Chapter 23
Cooper
The house is clean. Naomi picked up her room, and then I cleaned it again. The living room is as good as it will ever get.
I’ve done all I can to prepare for Rebekah. I think I’m more nervous than Naomi.
I explained that her mother wanted to come visit her, and she didn’t seem all that put off by it. Then again, I wouldn’t call it excited either. We’ll see how tonight goes and then make decisions from there.
Last night I couldn’t sleep, wondering if I should withdraw the legal papers for Naomi.
But the more I thought about it, it doesn’t make sense to.
If I did, it would mean Rebekah is firmly back in our lives, and I’m not holding my breath.
It would also assume she’s prepared to be a mother, and I’m not confident in that either.
I love my sister, but I also know her. Tonight will show if she’s really changed. For the sake of this family, I hope she has. But I’m doing what’s right for Naomi, even if it’s hard.
“Dad?” Naomi calls.
“Yeah, princess?” I holler from the kitchen.
“Do you know if Mom likes coloring? Or maybe she’ll practice roping with me?” she asks.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I try to hold in my wince. “I don’t know, but you could ask her when she gets here?” I offer.
She nods and sets her coloring book on the dinner table.
“Are you nervous?” she asks, wringing her hands together.
“I think the better question is, are you?” I ask her.
Naomi tilts her head and pouts her lips. “A little.”
“That’s okay because I am too,” I say.
She shifts on her feet, and I can tell she wants to say something else.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Will she take me home with her?” she asks.
I squat down and open my arms. “Come’re.”
Naomi walks into my arms, looping her thin ones around my neck. I kiss her head and hug her tightly.
“No, this is your home. This is where you will stay,” I tell her.
Her shoulders drop, and she nuzzles her nose into my neck.
“Good because I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you.”
“I love you, Naomi.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” she says.
My heart twists and my stomach lurches. I hope it’s true. I hope I’m not lying to her. She doesn’t need to think about the legal aspects of this. That’s for me, but it is possible, and I’ll hate myself even more if I’m lying to her.
There’s a knock at the door, and I stand grabbing her hand.
We answer it together, and Naomi glues herself to my side.
“Hi Rebekah, good to see you,” I tell her.
She smiles softly at me and looks down at Naomi.
Naomi is virtually a replica of Rebekah with her brown hair, green eyes, and mouth.
I started to see it as she got older, but seeing them together, there’s no mistake she’s her daughter.
“Hi,” Rebekah says softly.
Naomi and I take a step back. “Come in.”
Rebekah hesitantly steps through the door, and Naomi stares at her, still glued to me.
“It’s okay, princess,” I tell her.
Naomi doesn’t say a word. I wondered how shy she would be.
“Can I get you some water?” I ask Rebekah.
“Please,” she says, and takes her shoes off, setting them next to ours.
We make our way to the kitchen, and I’m practically dragging Naomi with me. She needs a chance to adjust. “Naomi? How about you go start on your new coloring book, while your mom and I talk?”
She looks up at me anxiously, and I encourage her to go. Naomi finally relents and goes to the dining table to grab the book and plops down on the sofa.
I fill a glass of water for Rebekah, sliding it across the counter. She takes it and downs most of it in one go.
She’s my sister. I should comfort her, maybe encourage her, but I can’t find it in me. And I’m not sure what that says about me. I thought I was over the anger of her actions, and I’m not.
I’m still angry.
Rebekah puffs out a breath and pushes her straight brown hair out of her face.
“You look healthy.”
She nods, unable to make eye contact with me, still staring at Naomi.
“Just talk to her. Trust me, she has plenty to say,” I tell her.
Rebekah glances at me and works up the courage to approach Naomi.
“Can I sit here?” Rebekah asks her.
Naomi looks at me, and I give her the okay.
“Do you want to color with me? It’s a new coloring book my dad got me.”
Rebekah glances at me.
This is the second time Naomi has called me dad in front of her mother. To anyone else it would seem strange, but Rebekah has not been her real mother for a long time. She’s simply the woman who birthed the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Naomi tells her about the new coloring book and the kinds of colored pencils she likes to use because the crayons don’t have a fine enough point.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, breaking my focus from both of them.
June: How is it going?
Cooper: Did Aunt Dixie tell you?
June: Obviously. Is she…
June: I don’t know … stable?
Cooper: It appears that way, but I won’t let Naomi out of my sight
June: She’s not going to hurt her. I know you’re protective, and Bekah is crazy, but not that kind of crazy.
Cooper: I’m aware, but it’s more for Naomi’s sake.
I check on them again and Naomi has Rebekah coloring her own page she gave to her.
Cooper: She didn’t want to let go of me when Rebekah got here
June: Did she recognize her?
Cooper: I don’t think so, though Naomi is the spitting image of her.
June: Yeah, I’m starting to see it more
June: Let me know if you need something. We’re all at the house.
Cooper: The whole family?
June: Duh. We’re all worried about both of you and ready to jump in if necessary. This is an all family on deck kind of situation.
June: But quick question, do your parents know?
I sigh and go sit in the chair next to the couch while they color and talk.
Cooper: No, I thought about calling them, but I don’t want to get their hopes up. If things go well for a little bit, then I’ll tell them. But not before then.
June: Fair enough. We’re here for you and Naomi. Always have been, always will be.
Cooper: I know, thank you
June sends a heart emoji, and I set my phone down.
Naomi is finally warming up to Rebekah.
Trying to stay present, but also give them space, I flip the TV on and find the Pbr. It’s not football season, but the rodeos across the country are in full swing. I find the right channel and watch cowboys ride nasty bulls for eight seconds.
Every five seconds, I check on Naomi.
“Do you want to see my room? It’s pink, and I have my own pink fishing pole hanging on the wall. Do you want to see my boots too? I have a pink sparkly pair, and a brown pair with pink on it.”
“I’d love to,” Rebekah says.
Naomi takes her hand and leads them down the hall.
I wait a minute before following behind.
Naomi shows Rebekah her small library of books and various toys. Rebekah sits on her bed, watching Naomi move around her room excitedly.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I want to ignore it, but it could be June again.
I check it and smile. It’s Mae.
I don’t read the text and slide the phone back in my pocket, I’ll have to get to her later.
7:30 rolls around, and it’s time to wrap things up.
“Wrap it up, princess, it’s time to start getting ready for bed.”
She gets off the couch and gathers her coloring stuff, stacking it up.
Rebekah stands. “Can I have a hug?” she asks Naomi.
Naomi shyly hugs Rebekah. “Bye, I guess I’ll see you later,” she says.
“You will,” Rebekah says without hesitation.
“Go on, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Naomi nods and makes her way back to her room.
“Thank you, Cooper,” Rebekah says.
“You’re welcome.”
I walk Rebekah to the door, and she puts her shoes on. “When can I see her again?” she asks.
“I’m not sure, but I’ll call you and we can talk about it. I don’t want to throw her schedule off too much. It’s important, and I know she’s only seven, but this is a lot for a kid.”
Rebekah pins her lips together. “Do … do you think she recognized me?”
I saw the look on Naomi’s face. I know she didn’t, but my goal is not to rub salt in the wound. “I’m not sure,” I tell her.
She seems to accept that and reaches for the door.
“I’ll see you later,” she says.
“Yep.”
Rebekah walks down the stairs and over to her car. I probably should have asked where she’s staying, but one thing at a time. I wait until the taillights are out of sight before I go check on Naomi.
The bathroom wafts steam out of it, and I flip on the bathroom fan she always forgets to turn on.
“Did you wash your hair?” I ask her as she carefully brushes the wet strands.
“I told you I could do it.”
“Did you get all the soap out this time? Otherwise, we’ll have to rinse in the sink again,” I ask her.
“Ugh, yes,” she groans and sets her brush down before grabbing her toothbrush.
I get mine and we brush our teeth together.
Once she’s done, I follow her to her room and pull back the covers. I want to keep everything as normal as possible, even though her mother making a reappearance in her life is Earth shaking for a seven-year-old. I don’t want to talk about it and give it a second to settle in. But I have to.
Naomi climbs under her covers and settles against her pillows, then reaches for her stuffed donkey, also named Abe.
“What did you think about today?” I ask her.
She lifts a shoulder and plays with Abe’s mane.
“She seems nice. She wanted to see my boots and my room. She colored with me. I like her.”
“Good,” I tell Naomi.
It’s not jealousy making my stomach hurt. It’s the anxiety of wondering if this is the last time she’ll see Rebekah. I don’t want to get her hopes up.
“Maybe we can have a sleepover like I do with Auntie Gracie and June, and Grandma,” Naomi says.
“Is that something you want?” I ask her.
“I think it sounds fun,” she says.
“I’ll think about it.” I pause. “Naomi?”
She looks up at me with her green eyes, and I lean over, kissing her forehead. “I love you, and I want you to remember you can tell me anything, okay?”
“I love you too, Dad.” She pauses. “Should I call her mom?” she asks.
“You can.”
Her lips pout. “Okay. What chapter are we on now?” she asks, snuggling under the covers.
I lean back and start the next chapter.
Is it really that simple? Could this work smoothly?
After Naomi is tucked in for the night, I get ready for bed and finally pull up Mae’s message.
Mae: When are we planning our date? I have a project that was dumped into my lap.
Cooper: I’m sorry I couldn’t respond right away. Had to take care of Naomi.
Mae: That’s okay, you don’t need to apologize for that.
I smile at my phone, also relieved, she answered so quickly.
Cooper: Were you on pins and needles?
Mae: Hardly
Cooper: You responded faster than you ever have
I wait for her to respond, and she doesn’t. A couple of minutes go by, and still nothing. Dammit Cooper.
Cooper: okay okay, I give in please answer back
Mae: hahaha.
Cooper: You tell me when you want to go
Mae: Well, we’re both busy
Cooper: My daughter always comes first, but you are second. Tell me and I’ll make it happen.
Mae: I’m free tomorrow.
Cooper: I’ll pick you up at six.
Mae: Sounds good. Are you sure, though?
Cooper: Yeah, Naomi can hang with June. She wants to anyway.
Mae: Okay
Cooper: So what are you wearing?
Mae: You cannot be serious.
Cooper: Deadly, tell me what you’re wearing.
I grin at the phone, waiting for her response. She’ll probably tell me off, or throw it right back and ask me what I’m wearing — a pair of pajama shorts.
The bubbles pop up again, and I almost drop the phone because she sent me a picture.
Fumbling to hold my phone straight, I tap on the picture, making it bigger, and she’s wearing shorts, a tank top, definitely no bra, and her hair is a mess on top of her head.
Glasses sit on her nose, and she’s making a funny face holding a pencil between her teeth.
Damn, that’s sexy.
Mae: Gotcha
Cooper: Is that your normal work attire? Can I work at your company?
Mae: Haha, very funny, and I thought you were bad at math
Cooper: I’m sure I could figure something out
Mae: It’s hot
Cooper: Yes, you are
Mae: *eye roll emoji*
Cooper: You are terrible at taking compliments, stubborn
Mae: So what are you going to do about it?
Cooper: Keep complimenting you
Mae: That… was not the answer I was expecting
Cooper: You thought you had me pegged, didn’t you?
Mae: … maybe
Cooper: Did you want me to tell you I’d lay you over my thigh and slap that pretty little ass until you accept all my compliments?
Mae: No
Cooper: Liar
Mae: Prove it
Cooper: One day I will by putting a ring on your finger
Mae: That’s presumptive
Cooper: Is it?
Mae: Goodnight Cooper
Cooper: Goodnight, stubborn, I’ll see you tomorrow
Mae: Maybe
Cooper: See you at six
Mae: …okay
I toss my phone onto the side table and get comfortable. It was not on my intention to tell Mae that I’d do … well, any of those things. So much for keeping a lid on my feelings, but they are real. It’s not like I’m going to propose tomorrow or next week — maybe next month.
The point is, I can see a future with Mae.
I think we live in a world where men aren’t willing to commit, and women are scared, or it’s the other way around.
I’m not afraid of commitment. Younger Cooper, prior to Naomi, might have been.
But not anymore. When I see something I want, I go after it.
When I decide I want to love someone with everything I am. I do it — that simple.
Naomi is the perfect example. I will fight the world for her. I will go to war for my family. And Mae might belong in that group.