Chapter 4
Mae
Fleetwood Mac pumps through my speakers as I hit Paxton County. I rolled my windows down about ten miles ago. The sun shines, as a warm breeze flows through my curly hair, making it wilder than it already is.
I haven’t been back since I graduated college, and that was nearly ten years ago. After that, I went straight into my master’s and got my degree in forensic accounting. I probably should have visited Aunt Francesca more, but with Mom, I felt like it was harder to go somewhere than stay put.
But life moves fast, you blink, and then it’s been years. As I left my twenties behind, the clock is getting faster. I thought it was supposed to slow down.
I drive slowly through town with three stoplights instead of the one from my childhood. People walk around the town square. A couple of cowboys have their horses hooked up in front of a coffee shop and then the farm and feed store.
Maybe things will slow down for me here.
I drive another five miles outside of town over a bridge that drops into a ravine.
Then, a couple of miles further, turn onto a long gravel road that leads to the house up on higher ground.
It’s a large log cabin with a green metal roof and a massive porch wrapping around it.
Flowerbeds are all over the front and around to the back, where I can see the barn peeking over the roofline.
Getting out of the car, I stretch my back and shake my stiff legs.
“I was beginning to wonder if you were coming,” Aunt Francesca says, standing on her front porch with an apron around her and white and black hair in a messy knot on top of her head.
“Hey, Auntie,” I say, coming up the stairs.
She pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. “How was the drive?” she asks.
“Good, it’s been a nice day. Traffic was rough until I got away from the city,” I tell her.
She nods and breezes into the house.
“Are you hungry?” she asks.
“You know I’ll always eat what you cook,” I tell her.
“It’s probably why I’ve gained another ten pounds,” Uncle Leo grumbles, coming around the corner.
“Hey sweetheart, how are ya’?” he asks, pulling me into a hug.
My uncle Leo is a beefy man, six feet easily, with a long beard that’s turned grey. When they stand side by side, you can’t help but smile at their size difference.
“I’m good. How are you?” I ask him.
He grins widely. “I just retired,” he says.
“That’s great, what are you going to do with all your extra time?” I ask him.
His smile drops, and he glances at my aunt. “You didn’t tell her?” he asks.
Um, what?
“You hush,” Aunt Francesca says.
I look between them, and he shakes his head before hugging me again and kissing my forehead.
“You know where to find me,” he grumbles and walks out the door to the barn.
The screen door slams, and I focus on my aunt. “What was he talking about?” I ask her.
She shakes her head and spins on her heel, pulling something out of the fridge. I send Mom a quick text letting her know I’m here and go back to my aunt.
“Auntie, are you okay? Are you sick? Is Uncle Leo?” I ask her, my heart beating out of my chest. Is she dying?
“Oh goodness, no, we’re fine. Your uncle is being dramatic,” she says, waving her hand nonchalantly.
“Okay, that’s not helping,” I mumble.
She huffs and throws her hands out. “I had an entire plan to feed you, maybe get a few glasses of wine in you before I had this conversation, but as usual your uncle doesn’t know how to read a room,” she says.
“Well, Auntie, you might as well tell me now,” I mumble. I should have known she was up to something.
She groans and gestures to the dinner table.
I hide my hands in my lap and wait for her to speak.
“Leo and I made a deal. When he finally decided to retire, I would too,” she says.
I nod, not sure what I have to do with any of this.
“In order to do that, I need help with my books, like I told you,” she says.
“That’s it?” I ask her.
“Yep,” she chirps, and hops out of her seat.
“Okay, sure, no problem, that’s why I came all this way,” I tell her.
She claps her hands and smiles. “Wonderful, I’ll get dinner going.”
“Auntie, it’s two in the afternoon.”
“It’s never too early for pasta,” she says and gets to work.
I sit there for a moment processing what just happened. She had already told me about her books. Which isn’t a problem, but the way Uncle Leo looked at her, it feels like there’s more. But I trust that she would have told me if there were.
Maybe I should text my cousin Leo Jr. Though I don’t know that he would have a clue, I know he got out of Paxton as soon as he possibly could. He lives in Florida now.
“I’m going to unpack the car,” I mumble.
“Your uncle will help you with your bags.”
She grabs her walkie-talkie on the counter and calls for him. “Big L, your niece needs help with her bags, over,” she says.
“Ten-four, darlin’. I’ll be down in a minute.”
I smile and try to swallow my laugh, but a little one pops through.
Aunt Francesca looks over her shoulder.
“What? It’s easier than yelling for him,” she says.
“Big L?” I ask her.
She grins and lifts a shoulder.
I shake my head, laughing, as I go back out the door to get my stuff.
When I get to my car, Uncle Leo meets me there and leans against the side of the car. “Did your auntie actually talk to you?” he asks me.
I make a face and open the back door to grab my backpack.
“I think so. She needs help with the shop since you’re retired now.”
He sighs. “Alright.” He pops the back and pulls my suitcase out. I overpacked because I wasn’t sure how her finances would be and it might take me a while to fully understand where everything is at.
“Damn, Mae, did you pack an elephant in this thing?” he says, carrying it down the hall.
“No, just a couple of cinder blocks,” I tell him.
He chuckles and takes my suitcase down the hall to the guest room.
“Auntie, did you get the internet situation figured out?” I ask her.
“Yes, yes, you should be able to do your work, I promise.”
“Thanks.” I go to my room and Uncle Leo makes his way back to the barn.
I start unpacking and can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more going on. My phone buzzes with a text from Sarah.
Sarah: Girl! Are we going out tonight? I thought we could try that new bar. You should wear that pretty red dress you got!
I stare at my phone, exhausted.
Mae: I left town, have to help my family. Have fun though!
Sarah: Awe, boo okay!
I’m tired of being the fourth wheel with my friends. They’re always the ones who easily strike up conversations. I’m tired of the effort. I’m tired of being overlooked. It doesn’t make sense. I’m not ugly. I know I’m not. Yet here I am.
I deleted the dating apps a couple of weeks ago because those weren’t working.
In fact, they are stuff made of nightmares as far as I’m concerned.
I’m tired of the triviality of it all. Maybe it’s because I’m too curvy or short?
I’ve considered it could be my hair? Maybe it’s my job, and it’s too boring, not interesting enough.
Regardless, I think I need a break from dating.
If I’m being honest with myself, I thought I would be in a very different place by now, but I’m not.
So, on top of helping Auntie, I figured I could give myself a chance to re-evaluate.
I need to recognize that the story I want may not be mine.
And if that’s the case, changing things up might not be a bad thing.