out. “But maybe I should have.”
I squeeze her shoulder. “Or maybe you should have believed him when he told you he loved you,” I say. “When he asked you to marry him, even. You loved him, Quinn. That’s not a crime, just like it’s not your fault he is an asshole.”
She huffs out a breath and says, “Fuck.”
With a laugh, I drop a kiss to the top of her head as I whisper, “I like you for who you are, Quinn, nothing more, nothing less. And certainly nothing to do with him.”
She nods, saying nothing as she sits beside me. Eventually, I feel her take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before she asks, “Are you and Miles close?”
“Yeah,” I say with a chuckle. “Very close. My whole family is.”
“I like that,” she whispers.
I drop another kiss to the top of her head as I say, “They like you too, you know.”
“They do?” she asks, looking up at me.
I grin, leaning in to drop a very quick kiss on her lips because I know if I linger any longer, the kiss is going to turn into more. And as much as I would like more, I know we aren’t there yet. Not even close.
“They do,” I confirm. “You wanna come have breakfast with us tomorrow?”
She blinks, her eyes wide as she watches me, a look of doubt and confusion on her face. “Are you sure?”
My smile widens as I say, “Yep.”