Delirium #2

Chapter 1

SEREIA

“Exo—"

“How was the walk?” He interrupted, snapping out of the trance I caught him in after coming back from a walk with his mother.

Yes. Exodus’s mother. I was in Wildermere at her house, not knowing what the hell I was doing.

Well… I knew. He told me. I was her caregiver.

Caregiver. I was a damn cashier at Coney.

I didn’t belong here, but for whatever reason he thought I was a perfect fit for the job.

Said all I needed to qualify was a good heart.

How he knew I had that, I didn’t know. The nigga didn’t know me from a can of paint.

We’d only had a couple of encounters, and I was in his mother’s house, getting ready to work for her full time. What the hell was my life?

“It was good. She stopped when we got to the fourth house, so I assumed she wanted to come back. You cool?”

He jumped up, brushed his hands down the front of shorts that did very little to hide his dick print, and nodded.

“I need you to stay. Tonight. Like I said, I’ll give you time to make a decision about staying here but tonight...

I need you here. Tomorrow, I’ll figure some shit out. You good with that?”

He wanted me to move in. Said this arrangement would work best if I was a live-in caregiver rather than one who came in at a scheduled time. I was on the fence about it. Shouldn’t have been. It should have been an easy decision to make. But it wasn’t.

There was a lot in The Woods. Nothing in the physical.

Everything in energy. Memories. I shared that apartment with my family.

After everything went left, me and Meech created our own little memories.

We swapped stories, reminiscing on that raggedy little brown couch.

I shared meals with him in that roach-infested kitchen.

Cooked his favorite food. Well... tried to at least. It was spaghetti.

He loved the way momma used to make it. I could never get it exactly right.

But regardless, I watched my brother, hunched over, digging in plates of spaghetti, smashing, like it was the best thing he’d ever eaten.

He didn’t complain once about that ‘thing’ that was missing. Always told me it was ‘fire’.

We argued.

He talked shit.

I talked shit.

Those walls held a lot of fucking memories.

But you know… it wasn’t all good. My momma died there.

They pulled the carpet, but I swear I could still see where it happened.

Something about the wood there just… wasn’t right.

It was faded. Told me she bled through. Told me they got on their hands and knees and scrubbed that spot with their bare hands.

That should have been reason enough to move, right?

The bad. But it was only bad that one time.

There were memories. Good, good memories.

Oddly, that one bad memory didn’t overshadow the good.

As much as I hated being there since Demetrius’ death, just packing up and leaving wasn’t an easy decision to make.

It wasn’t just the memories conflicting me.

I wasn’t supposed to leave The Woods without him, remember?

We were supposed to leave together. And while it would have been hard as hell to get him out of his comfort zone, he would have followed me.

Not because I had crazy faith about a promising future but because my brother would move mountains and go to the end of the earth for me, if it meant making me happy.

I really, truly, lost a real fucking nigga.

“Yo,” he said, his tone laced with irritation, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I locked eyes with him, slightly cocking my right brow. “Yes, Exodus. I can stay the night here,” I snapped. “I just need—

“Here,” he paused, grabbed his phone from his pocket and tapped around it at damn near the speed of lightning. “Get with Rocc. He’ll get you whatever you need. Just,” he looked up from his phone and locked eyes with me. “Do not leave my mother.”

I drew back a little, offended. “I won’t.”

We stayed, connected, eye-to-eye, for a good five, six seconds before he said, “I have to go. I should be back in the morning. If not, one of us will be here. Don’t open the door for anybody but Rocc or one of us. Rocc stays on the porch.”

With that, he walked away. Before he walked out of the door, he kneeled in front of his mother, who was seated on another foyer bench. Leaning in, he said a few hushed words in her ear and kissed her on the forehead. Standing, he walked out of the door without saying another word to me.

I was a little stuck. Standing in the middle of a room, with a woman I had only heard stories about.

Mrs. Marietta was a community activist, really.

She was heavily known and respected in the community as First Lady—Pastor Isaiah’s wife.

She was sweet as pie. Always at the women’s shelters, volunteering, and holding fundraisers and women’s empowerment events at the church.

All of which I never attended. My mother though?

My mother loved First Lady. She stayed at the church, and those events.

Back then, I was too young to attend. When they would have youth events, she’d try to get me to go but I was never interested.

One thing I loved and appreciated about my mother was that she never tried to force anything on us.

Anyway.

First Lady was a gem in Brickhaven. When she kind of lost it after Pastor Isaiah’s death, it fucked the whole city up.

There was a shift after he died. A shift that, oddly, everybody in the city felt.

So, working for her… it was a bit surreal.

Intimidating, for real. I didn’t know what I was doing or how I even ended up here.

With a deep breath, I walked over to First Lady, extending my hand. “You want to watch The Bernie Mac show?”

She looked at my hand, left it lingering there, and stood up. When she walked off, I followed her. As expected, she went to the living room and sat in the same spot she was at when I first got here.

After turning The Bernie Mac Show on for her.

I went to the kitchen. Leaning over the massive island, I pulled my phone from the pocket of my hoodie to finally call Lake to tell her what was going on.

She’d been blowing my phone up since I shot her a text, telling her about the job Exodus wanted me to do.

“About time, bitch. What’s going on? How is she?”

In the background, Alani yelled, “Is she drooling like everybody—”

“No bitch,” I interrupted. “What is wrong with you?”

I was disgusted.

Honestly.

There had been rumors about First Lady floating around the city since Pastor was killed.

People said she was on bed rest, in a vegetative state.

Some said she was literally crazy, talking to herself, just a mess.

No one knew what the fuck they were talking about.

First Lady hadn’t been seen since before Pastor Isaiah’s death, so they drew up their own assumptions.

I thought it was disrespectful as hell and never participated in the rumors.

Pastor Isaiah died years before my momma.

And while I might not have known what it was like to experience grief back then, I was compassionate.

Little did I know, though, I would know a pain similar to First Lady’s years later.

I didn’t think there was anything funny or gossip worthy about loss.

“My bad,” Alani said.

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway… Lake.”

“Yeah?” She answered. “You good? Like… What's going on? You’re not going to hop on the FaceTime? I know that bitch lavish.”

“I heard they moved her to a big ass five-bedroom mansion out that bitch. I want to see it too!” Yelled Kiera in the background.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not going to hop on FaceTime. I’m at work. I’m taking this shit serious.” I paused. “So look, I need you to pack me a bag. Dude named Rocc gon’—

“You moving out there? Damn bitch. What the hell is really going on?” Alani butted in again.

“Lani if you don’t shut the fuck up, bro. I’m not moving—”

“And why not? Didn’t you say he asked you to move in? Like as a live-in aide? You need to move in because ain’t shit out here in The Bricks. Dead ass serious,” Lakeland cut in.

Lake didn’t understand because Lake didn’t understand. She hadn’t loved and loss like me. For someone to truly understand, they would have had to gone through what I went through.

I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes again.

They were truly blowing me. “We will talk about that later. Bitch damn! What is wrong with you ho’s?

Anyway. I need you to pack me a bag. I’m staying out here tonight.

He’s going to bring you the key. I don’t want that nigga in my apartment at all so make sure he stays in the parking lot. ”

“What you need me to get?”

After telling her everything I needed, we got off the phone.

I stood there a moment, eyes on First Lady.

I ran my hand through my hair and tore my eyes away from her, to take in the house for the fiftieth time.

What the hell was I doing here, bro? Every couple of minutes or so, I found myself questioning life.

Questioning reality, really. This truly did not feel like my life. At all.

To be thrown into an opportunity like this, not long after my brother died was a little rattling.

Spiritually, we called that a timeline jump.

And this one... it was massive. Intimidatingly massive.

So massive that I didn’t think I was prepared for it.

But because of how I was set up mentally, I knew that this opportunity wouldn’t have fell into my lap like this unless I actually was.

Still... regardless of what I ‘knew’, I didn’t feel ready.

I didn’t feel ready for any of this at all.

Losing Demetrius was life changing in ways I could have never imagined.