Chapter 33
Kai and I are seated next to each other at my little kitchen table, the laptop in front of us, the screen giving us a message telling us to wait.
I’m nervous, my palms growing sweatier with each passing second, because if this whole thing is a scam, I’m going to look like a complete idiot. Which it could be. People are horrible, especially when it involves celebrities or gossip.
A few seconds later, Allie Foster’s face appears on the screen, smiling and welcoming. Her long auburn hair is piled high on top of her head, her face free of makeup and her nose and cheeks are dotted with a smattering of freckles.
She looks far younger than she does in pictures and videos I’ve seen of her. But it’s definitely her, and I feel my shoulders relax. The moment of anxiety passes but is quickly replaced with what she could possibly want from me.
I know she wants an interview, but I’ve been with Sean long enough to know this industry can spin things any way they want. It’s like the comments on social media, with people thinking they know the situation, making up their own story and turning me into something I’m not.
“Oh, I’m so glad you agreed to meet with me. Now, let’s get this out of the way right now. This isn’t an interview,” she says pointedly, motioning between us on the screen, her smile glowing. “This is just to make sure you’re comfortable with me, so we won’t be talking about your life at all.”
“Sounds good,” I reply, hearing the nervousness in my voice, and Kai rests a comforting hand on the small of my back.
He begins to trace soft circles, calming me.
Just his presence calms me in ways I never thought were possible, and after everything I’ve been through, I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
He’s made me trust again, made me see that there are men in the world who care, and as he sits by my side, I realize I’ve fallen in love with him.
It’s in this quiet moment of stillness and support—not in all those things he did to make me swoon, but in the way he’s been here no matter what. I could walk away from this interview, from the money it will pay, just like I’ve done with the NDA, and Kai would still be here.
I am in love with him.
For a million reasons, but also for one simple one, too.
It hasn’t been that long, but the feeling is intense and all-consuming, my heart racing, needing to be close to him, and having him support me through all of this.
Looking over at him, I can feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes, overwhelmed and scared, excited and nervous, ready for this all to be over, but also to tell my side of the story.
Without words, he reaches up, his fingers brushing away the stray drops that begin to spill over. Gentle and sweet, his movements are intentional and perfect.
Leaning in, he kisses my temple, reminding me that he’s here no matter what.
“Aww,” Allie croons, pushing out her bottom lip in a sweet pout. “Seems like you found someone way better anyway.”
“Yeah, things here are good.” Glancing at Kai, he smiles reassuringly.
“So, if you decide to move forward with the interview, I’ll come to you. We can do the podcast pretty much anywhere. I’ll send you questions in advance so there are no surprises, but I also like to keep things casual. Kinda like if you were just chatting with a friend.”
I nod, taking it all in.
“After we’re done, it’ll go through editing, and I’ll send it to you before it comes out.
Anything that you aren’t okay with, you can let the team know, and we’ll pull it.
This is about you and your story. I want you to tell it as you lived it, not my interpretation of it or what the public thinks. ”
Again, I nod, but I need to say something, hating that I’m sitting here, silent and just agreeing to everything. This is how I found myself here in the first place.
“I need you to know I’m not doing this for the money,” I suddenly say, defending myself. “I want people to understand that emotional abuse is real. That it takes over your life and ruins you before you even know what’s happening. I want to tell my side of this before the media takes over.”
I chew nervously at my bottom lip, swallowing hard, pushing back the constant threat of tears. It’s been like this for months, and I’m done with it. I want to come out of this stronger but also honest.
“I would never agree to do this without paying you,” Allie states. “You need to be compensated for your truth, because if the rumors are true, he’s trying to pay you to stay silent.”
The rumors are true, but I don’t tell her that. I keep that to myself for now because one little slip-up, and it could all go public.
“I’ll do the interview.”
It’s simple and to the point. No more talk of what it will be like. I’m jumping in and saying fuck it to all the years I’ve been quiet, been told to shut my mouth and look pretty. To all those times I was told what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, how to behave and what not to say.
“I can be there tomorrow,” Allie says, and I laugh a little, shaking my head at her enthusiasm. Or, if we’re being real here, it’s more about how quickly she can get a jump on everyone else.
She wants my story out in the world before the mainstream media takes over. The only thing she has going for her right now is that Sean got himself arrested, and no one loves a story of an arrest like the tabloids.
“What time?” I ask, looking at Kai, wondering what he’s thinking about all of this.
He’s so stoic and even, never once telling me what to do or what he thinks, just supporting me through it all.
“Can you do around 5:00 p.m.? I’ll be flying in on an early flight from Los Angeles, so that should give us time to set up.”
“Sounds good.”
“Oh, and Quinn, the plan is to pay you five million for your story, but that is negotiable.”
Well, shit.
Allie arrives the next day, sending me the address of some amazing house she’s rented on the beach, and I ask Kai to join me.
“You sure you’re okay with joining me?” I ask him as we ride over there together. “If at any point things get uncomfortable for you, you can leave.”
“Babe,” he breathes out on a sigh. “These are all things I should be saying to you. No matter what is said or what happens, I’m here for you. I’m here to support you and make sure you’re okay.”
I let his words wash over me, taking them in, and on the tip of my tongue are the words I’ve been dying to say to him.
To tell him I love him. That I fell in love with him. All those weeks ago on that beach, when I saw him come out of the water to talk to me, there was something about him, but I was afraid to admit it to myself.
It felt too soon, too scary, too real, but he’s shown up every damn day, stood by me, encouraged me and made me feel safer than I have in years.
I’m about to do something that could change everything in my life. It could be freeing, or it could ruin any privacy I once had. But I can’t leave it all unsaid, bottled up and clouding my thoughts.
I need to move on, and this is the best way I know how.
And as scared as I am, I know Kai will be here no matter how this plays out or how Sean responds, or what happens when it’s all over with.
“Thank you,” is all I can say, though.
My words feel trapped in my throat, taken over by the nervousness and all the years I have been silenced.
I had no idea how much Sean was limiting me, keeping me from being myself until I landed here in Hawaii.
Being away from him has given me clarity, and things were far worse than I remember them being in the moment.
It’s the reason I’m here, sitting in the driveway of this massive home on the water, preparing myself for an interview that will undoubtedly blow up.
But isn’t that why I’m doing this?
So I can put it out there on my terms and say goodbye to this nightmare.
“You ready?” Kai asks me, lost in thought. His words sound distant and quiet.
Nodding, he opens the door, and I follow suit, taking his outstretched hand in mine. He squeezes tightly, pulling me to him, and as he lets go, he circles my shoulders with his arm.
“You can do this, Quinn,” he whispers into my hair, holding me still, stopping me from walking to the front door. “Be the confident, give-no-fucks girl I met on the beach.”
I let out a laugh, nearly choking on it because that’s the last thing I felt like when I met him. I was broken and beaten down, afraid to live, but he saw me far differently than I saw myself.
“I know I can do this,” I reassure not only him but myself. “It’s just that…” I stop, not wanting to put words to all my thoughts. Sean doesn’t get a say in how this goes, but here I am worrying about it.
“Nope,” Kai quips, shaking his head.
He has the most perfect smile: straight white teeth with a panty-dropping smirk on his sun-kissed face. He’s the sunshine I needed when I came here. I just had no idea I’d find it in a person, though.
With that smile on display, he continues with his words of encouragement, reminding me that I’m doing this for myself and no one else. That I shouldn’t hold back, that I need to tell my truth, my story and live free of all the bullshit.
With his forehead resting against mine, his arms wrapped loosely around my waist, his whispers echo all the things I’ve longed to hear from someone I care about. Every word of encouragement, every soft, caring word, every quiet, unsaid “I love you”—I can feel it all.
“You know the questions. Nothing’s a surprise,” Kai reminds me, and I close my eyes, basking in the closeness of his body.
I want to tell him, but my words stay stuck, and all I can manage is, “Thank you.”
And that’s when Allie appears on the expansive front porch, calling out to us. She waves her arms, smiling, her deep red hair shining in the tropical sunshine.
“You coming in or what?” she calls out playfully.
I take in a calming breath, letting it out slowly, and Kai and I head up to the house.
Here goes nothing.